That[1] was sadly the worst period of the year.
Storms came like an unending flow of rain and it was not really a surprise. From what he had learned from Vincent, rain is part of cycle. Water turns to vapor, forming clouds only to fall afterward and be absorbed back in the ground. To turn water into vapor, you would need to heat it over time.
The rest of the explanation was yet to be made clear, but the key part was that the world was now having a rainy season, which, mixed with high temperatures was resulting with countless storms.
A situation that wouldn't affect them if not for the part where the Memory they were residing in was using the outside world's climate and time to give a sensation of reality.
Boom
Tonight was one of those nights.
Leaving the bathroom, dressed in his dark sleepwear and still drying his wet hair, Sunless was wearing a grimace. Not one out of pain but agacement. Because thunder existed. Because even with only a single candle to shyly illuminate the room, she was still visibly shaking.
The strong girl who has kept tormenting him ever since his first waking moment with them was reduced to that. And that thought was enraging. After all, despite their altercation, Nephis wasn't bad or evil. She just wasn't soft compared to what people think children should be. And that was the enraging part.
Because she was forced to endure and numb herself to survive, and the only visible time she was not keeping face was when the wound was too big to be hidden or healed.
In what world should she have to put up with all that?
Where its either numbness or fear? Where she's forcing herself to accept that she will end up alone at the end?
A broken system can only create broken children.
And to say that they wanted to focus on his wellbeing while Nephis was in that state was making him grind his teeth. Doesn't she deserve to be helped too? Or did everyone in there think that she's also a lost cause?
Bo/Boom
[Nephis]:"..."
She was hiding under her blanket, shivering in silence. Trembling even more when Sunless started to move toward. His footsteps sounding like destined menace for her.
It shouldn't.
Since the beginning of the raining season, it had stormed every night. Without exception. It was to the point where Sunless was able see how her expression was getting darker the closer they got to night time. Of course, It also rained during the day, but at that time, it wasn't that oppressive.
Not enough shade to make her doubt her own mind about seeing something moving in the shadows. Enough trusted people around her to not feel as threatened. She was rarely alone after all. Training with Master Theseus, speaking with the matriarch and Jeanne and playing jokes on him.
Only to be left like a broken doll in a destroyed household.
It shouldn't be like that.
BOOM
Hearing her sniffing between silent sobs, it broke something in him seeing her in that state.
[Sunless]:"I'm here, Nephis."
He had tried his best to keep his voice from cracking, only to fail. Because she would confuse his compassion with pity. And she didn't need pity, she needed not to be left alone.
Reaching her bed was like being up close to the damage of a tragedy, one he would never have been able to contain or prevent.
Standing there in silence, Sunless couldn't do more on his side at the moment. Someone who doesn't want to be helped is a lost cause and a waste of time and energy. And everynight, he had to gamble and pray that Nephis would be strong enough to accept his help.
To let him be here for her.
To be for her what Jeanne wa…had been for him.
As he saw the trembling hand sticking out from under the sheets, relief took form as a quiet hushing:
[Sunless]:"thank you…"
Thanking her for leaving him the chance to change what had to be changed. To not be left incapable of doing anything to help. To prevent more harm to her and to him.
Accepting her hand was something slow to do.
After all, fear is easily triggered in those scenarios.
To be so soft that he could be compared to a caress. One's made in hope of appeasing the flame of terror gnawing at her dream and confidence. Because he knew too well how humiliating it was to be reduced to…this state.
So from the caress was born a link.
Her fingers gripping his forearm with so much strength that it would leave behind them bruises. Nothing dangerous. She couldn't control that and he wasn't willing of pointing it out. The pain it inflicted was nothing compared to what he had lived before.
Because it happened everynight.
The bruises had changed color and shapes. Overlapping, one top of the other since she was grabbing him around the same area each time.
Which was also why he had been wearing long sleeves or simply did not warn Vincent of this…situation.
No one knew.
Because neither him or her wanted to talk about it.
Her nails were about to pierce his skin when she simply pulled him toward her. Forced in a trap he refused to resist against. Lost in the darkness, they were alone but still had each other.
[Nephis]:"I'm sorry Sunless… So sorry… I-...just can't…"
Her words were cutting deep. Since when did someone have to feel sorry to be in pain? The marks she kept leaving on his body were proof that she worked hard to overcome her fears. He couldn't hold a grudge against her.
[Nephis]:"You keep coming… You have no reas-"
BO/BOOM
The sobbing came against her will, crushing him in her arms as he could only breathe the smell of her tears. Her body was a machine made for discipline, to remember each lesson to ensure her survival. And fear can be taught.
Stuck in a prison of her own making, she had to force herself to forget that lesson. And the pain that came with it.
[Sunless]:"You would do the same for me Nephis… You have my back, and I have yours."
She was angry at herself to be stuck in that situation.
And Sunless was disgusted by himself. That feeling overtaking his guts, a proudness that shouldn't be here. He was here for her, not to satisfy his own needs or misplaced pride. He shouldn't care about his feelings right now. He shouldn't care about that pride of being able to finally help someone.
Because it still changes nothing. Even now, his failures weren't dealt with.
He kept evading Jeanne.
The same for Plume.
The Matriarch was a dead zone for his mind.
And most importantly, Rain was still outside. Alone. Without him.
