"What do you mean, you're dead?! Are you kidding me?!" Megumi shouted, his voice echoing across the endless expanse of the blinding white void in disbelief.
"I don't know, dude!" Rei wailed, throwing his hands up in the air out of sheer panic. "Getting hit in the head by that flying object was the absolute last memory I have! After you guys logged out last time, I wanted to go back to my world too, but to my utter horror, the moment I tried to step out, it was just... pitch-black nothingness!"
Rei collapsed onto his knees, grabbing his hair in existential agony.
"I couldn't move! I couldn't talk! I couldn't walk! I couldn't even go to the bathroom! It was total sensory deprivation!" Rei was practically tearing up at this point, his voice cracking. "Dude... I didn't even get a chance to touch Tsunade's two massive, heavenly treasures yet! I refuse to accept this! I am NOT reconciled with my fate!"
Megumi had been about to feel a genuine wave of sympathy for his multiversal soulmate, but upon hearing the second half of that sentence, his forehead twitched violently.
"You fucking degenerate pervert!" Megumi roared, his face twisting in disgust. "You're literally sitting here thinking you're DEAD, and your biggest regret is that you didn't get to grope a woman?!"
"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" Rei screamed right back, jumping up and pointing a trembling finger at Megumi's face. "I'm ALREADY DEAD! What else do you expect me to think about?! That WAS the biggest regret of my life! Those two glorious mountains were right there! SO close! I tried so hard, and got so far... but in the end, it doesn't even matter!"
Megumi stared at him deadpan for three solid seconds. "Okay, first of all, stop rapping in the middle of a mental breakdown. Second of all, we need to actually figure something out."
Megumi rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on. "If you're stuck in soul form here, our only option might be to wait until some absurdly overpowered guy joins our soul hub in the future—someone who can manipulate souls directly or resurrect dead bodies."
Rei's face turned completely pale. "Fuck... so you're saying I have to wait forever?! How many people in the entire multiverse even have powers like that?! I can only think of some crazy, high-tier mutant from a Marvel comic or something!"
FLASH!
Before Megumi could reply, a sudden, brilliant pillar of white light flared up in the center of the void.
As the light faded, the sleek, familiar figure of Kevin materialized, stretching his arms casually as he logged into the white space.
The moment Rei saw Kevin, his eyes lit up like he had just seen an angel descending from the heavens.
"KEVIN! MY BROTHER! MY SAVIOR!"
ZIP!
Rei didn't even bother walking. He leaped through the air and wrapped his arms and legs tightly around Kevin's waist, clinging to him like a frantic koala bear.
"WHOA! WHAT THE—!" Kevin stumbled back, his eyes widening in complete shock as he tried to pry the frantic kid off his body. "Dude! What the hell are you doing?! Get off me, you bastard! I don't swing that way!"
"Kevin, buddy, you HAVE to save me!" Rei sobbed, burying his face into Kevin's shoulder while holding on for dear life. "I'm dead! I'm a ghost! You have to get Ghostfreak's DNA! You're a literal ghost expert! Save my soul, man!"
Kevin groaned, forcibly grabbing Rei by the back of his collar and yanking him off like a stubborn leech before dropping him flat onto the floor.
"Calm down and stop screaming," Kevin grunted, dusting off his shirt. "So... you're saying you think you're dead?"
"I don't think, I'm pretty sure!" Rei whimpered from the floor.
"I don't think that's the case at all," Kevin said, shaking his head calmly. "You guys don't know this because you joined after me, but you aren't the first person to get in this space. Before either of you arrived, there used to be another guy here from the Bleach universe."
"WHAT?!"
Both Megumi and Rei shouted in unison, their eyes widening in shock.
"There was another guy before us?!" Rei asked frantically, scrambling back to his feet. "What happened to him?! Did he pass on?! Did he escape?!"
Kevin's face twitched slightly, a look of deep secondhand embarrassment crossing his features. "As you can probably guess... he died."
"How?!" Megumi asked, stepping closer. "Was he weak?"
"Far from it," Kevin sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Let me explain. That guy was a Soul Reaper in the Soul Society. His Zanpakuto was probably one of the most absurd, broken abilities I've ever heard of. Its primary power was Absolute Perfected Transformation."
Rei tilted his head. "Transformation? Like the Transformation Jutsu?"
