chapter 1
THE END OF THE NIGHTMARE
"Doctor, you know… most of the time people are unfair. They say not to judge a book by its cover, but they do it anyway. They say looks don't matter, but in the end, when they see a scar on someone's face, they start avoiding him, thinking he's dangerous. Isn't that hypocrisy? That's the kind of person I hate the most.""Gabriel, people are like that. You have to understand it.""I… I know, Doctor, that people are like that. And that's exactly why I feel more comfortable in sadness, because that's where I show my true face. In joy, people put on their masks and wish for each other's downfall instead of glory.""Gabriel, you're consumed by your thoughts, and that shouldn't happen. Pay more attention to your heart, because that will ease the bad feelings. If you keep living this way, trapped in the past and feeding those thoughts, your depression will continue, even if you take the medicine. Your insomnia will only get worse, your anxiety will keep growing, and the voices you complain about will intensify. But if you stop feeding those thoughts and listen to your heart, it will lessen. Do you understand, Gabriel?""But doctor, I'm suffering with this. I need medicine, or another solution.""Alright, I'll think about it. After all, I can't let a patient remain like this.""Thank you, doctor.""You're welcome. Now go, take your medicine, and head home."
Gabriel picked up his medicine and went to the bus stop. Once there, someone recognized him and came to greet him."Gabriel?"Gabriel looked at the man and began to recognize him. "Bruno?""Man, it's been so long! Look how much you've changed!""I'd say the same. And whose child is this? Your son, perhaps?" Gabriel asked, jokingly."Yeah! This is my son, Ruan. Come on, Ruan, say hello to daddy's friend." The boy, embarrassed, didn't say anything. Bruno grew embarrassed as well. "Sorry, he's really shy!""Ah, that's fine. So, how's life treating you?""Well, how can I put it… let's just say things are going well, thank God. Married, happy family, and a good-paying job.""That's great, my friend. I'm happy for you.""Yeah… and how about you?""I'm doing well too. I've got a steady job and I'm making good money." — Gabriel was lying, except for the part about the money. His life was actually chaos."That's good, friend.""And who's your wife?" Gabriel asked, full of curiosity."Well, don't be shocked… my wife is Elisa!" Bruno said happily. "After you two broke up, I consoled her, and well… here we are." He finished, laughing."What?!"
Gabriel was speechless, shocked, and surprised."Incredible, isn't it?" Just then the bus arrived. "Well, I have to go. Let's catch up over drinks sometime, okay?""Alright."
Gabriel waited for the bus, boarded, and noticed it was empty, but he still sat in the back. He stared up at the ceiling, realizing how miserable and despicable his life was. His anxiety spiked, and dark thoughts began to overwhelm him.
The bus suddenly stopped, nearly making him fall. He had been so lost in thought that he hadn't even noticed the time pass. He got off and walked home, which wasn't far from the bus stop. On the way, he reflected on his life, wondering what useful thing he had ever done.
"What have I really done with my life, other than working and studying?" The answer was harsh. His whole adult life had been lived on autopilot, like a programmed robot. "Wait… could this be one of the triggers for my problems? If so, then my entire life amounts to this. I'd rather die than go on living like this. I'm just wasting my life away." Gabriel thought, as his mental health sank even deeper.
He stopped, put his hands on his face, and whispered to himself, "Just hold on a little longer… just a few more days."
Night came, and he couldn't sleep. He made coffee, showered, dressed for work, and ordered an Uber. As usual, he was the first to arrive. He sat on a bench nearby and watched the morning crowd. Among them, he saw a blonde girl with dyed strands in her school uniform, surrounded by other pretty, stylish girls. He just observed quietly.
'My daughter is beautiful as always,' he thought. 'But she looks so sad. What happened? Well, there's nothing I can do to help her right now, except give her money.' Gabriel watched with dead eyes.
Minutes passed until his boss arrived. This had become routine for years. His boss greeted him normally, and together they entered the Wicht Company building. Gabriel sat at reception, working on the computer as the employees trickled in. Soon the first client arrived.
"Welcome, sir. How can I help you?""Well, is there still a spot available in H65?""Of course. Just go to the end of the hall and turn right, you'll find it there."
And so it went. That day was unusually busy — far more clients than even a typical "anomaly day." Gabriel worked tirelessly until his shift ended. He returned home, repeated the routine for two more days, until on the third day something strange happened. He didn't see his daughter.
'Weird. It's only Thursday, and she hasn't passed by. This is her only way to school…' Gabriel thought, sitting on the bench with his snack.
Then he heard footsteps approaching. Looking up, he saw her walking alone toward him.
