Rei slowly cracked his eyelids open.
"AGH!"
The blinding glare of the afternoon sun streaming through the hospital window hit his pupils like a flashbang. He instantly slammed his eyes shut again, his face twisting into a grimace as he raised a trembling hand to shield his face.
"Fuck... my eyes..." Rei groaned out loud. His throat felt completely parched, his voice coming out as a dry, scratchy raspy croak.
He took a moment to mentally scan his physical condition. His entire body felt stiff, his muscles aching from the sheer stagnation of lying motionless in a bed for twenty days straight. But besides the obvious muscular fatigue, there was zero lingering neurological damage. No paralysis, no brain fog, no internal hemorrhaging—nothing. The Round Deer's positive energy had completely restored his biological functions from the inside out.
After a few seconds of blinking rapidly, his vision finally began to adjust to the light.
The first thing he saw was a sterile, white plaster ceiling.
Fuck... white ceiling again?! Rei thought, panic briefly spiking in his chest. Did I get kicked back to the soul hub already?!
Fortunately, as he tilted his head to the side, he recognized the familiar wooden cabinets, intravenous stands, and medical scrolls resting on the side tables. He was inside a private room at Konoha General Hospital.
Then, he turned his gaze toward the center of the room and froze.
Standing right beside his bed was the colossal, majestic silhouette of the four-eyed Round Deer. Its massive antlers brushed gently against the ceiling, and its four white eyes stared down at him with a calm, ancient serenity.
Rei's face instantly lit up with pure, unadulterated joy.
Holy shit, it actually worked! Rei screamed internally, his soul practically doing backflips of delight. I'm saved! I'm fucking saved!
He let out a long, dramatic sigh of relief, staring up at his ceiling with tears of emotional validation welling in his eyes.
I knew it! In this cold, brutal, filler-episode-infested ninja world, the only person you can truly rely on is yourself! Everyone else is a piece of shit! Rei wiped a tear from the corner of his eye, adding a mental apology to his alter-egos: Sorry, myself... I can't believe I ever doubted us! We really are geniuses!
"R-Rei...?"
A soft, trembling, heavily emotional voice suddenly broke his internal celebration.
Rei snapped out of his monologue and turned his head toward the foot of the bed. Tsunade was standing there, frozen in place. Her golden hair was disheveled, her dark-circled hazel eyes were wide with utter shock, and tears were already welling up along her lower eyelids.
Rei offered her a lazy, crooked smirk, waving his hand weakly. "Yo, Tsunade. Long time no see."
Before he could even register her movement, Tsunade dashed forward in a blur.
WHOOSH!
"GUHK—!"
Rei's breath was violently purged from his lungs as Tsunade threw her arms around him, pulling his upper body violently off the mattress and burying his face directly into her chest.
Instantly, his vision was completely cut off by two unbelievably soft, gigantic, bouncy clouds, while a faint scent of fresh milk, lavender, and medicinal herbs completely overwhelmed his nose.
Whoa... unexpected divine bonus! Rei thought, his cheek pressed firmly into the squishy softness.
He wasn't about to complain about getting smothered by the legendary Sannin's massive chest, but as he lay there, he felt Tsunade's entire frame trembling against his own. Soft, silent sobs echoed from her throat, and he felt warm tears dripping onto his back.
She was actually crying. Like, genuinely crying.
Rei blinked, a strange, complex feeling settling in his stomach.
Sure, he considered Tsunade a good friend—mainly because he had watched Naruto in his previous life and had a massive crush on her character—but did he really hold such a massive place in her heart already? They had only known each other for a few months! Most of their time spent together consisted of eating cheap ramen, drinking sake, and him mercilessly scammed-gambling her out of her pocket money.
Well... whatever, Rei grinned mentally, enjoying the feeling of her soft embrace. The more she cares about me now, the infinitely easier it's going to be to pull her into my harem later! Everything is going according to plan!
"Hey..." Rei muffled out against her chest, his voice vibrating softly. "I didn't know you cared about me this much, Lady Tsunade. Were you really that terrified of losing your favorite gambling buddy?"
Tsunade let out a shaky, wet laugh. She slowly pulled back, gripping his shoulders tightly as she wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve.
"Yeah, you arrogant brat..." Tsunade muttered, her cheeks flushing slightly from embarrassment as she tried to regain her usual tough exterior. "I was terrified. Without you around, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to win a single gamble for the rest of my life."
As Tsunade released him, Rei felt a sudden, distinct sensation of empty disappointment in his chest as the heavenly warmth retreated.