"Way worse," Kevin replied grimly. "He could transform into literally anyone—perfectly copying their physical body, their voice, their spiritual signature, their innate powers, their memories, and even the fundamental essence of their soul. It was a flawless copy."
"WTF?!" Megumi gasped, his jaw practically dropping to the floor. "That sounds utterly broken! How the hell did a guy with a power like that get killed?! Did Aizen pull a sneak attack on him?! Or did Yhwach use Almighty to rewrite his future?!"
Kevin's eye twitched aggressively as old, cursed memories resurfaced in his mind.
"No..." Kevin muttered, his voice dropping an octave. "None of the above. The entire Bleach verse jumped him. Simultaneously. No exaggeration."
Rei blinked, utterly bewildered. "Dude... what the hell did he do?! Did he try to assassinate the Soul King or something?!"
"No... something infinitely worse," Kevin said, taking a deep breath as if mentally preparing himself to say the words out loud. "He used his Zanpakuto's shape-shifting powers to... sleep with every single woman in the entire Bleach universe."
Silence.
Absolute, suffocating, dead silence descended upon the white void.
Megumi's mind completely stalled. Rei's jaw hit the floor so hard it nearly cracked the white pavement.
"He didn't just target one realm either," Kevin continued, his voice echoing solemnly. "He went on a total, unrestricted NTR rampage across all three worlds. He transformed into Sosuke Aizen to sleep with Tier Harribel and Momo Hinamori. He transformed into Kisuke Urahara to sleep with Yoruichi Shihoin. He transformed into Yhwach to sleep with all the female Sternritter in the Wandenreich! Soul Society, Hueco Mundo, the Human World... captains, Arrancar, Quincies, humans... he swept through everyone."
Kevin rubbed the bridge of his nose, letting out a heavy, exhausted sigh. "Just saying it out loud makes me feel dirty. I consider myself a bit of a degenerate, but that guy... you couldn't even classify him as human anymore. He was a cosmic menace."
"WTF..." Megumi whispered, staring into the blank void as his brain tried to process the sheer scale of the absurdity.
"WTF?!" Rei shrieked, clutching his head. "Are you serious, dude?! Listening to you talk about him, it doesn't sound like he was in a Shonen battle manga about brotherhood, courage, and friendship! It sounds like he was the main character of a multi-chapter, high-budget NTR hentai series!"
Yet, despite the absolute horror of the story, a small, dark, tiny spark of subconscious, degenerate respect flared up deep within the chest of both Megumi and Rei.
Wait... that mf was kind of legendary... they both thought simultaneously.
Of course, a fraction of a second later, both of them vigorously shook their heads, frantically denying the thought in their minds.
No, no, no! Absolutely not! We cannot associate ourselves with that villain!
"And you know what the crazy part was?" Kevin added, a faint, amused smirk breaking through his grim expression. "When his secret finally got exposed and the entire universe united to jump him—we're talking Aizen, Yhwach, Yamamoto, and Ichigo all standing side-by-side in pure rage—that guy didn't even cry or beg."
"What did he do?" Rei asked, leaning in despite himself.
"He just stood there facing a barrage of universe-destroying attacks, smiled lazily, and said: 'Thank you for the meal!' before getting utterly atomized into nonexistence. They didn't even leave behind any ashes."
Megumi let out a slow whistle. "Damn. What a monster."
"Anyway," Kevin brought his hand down, steering the conversation back on track. "Here's the main point. When that guy got completely erased from his world... his Zanpakuto powers immediately vanished from our shared soul network here in the white space."
Rei stopped panicking, his eyes focusing on Kevin. "Wait... vanished?"
"Yeah," Kevin nodded firmly. "That's how I figured out one of the fundamental rules of this space. You can only share and use an ability if the original soul host is still alive in their universe. The moment you die, your baseline soul link snaps, and your powers disappear from the hub."
Kevin turned his head, pointing a finger directly at Rei's chest.
"You haven't vanished, Rei. Furthermore, both Megumi and I can still use Chakra. As you know, Chakra requires physical stamina—which is produced by the living cells in a physical body. A normal human soul cannot generate physical Chakra without a living body attached to it."
Kevin smirked, folding his arms across his chest.
"So, congratulations, buddy. You're definitely not dead. At worst... you're just lying in a hospital bed in a hospital in a deep, cozy coma."
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