"Lady Yoruichi! Let me cut down this lying bastard who dared deceive you!" Soifon roared, drawing her blade with deadly resolve.
Clearly, she'd been thoroughly misled by Yoruichi's performance earlier. Or rather, to be precise, anything Yoruichi said, she believed without question. At this point, Soifon still thought that Shirou Emiya had toyed with Yoruichi's feelings.
"Hey! I'm your future husband, you know! How can you say that so casually?!" Shirou finally had the chance to blurt out what he didn't get to say before he passed out.
"So what? If I kill you, then I won't have to marry you, what kind of 'husband' is there to talk about?" Soifon said coldly.
"…Huh?" Shirou was dumbfounded. His eye twitched. This was a first for him, meeting someone who could speak about murdering her own fiancé with such self-righteous conviction!
Thankfully, Yoruichi stepped in and pulled Soifon back. With a mysterious flourish, she pulled out a handkerchief from who-knows-where and gently dabbed at the corner of her eyes, eyes Shirou was very sure had absolutely no tears.
"Let it go, little bee. We did spend a night together, after all, he can be heartless, but I can't be ungrateful~"
"W-What?! You two already, ?!" Soifon's face instantly darkened like a thundercloud.
Shirou wanted to cry. Lady, do I look like I'm in any condition for "a night together"? Look at these small arms and legs! Even if I wanted to, I literally couldn't!
Also… you're a noble lady of the Shihōin clan, for heaven's sake! Can you please show some concern for your reputation?
It was bad enough that you streak all over the place in canon, but now you're casually tossing out spicy implications in front of others?! No way. Shirou made a mental note, he was definitely going to fix this woman's bad habits!
"So… what should we do now, Lady Yoruichi?" Soifon looked a little lost. If she didn't kill Shirou, then wouldn't she still be engaged to him? That would mean she… stole Yoruichi-sama's man! Unacceptable!
"The death penalty can be waived, but the punishment must still be served!" Yoruichi grinned like a bandit.
"Hey hey, I'm still severely injured over here!" Shirou protested.
But then, his sharp eyes caught a familiar figure entering from the door. His face lit up, and he cried out like a drowning man spotting a lifeboat:
"Captain Unohana! Save me! Please save me!!"
He was sure, absolutely sure, that Retsu Unohana would help him. She was gentle, beautiful, the very image of a dependable big sister...
Sure enough, she returned his pleading gaze with a soft, reassuring smile and gently said:
"Don't worry. I'm a healing-type."
I'm a healing-type.
Healing-type.
Healing… type…
type…
... … ...
CRACK!!
If the last blow from Soifon was like being struck by lightning on a sunny day, this… was like the sky completely collapsing on top of Shirou.
Physical pain had nothing on psychological trauma.
When your worldview shatters, that's when the real pain begins.
"Damn it! damn it all!"
"Little Emiya, just accept your fate. Hehehe~ You'll live, don't worry," Yoruichi cackled ominously.
Beside her, Soifon's blade gleamed again.
Clearly, Unohana had silently given them the go-ahead:
"Do whatever you want. As long as he's still breathing, I can heal him."
To Shirou, this was a fate worse than death. Worse than Tsukuyomi, even. Tsukuyomi was just an illusion. This was real pain. Real wounds. Just healed up... only to be inflicted again.
But again, physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional devastation.
The place he once saw as a warm sanctuary, Squad Four, had now become a personal hell. The gentlest harbor was now a psychological torture chamber.
He had long suspected that Unohana was secretly dangerous... but some part of him still wanted to believe. That she was a safe, reliable person.
Not anymore.
Shirou clenched his teeth. From now on, he swore, he would never get injured again. In the Soul Society, nothing was more terrifying than Squad Four!
After enduring untold rounds of torment from the Yoruichi-Soifon combo, Shirou finally got a break. Yoruichi, having had her fill of fun, left with Soifon.
Following Unohana's "healing," Shirou dragged his battered little body out of Squad Four's barracks, quietly escaping like a prison break.
He wandered aimlessly through one of the wide streets of Seireitei.
Truth be told, other than the Shihōin district, Shirou had never really explored the rest of Seireitei, let alone Rukongai.
Now, even though he found himself in an unfamiliar area, he had no interest in sightseeing. He kept his head low, walking with a heavy heart.
It wasn't that he was lost. Just… directionless.
Then suddenly, he caught a whiff of alcohol.
His steps halted.
Looking up, he saw a giant sign with a bold "Sake" character. Without hesitation, he walked in.
He needed to drink.
Finding a dim corner, Shirou sat down. The shop owner didn't kick him out. Though he looked young, Shinigami couldn't be judged by appearance, and anyone residing in Seireitei clearly wasn't just a random civilian. No need to offend anyone.
So the boss did what he had to, served him, then left.
Shirou began drinking alone, in silence.
Soon after, a voice rang out across the table:
"Mind if I sit here?"
Had it been a woman, Shirou might've looked up. But hearing it was a man, and already in a foul mood, he didn't even bother responding. He just gave a half-hearted nod and kept drinking.
The man chuckled and sat down leisurely.
This man wasn't new to the place. In fact, he was a regular, and the kind that didn't want to be recognized. Always drinking in shadows.
But now, seeing Shirou alone in a corner, clearly in the depths of misery, he got interested. Honestly, drinking's not fun if you're alone, best to have someone to chat and shoot the breeze with.
The man slowly poured himself a drink and casually said a few words.
Shirou gave him a side glance. He'd wanted to drown quietly in alcohol, but now he'd run into a chatterbox. Can't you see I'm in a horrible mood?
But then he looked closer, and paused slightly.
He recognized the guy.
But… he didn't show much surprise. Shirou wasn't the same naive kid anymore. Calmly and bluntly, he replied.
The man raised his eyebrows. If Shirou hadn't recognized him, that reaction might've made sense. But from the look he gave earlier, he had recognized him, and yet still talked back so casually?
Now that was rare.
Most of the man's drinking buddies were of much lower rank, and they were all stiff and nervous around him at first. Only after a few rounds and some familiarity did they loosen up and treat him like a regular guy.
Ever since Shunsui Kyōraku became a captain, very few people could stay this calm from the get-go.
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150 P.S = 1 Extra Chapter