"WTF did you just say?!"
Just as the Third Hokage reached the ground floor of the hospital, another ANBU operative materialized out of the shadows, whispering a rapid, updated report directly into his ear.
"It is completely true, Lord Hokage," the ANBU replied, his voice completely deadpan despite the insanity of the information he was delivering. "The civilian-born patient, Rei, awakened an unknown bloodline limit while still inside his comatose state. He manifested a ten-meter-tall divine beast, which subsequently fully restored his health."
Hiruzen's pipe nearly slipped straight out of his mouth. His facial muscles twitched so violently that his wrinkled cheek began to spasm.
What the absolute fuck did I just hear?! Hiruzen thought, his brain completely stalling out. How can a kid be this utterly outrageous?!
In his decades of leading the Hidden Leaf Village and fighting through multiple World War eras, Hiruzen had seen his fair share of absurd bloodline limits. Even the legendary Wood Release used by the First Hokage, Hashirama Senju, was a world-shattering power capable of taming Tailed Beasts. Hiruzen could accept bloodlines being overpowered. That was just genetic lottery luck.
But what in God's name was this situation?!
Awakening a dormant bloodline while trapped inside a coma, intuitively figuring out how to construct a specific ten-meter shadow entity, and using it to heal himself?!
The fact that Rei possessed a bloodline limit didn't shock Hiruzen anywhere near as much as the fact that he successfully harnessed it while completely unconscious!
You had to understand—even the God of Shinobi himself, Hashirama Senju, had to train for countless arduous years as a child to properly master Wood Release! Nobody just awakens a brand-new bloodline ability and instantly possesses an instruction manual in their head on how to manipulate it step-by-step!
Furthermore, Rei hadn't even been in the Academy's yet!
How ridiculously is this kid's talent?!
Hiruzen's mind immediately shifted into overdrive, discarding his original plan like a piece of trash.
Previously, Hiruzen had viewed the entire situation through a very simple, pragmatic lens. His plan was to walk into the hospital room, flash a warm, grandfatherly smile, offer little Rei some cheap candy and a couple of toy kunai, and leverage his authority as Hokage to get the civilian kid to drop the issue. Sure, the kid might grow up to slightly dislike him or Jiraiya down the road, but what did Hiruzen care if a random civilian kid held a tiny grudge? As long as it appeased Tsunade's immediate guilt and brought her back, it was a sacrifice he was more than willing to make.
On one side of the scale sat Jiraiya—a master ninja who had contracted with one of the Three Great Unexplored Sage Lands, would possess Shadow-rank combat potential in the future, and would serve as a foundational pillar of Konoha's military force. On the other side sat a talentless civilian brat. It wasn't even a choice!
...Except now, the math had completely flipped.
If Rei was able to accomplish something this preposterous while literally asleep, what would happen once he received formal shinobi training?! If he grew up safely under proper guidance, his potential was virtually limitless! He wouldn't just match Jiraiya—he had the potential to utterly surpass him!
Hiruzen squeezed the bridge of his nose, feeling the biggest headache of his career brewing behind his eyes. This might actually be the single most difficult political choice of my entire life...
He quickly shook his head, taking a deep breath to compose himself. No. Before I make any drastic decisions regarding how to handle Jiraiya and Tsunade, I need to see this bloodline with my own two eyes.
Ascending to the top floor of the hospital, Hiruzen stopped right outside Rei's private ICU suite.
He raised his hand and knocked politely on the heavy wooden door.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Silence. Nobody answered.
Puzzled, Hiruzen leaned his head closer to the door, pressing his ear against the wood to listen.
"...No way in hell!" Tsunade's loud, assertive voice echoed from inside. "I am taking this as official medical payment for staying up twenty days straight treating your ungrateful ass!"
"Hah?! We don't lack money at all!" Rei's fiery, childish voice shouted right back. "Why the hell would I give you Snow?! And whose damn fault was it that I got hit on the head and ended up in a coma in the first place?!"
"FUCK!" Tsunade yelled, sounding exasperated. "How many times do I have to apologize to you for that?!"
Outside in the hallway, Hiruzen's eyes lit up with sudden, joyful realization.
Wait a minute! Are Rei and Tsunade actually fighting because he's blaming her for his injuries?!
A wave of relief washed over Hiruzen's heart. If Rei was channeling his anger toward Tsunade for dragging him to the casino district, then Tsunade's anger was no longer exclusively focused on Jiraiya! That meant the internal crisis might solve itself without Hiruzen having to pick a side at all!
Eager to capitalize on this argument and play the benevolent mediator, Hiruzen slid the door open. "Pardon the intrusion—"
The moment the door slid open, Hiruzen's entire body froze. His jaw dropped, and his pipe practically hovered in mid-air as his brain completely rejected the scene playing out before his eyes.
There was no bitter, dramatic argument about trauma or medical bills.
Instead, Tsunade was down on her knees on the floorboards, her massive arms wrapped in a fierce, desperate headlock around the neck of a giant, unbelievably fluffy, white wolf-dog. The creature—Divine Dog White—was flailing its paws wildly in the air, its tongue hanging out as it let out whimpering, suffocated noises.
Meanwhile, Rei was planted firmly behind the dog, grabbing its hind legs with both hands and pulling backward with all his tiny might like a competitive game of tug-of-war.
"Let go of him, you crazy woman!" Rei yelled, his face turning red from exertion. "You're suffocating him!"
"I'm not letting go! He's so damn soft!" Tsunade shouted back, burying her face into the wolf's thick white fur like a giant stuffed animal. "You have a black one anyway! Give me this one!"
Hiruzen stood in the doorway, staring at the chaotic wrestling match in dead, baffled silence.
Realizing that neither of them had even registered his entrance because they were too busy wrestling over a giant canine, Hiruzen slowly shuffled over to the corner of the room, where a young hospital nurse was standing against the wall, trembling like a leaf.
Hiruzen leaned in, keeping his voice low. "...Nurse. What in the name of the First Hokage is happening here?"
"O-Oh! Lord Hokage!" The nurse gasped, quickly bowing her head in panic. "S-Sir, it's like this... This large white wolf is another one of the shadow beasts that young Rei can summon. The moment Lady Tsunade saw it for the first time, she completely fell in love with how soft its fur was. And after learning he can summon a second, identical black wolf, she immediately tried to claim the white one as her personal pet..."
Listening to the nurse's frantic explanation, Hiruzen's mouth twitched uncontrollably.
All of his calculations instantly shattered into a million embarrassing pieces.
Hiruzen let out a long, heavy sigh, placing his hand over his face. He cleared his throat loudly, projecting his voice across the room.
"AHEM!"
Hiruzen glared at his star pupil, his voice dripping with sheer exasperation. "Tsunade! Why the hell are you rolling around on the floor fighting a child over a dog?!"
Hearing the booming voice, the wrestling match instantly ground to a halt.
Still holding onto opposite ends of the suffocating, wide-eyed Divine Dog, both Tsunade and Rei turned their heads simultaneously to glare at him.
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