SF Chapter 193: Conan Again II
After the audience finally settled down, Conan turned toward his guest with a grin.
"Both involve age differences, blonde younger guys, and coming back with incredible power. Natalie, are you absolutely sure you didn't accidentally create Anakin Skywalker twice?"
The audience burst into laughter.
"Anakin was cuter," Natalie smirked. "And he actually saved himself for Padmé."
The crowd immediately reacted with loud "ooohs" at the playful jab at Daniel's reputation as a playboy.
"Well…" Daniel shrugged innocently. "Padmé was a Queen..."
The audience got even louder.
Natalie opened her mouth in mock offense.
"OHHHH! He recovered immediately!" Conan leaned back in his chair, laughing as he tried to pour even more fuel on the fire.
"And you want to marry me?" Natalie narrowed her eyes.
"We're not sleeping together, and we're taking jabs at each other in public. This already feels like a marriage to me," he remarked.
Natalie couldn't hold back a genuine laugh at what he said.
Conan turned toward the young man this time. "Daniel, what exactly was the plan there? Let's say Natalie said yes. Then what? She moves into a Malibu mansion while you continue fourth grade from there?"
"Oh, I wasn't living in Malibu. So there were only my dad's and my mom's houses - Brentwood and Beverly Hills," he replied.
"I feel so sorry for you," Conan said dryly.
Daniel continued, "And at ten, I was convinced I was going to become a famous painter or illustrator."
"That didn't work out," the host pointed out.
"Yeah. I failed as a painter. So I wrote books, which sold millions, and scripts, which grossed hundreds of millions at the box office..." He spoke as if he had resigned himself to Plan B.
"I'm feeling even more sorry for you!"
"I was probably a slave in my past life. Maybe that's why life is overcompensating now," Dani admitted.
Conan smirked. "Finally! Someone admits they weren't a king, a pharaoh, or royalty in a past life. Nobody ever says they were the peasant."
"Now, we're going to take a short commercial break."
After the taping paused, Conan said excitedly, "That was amazing, Daniel and Natalie! Hard to believe all of that was completely spontaneous, with no prep at all."
Natalie kept staring at Dani. "I still can't believe you're that little gremlin," she joked, sounding genuinely incredulous.
He laughed and pointed toward the audience. "My sister and her husband, Phil, are over there."
The actress glanced in their direction but didn't seem to remember them, she still gave them a small smile and wave.
Meanwhile, someone from the production crew approached Conan and whispered something in his ear.
The host quickly shared the news. "Natalie, my producers just informed me they found some of your old interviews talking about a certain little fan with a marriage certificate."
The production crew signaled that they were about to resume, and everyone got ready.
"We're back with Natalie Portman and Dani Harper. During the break, my producers apparently went into full FBI mode."
The audience laughed.
"Because it turns out… Natalie has actually told this story publicly before. And not just once."
A video started playing, showing a sixteen-year-old Natalie talking about some of her most unusual fan encounters.
"The top one was this kid named Dani. He was like ten or eleven years old and asked me to marry him. But what made it memorable was that somehow he got me to sign a marriage certificate… and the sheer amount of confidence he had."
After the audience finished enjoying the clip, Conan asked a few more questions before shifting to another topic. "Now let's talk about movies. So, what can you tell us about Closer, Natalie?"
She explained the premise of the film in a way meant to promote it. She finished by saying, "And my character, Alice, is a stripper."
The camera immediately zoomed in on Daniel while Conan asked, "What do you think about that, Dani?"
The boy raised one finger and put on a rare serious expression. "For a writer, reading and watching movies are fundamental for building a creative repertoire. So I'll definitely need to watch this movie!"
Natalie chuckled. "I can get you a ticket to the premiere."
"What about me?" Conan shamelessly asked as well.
"Oh, don't give him one. He just wants to see you as a stripper," Dani accused.
"Hey, that's you!" the host retorted.
"That's the pot calling the kettle black," Natalie pointed out.
Conan changed the subject. "Daniel, I saw you singing on Letterman with Amanda Seyfried," he said, pointing accusingly at him.
"You didn't do it here last time. And now we have Natalie here, so I think you should do it!"
"Fine!" Daniel agreed. "But this time I will sing an original one! I came prepared with a pop-reggae song."
A more pop-oriented beat started playing before Daniel walked toward a small area that had been prepared for him.
"I wrote this song remembering when I was younger," he said into the microphone on stage. "But I doubt you'll know where my inspiration came from." He smirked.
A moment later, he finally began to sing:
♫♪You're way too beautiful, girl
That's why it'll always work
But you have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn, all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do you dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over ♫♪
♫♪ See, it started at the prime, used to chill after dark
Oh, when you took my heart, that's when we fell apart
'Cause I thought that love last forever (last forever)
You say we're too young to get ourselves sprung
Oh, I didn't care, I made it very clear
And you also said that we couldn't last together (last together) ♫♪
The camera kept cutting to Portman's reaction - she looked genuinely surprised.
♫♪See, it's very defined, you're one of a kind
But you mash up my mind, you haffi get declined
Oh Lord, my baby is drivin' me crazy
You're way too beautiful, girl
That's why it'll always work
But you have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over ♫♪
♫♪Damn, all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do you dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over
It was back in ninety-six, watchin' movies all the time
Oh, when I went away for doin' my first crime
And I never thought that we was gonna see each other (see each other)
And then I came out, mami moved me down south
Oh, I'm with my girl who I thought was my world
It came out to be that she wasn't the girl for me (girl for me) ♫♪
♫♪...
... They'll have you suicidal, suicidal, suicidal, suicidal ♫♪
When he finished singing, the audience erupted completely.
"Oh my God! NO. No no no no. You don't get to casually do THAT on my show," Conan exclaimed as soon as Daniel sat back down in his chair.
"I'm gonna hand it over to Natalie in a second, but I need to say this first. I know how to milk a good story, but you, my friend, are on another level. Did you just turn a five-minute story from your childhood into a full song?"
"Yes," Dani agreed. "Now Natalie can talk about her most incredible interaction with her awesome and handsome fan."
"I'm in total disbelief," Natalie chuckled. "And even worse, I can already tell this song is going to be stuck in my head all week," she joked.
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After the interview ended, Phil and Claire walked over to the stage.
"See, sis? Everything went well," Daniel said with a smile.
"Yes, it actually went really well. Now the whole country can see what I had to deal with," Claire replied dryly.
Natalie laughed at their exchange.
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Author's Note: Yes, his first song released to the public is one of the most cachy song.
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