"That damn bastard! Darting around like a rat!" Soifon cursed under her breath. She didn't think Shirou Emiya was actually stronger than her, just annoyingly slippery and agile.
Of course, it wasn't like Soifon was blindly arrogant either. In her mind, if Shirou truly had overwhelming strength, then why was he still running from her instead of fighting head-on? That didn't make sense!
And to begin with, she already had a terrible impression of this guy, no manners, always grinning like an idiot. Could someone like that possibly be powerful?
"Stop running! Stand still and fight me!" Soifon yelled from behind.
Stand still? Am I stupid? Why would I stand still so you can beat me up?! I'm not Chad!
"Come on, Soifon, hear me out! We should be on the same side, you're being misled by Yoruichi!" Shirou called back with a pleading smile, the very picture of sincerity... even though he was lying through his teeth.
"Who's on the same side as you?! And how dare you badmouth Lady Yoruichi! I'll kill you!!" Soifon bared her teeth and roared.
Shirou could only let out a dry laugh. That moment of distraction almost got him skewered, he narrowly dodged Soifon's sudden strike, but even so, a strand of his hair floated down.
Wait a sec, she's not using a wooden stick?! That's a real knife?!
Are you kidding me?! First you bring in a low-level junior, and now you hand her a real weapon?! Shirou had no intention of getting actually stabbed, but now cold sweat drenched his back.
Should he go complain to Yoruichi?
Shit! This was obviously her doing. It wasn't just some tacit approval, Yoruichi must've explicitly told Soifon to bring a real blade. Shirou remembered Soifon being the type to follow rules to the letter. No way she snuck it in on her own.
Appealing to Yoruichi now would just get him laughed out of the room.
So Shirou decided not to waste his time, and instead tried talking Soifon down again.
"Soifon, listen…"
"Shut up! Don't call me by name! You think you're allowed to say my name?!" Soifon was clearly agitated now. She still hadn't taken him down, and if she failed after all her earlier boasting, what would Yoruichi think of her? That she was all talk?
"We're gonna be family eventually, why are you so hostile?" Shirou said, finally pulling out the big guns.
"F-Family?! You lecherous creep!!"
Looks like he'd leveled up from shameless scoundrel to outright pervert.
"No seriously! I'm being honest! Your family and mine already decided this!" he said, still dodging madly.
"Liar!!" Soifon snapped, but her blade paused.
A reaction! Shirou's eyes lit up.
"Why would I make something like this up? You're still young, so they probably didn't tell you yet. But if you go home and ask, you'll see it's true. You think I'd tell such an obvious lie that'd be exposed instantly?"
"You're saying… it's true?" Soifon slowed down further, clearly rattled.
If it really was an arrangement her family made behind her back, she wouldn't be surprised. They never cared for her opinion anyway.
But… was she really going to marry this guy?
He was a shameless jerk. He disrespected Lady Yoruichi...
But then again, he hadn't actually harmed her. And he had been polite. Maybe he really meant what he said.
But then… Yoruichi-sama…
Her thoughts were in chaos. Her hands dropped to her sides.
Shirou smiled, finally breathing a sigh of relief. He cautiously stepped closer. Seeing that she still didn't move, he relaxed for real.
"See? There's no need for us to fight this hard. It's just a training match, right?" He wisely chose not to bring up Yoruichi again, sidestepping that landmine for now.
"I guess…" Soifon muttered. Her tone was softening.
Perfect.
But then,
"SHIROU!!"
A heartbroken wail tore through the air.
Shirou flinched. That was Yoruichi's voice.
"I… I can't believe it. You were engaged this whole time? Then why… why did you treat me like that… like that… sob sob…"
Tears shimmered in Yoruichi's eyes, threatening to fall. Her pitiful expression, an award-winning act, no doubt, was enough to move even the coldest heart.
SPLAT!!
A geyser of blood burst from Shirou's shoulder.
His eyes widened. He didn't even have time to shout "WTF?!" before Soifon's blade slashed down.
"I'LL KILL YOU!!!" Soifon roared, eyes blazing red.
She attacked harder than ever, more vicious than before.
Clutching his wounded shoulder, Shirou scrambled to dodge.
"Yoruichi's lying! Don't let her fool you!" he shouted in panic.
"AAAAAAHHHH!!"
Soifon just screamed and charged, completely ignoring everything he said.
"Yoruichi! You can't just say whatever you want! Words matter!!" Shirou yelled desperately.
"Hm? I didn't say anything wrong~" Yoruichi replied with a look of pure innocence.
And technically, she didn't, she never said what Shirou did to her.
But with her teary eyes and dramatic timing? Anyone would've misunderstood.
Of course, Shirou didn't have time to argue semantics anymore.
Because Yoruichi's voice… came from right next to his ear.
OH CRAP.
He whipped his head around, only to see that the three hundred black-clothed fighters had all been taken down already.
This is bad.
"Bakudō #9: Geki!" Yoruichi's fingertip glowed yellow as spirit cords erupted and wrapped around Shirou.
"We weren't supposed to use Kido!" Shirou gaped.
"Oops~ I forgot!" she chirped, all innocent smiles.
Yeah right! Was this cheating? Revenge? BOTH?!
As Shirou lay frozen, Soifon's blade came crashing down.
"This girl… she's really… fuck, how annoying..."
That was Shirou's last thought before everything went black.
Faint murmurs. Soft sheets. Familiar scent.
This place… he knew it…
Squad Four. Of course.
Shirou blinked himself awake, touching the all-too-familiar infirmary bed with a bitter smile.
"So I've become a regular at Squad Four, huh? I always joked about faking an injury just to hang around here… but I never actually wanted to get hurt, let alone critically…"
"Ah! You're awake!"
That annoyingly familiar voice snapped him fully alert.
"Geez, little Shirou, you sure are fragile," Yoruichi giggled. "Soifon! Come here, he's awake!"
"Don't let her near me!" Shirou immediately shouted.
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150 P.S = 1 Extra Chapter