Ria
I was just trying to breathe through all the pain ripping through me, so I didn't fight him when he put me in or took me out of the car. I didn't argue or say anything when he ran me down to the clinic room.
I was surprised when Drago explained to Cole that I had an even bigger negative reaction than they thought I would. So, not only had they already known that I would react negatively, they were all in on the decision to do it anyway.
My mind continued to go over things while Dr. Surenka hooked me up to the IV and while Cole was doing the ultrasound thing. Hearing the baby's heartbeat, I honestly couldn't tell you what I felt in that moment.
The feelings around my pregnancy like the previous one were all fucked up. There was a part of my mother instict that wanted to protect and keep them safe, while simultaneously wishing they didn't exist. It fucked with my head terribly.
Drago did actually bring the girls down to me like he promised. They were happy to see me, I got lots of face pats, raspberries, and baby babbling. I just made sure to love on them as much as possible, cause I knew this afternoon had probably upset them as well.
It took several hours for the medication to finally work and my contractions to fully stop. They kept monitoring all of my vitals and monitoring the baby as well. They hovered like twittering birds all around me. I chose to stay silent the whole time.
Honestly, what was there to say? I had made clear what I thought and felt, and they had decided to dismiss that and favor their people over me, yet again. I should have expected this honestly. I was not their first priority, and I needed to get it through my head that my wants and wishes meant shit.
From day one that is how it has been, so stupid of me for thinking how things were with the girls would be any different. I mean they have already sold all three of them to perfect strangers, so they don't give a rat's ass about them either.
We are all just cogs in the workings of their grand plans for their people and creating some fucking utopia for dragons in their care. Well, let me rephrase, the people who have already been dragons in their care. We new dragons are shit on their shoe.
I am thinking about what I need to do as soon as they let me the fuck out of this room. I really fucking hate this room. It seems like all these horrific moments surround this room. The day I failed to free myself from this hell, I woke in this room. The day Drago put this cuff on me to ensure his prisoner didn't escape, it was in this room.
Finding out about pregnancies and babies and triplets, all in this god damn room. I wish I could burn it to the ground. That's a thought. I wonder if I wasn't hurting anyone and I wasn't hurting myself, if I could manage to do something like that. It might be worth a try. I would need to make sure the girls are away from the house though.
When they finally unhook the IV and tell me that it's okay for me to get dressed and go upstairs, I don't speak, I just put on my clothes.
I can see Cole watching me from the corner of my eye. I am sure he thought I would scream and yell at him while I was here, since I know he was in on that shit show today. I don't do a damn thing.
I leave the clinic room and head up to the nursery. The girls are all asleep in their cribs, as it's now evening. So I just picked up the other part of the baby monitor and turned the one on in the nursery. Then I take the receiver with me as I walk up to the 4th floor.
The tower room was cleaned and all the bedding washed. I even went so far as to have them put a supply of firewood and kindling in here for a fire. So, I head there now with the monitor in my hand. I am not worried about clothes right this second.
I know if I go into their room to get my clothes I will have to come face to face with the rest of them, and I am in no frame of mind to do that. I will end up doing something stupid, or at least trying to, because my cuff will stop me.
So, I am planning to remove myself from the room we have been sharing. Now that I fully embrace my role in all this shit, regardless of what they say, their actions speak louder. I should have thought of this when they shut me out of every single discussion they had about selling the girls. My opinions mean absolutely nothing.
One other thing I had added to this room was a black velvet loveseat, like the one in my old room, when I had decorated it how I wanted it. God, I miss my room so bad, Maybe I should redo that in a room up here. Actually, I wonder how hard it would be to install a bathroom in this room?
The stairs to the battlements have been filled in, so no one can ever walk up there again. In a society of dragons who the fuck needs stairs? They just did that to keep me from being able to go out there and possibly staging some "accident" so the cuff wouldn't stop me.
I set the monitor for the girls down on the nightstand and turn it up so I can be sure and hear it. Then I go to the fireplace and build a fire. I actually have a lighter in my pocket that I pulled out of my purse on the way up here.
So, now that a fire is going I sit on the loveseat just gazing into it. This was what I used to do in my room that I miss so much. That and being able to have my owls come and visit me. I wonder if I could finagle something from the nursery. That was the whole reason for redoing the 3rd floor in the first place, having the girls close and not an entire floor away.
Well, look how good that has turned out now. At least now they are 6 months old and don't need constant feedings all night. That should make being up here easier. Tomorrow I will tell Drago to hire a nanny. He has been bugging me about it for a while anyway.
She will be able to go to town with them from now on. If I can help it, I will never set foot in the cursed place again.
Tomorrow they will see how things have changed.