In a world plagued by darkness, one chosen Hero shall rise to restore the light! That Hero is you!
[The Hero goes on all fours and starts licking a rock]
Ahh, who the hell am I kidding? I asked for a Hero, and they sent me… this thing. They might as well have sent over a dog!
[He looks up to the Guide, as he starts to whimper with teary eyes]
Stop it.
[He keeps going. This time, balling his eyes out]
Hahhh… Fine, I'm sorry for being mean, Hero.
Just kill that slime, will you?
[The Hero stands up and holds his sword out in a ready position to strike the slime. The sun glints down onto the blade as the wind whips his cape]
That's it, Hero! Just one clean strike.
[The Hero jumps high, sword raised. Time seems to stop for a moment… as he falls face first right into the slime]
[The Hero stumbles back, wiping the sludge off his face, and glares at the Guide]
…
Why did I have any hope in you actually doing it?
[The slime jiggles mockingly and slaps the Hero across the face with a blob-like arm before bouncing away into the dense forest]
[The Hero stands up and looks at the Guide with a proud "I did well" look]
Just try again, you big buffoon.
Follow the slime and- careful, careful! Don't trip on literally every root in existence!
[Despite the Guide's warning, the Hero trips over yet another root]
[As the Hero approaches the same slime once again, he actually manages to get a hit in, which does absolutely nothing to the slime, who just giggles in glee]
That damn slime is getting on my nerves!!!
[As the slime bounces away once again, the Hero waves goodbye to it]
Don't bid it farewell! It's a monster! Can't you imagine the atrocities it has done? Oh, my mind can't even imagine it…
Hahhh… look, let's first go to a village to get you better gear, then maybe you can finally take that slime down.
Here. Take this map and go west. There you'll find Gorendight village.
[A glowing map appears right in front of the Hero]
Grab it.
[His eyes go wide at the sprawling network of forests, villages, and mountains]
Focus, Hero. Focus.
[After an hour of stumbling through the woods, the Hero, covered in leaves and sticks, finally comes upon a path]
Ah ha! Finally, we're getting somewhere.
[It was a simple gravel trail, encased by old oak trees at the sides. Marked by a lone weathered stone with a strange symbol]
This path should lead us straight to Gorendight village. Quick, Hero, let's go there before sundown.
[As the Hero walks along the path, he recognizes a familiar shape bouncing in the distance]
There's that slime again! What do you want to do, Hero? You want to take another shot at it?
[He nods excitedly and runs towards the slime]
Alright, that's the spirit! Remember: steady stance, clean swing, and-
[The Hero trips mid-charge, tumbling forward like a boulder rolling downhill. His sword flies out of his hands, spinning through the air before plunging straight into the slime's core]
…
He did it. He actually did it.
You did it, Hero! You killed your first monster!!!
[He jumps and dances in celebration as if he's just slain a dragon]
I was not expecting it, but nevertheless, color me surprised.
Go see what it dropped.
[The Hero trots over to the dead corpse and pokes it with the tip of his sword]
[He digs around for a bit and lifts something out of the green goop]
A button???
What use is a button to us?
[The Hero looks at it with gleaming eyes and holds it up like a legendary artifact]
Well… whatever makes you happy, I guess.
Let's keep going on our journey.
[The Guide and the Hero continue down the path. The sun sets fast, painting the world in shades of gold and crimson. Whilst the Hero walks with his chest puffed out, proudly clutching the button he has acquired]
Ah yes, the mighty champion of light, striding into the twighlight with… a button. Truly, legends will sing of this moment.
[The Hero suddenly stops, sniffing the air like a hunting dog]
Wha- what are you doing?
[He drops to all fours and starts crawling along the ground, nose pressed to the dirt, following some mysterious scent]
Uhh, ok…
[The Guide trails after the Hero, slowing as they come upon a burning wagon by the roadside]
[The flames crackle, casting long shadows across the trees. The wagon's wheels are half-melted, and smoke billows up into the sky]
What happened here? Looks like someone got into trouble.
