SF Chapter 192: Conan Again
(Flashback - 1996, Premiere) – Just for recap
The red carpet was chaos - flashes going off, people shouting names, security trying to keep things under control.
Mars Attacks! was a big-budget movie, with an estimated $100 million budget and several stars.
"This is so cool," Phil said, completely excited as he looked around at all the celebrities. "We were so lucky to get these tickets from the buyer I sold the house to."
Claire, on the other hand, was more concerned about the little boy beside her.
She was holding tightly onto her little brother's hand, trying to keep Daniel from getting lost in the crowd.
"Stay close, Dani. I swear I'm going to make you clean the whole house if you get into any mischief."
"Relax, sis," Dani dismissed.
"And if the movie gets too inappropriate, we're leaving the theater," Claire continued.
"Oh, come on, sis, we already talked about it. It's rated 12. I'm almost there. And this is my first premiere!"
Phil and Dani managed to convince Claire it would be okay. But Haley was denied, since she was even younger.
Then Phil stopped and pointed. "Claire, that's James Bond! I just need one picture," he said. "One! With Pierce Brosnan. Or Jack Nicholson."
"Phil, those two are going to be the hardest," Claire tried to tone down her husband's excitement a bit.
Daniel, meanwhile, was looking toward the other side, where a girl had just finished signing an autograph. There was basically no one else asking anymore.
He slipped out of his sister's grip and run straight up to her.
Claire's eyes widened. "Daniel!" She yelled, and quickly went after him.
Daniel stopped right in front of the girl and looked up at her.
"Hello," she smiled, "do you want an autograph-"
"Marry me," he blurted out. "Marry me!"
She blinked. "What?" The girl was completely caught off guard.
Claire, who had already caught up to him, grabbed him by the collar of his suit.
"Daniel!" she snapped, then quickly looked at the girl. "Sorry about that, my little brother can be a little troublesome."
"But I'm serious!" Dani made a face, turning back to the girl again. "I would totally marry you!"
Then he asked nonchalantly, "What's your name, by the way? I'm Dani."
The girl was still a bit incredulous, but she ended up laughing. "Natalie. Natalie Portman."
"And I'm sorry, you're too young for me," she replied gently.
"Alright," Dani muttered, looking a bit down. "I'll take the autograph then..." He handed her a piece of paper he had in his pocket.
Natalie took it and signed the folded paper. But she found it a bit strange and unfolded it. "Wait, this is-"
"Ha, no take-backs," Daniel quickly pulled the paper back. But Claire immediately grabbed it from his hand.
"Marriage certificate," she read at the top. "Daniel!" She groaned. "Where did you get this and theses ideas?"
"Ouch, sis," Dani complained as she pulled his ear. "You're ruining my performance!"
He turned again to the girl. "Are you sure you don't want to marry me? 'Dani and Natalie' sounds great together!"
"I'm sure. We're still too young," Natalie replied, amused.
"Fine. But one day, I'm going to grow up tall and awesome, and then you'll totally regret not saying yes. Mark my words - awesome!"
"Yes, Dani." She nodded, entertained by the little boy's bold confidence.
"Like six feet tall."
"I'm sure."
"Rich, famous, handsome, and still very funny."
"Hm, that does sound appealing."
"And do you know the best part of it?"
"No, what?"
"When I ask you out when I'm older, you'll definitely say yes!"
Natalie laughed aloud at that.
(Flashback end)
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"My next guest is a very talented actress you know from the Star Wars films, also a Harvard graduate…" Conan began the introduction.
"Meanwhile, I once got rejected by a community college in New Jersey."
The audience let out a light laugh.
"And later this year, she stars alongside Julia Roberts, Jude Law, and Clive Owen in the new film Closer. Please welcome Natalie Portman!"
The beautiful young actress walked out to the crowd's delight and made her way toward the couch, first shaking the host's hand.
"Now, before we start our conversation with Natalie, we have a second special guest joining us tonight," Conan announced.
Even Natalie looked slightly surprised.
"My next guest has been here once before. He's currently Hollywood's golden boy, the writer behind Mean Girls, Superbad, Easy A, and Juno."
The audience immediately erupted into cheers.
"Nominated for Best Original Screenplay at just eighteen years old. Please welcome Dani Harper!"
Daniel walked out from the same entrance Natalie had used.
He greeted her first, giving her hand a light kiss, which earned another reaction from the audience.
Afterward, he walked over to Conan.
The two hugged like old buddies.
"We have our two young stars here tonight," the host began. "And the first question is obvious… did you two already know each other?"
