The guild hall was loud.
Not with alarms or combat magic—but with voices. Dozens of them, overlapping and echoing through a temporary guild base that was far too small for the number of people using it.
Teleportation circles flared in and out of existence as members logged in, logged out, argued about builds, or showed off new equipment like children comparing rare toys.
What stood here was no more than a functional headquarters—walls deliberately plain, corridors built too wide for comfort, and an atmosphere that felt unfinished, as though the structure existed only to serve a purpose, not to inspire those within it.
Momonga stood near the guild terminal, carefully reviewing gold flow, upkeep costs, and long-term storage limits. His skeletal fingers moved with practiced precision, adjusting values most players never bothered to understand.
Henry dropped into a chair nearby, boots landing on the table without the slightest hint of respect.
"Tell me again," Henry said, "why we need three separate gold sinks just to keep Ulbert from bankrupting the entire guild."
Momonga didn't even look up. "Because if we don't, he'll do it anyway. At least this way it's controlled."
"That's not control, That's just limiting the damage."
Momonga finally glanced at him. "Which is the highest form of leadership in this guild."
Henry laughed. Around them, guild members passed by—some waving, others too busy arguing about PvP balance or raid schedules to notice.
Down the corridor, Ulbert's voice echoed as he barked instructions at a member. "No, no—careful! That statue is purely decorative," he snapped. "The enchantment is only for consistent lighting!"
Henry tilted his head, listening for a moment. "Damn," he muttered. "He beat me to it… and we don't even own a dungeon yet."
"And yet," Momonga said flatly, "he has filled three storage vaults."
Henry smirked. "He's preparing for a future that doesn't exist yet."
Momonga paused.
"That sentence describes Ulbert perfectly."
Farther down the hall, sealed crates materialized one after another—ornate pillars, banners, gargoyles, altars, chandeliers, stained glass panels. Each item was officially labeled as 'roleplay props'.
Unofficially?
Several of them pulsed faintly with enchantment signatures.
Ulbert leaned against a crate, arms crossed, grinning like a man who had just beaten the system without rolling dice.
"You ever think about how weird this is?" Henry asked.
Momonga nodded. "It's chaotic. Inefficient. Excessive."
"…You love it," Henry added.
"Yes," Momonga admitted. "I do."
A sudden shout echoed from another room as someone triggered a trap by accident, one that also wasn't supposed to exist. Another voice yelled back, blaming lag.
Henry gestured vaguely at the chaos background. "See? Perfectly balanced game design."
Momonga sighed. "One day, when the servers shut down, I'll finally have peace."
Henry smirked. "Liar. You'd miss this in a week."
Momonga smile, didn't deny it. He lowered his voice. "You know, Henry… this guild only works because people like you keep things grounded."
Henry shrugged "Someone has to remind you this is still a game."
Momonga looked at him for a long moment. 'And if it stops being one?"
Henry met his gaze, calm and steady. "Then we just adapt. Just like we always do."
Another system message chimed overhead:
[ROLEPLAY ASSETS DELIVERED]
Ulbert's laughter echoed through the hall. "Free props!" he declared cheerfully. "Totally harmless! Completely cosmetic!"
Henry closed his eyes "…He lied to the developers again, didn't he."
Momonga nodded slowly. "Yes."
"…About the enchantments?"
"Yes."
Momonga watched Ulbert carefully catalog each item, labeling them for future placement—Throne Room, Lower Mausoleum, Sanctum Core—rooms that did not yet exist.
The halls grew louder as more members logged in, laughing, arguing, planning—a temporary base filled with permanent memories.
-----
Henry was mid-conversation with Momonga when literally, Ulbert appeared out of no where and dragged him down the corridor without hesitation. Henry protested out of habit, but didn't resist.
"You do realize," Henry said while being dragged, "that this is technically kidnapping?"
"…Only if you scream," Ulbert replied flatly, dragging Henry like an overpacked suitcase with opinions.
"I feel like I should be more alarmed right now," Henry said, glancing back at Momonga, who was still standing where the conversation had been violently abandoned.
Momonga tilted his skull slightly. "Should I stop this?"
Ulbert didn't slow down. "No."
Momonga nodded once. "Understood. Carry on."
Henry sighed. "See? This is how it starts. One day it's corridor-dragging, next day I wake up in a villain monologue."