He cleared his throat, throwing off the bedsheets with a smug grin. "Alright then! Since I'm wide awake, let me get dressed so we can go hit the dice tables and gamble to our hearts' content!"
"You utter bastard!" Tsunade barked, her hand slapping his shoulder—though with zero chakra behind it this time. "Lie back down and rest! You've been in a deep coma for nearly three weeks! I'm going to inform your grandparents first; the old couple has been worried sick about you."
"Nah, I'm completely fine," Rei said casually, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and planting his feet firmly onto the cold wooden floor.
Tsunade crossed her arms, her brow furrowing in irritation. "Excuse me? Do you seriously think you know your medical condition better than me?!"
Rei looked her straight in the eye without flinching. "Yup."
"WHAT?!" Tsunade's jaw dropped in disbelief at his audacity.
"My body is 100% healed, and it's all thanks to this big guy right here," Rei explained smoothly, slapping his hand against the side of the Round Deer's massive, fur-covered leg.
Tsunade snapped back to reality. Her head whipped around to look at the towering, four-eyed beast standing in the center of the room. In her emotional haze over Rei waking up, she had completely forgotten about the terrifying ten-meter monster that had just materialized out of thin air!
"Right... what the absolute hell IS this thing?!" Tsunade demanded, stepping closer to examine the deer with a sharp gaze. "Did you awaken some kind of bizarre, dormant Kekkei Genkai while you were unconscious?!"
"Yeah, pretty much," Rei lied without dropping a beat. "I decided to call it the Ten Shadows Technique. As the name suggests, it allows me to manipulate shadows to summon ten distinct shadow beasts, each constructed from a blend of Yin and Yang properties, possessing unique abilities."
Rei pointed a thumb toward the Round Deer. "This big guy here is the Round Deer. Its main ability is taking raw Yin energy, multiplying negative Yin energy against negative Yin energy, which in turn generates pure, concentrated Yang energy. That positive energy can instantly heal any injury or tissue damage."
In reality, Rei didn't give a damn about revealing the details of the Ten Shadows Technique to Tsunade or anyone else in Konoha.
His true, ultimate trump card in this world was his Osmosian absorption ability! Allowing information about the Ten Shadows to leak out to the ninja world was actually the smoke screen.
Just imagine the hilarious scene in the future, Rei thought, holding back a sinister grin. Some enemy ninja works tirelessly to devise a complex strategy to counter my Ten Shadows. They finally beat Mahoraga after a brutal fight, thinking they've cornered a defenseless summoner... and then, SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER! I split into 40 clones, each possessing Mahoraga's physical strength and total adaptation traits! They'll lose their minds!
While he was internally laughing at his future enemies, Rei also tried to test out a specific concept. He tried to see if "Revealing One's Hand"—the JJK Binding Vow mechanic that boosts a technique's effectiveness when you explain its rules to an opponent—would trigger in the Naruto world.
He focused on his Cursed Energy pool, but... nothing happened. No sudden spike in output, no efficiency boost.
Rei sighed mentally. Yup, Kevin was right. World rules don't automatically carry over across dimensions. Only the original owner can make it stronger.
While Rei was lost in thought, Tsunade was staring at him with a deeply baffled expression.
"Wait a second..." Tsunade said, rubbing her temples as her forehead creased. "Why the hell does your technique go through such an overly complicated, roundabout way?! Multiplying negative Yin with negative Yin to make positive Yang?! Why can't the stupid deer just output Yang energy directly?!"
Rei's mouth twitched violently.
He stared at Tsuande in sheer disbelief. Is THAT really the part you're focusing on right now, woman?! Shouldn't you be asking about the other nine shadow beasts?! Or how a random kid unlocked a god-tier shadow bloodline out of nowhere?! Why are you complaining about the mathematical physics of my fake Yin-Yang conversion?!
Since Tsunade was a world-class medical ninja, her mind naturally gravitated toward the logic behind the deer's miraculous healing ability.
Because Rei had completely pulled the "Yin x Yin = Yang" concept out of his ass on the spot to cover up the existence of Reverse Cursed Energy, he quickly decided to stack another smooth, confident lie on top of it.
Rei cleared his throat, crossing his arms with a mysterious, smug expression.
"Well, you see... because this special Yang energy is artificially converted from pure, spiritual Yin energy..." Rei declared dramatically, "it doesn't just heal physical flesh and organs... it possesses the unique property to heal injuries inflicted directly upon the human soul as well!"
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