After leaving the bald guy's new apartment, Mitarashi couldn't figure what kind of weirdo had dropped on her like a bolt from the blue. Looked like a normal civilian. But normal civilians don't tank shinobi strikes like that. And though she hadn't used chakra, it wasn't needed—the guy wasn't in any guard stance. Totally open. Yet her near-full-power kick felt like hitting a steel beam. Very weird...
It goes without saying that the Hokage's orders are not to be questioned; her job is simple—carry out the mission. However, the tokubetsu-jonin was gnawed by genuine feminine curiosity, which, as is well known, is extremely hard to rein in. And so she tried to find out the details she was interested in regarding the identity of her new acquaintance, asking Saitama straight out. To which he replied:
"I'm sorry, but it's hard to talk about anything on an empty stomach. Let's eat first?"
"Men," flashed through Anko's mind, "always thinking about stuffing their faces!"
The kunoichi decided to take advantage of men's natural hedonism and offered to treat the guy at one not-too-expensive eatery. That way, she'd be able to pry more information out of her new acquaintance. At least, that's what she was counting on.
Caped Baldy gave the girl a puzzled look, but as soon as the meaning of her words sank in, he perked up and broke into a grin. In his old world, among everyday things, Saitama loved discounts more than anything. But now, after giving it some good thought, the bald hero realized how wrong he'd been. After all, what he loved more than anything wasn't discounts—it was FREE STUFF!
The guy agreed right away, assuring the kunoichi that he'd tell her everything she wanted to know.
And so, sitting at the counter in Ichiraku, Mitarashi wanted to burst into bitter tears at the realization of her own naivety and stupidity. The nervous tic in her eyelid was acting up again. The thing was, Saitama was already devouring his tenth super-large (!) bowl of beef ramen.
The tokubetsu-jonin hadn't even paid the bald guy yet and was considering deducting the cost of this morning's breakfast from the stipend the Hokage had told her to pass on to him. But then Anko realized that such an act wouldn't be worthy of a true shinobi, and she also admitted that you have to pay for your curiosity.
"What's up with your eye? Some kind of disease?" Saitama asked bluntly.
Anko clenched her teeth, making a truly titanic effort not to beat the guy right there on the spot. She tried to plaster on the most charming smile she could manage. The people around appreciated her efforts, starting to tremble in fear and break out in cold sweat. Without realizing it, she'd unconsciously copied the smile of her former teacher.
"Eat up, Saitama. If you want, you can order more food. So, will you tell me who you are and how you ended up in our village?" From the tone of her voice, some of the customers decided to make a hasty retreat. Among those beating it were a couple of shinobi; they knew Anko, so they couldn't figure out if the bald guy was an idiot or if his balls were made of chakra-conducting steel.
"Thanks, Anko. You're so kind. You're the first one to treat me like this," Saitama patted his belly, then called out to the owner of the place. "Teuchi-san, five more super-large bowls of ramen!"
A pained groan escaped the girl, the kunoichi's fists clenched, and her knuckles turned white.
"As you wish, Saitama!" The restaurant owner turned out to be a man just over forty, average build with visible gray at his temples. He was dressed in a white chef's outfit with a short hat. On that very hat was the "Ichiraku" symbol. The man's face was lit with a bright smile; he seemed oblivious to the "boiling" of the young kunoichi and accordingly ignored the release of a fairly palpable burst of yaki.
The head chef was calm. There were almost never any disturbances in Ichiraku. Shinobi usually settled their scores at training grounds or, at worst, in deserted alleys. Ordinary civilians avoided irritating "old man" Teuchi with petty scuffles, since he had a weighty argument in the form of a hefty ladle, which he'd often wielded in his youth against ungrateful customers. And besides, you'd have to be completely off your rocker to piss off the guy who feeds you.
"You're shaking all over," Saitama noticed. "And now your other eye's twitching. You should see a doctor..."
Anko was already thinking she wouldn't hold out and would lay into the idiot right in Ichiraku. "How the hell does so much fit in you? Fifteen bowls! Won't you burst, baldy?! And I have to pay for it all! Do you even have a conscience, or did you bury it? And you still haven't told me anything about yourself..."
Her musings, which had turned into a full-blown cry from the heart, were interrupted by the appearance of a carefree blond boy in an orange jumpsuit:
"Hey, old man Teuchi! The usual for me!"
"Right away, kid. We'll get it ready," the head chef replied, passing the order to his daughter. "How'd the exam go? Can I congratulate you on getting your forehead protector?"
