Summer 2025, Izu Islands
"Ugh… my head… gonna puke…"
Sebas groggily opened his eyes — and was greeted by a chorus of click-click smartphone shutters.
Blinking against the sunlight, he found himself sprawled on a pristine beach. Crystal-blue waves, palm trees, the salty tang of ocean air. His fogged mind began to clear.
"Where the hell…?"
Fragments of memory surfaced: a grand palace, a bratty loli goddess, and — wait, did I grope her thigh?!
Click-click-click!
"Would you STOP taking pictures?! Have some decency!"
Sebas scrambled upright — and froze.
Surrounding him were a dozen bikini-clad women, giggling as they shamelessly snapped away. A few pointed and whispered, eyes locked on…
Oh no.
His hand flew to his waist.
Oh HELL no.
His floral boxers — gone. Vanished. Leaving him thoroughly au naturel under the midday sun.
"GODDAMMIT, NOT AGAIN—"
A police car screeched to a halt on the coastal road. Two officers leapt out, spotted him, and charged.
Sebas stood frozen for a split second — then bolted.
"Chotto matte!!" the cops yelled.
Chotto… what? Since when do I understand Japanese?! No time to think. He pumped his legs, sand flying —
— until a wave of dizziness hit. Between the hangover and Angel's parting bonk, his stamina was shot. Desperate, he veered toward the ocean.
"SCREW IT — YOLO!"
With a war cry, he dive-bombed into the waves and vanished beneath the surf. The cops cursed on the shore behind him.
---
Later — a secluded reef
"Guh — HAH!"
Sebas hauled himself onto the rocks, gasping like a stranded fish.
"Never… running… naked… again…"
"Wow~! My chosen hero clears his very first trial so easily!"
A sickeningly sweet voice rang out.
Sebas spun around. "SHOW YOURSELF, YOU LITTLE—!"
"Hey! I am a goddess, you know? Keep disrespecting me and I'll smite you with divine baldness!"
He knew that petulant voice.
"Goddess… wait. That bratty loli?!"
It belonged to the self-proclaimed goddess whose thigh he'd clung to in his half-conscious state.
"Bratty loli?! I am the Great Goddess Angel! Watch your mouth, you—!" She caught herself with an audible huff. "Ugh, never mind. We have important things to discuss, Mr. Sebastian."
"Hold on, my name's not—"
"No interruptions! Yes, I named you. Your old identity is dead, so a rebrand was necessary. Now listen."
Ignoring his sputtering, Angel pressed on.
"As my chosen adventurer, you'll follow the contract terms — no, don't ask about the contract — and complete tasks through this handy-dandy quest assistant. Do well, get rewards. Fail, get punished. Easy peasy!"
A flash of light erupted in Sebas' palm, leaving behind a grain-sized metal orb. Before he could inspect it, the orb sank into his flesh.
"HEY! THAT'S INSIDE ME NOW—"
Beep!
A translucent blue panel materialized before him:
NAME: SEBASTIAN
CLASS: ADVENTURER
TASK POINTS: 0
ENHANCEMENTS: NONE
ITEMS: NONE …
Sebas stared at the screen, outrage momentarily forgotten. The interface resized at will and vanished with a thought.
The left panel displayed his stats. The right? A system shop gleaming with possibilities.
His eyes went straight to the top listings:
HEAVENLY CIVIL SERVANT POSITION Instant ascension to godhood! Ultimate job security! PRICE: 10,000 TP
HEAVENLY PUBLIC INSTITUTION POSITION Lesser godhood! Still a cushy gig! PRICE: 8,000 TP …
Sebas' soul trembled.
Even the celestial realm has a job market.
Silence. Angel had ghosted him.
He scrolled down to the actually affordable options:
ARCHMAGE CLASS — Unlock fireball-chucking glory! PRICE: 500 TP
PALADIN CLASS — Become a holy meat shield! PRICE: 500 TP …
Magic. Sword beams. His eyes lit up. But the real deals were the enhancement fruits — 5 TP each, covering everything from strength to agility. Further down: weapons, pets, even toothbrushes.
Then, at the very bottom of the list — 1 TP — his jaw dropped.
MY DAMN BOXERS?!