[Hyde POV]
The floodgates opened up as I asked Jackie what was wrong.
"She stole him from me! And she dares to taunt me with it? Ugh!"
Jackie paced around in anger. I listened as I picked up my boots and began polishing them.
Since I couldn't escape, I might be more productive with my time here.
"I had to get checked at the hospital after we broke up! I had to get a shot of penicillin! Thankfully, the doctor didn't find anything. Still I feel like I had to get a shot."
"That's probably a good idea." I muttered.
But she ignored me and continued ranting.
"Laurie makes me so mad! I just wanna rip out her hair, show it to her and hope it doesn't grow back. I hate her." She finally stopped and looked at me.
"Jackie, that's what she wants. She's like a vampire. But instead of blood, she fed on your anger." I furrowed my eyebrow slightly, my hand still polishing the boot.
"Well then what am I supposed to do? You seem to fight that creature really well." She sat on the couch again.
"If you really want to get under her skin, you have to be Zen." I suggested.
Jackie scoffed derisively. "Zen? Okay, you can't just make up words Hyde."
"No, man, Zen. At peace, aloof…" I paused and stressed out, "Zen…"
Taken aback, Jackie accepted it readily and said, "Oh. Okay then, Hyde, will you teach me how to be Zen?"
I said casually, "You can't just teach someone to be Zen Jackie, you can only learn to be Zen."
"Okay, I don't understand." She shook her head innocently.
I smirked, "Exactly. And that's your first lesson."
"Huh?!" Jackie grimaced with confusion, her eyes were skeptical.
"Jackie, if you wanna be my student you need to follow my instructions. Without question."
"Okay okay, see, I can do that." She smiled giddily.
"Okay. First thing, finish polishing my boots." I gave her my boot and the rag.
She protested, "Okay Hyde, how is that gonna help–"
"WHAT?" I stared at her.
"Okay!" She took the job immediately and started polishing the tan coloured boot.
"You make a fine student! Shine Grasshopper! Shine!" I said as I stood up, however I saw something I should've never seen.
Her spitting on the shoes and using saliva to polish the boot.
'Wait. Am I getting– No. There's no way. Seriously. No freaking way.'
I laughed inwardly and went back to my room to pick up the other boots.
As she finished both of them, I finally taught her some techniques.
She sat on the dryer and listened to my lesson.
"First lesson. Nothing can ever get through your shell. The thicker it is, the better. We're going to practice saying 'Whatever' to every insult that comes your way."
"I don't think I'll like this lesson." Jackie grimaced slightly.
"Oh, I think I'm going to enjoy it a lot." I smirked.
"So. remember. Say 'Whatever' and let the insult deflect away, don't take it personally and keep your calm."
She nodded giddily.
"Hey Jackie. Your face makeup doesn't match your neck." I said casually.
"WHAT?!" Jackie widened her eyes in shock and covered her neck slightly.
I rolled my eyes and urged her to say the word.
"I mean. Whatever."
She said it, but her expression still showed that it really bothered her.
"Again." I ordered.
"What. Ever." She rolled her eyes slightly.
"Again."
"What.E.ver." She replied angrily.
"Again."
"Whatever! Whatever! Whatever!"
Time passed by pretty quickly. She must've said the words over 100 times now.
Jackie rolled her eyes again, "Whatéver…"
"No, more aloofness!" I told her.
"Whatever…"
"I'm not believing you."
She stepped down from the dryer and said, "Hyde, when are we going to move on? I have been saying 'whatever' for half an hour!"
"You can say very much by saying very little, small Grasshopper." I sat on the dryer, showing Jackie an example. "Pretend you're Laurie and insult me."
She crossed her arms together and said giddily. "Okay…Hey Hyde! You're stupid!"
I didn't react to it, letting it bounce off me and said casually, "Whatever…"
"Wow, that was great!" Jackie was impressed.
My cold face immediately shattered. "Yeah! Now, another part of this is ambiguity. Say it with me…"
We both said it at the same time, "Am-bi-gui-ty!"
