What kind of monster is this kid, really?!
Kyōraku Shunsui couldn't help but gasp inwardly.
He hadn't paid much attention earlier, but now that he saw Shirō Emiya's body still wrapped in bandages, it was obvious the kid had escaped from somewhere, and in poor condition at that.
If it were Yoruichi who came looking for him, it'd be bad enough. But if Captain Unohana came to retrieve this drunken runaway, then Shunsui absolutely didn't want to be within slapping range of her terrifying "smile."
He hadn't even finished his thought when,
"Captain Kyōraku!! You're slacking off again! Skipping work to go drink, aren't you?!"
A sharp voice cut through the bar.
Shunsui panicked.
This wasn't like her! She usually just snatched his sake away and dragged him back by the collar. But now she was actually saying they should leave on their own?
"W-Wait, let's keep talking," Shirō's drunken voice chimed in from the side, still clutching his sake cup. "We're not done yet…"
Lisa Yadōmaru turned her head toward the source of the voice, and in an instant, her expression darkened.
Her tone turned frosty:
"Unbelievable. You even lured a minor out for drinks? Really, Captain Kyōraku? How low can you go?"
Shunsui broke into a cold sweat.
"Wait, wait, let me explain, actually, no! This isn't the place for this. Let's talk on the way back, okay?"
He tried to drag Lisa away immediately.
At that moment, Shirō finally blinked through his drunken haze and got a good look at the newcomer: black Shihakushō, glasses, and holding a huge book in her arms.
What made the book seem so big was… well, the person holding it was just a kid.
In fact, Lisa at this point looked to be about the same age as Nanao did in the flashbacks from over a hundred years ago.
Shirō's face twisted in disbelief.
"Kyōraku! I used to think you were just some middle-aged perv with a fetish for secretaries…
But turns out, you're a full-blown lolicon! And worse, you're into raising them!
I despise you!!"
With that, Shirō swayed once, then collapsed face-first onto the table. Out cold.
He had shouted loud enough for the entire tavern to hear. The place fell into an awkward silence, followed by a wave of murmurs.
"Kyōraku Shunsui…"
"Captain of Squad Eight…"
"Secretary uniform fetishist?"
"Lolicon?"
"Raising them…?!"
Lisa, the perfect storm of "secretary" and "loli," stood right beside him, serving as living, breathing evidence.
Shunsui quickly pulled down his straw hat to cover his face, and, shunpo! He vanished from the scene.
If anyone familiar had witnessed it, they would've marveled:
"Captain Kyōraku's flash step really has improved a lot lately…"
Lisa sighed.
Since Kyōraku had dragged a drunk and clueless kid into this mess, she couldn't exactly let it slide.
She picked up Shirō's limp little body, turned to the bar owner, and said calmly:
"Put it on his tab."
Then, after a pause, added:
"His personal tab, not Squad Eight's."
With that, she carried him off toward the Squad Eight barracks.
Honestly, if not for this twist of fate, the penniless Shirō would've probably had to be rescued by Yoruichi later.
And if that happened?
Oh, he definitely wouldn't have survived her "hospitality"…
Shirō gradually drifted awake, his mind foggy.
He felt… cold.
Also, someone's hands were groping around on his body.
This wasn't new, he'd grown used to this kind of thing during physical exams in Squad Four.
But remembering how "terrifying" Squad Four could be, Shirō immediately jolted upright.
He shrank against the wall and screamed:
"Don't come any closer!!, wait… huh???"
Now fully awake, he finally realized:
This wasn't Squad Four.
And the person in front of him wasn't one of the usual medics either.
She didn't look like she was from Squad Four at all.
In fact… wasn't she a little too small to be working here?
Child labor?!
"Who are you? Where am I? Why am I here?!"
He fired off his questions in rapid succession.
The little girl adjusted her glasses with a mature air and replied flatly,
"I'm Yadōmaru Lisa. This is Squad Eight.
You were drunk, so I brought you back."
"Oh…"
Shirō visibly relaxed and rubbed his pounding forehead.
"Right… I remember now. I was drinking with Kyōraku.
Then… everything went fuzzy. I guess I passed out."
He looked up at Lisa and smiled sheepishly.
"Thanks."
"Don't mention it," she replied coolly, glasses glinting.
"If you're fine now, I'll take my leave, "
"Wait, !!" Shirō suddenly shrieked.
"Why the hell am I NAKED?!"
He grabbed the nearby clothing and frantically covered himself.
"Ahem." Lisa blushed slightly and adjusted her glasses again.
"I saw you were still bandaged and seemed to be badly hurt…
So I checked you over. That's all."
"Oh… well… thanks, I guess." Shirō nodded awkwardly,
Then froze.
Wait a second.
Yadōmaru Lisa… isn't she that perverted bookworm?!!
Could it be… she did something to him while he was unconscious?!
He shrank back a little more.
"Heh… didn't think you'd be into this kinda thing…
But my body was already mostly healed at Squad Four…"
Lisa nodded with a straight face.
"Indeed. I double-checked everything and confirmed you're mostly healed."
When she said "double-checked," Shirō's mouth twitched.
Then he spotted the large book in Lisa's hands.
Though some of the cover was obscured, he could still clearly make out the giant characters:
"Spiritual Body Anatomy".
(Which, in the Living World, would basically just be "Human Anatomy.")
Shirō almost choked.
Look, I get that you're curious… but don't use me as your personal research specimen!
He smiled bitterly.
Not that he minded being a test subject, per se…
But something about Lisa's glasses, her researcher vibe, and cold professionalism reminded him of…
Mayuri Kurotsuchi.
And that sent shivers down his spine.
Suddenly, Lisa pushed her glasses up again and said:
"By the way, if you ever have any concerns, feel free to visit Squad Eight.
I can provide you with a private rest chamber anytime."
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150 P.S = 1 Extra Chapter