"I don't monologue," Ulbert said. "I rant."
"That's worse." They turned a corner sharply. Henry nearly smacked into the wall. "Hey—warning next time!"
"You have legs," Ulbert replied. "Use them."
Henry glanced around. "So where are we going, exactly?"
Ulbert shrugged. "Somewhere with fewer witnesses."
"That is not reassuring." Henry sighed deeply. "I knew I should've stayed with Momonga. He only kidnaps people emotionally."
From the far end of the corridor, Momonga's voice echoed faintly, "I heard that."
Henry waved vaguely. "See? Even now. Judgment."
Ulbert tugged him forward again. "Come on. If we're fast, maybe nothing else becomes sentient."
Ulbert yanked open a massive door, the hinges groaning in protest, and shoved Henry inside.
The door slammed shut behind Henry with a solid thunk, followed immediately by at least three separate locking sounds that definitely did not belong to a 'decorative-only' door.
Ulbert's personal room looked less like a workshop and more like a crime scene waiting for permission.
Henry stared at it. "…Ulbert."
"Yes?" Ulbert replied cheerfully, already walking away toward a worktable piled high with props.
"You locked me in."
Ulbert waved a hand. "Temporarily. For science."
"That sentence has never ended well in human history."
Ulbert finally turned, grinning. The room lit up as several purely cosmetic items activated all at once.
He pointed to three items on pedestals, a golden crown inscribed with ancient runes, a grand throne that twitched slightly, as if impatient. And a statue resembling a weeping angel in the next room. Ulbert said, winking. "You're be safe… probably."
Henry muttered under his breath. "I hate that I know you're lying."
Ulbert clapped and gestured toward the crown. "First! The crown. Literary thought enhancement!"
Henry reluctantly put it on. His head felt heavy, and suddenly he was thinking… in metaphors. Really bad metaphors. "Why is my character screen.… writing poetry about a window?"
Ulbert nodded approvingly. "Perfect! You're thinking literature now. Possibly unnecessarily complicated literature."
Henry facepalmed. "This is the worst kind of enhancement." He put down the crown.
Next, Ulbert gestured to the throne. "Please, sit. I promise, nothing will attack you... Maybe."
"WHO DARES SIT UPON MY SEAT OF GLORIOUS EXISTENCE?"
Henry nearly leapt off. "Wah!!! I-I just get told to sit! Blame him not me."
Ulbert clapped happily. "Aha! Standard attack pattern! Non-lethal! Fun! Totally cosmetic!"
Finally, the weeping angel statue in the second room. Henry nudged it with his foot. Nothing. He stepped back. Nothing
Then he blinked, and the anggel getting him scratch a little. Henry yelped. "Oh! Okay! Mildly aggressive! You weren't kidding!" He quickly close the door.
Ulbert laughed. "See? Completely harmless! Attack power, low. Psychological terror, moderate. Fun factor, high."
"Ok I'm done!" Henry shouted. "Momonga end this madness!!"
From the doorway, a familiar skeletal voice echoed. "I heard my name?"
Momonga stepped in, his robes brushing the floor, skull tilted in perfect composure. "Ulbert. You've been… quite thorough."
Ulbert perked up. "Momonga! Perfect timing! Henry is testing the props for me, scientifically, of course."
Momonga's empty eye sockets seemed to bore into Ulbert. "I see. And how exactly is he supposed to survive this scientific testing without, say… losing all sanity?"
Henry clutched his head, the holographic literature panel still hovering beside his screen. "A little late to be asking that question, don't you think?"
Ulbert waved a hand. "Nonsense! All harmless... Mostly. Fun guaranteed!"
Momonga sighed and stepped closer. With a faint gesture, he heal Henry physical and mentally. Henry's head cleared immediately. "Ah, thank you."
The crown, and chair dimmed and pulsed softly. Momonga whispered, "All actions now under the authority of Ainz Ooal Gown. No harm shall come to guild members."
Finally, Momonga turned to the weeping angel statue. It tilted its head and help blinked. Slowly, it froze in place, as if obeying some unspoken authority.
Ulbert pouted. "Hey! That's cheating!"
Momonga's skull tilted. "Cheating or not, you've had created enough chaos for the day."
Ulbert, to his annoyance, was placed in time-out. He sat stiffly, arms crossed, grumbling quietly.
Finally peace, but it will not stay long.