I continued, "Very good. See, you don't want people to know exactly what you mean. Here, ask me if I want to go to a movie tonight."
She asked, "Hey Hyde, would you like to go to a movie tonight?"
"That's cool." I replied.
She was taken aback.
"See, you don't know if I mean 'That's cool - I'll go" or "That's cool - no thanks"."
"And that's cool?" She asked.
"Whatever…"
Jackie got excited. "Oh my God! I am so sorry I got impatient!"
"That's cool." I kept up my zen.
Donna suddenly came into the basement. "Hey guys. So Jackie, Eric won't invite me to dinner tonight. So do you wanna – like go to the mall or something?"
Jackie crossed her arms and mimicked me, "That's cool."
"Grea–Wait, what do you mean?" Donna was confused.
"Oh my God it worked!" She turned to me before realizing her mistake. "I mean…whatever…" She pretended to Donna before nodding in excitement, turning towards me.
I smiled in satisfaction. However, I realized something else and my face froze slightly.
'Wait. Did I just think she's cute?' I shuddered at my own thoughts.
"Steven. We're going to go hang out at Donna's house for a bit." Jackie said to me.
"That's cool." I told them and hopped down the dryer. "Finally, I can do some work."
Donna approached me and asked, "What are you working on?"
" A script."
"Wait. So you're really writing the movie yourself?" Donna was surprised.
Jackie gasped. "You're making a movie? Can I be the lead?"
"No." I replied firmly, which made Jackie flabbergasted.
…
After Jackie and Donna left, I picked up the phone and began dialling a number I knew.
Red would be pretty mad if he knew I was calling someone in California at peak rate hours.
I was calling Patty, the showrunner for Warner Bros. She was the only connection I had to Hollywood so right now, I needed a lot of her advice and guidance.
"Hello. You reached the office of Patty Leigh. Can I take a message?" Her assistant answered.
"Hi. I'm Steven Hyde. Is Patty there? I need to ask her a few questions." I replied casually.
"Steven Hyde? Who might you be? Oh– Wait. I see your name in the priority list. I'm connecting you to her right now." The assistant's tone became anxious at the end.
Patty picked up the phone and said, "So. You finally called me. Do you want to grab dinner together?"
"Although I say that I'll call you if I'm in California, I'm not there right now. The call is expensive, so I'll be direct. I'm making a movie. Just a small indie. I need a scriptwriter, and a connection to a talent agency to hire some actors."
She laughed and said, "Finally. I'll call you back tomorrow. Do you have a clear idea about the movie yet? How old the cast–"
I interjected before she could finish, "I want a guy named Pierce Brosnan. He's in London. Although I'm not sure he can do an American accent. He's an understudy in the Roundhouse Theater right now."
Patty was taken aback. "Wait. Let me write it down–"
"Second is Dennis Quaid." I checked ChatGPT to find out what they were doing right now and to figure out if I could cast them.
"I need an actress in her 40s, or late 30s, for a supporting role—mainly in a coma and a short flashback scene. If Sally Struthers can get into the project for a maximum fee of twenty grand, that'll be great."
"Last of the good guys… Don Aykroyd. You can find him on Saturday Night Live. I want him if I can get him."
"Then, the villain. I need a charismatic man in his 40s. A young blonde girl in her mid twenties to become his wife."
Patty stopped me and asked, "You're finally mentioning someone I know. I can get you Sally Struthers and Don Aykroyd. How about the female lead?"
"I already have someone in mind for the role. But I will audition her first to see if she can do the role well."
I continued telling Patty about the movie and what I wanted. She was a showrunner. I needed someone like that on my side.
"When do you think you'll begin filming?" She asked.
"In a month. Not that much time left to make the script. I'll do some rough work. I just need someone to take care of the dialogue for me."
Patty listened and said, "I'll bring a few staff with me after three weeks. Are you going to take care of the actors' flight cost?"
"Yeah. I'll take care of it."