How could he feel anything positive right now? He was just doing the bare minimum as a human being. Respecting his mother's teaching and tenderness, so no, he shouldn't feel any proudness by doing something that even a well-trained beast would do.
Being proud would mean that it was an effort to do so. It would give the world a reason not to be good.
An excuse.
It would be an insult toward what they had lived until now.
All that "effort" only to be both stuck in here, held in each others arms like silent promise that tomorrow would be better. And so Vincent's words came back at him. Not all of them but those that resonated with his feeling.
To be full of rage.
To be a monster he tried not be.
Frustration, rage, sadness… all came from injustice.
It wasn't bad it was to achieve his goals.
But what were they ?
To find his sister was the "easy" part.
Because even now, all he could think of was the danger the world had to offer, not its opportunities. People were crying that the Spell was destroying their lives but did it force people to kill other to survive?
Maybe in the Dream Realm but not there.
Some might say that peoples were animals, but even animals weren't evil like that. Even some Nightmare creature wouldn't act like they do. And they shouldn't be able to compare themselves to those at the first place.
The Nightmare Spell is not the cause.
It brings chaos.
But chaos is neutral.
The true problem comes from people. Those same people who took everything for granted if they're not the one to pay the price afterward. Kindness is a right for everyone, but it can also be lost. Legacy and Outskirt shouldn't exist. It was proof that they kept failing. That they had to change their method.
A wish pushed away was reclaimed that night.
To destroy it all.
The gourvenement that failed him and his sister.
The Outskirt that tried to turn him into a slave.
The NQSC all together that forced him to be alone and without help.
The Legacy for taking far too much for themselves.
A meritocracy built by people from the past is forced to be useless. You can work all you want and your childs wouldn't have to do the same. Just for that, the system was broken and it kept making children like him.
Except he got the chance to survive. Unlike all those that died and were forgotten without a name.
Nephis was crying out of fear caused by the flaw named "Humanity". What could prevent Rain from ending up like her? It was so simple…
He had to destroy it.
The world as it is.
Using the Nightmare Spell as a foundation for true equality. Becoming the monster that will kill them all. Nephis' tremor grew only stronger, rain pouring louder against the window. And each time she tried to calm herself in vain was a push for him to hate everything even more.
[Sunless]:"Nephis… I'm afraid."
That was like a wake-up call for her, as if her mind had to focus on something primal. He couldn't miss it, the tension in her body switching to be as soft as possible. Turning her hug of fear into an embrace of gentleness.
The trembling was still here and she was unable to say a word either.
But she simply tried her best to push past it.
[Sunless]:"I'm angry… So hateful that if you asked me to kill someone, I would have done it. I feel like I'm lost. I want to be gentle, caring but also wish to feel their guts twitching betweens my fingers."
[Nephis]:"... Thei… Their? Who..?"
[Sunless]:"Those who tried to kill the both of us. Betrayed us. Lied to us. Wronged us. You, me and every other children who cried or died. But it would make me a monster… And monster are hunted."
Still in the dark, lost under the sheets, a movement was made. Two calloused hands tried to reach for the boy's face. She was over him, in a position where death could be on him in any instant. And still, he didn't move.
Because the seal was unmade and light came to them.
The blanket, under the movement, had failed to cover them entirely. Stopping itself around the middle of her back. Darkness was overwhelming. And still, her eyes shone to him.
Silver watching over Onyx.
Fear there was, but also… determination. Strength and courage.
[Nephis]:"You said it earlier. You have my back, and I've yours. If you have to become a monster, then be mine. And I'll be your monster too. No matter the distance, the time… You'll find me and I'll find you. So do-…"
BO/BO/BOOM
Three thunderclaps.
Three shivers.
And yet her eyes kept her undying resolve.
[Nephis]:"..don't hesitate…-breath- To ask for my help, okay? Even… no, especially for something stupid. I kept and will be asking you to come to me so I could hug you because thoses damned thunders are scaring me. I could have just asked Jeanne or Grandma for their help… I didn't. You can't be stupider than me right now."
Multiple emotion reflected in his eyes, all in the flash of an instant.
None mattered as residuals tears kept rolling on her cheeks, the fear was still there.
And yet, she forced herself to act despite that.
'It's okay to fail but it's not okay to never try at all'
Her dark hair contrasted with her jewel-like eyes through the tears. Hate grew stronger only to be used to grow something else. Something so innocent and yet sincere that the impossible happened.
Trust.
Genuine trust.
The kind you wouldn't even trade against your dream if it were handed on a plate for you.
[Sunless]:"Then… Can I ask for something…?"
[Nephis]:"Anything."
Without a word, the two children then returned to their position to fight this unending battle against the sky itself. In an embrace where darkness reigned, a lone crow dared to ask a clouded star for help as sleep took over them.
Blind rage was turned into loyalty and from loyalty birthed possibilities.
Because no one can survive alone in this world…
And so bounds shall be remade stronger.
[1] Tbh, I was struggling a lot with the follow-up of the last chapter. I didn't know how or what to write, so... I let it write itself and that's about 95% of today's chapter. I didn't know that the story could go that way but it seems like it does. Still, I like this chapter and I hope you'll like it too. Music used for ambiance:"Gehrman, The First Hunter" Bloodborne OST and "Liquid Smooth (Lumatone Version)"