"She is alive right?"
Mt Lady was looking into the falling dust where Mirko lay.
"Yeah, she'll be fine…"
Mirko coughed and a little, just a tiny bit of blood came out.
"Maybe we should check at a hospital though…"
——
Mirko didn't want to go to a hospital so we didn't.
Right now she was grabbing a drink from a vending machine.
I was leaning against it, nonchalantly of course.
"So when are you leaving?"
The can clattered as it fell from its container.
"Tomorrow morning."
I yawned.
"Got it."
"I'm crashing at yours though."
"Yeah, just invite yourself in why don't you…"
We walked side by side to my place.
"Anyway I fought this real strong villain right…"
——
We arrived outside my apartment building.
"Woah this place is big…"
I turned around to see Mt Lady.
'I forgot she was here…'
"Well come on in, I'll cook something I guess."
"Yeah! With carrots!"
"Haaaah, with carrots…"
As I got to work making some tacos those two bums decided to take my entire living room for themselves.
I could still hear them.
'Let's get cooking…'
"So how long have you known Taka?" Mt Lady started.
"Hmmm, probably over a decade now…" She chewed on a carrot.
'The fuck? Where'd she get that carrot from?'
I checked my fridge and saw a ripped bag that was meant to have carrots in.
'Eh?!'
"A decade? Wow…"
"Yeah! And the old man hadn't changed a bit! Well, apart from that one scar."
"Why do you call him old man? He's not that old is he?"
"He's gotta be pushing 40."
"HEY! I'M 30!"
"Whatever you say old timer! You look exactly the same so who knows…"
"I DO! I KNOW!"
"You two get along well."
"For now, as soon as I beat him we're never gonna talk again. I gotta show dominance, betting beaten so much just means I have to relish in my eventual victory even harder…"
"YOU'RE GOING TO BE 80 AND I'LL STILL LOOK 22!"
"SHUT IT OLD MAN! YOUR TIME IS UP!"
I snorted.
——
My tacos were GREAT, because I said so.
Mt Lady and Mirko were getting along.
I think? It's hard to tell what Mirko is thinking.
"… being a hero is great! Even though all I did was an interview it felt awesome!!"
I decided to chime in. "It's not all great…"
Mt Lady took that personally as she stood up and slapped the table.
"Eh?! What are you taking about? All that attention felt so great!"
She started frothing at the mouth.
"Yeah, until a Yuri fanfic about you and Mirko is created within the next couple days…"
"Where did you even get that idea from?!"
"I've objectively seen worse, and you two being seen walking around today is basically a death sentence. Number 1 we have Mirko here, who is… well she's her I guess. And then we have you who was showing her ass off for the camera! Not to mention the freaks that are out there…"
"Why are you so focused on me showing my ass on camera?"
"It's a weird first impression! It's very memorable because of how weird it is to me…"
"Hmmm, well it's all for the fame. I don't have a problem, and that's just current society."
"Sure, maybe because I've got Mirko as a disciple my view is different."
Mirko chimed in. "You mean padawan right?"
Mt Lady's jaw dropped. "No way you've seen that too! Am I the only one here who hasn't?!"
Mirko stood up.
"Hmmm yeah, it's good. They don't kick at all though, it's pretty annoying on that part."
"PRECISELY! IT'S GREAT!"
Mirko yawned.
"Dibs the guest room!" She bounded away.
"Don't break the…" It was too late, she was already gone.
'This some bullshit…'
I got up and started doing the dishes.
"You planning on staying too?"
Mt Lady was just sitting there.
"Um, I guess it's pretty late…"
"Just take my room."
'I'll do a night shift.'
"But then where will you sleep?"
"The sofa, probably."
"What? But this is your place!"
"You want the sofa?"
"No…"
'You're not getting scolded, why do you sound like that?'
She brightened up.
"Oh! What if we sleep together!"
"No."
"Aw!"
"Just go to bed… wait what are you called?"
"Mt Lady."
"No what do you want me to call you, I know your hero name."
"Ah! Call me Yu!"
"You?"
"No, Yu."
"Yu?"
"Yes, Yu."
'Fuck me… that'll be complicated.'
"Alright, get! To bed you go!"
'I'd better get to work, after all if I don't stop the nighttime crime I'll never be able to do that… I think it's almost definite that they'll ask me for the job.'
"Hah. Truly despicable Takaba."
I left the building and darted around.
No major villains, mostly thieves and drug dealers.
But the point was that I was operating at night, so criminals will hopefully just stop being criminals in my area.
Or at least lower the rates further.
After working for a couple hours I returned and slept on my sofa.
To be fair it's a nice sofa, very comfy.
——
At around 9 I woke up to Mirko leaving.
"See you… don't only eat carrots."
"See ya!"
She left, and I couldn't get back to sleep.
'I need a shower…'
I bravely took a cold one, I know, I know.
I'm pretty strong huh?
Unfortunately I had to run in and out my room, for clothes.
Where Mt Lady was still napping.
She was completely curled up in my bedsheets, still in her hero costume.
'How lewd. Has she been trying to smell me all night? And won't she stink in that costume?'
I left a towel on the bed and a note.
"Take a shower, and whatever clothes you need."
Then I went to go shopping, I had no carrots left.
I wonder why…
While out I received a message from Nezu, he wanted to meet later today.
'Hmmm.'
Might as well see what he wants, I did technically sign a life contract… even if that was in another timeline.
A/N: you think that in verse they would make yaoi fanfics of this guy yet? Of course they will have made fanfics about heroes, more specifically self inserts so they can live their fantasies.
Humanity is just depraved like that…