[Suddenly, a ruffling comes from the nearby bushes. Leaves shake violently, and twigs snap underfoot]
Hero, draw your sword and be ready!
[The Hero yanks his sword from its scabbard a little too forcefully, flinging it toward the bush that had been rustling]
[With a startled yelp, a dwarf tumbles out from the bush]
A dwarf… What were you doing in there?
[The dwarf dusts himself off as he looks at both of us with an angry look before hiding behind a rock next to the Guide and Hero]
"Quick, you two, hurry! They could be back any moment now."
[The dwarf drags them both behind a rock as the path ahead fills with the growls and footsteps of approaching monsters]
[The Hero and Guide peek behind the rock]
Goblins…
[At the sight of the monsters, the Hero snatches his sword from the shrub and charges to fight]
Hey, wait up, Hero! Don't do something so rash!
"What the hell is your friend doing?!"
[He charges in and swings at one of the goblins, killing it in one blow]
[The Guide looks at the Hero with surprise]
[He swings his sword at a goblin once more, but this time, not so lucky, as the sword bounces off the goblin's chestplate and slips out of his hands]
Aaannnddd… we're dead.
Let's run. Take the dwarf with us.
[The Hero picks up his sword and hauls the dwarf, putting him over his shoulder as the three bolt away from the hungry mob of goblins]
"They're on our butts, laddies. Might wanna pick up the pace here!"
We're doing our best. How about you just enjoy the ride!
[The three do their best at dodging rocks and spears being thrown from the goblins]
[Unluckily, the Hero trips over a root, falling straight into the dirt, the dwarf being flung far into the bushes]
Oh, now is not the time for this, Hero! Get the hell up!
Get up!!!
[The Hero scrambles, hands and knees sliding through the dirt, sword forgotten and button clutched tightly to his chest like a life preserver]
Fight, will ya!!!
[He finally stands, staggering a little, and immediately points his sword in the wrong direction]
BEHIND YOU!
[The Hero spins around just in time to see a goblin mid-leap, fangs bared and spear raised]
[He flails his sword in pure panic. No stance, no control, just wild, terrified thrashing. By some miracle, the blade smacks straight into the goblin's spear, snapping it in half. The goblin blinks in confusion before the Hero's sword bonks it square on the head, sending it tumbling back into its friends]
"Woah, that was cool"
[The remaining goblins hesitate, growling nervously at the unexpected display. The dwarf peeks out from the bushes, eyes wide]
"Ha! The lad's got some fight in him after all!"
No. No, he doesn't. That was luck! Sheer, dumb luck!
[The Hero sneezes, accidentally hurling his sword forward. It spins through the air and impales another goblin]
[The goblins freeze, staring at their fallen comrade pinned to the tree. A tense silence fills the air, broken only by the Hero sniffling]
…Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
[The goblins look at each other, then back at the Hero, who's standing there wiping his nose with his sleeve, completely unaware he's just ended their leader]
[One by one, the goblins start backing away. Then another sneeze ~ACHOO!~ and they bolt into the forest, screeching in terror]
Wait, what? Are they actually running?
[The dwarf climbs out from the bushes, staring in disbelief before bursting into laughter]
"By the stones, that was beautiful! You've scared the snot outta them, lad!"
[The Hero looks down at his sword stuck in the tree, tilts his head, and gives a little shrug as if this sort of thing happens all the time]
This is unbelievable. I swear, is someone playing a joke on me?
Well… Hahhh, let's just continue on our journey. Come, Hero, let's go. Oh, dwarf, you coming?
[The dwarf looks at the mechanical droid flying in the air]
"It isn't dwarf, it's Brunk. Also, thank you. both of you thank you. for what you did back there, I really thought I was done for!"
"The greatest Blacksmith in all of Corles dying to a bunch of measly goblins! It's weird, they normally don't leave their territory…"
~Thunk!~
[An arrow flies out from the darkness and hits the Hero square in the chest. He blinks once, looks down at it, then slowly keels over face-first into the dirt]
…
…You've got to be kidding me.