"And your budget for the shoot?" She asked.
"Around 200(k). I could push 250 to 300. Depends if I need that or not."
Patty went silent for a bit. "That's enough to make an actual movie. Do you want me to ask Warner to invest in the project?"
"No. I don't want to. I want to keep 100% control since it's my first project. Just want to see if I have it in me to be a director."
Patty laughed slightly and said, "I'll call you tomorrow."
She cut the call and I sighed slightly.
"I can't turn back now."
I suddenly heard Mrs Forman calling for me from upstairs.
"Steven! Dinner!"
…
In the Formans' dining room, Red and Kitty sat on the opposite side of the head table. Eric and I sat on one side. Laurie sat on the other side alone.
"So. Eric. Steven. What are your plans for the summer?" Red asked us.
Taken aback, Eric swallowed his meatloaf and stammered. "Ummm… I don't know."
"Auto Festival." I told Red casually.
Mrs Forman smiled and said, "Eric. Maybe you can follow Steven and become his assistant."
"Sure." Eric agreed easily.
While we were having a silent moment, Kelso suddenly walked through the front door, wearing a suit and tie, carrying a paper bag with him.
"Hi guys, sorry I'm late." He said.
Red and Kitty were surprised. "What?"
"You guys started eating without me?! That is SO rude!" Kelso pretended to be offended before smiling. "I'm just kidding!" He laughed.
Mrs Forman faked a laugh too and said, "Eric, you must have forgotten to mention that you invited Michael to dinner tonight."
Eric played along immediately, "Oh right. Uhhh yeah I guess I did!"
Kelso tried to give a box of chocolate to Laurie but Eric grabbed it first.
"Oh and there are my chocolates, the chocolates that I asked you to bring...over to me. Oh Fanny Farmer!" Eric opened up the box and pretended it was his.
Kelso didn't catch the hint and said, "No no, those are for Laurie!"
Laurie looked at him worriedly.
Red turned to him and asked sternly, "Kelso, what the hell are you doing here?!"
Eric yelped. "DAD!"
Red turned to him with surprise. Eric tried to change the subject. "Err..nougat?"
He offered Red the box of chocolates. Kelso walked towards Red excitedly.
"Don't worry Red, I got something for you too!" He pulled out a six-pack– more like a five pack and gave it to Red.
"FIVE beers?" Red saw through it immediately.
Kelso lied, "Uh yeah, they were all out of six-packs...Weird huh."
"Let me help you out with that there, Red." I took out a can of beer and Red turned to me angrily.
"Are you taking a beer?!"
Surprised, I shouted, "HEY FOCUS MAN! He's dating your daughter!"
Red snatched the can away from me and turned to Laurie.
"Laurie, what's going on?" He asked seriously.
Laurie already prepared an act. She shouted, "He'S MY BOYFRIEND DADDY!"
But as she saw Red's face, she shrunk back, and her tone turned more and more unconvincing.
"And he loves me...and...he's good to me and… we're happy together…"
She gave up at the end.
Red said angrily without looking at his daughter's new boyfriend, "Kelso, you have five seconds to get as far away from me as possible."
"But Red, what about our unspoken bond?" Kelso asked, looking innocent.
The unspoken bond was something Kelso thought would happen between a father and a guy dating his daughter.
He thought that since the daughter likes him, the dad would too. His words were, 'What kind of father wouldn't like the guy who's nailing his daughter'.
Red counted angrily, "ONE!"
Kelso was taken aback.
"TWO!"
Kelso scurried away. "I'll call you." He said to Laurie as he ran frantically.
All of us sat there silently, waiting for Red to calm down. Suddenly, a sound of beer can being opened caught Red's attention.
I smiled awkwardly and offered Red the beer I stole while Kelso was running away.
"Beer Red? You look like you need it." I handed him the beer casually.
Laurie leaned back on the chair, not having any appetite to eat. Eric was really scared of Red as his forehead vein kept throbbing.