"Hey, why do you sit here watching me every day at the same time?" she asked."Well… I work nearby, and I always arrive way too early, so I just sit here. That's all, you see?""Oh, I see." She sighed in relief and sat beside him. "Well, I'm glad you're not some creep watching me all this time.""Yeah, I just sit here. But why on earth are you here? Shouldn't you be at school?""Well… can I stay just a little longer here, please?""Alright, just for a little bit."
She brightened instantly."So, what's the problem?""What?""If you're sitting here with me, it means you want advice, right?""Well… kind of. Sorry if I'm bothering you.""No, it's fine. So tell me, what's wrong?""It's just… I'm having family problems. My mom divorced my dad, and I've been feeling really lonely and confused. I don't know why, but I feel so safe when I'm beside you. I can't explain it."
Gabriel sighed deeply. "It's normal at your age to feel lost and lonely, especially after your parents' divorce. You're just a teenager, confused about your feelings. What you can do now is try to overcome it on your own, like a warrior facing a dragon. At first, you couldn't defeat it, so you sought help. Now, with my help, you'll grow stronger to slay the dragon. Do you understand?""The dragon is my problems?" she asked.
Gabriel nodded. She lit up, happy to understand."Oh! By the way, my name's Anna.""I'm Gabriel. Nice to meet you, Anna."
When his boss arrived, Gabriel said goodbye and went to work. He enjoyed talking with his daughter, even though she didn't know he was her real father. For him, it was the only time he had truly acted like one.
That day was long, filled with work. He later headed to his therapy session. The doctor greeted him calmly. Gabriel lay down as the session began.
"So Gabriel, how were the last two days?""Well… some strange things happened.""Oh? Tell me.""My daughter came to me for advice. She's going through a hard time, you know.""That's good — your relationship with her is improving. And these last few days, did you have any dark thoughts blocking your feelings?"
The medicine isn't working. Should I increase the dose? No… This will be his last session. I can't keep him suffering like this — unable to sleep, always anxious. the doctor thought.
"Yes.""Can you tell me more?""I find peace in my own loneliness. After all, I'm a bad person, Doctor. I've almost never done anything good. I was a terrible father, son, friend, cousin, grandson, and nephew. I'm a failure, an example of what not to be as a human being. I feel both happy and sad when someone approaches me, but when I push them away, it's for their own good. I can't even fake a mask. I'm alone because I'm the worst of all."
The doctor was speechless. At that moment, he knew this would be Gabriel's last session.
"There's more I want to say, Doctor. May I?""Of course. That's my job.""Yes. Doctor, this will be my last session. I don't intend to come back. I can't stand living alone, without worth. I feel lonely, and I always remember her… I remember Runa. When I see couples, I picture myself with her. If I had been a better man, maybe I would be with her now." A tear rolled down his face."Maybe she still loves you, Gabriel." The doctor placed a hand on his shoulder. "You're not a bad person — you're a good one. She probably still loves you. Since this is our last session, tell me everything. I'll help you, give you advice."
Gabriel opened up completely, as if to a father. After pouring everything out, the doctor spoke:"Gabriel, you can still change. You're only 27. You still have a chance to turn your life around."
Gabriel gave a small, satisfied smile. Putting on his headphones, he played his favorite song and walked away, smiling. He didn't notice when he passed his bus stop. Bruno saw him pass by, smiling, and waved. Gabriel waved back, still smiling, which warmed Bruno's heart.
Gabriel walked to a bridge, still smiling. The world seemed radiant, everything shining like the sun. He felt light, like the wind could carry him away. On the bridge, amidst traffic, a young girl from earlier spotted him standing with arms wide open, staring at the horizon.
She ran to him, calling his name, but he didn't respond. She tried again — nothing. She couldn't reach him.
Gabriel just saw the sky glowing."Freedom. I see freedom right there. This darkness I call life ends here."
He climbed the railing, spread his arms, and leaned forward. Anna panicked. One of her friends ran and grabbed his arm."Are you crazy?!" the boy shouted.
Gabriel only smiled, placed his hand on the boy's hand — and let go.
He fell, closed his eyes, listening to his favorite song. The water swallowed him. His lungs filled. He sank, unconscious — but smiling. A sincere smile.
In the darkness, he heard a voice. A familiar voice. Runa's voice. He saw a light. Was he alive? Regardless, he swam toward it. Suddenly everything went dark again. Strange voices. He opened his eyes — and saw two people, and a baby's tiny hand.
At that moment, he realized he had been reincarnated.A new beginning. A new life, he thought.