Natalie glanced at the young man before answering.
"Only by reputation, unfortunately. I didn't have the chance to meet him before tonight. But I saw him on the Oscar night."
She smiled warmly at him. "But I'm happy to finally meet you, Dani."
"I don't know if Dani feels the same way," Conan said, pointing at the boy's unusually annoyed expression.
Dani raised one finger. "It is justified." He added some dramatic flair. "When your own wife doesn't remember you!" he accused.
The audience and Conan immediately let out a loud "OHHH!" while Natalie simply stared at him.
Given his reputation, she was waiting to see what kind of joke he was building toward.
"And I have proof," Dani stated.
He stood up, walked over to Conan, pulled a photo from his pocket, and showed it to him.
"This is my treasure. This is me," he said, pointing at one side of the picture, "and doesn't this look exactly like Natalie?"
The host, the only one who could see the photo, immediately nodded.
"It looks like you, Miss Portman."
She raised an eyebrow and looked back and forth between the two.
This time, Daniel walked over to her and showed her the picture.
"OH MY GOD… you're that boy??!" she yelled in genuine surprise, immediately covering her mouth with both hands.
"Now we absolutely need to hear this story!" the host said eagerly.
"But first, we're going to a commercial break… and make sure to play the trailer for my next movie, Juno," Daniel said.
Conan immediately made a face. "You have absolutely no shame, Dani."
"You are absolutely right, Conan. Thank you!"
The two burst out laughing.
"Okay, do you want to do the honors, Natalie?" Dani asked next. "I can help fill in the blanks."
She recomposed herself, narrowed her eyes at him, but finally started the story.
"I still vividly remember this little troublemaker," she remarked.
"It was 1996, at the premiere of Mars Attacks!, my first big blockbuster - I was 15. Back then, I didn't have many people asking for my autograph. And obviously, most people were far more interested in Pierce Brosnan and Jack Nicholson."
"After I had signed an autograph, I suddenly saw a little boy running toward me-"
"A very cute ten-year-old boy," Dani corrected.
She continued as if she hadn't been interrupted.
"I politely asked if he also wanted an autograph. Do you know what he first said?" she asked, turning toward Conan.
"What?" he inquired excitedly.
"'Marry me,' and then he repeated it - 'Marry me!' - just to make sure I had heard him," she revealed, making the audience go wild.
"There's more," Natalie continued. "Even after his sister scolded him, he kept going. And worse, he didn't even know my name!"
"Oh, when I was a kid, I didn't pay attention to small details," Dani said shamelessly.
The audience kept laughing.
"And the story doesn't end there," she went on. "After I politely declined his proposal, he looked completely heartbroken and finally asked me for an autograph."
"I felt a little bad for him, and I signed it. But I thought the paper looked a bit strange, so I unfolded it."
"It was a marriage certificate!" she deadpanned.
The audience exploded.
"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I met my wife!" Daniel declared triumphantly, striking a dramatic pose.
Conan was clapping enthusiastically, completely delighted by the entire story.
"I'm starting to feel bad for your parents, Dani," Conan then remarked sarcastically.
"Oh, they get a percentage of the movie profits," Daniel commented casually.
"Never mind, the feeling is gone."
"And there's still the ending of the story," Natalie pointed out.
Conan widened his eyes comically. "There's more?! What is wrong with you, Dani? When I was ten, I was out there eating grass, not wooing a Hollywood celebrity."
She finished the story. "He confidently told me that I was going to regret saying no to him. That he was going to grow up tall and awesome."
"Rich, famous, handsome, and still very funny," Daniel completed, repeating exactly what he had said back then.
Natalie rolled her eyes, though she still laughed.
"Wait, wait, wait a damn moment," Conan interrupted comically. "Tall, rich, famous, handsome, and funny? Did you seriously get everything right? How is this fair?!" He put on a fake outraged expression.
"But now the story is over, right?" Conan asked, looking at Daniel.
"Yes. My awesome and epic proposal ended like that," Dani nodded. "But later that same day, I was brutally thrown back to reality when my sister grounded me and made me clean her entire house."
"And not only because of what happened at the premiere," he added. "There were also the normal things… like drawing on the walls, on the kitchen ceiling, and on my niece's face…"
"Kids, if you're watching this, none of that is normal!" Conan turned toward the camera and warned dramatically.
"Well, at least I was nothing like Seth. I only drew normal things, like my Wimpy Kid stories," Daniel clarified.
The people in the audience who had seen Superbad immediately burst out laughing, remembering Seth's childhood habit of constantly drawing penises.
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