"Oh yeah. Red. Someone hired me to write a script for a racing film. What kind of car do you think is the best for me to use on the racing scene?" I asked Red daringly.
Mrs Forman gestured to me to keep quiet, fearing Red would turn his anger to me.
He wouldn't beat me up for it, but I could get yelled at.
Surprisingly, Red stood up from the table, saying. "I've finished eating."
He turned, paused for a bit and said, "Corvette. A Corvette will be nice."
"I see. That made sense. I'll try to put a Corvette into the movie."
Red's anger dissipated a bit. As he left, Mrs Forman ran behind my back and kissed the top of my head.
"You're a nice boy." She complimented me and went to Red to talk to him.
…
Eric and I headed down to the basement after dinner.
"Man. How can you be so brave? I only thought about running away to save my ass from getting a foot in it when I saw him getting mad like that." Eric complained as we went down the stairs.
"Well Forman. You're going to need a pair of steel balls if you ever want to do that. Besides, I'm making him money. He can't get mad at me."
Eric paused and said, "That's true. Wow, money really does… make the world go around."
He laughed at his own joke. I sneered too.
Fez was in the basement alone, reading a magazine that was making his breath turn heavier.
"Fez, what are you doing?" I asked.
"What– Huh– Nothing!" He quickly hid the playboy behind his back.
I laughed and asked, "Is that the new issue?"
"Damn. It's like they knew we would be finished with the last issue already and prepared this at a perfect timing." Eric said, trying to pick up the magazine, but Fez put it inside his clothes.
"This is mine." Fez became territorial when it came to his porn.
Eric held his hands up, showing Fez he had no intention of taking away his stash.
"Man. I need to relax." Eric said and he turned to me.
Shortly after, we sat in a circle, smoking weed together.
"Now. This is the only way to take the pressure off." Eric smiled in contentment.
Suddenly, Jackie entered the room. We were shocked and tried to cover up the smoke, but stopped as we realized it was her.
"What do you want?" Eric asked her irritably.
"What were you doing?" Jackie asked curiously.
"We were smoking." I replied casually.
"Smoking what?" She asked again, raising an eyebrow.
"Cigarettes." Fez replied.
Jackie never smoked weed before and we didn't want her to know we were doing it.
She rolled her eyes and said, "I'm not dumb. I know what hash smells like. You guys do it all the time."
Eric and I glanced at each other.
"Can I join in?" Jackie asked suddenly. "I'd like to try it."
"Jackie. I don't think it's a good idea–"
She sat down and took the blunt from Eric's hand. Then, she took a drag.
I sat back down and just asked her to pass it around.
Eric shared the story of what happened at the dinner table, which made Jackie laugh.
"And the rest of dinner...was eaten in complete silence. The only sound was the dull throbbing of that vein in Red's giant shiny head." Eric chuckled.
"Boy, I'm glad I'm not Kelso." Fez said, looking around curiously. "Sure he's had sеx a lot and I'm still a virgin but…" His true thoughts came out. "OH I wish I was Kelso."
"No you don't, Fez. Being Kelso is like...knowing the truth behind all the deceptions of society but not being able to convince any of your fellow suburban clones that anything's wrong man!" I snapped. Then, I realized it. "No wait, that's me."
Jackie threw her head back as she cackled madly. "Man, I just totally forgot why I was laughing! Isn't that funny?!" She coughed slightly.
Eric smiled and said, "Okay...no more for the cheerleader okay?" He snickered, enjoying watching Jackie being high out of her mind.
Fez gazed at her and said, "Jackie you seem different. I don't know if it's your hair, your outfit...or your red puffy eyes…"
"She's Zen man. I've taken her under my wing. I'm running a dojo of coolness." I chuckled. "Jackie, demonstrate."
Jackie's mouth was full of Oreo cookies. She got the munchies.
" Oogly-googly." She raised her eyebrow slightly, smiling as the THC did its work. "Oogly."
I gave her a disappointed look and said, " It's her first day… so…"
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