by Viviana videos
You know when adults used to tell us, "Enjoy school while it lasts"?
Yeah. I want to find every single one of those adults, hand them my bills, my back pain, and a half-empty jar of instant coffee, and say: "Enjoy this"
Because nobody told me that high school wasn't preparation for the real world. It was a trial version—one that expired the moment we graduated.
So let's begin.
1"You'll Use Algebra in Real Life."
They lied.
Boldly. Without shame.
I remember Mr. Peterson standing there, chalk in hand, saying, "You'll need this one day".
No, sir. The only thing I've needed to solve for is why my salary disappears before the 10th.
"Find X," he said.
There it is, on my pay stub, gone.
When I order food, I'm not calculating simultaneous equations. I'm calculating emotional stability versus calories.
And the day someone actually tried to convince me that calculating compound interest was "just like algebra," I almost started a civil war in that office.
2"Group Work Builds Teamwork."
What it actually builds is a deep understanding of betrayal.
There's always that one person who's like, "Let's divide the work equally"
Translation: "I'll disappear for three weeks and reappear during the presentation wearing confidence and lies"
In every group, you have:
The Project Manager who does everything.
The Ghost, whose only contribution is their name on the slides.
The Loud Philosopher, who speaks for ten minutes but contributes nothing measurable.
And the Peacekeeper, who keeps saying, "Let's not fight," while secretly planning revenge.
Teamwork, my foot. Group work taught me to distrust human beings and to always have screenshots as evidence.
3"The Mitochondria Is the Powerhouse of the Cell"
They made us chant that like a prayer.
Every exam, every quiz—"What's the powerhouse of the cell?"
Mitochondria. Always mitochondria.
I could forget my birthday, but not that.
But nobody told me what the powerhouse of my wallet was supposed to be. Nobody said, "Vivian, here's how rent works, here's how to fix your credit"
Instead, we were out here coloring diagrams of cells while adulthood waited around the corner like, "Surprise! You owe the bank money!"
I once told my teacher, "Can we learn about taxes?" She said, "That's not in the curriculum."
Oh, but chloroplasts are?
Chloroplasts don't pay rent, ma'am.
4 "School Prepares You for the Real World"
If school prepared me for the real world, then why did I panic the first time I had to call the doctor's office to book an appointment?
They made us memorize Shakespeare, not how to write an email without sounding like a desperate hostage.
They taught us that being five minutes late was failure—but never taught us how to function on five hours of sleep and caffeine fumes.
They said "be punctual." They didn't say, "Your job interview will be virtual, and your internet will betray you right as you say hello"
The real world doesn't have a syllabus, no grades, no warning before the pop quiz called Life Happens.
If school was truly preparation, we'd have "Adulting 101" instead of "Geometry for No Reason."
5"Teachers Know Everything"
No, they don't. And I say this with love.
Half of them were Googling answers faster than we were.
One time, my biology teacher said, "Don't quote Wikipedia; it's unreliable"
Two hours later, she printed an assignment straight from Wikipedia. I saw the citation.
Another time, my math teacher told us calculators were banned because "you won't always have one"
Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson? I have one in my phone, my watch, and my fridge.
They meant well, but let's be honest—half of what they said was pure survival improvisation.
They were just tired adults teaching tired teenagers about numbers that didn't matter and wars we never started.
*******
6"You'll Miss School When It's Over."
They said that with the confidence of people who never paid rent.
Sure, I miss seeing my friends every day. I don't miss group assignments, cafeteria "mystery meat," or pretending to understand physics.
They said, "These are the best years of your life."
Really? So, it gets worse? Because I'm still recovering from dissecting frogs and social anxiety.
The only thing I miss about school is how free I was to be dumb without consequences.
Now if I forget something, there's paperwork, bills, and disappointment.
7"Popularity Doesn't Matter."
They lied again.
Because let's be real—high school popularity just evolves into workplace politics.
Now it's not "who has the best sneakers," it's "who's closest to the manager"
The popular kids became influencers, the quiet ones became geniuses, and the class clowns started podcasts.
Me? I just pay taxes and occasionally roast people on YouTube.
8"Respect Authority"
No, respect humanity. Authority can be wrong.
Remember the teachers who said, "You'll never get anywhere being on your phone"?
I know someone who makes six figures recording TikToks about soap.
Meanwhile, that same teacher is still trying to figure out how to unmute herself on Zoom.
9 "College Will Be Better"
Better how?
College was just high school with debt and no supervision.
They said, "You'll have freedom!"—yes, freedom to eat instant noodles for breakfast and question my life choices.
They said, "You'll discover yourself."
I did. I discovered I hate group projects, sleepless nights, and surprise quizzes.
10 "Hard Work Always Pays Off."
I worked hard in high school. I stayed up late. I color-coded notes.
And then Chad, who once wrote "dog" on an algebra test, ended up getting rich off cryptocurrency.
Hard work pays off sometimes. But luck and networking pay off faster.
They should've taught us "Hard Work + Opportunity + Nepotism = Success."
******
11 "Don't Talk Back"
This one aged poorly.
Because in the real world, the people who "talk back" are called leaders, advocates, or founders.
Meanwhile, the ones who kept quiet are writing angry tweets from their office desks.
I wish I'd questioned more.
I wish I'd said, "Why?" every time they made us memorize pointless facts.
But I was too busy trying to be the "good student".
Now I'm the "loud adults " Balance has been restored.
*********
12 "High School Is the Best Time of Your Life"
Lies. Absolute lies.
It's only the best time if your idea of fun is homework, drama, and cafeteria food that could fight back.
They said, "You'll look back and laugh"
I do laugh— every time I realize how unprepared they left us for adult life.
You know what they should've taught us?
How to file taxes, fix a sink, deal with rejection, or set boundaries.
Instead, they gave us trigonometry.
To this day, I still don't know what sin θ did to deserve so much attention.
(Vivian leans back in her chair, exhaling)
"High school didn't prepare me for life," she says, "but it did prepare me to roast it"
(She looks into the camera one last time, sipping her drink)
"If you're still in school, enjoy it but don't believe everything they say.
Half of it's useful, the other half is emotional damage disguised as education"
(A pause. Then she smirks)
"And yes… I still don't know what a mitochondria does. Powerhouse or not, it's not paying my bills"
(She clinks her glass toward the screen)
"To the lies we survived and the Wi-Fi that keeps us connected through them"
END OF VIDEO♡