The Celestial Realm was not merely a world floating in the heavens, but a mysterious dimension hidden beyond time and space — a final resting place for souls from countless parallel worlds, and the birthplace of new life.
…
Inside a grand palace suspended in the void, a silver-haired young man with narrow, lifeless eyes slowly awoke.
He found himself standing in an ancient, ornate hall adorned with intricate carvings. Through the wooden windows, he could vaguely glimpse the dark, shattered void beyond.
"Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing here?"
Still dazed, the silver-haired man rubbed his head and posed mankind's three great philosophical questions.
He staggered to his feet — and then froze.
"Mortal who met an unfortunate and untimely end, welcome to the afterlife."
A crisp, childlike voice rang in his ears.
He looked up. Seated atop a divine throne was a white-haired, red-eyed goddess clad in a pure white robe and a laurel crown — though her figure was decidedly underdeveloped. She sat with her legs lazily crossed in an utterly un-goddess-like manner.
Having recited her lines like a bored bureaucrat, the petite, loli-esque goddess frowned.
"Tch." She clicked her tongue, glaring down at the man below.
"I am Angel — yes, like the angels from your myths, more or less. I currently oversee reincarnation for a handful of your worlds."
A goddess? Why is she looking at me like that? Did I do something wrong?
The man instinctively scratched his backside.
Hmm. Feels bare. Wait — huh?!
He suddenly realized he was wearing nothing but a pair of loose boxers. His clothes had vanished.
"Uh… where are my clothes?"
Embarrassed, he covered himself with his hands.
Only now did he get a proper look at the little brat on the throne, swinging her legs like a smug doll, her white dress fluttering with each kick.
The angle was legally questionable. Given the circumstances, he wisely looked away.
"Hmph. A mere human body." Angel smirked. "What do you take me for?"
"You're a goddess, aren't you? Don't tell me you moonlight as a laundry thief."
"Idiot! I am the Goddess of Reincarnation, overseeing the cycle of life and death across countless worlds! I have seen more naked men than you've eaten grains of rice in your pathetic lifetime!"
"Really? Too much carbs causes high blood pressure, so I usually—"
"SHUT UP!"
The man's non-answer had apparently made things worse. The loli goddess looked even angrier now.
"Understand your situation, you insufferable fool."
"My… situation?" He tensed.
"I handle reincarnation for your worlds. If you haven't pieced it together by now—"
"Reincarnation…?"
The word landed, and the man went still.
Angel grinned at his stunned expression. With a wave of her hand, a golden cup materialized, filled with ice-cold fizzing soda. She took a long, satisfied gulp, savoring his shock. Ah — nothing better than sipping cola while watching a fresh soul panic. Truly the pinnacle of heavenly entertainment.
The silver-haired man finally snapped out of it.
"I'm… dead?" His lips trembled.
"Obviously. The fact that I'm sitting here drinking cola should be proof enough."
"You—!" He gritted his teeth at her smug, sadistic grin.
Angel continued, unbothered.
"You died in your original world. Crushed by something called a fully-insured semi-truck."
His eyes went wide.
"Impossible! Last night I drank with friends, went home, and passed out in bed! I live on the third floor — how could a truck kill me?!"
Angel scoffed.
"Oh? Your bedroom was in the middle of a crosswalk, was it?"
With a wave of her hand, a translucent screen appeared before him. He noticed the surveillance timestamp in the corner.
The footage showed his drunken self from the night before. Having finally received his year-end bonus, he had gone out drinking with colleagues. He was now clearly wasted, staggering home alone with a liquor bottle in hand.
"See? Nothing wrong here."
"Shut up and keep watching."
On screen, the swaying silver-haired man reached a crosswalk — slipped — and faceplanted onto the pavement. He lay motionless in the middle of the road.
"That can't be right! I remember making it home! I even said hi to my cat—"
Before he could finish, the footage showed his unconscious body stirring. His drunk, hallucinating self then proceeded to "unlock" an invisible door, greet an imaginary cat, strip, and tuck himself into bed — all while still sprawled on the asphalt.
Angel fast-forwarded.
Over the next two hours, several cars narrowly avoided him, their drivers blaring horns in panic. He slept through every one.
His luck ran out at dawn.
A semi-truck emerged with the first light of morning.
Angel mercifully pixelated the aftermath. The young man still turned green and dry-heaved.
"Well? Any complaints?"
With a cheerful heave-ho, Angel hopped off her throne and sauntered over, eager to savor his despair.
The man sat frozen.
This was it? His hard-earned life — ended by something this stupid?
"NO! I REFUSE TO DIE LIKE THIS!!!"
In a flash, the floral-boxer-clad man lunged and latched onto Angel's thigh, bawling into her dress.
"LET GO, YOU PERVERT! SOMEONE HELP — A CREEP IS ASSAULTING A GODDESS!!!"
Flailing, Angel summoned another golden soda cup and—
BONK.
The cup shattered. Carbonated joy splashed across the floor — along with the young man's consciousness.
"Hah… hah…" Panting, Angel clutched her flat chest. She prodded the unconscious man with her foot. No response.
"Hey! You can't play dead when you're already dead! Wake up!"
But whether it was the lingering alcohol or her divine strength, he stayed out cold.
"Ugh — damn it!" Angel's cute face scrunched in frustration. "I'm going to miss my soul-quota deadline again… No perfect attendance bonus… Why do I always get stuck with these losers?!"
She kicked him once more for good measure.
"This is ALL YOUR FAULT!"
Then her eyes lit up.
"Wait — I still have that garbage-tier isekai slot nobody wants. Perfect chance to dump this trash."
With a clap, she materialized a three-hundred-page contract and — without reading a single disclaimer — grabbed the man's limp hand and stamped every page.
The final sheet had just one field:
[ADVENTURER NAME]
"Ugh, I never asked his name…" She checked her dainty wristwatch. "No time. I'll bless him with one myself."
Guiding his unconscious hand, she scrawled:
SEBASTIAN
Not bad, right? …Okay, fine. I stole it from my no-soda-allowing butler.
"And this — off you go!"
A glowing blue portal yawned open beneath them.
Wow, the rejection rate's so high the system processed this instantly. Cheerfully, she dragged "Sebas" by the ankle and—
HEAVE-HO!
—pitched him into the void.
As the portal snapped shut, Angel smirked.
"Lucky pervert. Since your life got cut short, I'll gift you a new one. Hope you enjoy your adventure~ Ahahahaha!"