"Heh-heh-heh..." The blond approached the counter, pointing his thumb at his brand-new hitai-ate tied around his forehead. "Yeah, I'm a real ninja now. Though last night I had to listen to a lecture from the old man for attacking shinobi from my own village... oops. That's a secret..."
The boy caught himself, remembering that the Hokage had forbidden him from spilling the details of that night.
Suddenly, to his left gleamed a familiar bald head, in which Uzumaki recognized the object of his search—his future teacher. It didn't matter that Saitama hadn't agreed to teach the noisy kid anything. That didn't stop Naruto.
"Whoa, talk about luck, dattebayo. Imagine, Saitama-san, I was gonna head home, but I thought: gotta drop by Ichiraku, to old man Teuchi, and here you are... yay!" The kid practically jumped to the ceiling with excitement. "Didn't think I'd find you so fast. And in Ichiraku, too. Do you like ramen? I think ramen's the best food in the world. Is little sister Ayame here?.."
Saitama turned halfway toward the blond. With each subsequent word from the kid's mouth, the bald hero's usual stone-faced expression shifted to one of dismayed gloom. Anko, noticing the change, smirked slyly. After the second sentence, Saitama's brain stopped processing input from the noisy child. He wanted to shut the blond up, but the approving nods from the head chef and Anko's interested glances at the kid made him change his mind.
A lifesaving bowl of ramen appeared before the bald hero, and without a second thought, he started scarfing it down with both cheeks, trying not to get distracted by the little annoyance. The super-large bowl was soon empty. The guy leaned back blissfully in his chair and let out a hearty belch.
"...So what do you say? You agree?" Uzumaki finished his speech.
Saitama had let all the boy's words go in one ear and out the other. But since the guy didn't want to clash with a kid—and really just wanted him gone ASAP—he pretended he'd heard and agreed with everything Naruto said.
"Yeah, kid, totally agree."
Ichiraku rang with the kid's delighted squeal. Saitama turned to the child, scratching the back of his head in bewilderment, while the jinchuriki finally got a grip and bowed respectfully to the bald hero with a serious look:
"Thank you, Saitama-sensei! I'll do everything to become the strongest shinobi. And after that—I'll become Hokage!"
"Huh?" The bald guy started shooting confused looks at Mitarashi and Teuchi. A bad suspicion crept into his soul. "What's he on about?"
Anko's mouth fell open slightly in bewilderment. Then she closed it. For a moment, she looked like a fish flung onto the shore. The kunoichi couldn't wrap her head around what was happening. The owner, meanwhile, just smiled mysteriously, eyes half-closed.
The girl shifted her gaze from the little jinchuriki to the weird bald guy. A whirlwind of questions swirled in her head. But the main two were: How do these two know each other? And why did the little demon latch onto this Saitama and ask him to be his teacher?
"Maybe that's why the Hokage stuck me with the guy? Maybe he's a new jonin instructor from far away. Or some rogue ninja who escaped from another village and cut a deal with Sarutobi. Probably best not to ask too many questions for now. I'll find out soon enough..."
"Yeah, kid, totally agree."
"Well, now it all makes sense. Agreed so easily. Now I get it. He's definitely the teacher for the jinchuriki. Wonder what his rank is?"
Anko snapped out of her reverie at the bald shinobi's darting gaze. Yes, now she was almost completely sure the guy was probably a shinobi masquerading as a civilian. Moreover, he was playing the fool quite skillfully. The kunoichi had almost bought his idiot act. But maybe he was playing the fool on Hokage orders? That changed things. Mitarashi wouldn't try to ruin the show.
After Naruto's dramatic speech, the bald shinobi feigned confusion and asked what he was going on about. Anko decided to play along with Saitama:
"Well, Saitama-sensei, now you're the teacher of Konoha's most dangerous blond."
"Uh... what teacher?"
"Why am I dangerous?" the kid grumbled, offended. But remembering the Nine-Tails Demon Fox sealed inside him, he drooped sadly.
"You just agreed to be Naruto's sensei," Teuchi picked up, addressing Saitama. "On the house!" The Ichiraku owner set a bowl of ramen in front of Uzumaki.
The kid quickly forgot his question, hopped onto a stool, and gazed adoringly at the love of his life; all sad thoughts flew out of his head.
"Itadakimas!" the boy chirped energetically and started slurping the noodles with gusto.
Saitama stared at Mitarashi in shock.
"This is like a joke, right?"
"No. You just agreed to be Naruto's teacher. Were you even listening to him?" the kunoichi asked slyly.
"Thaaat..." Caped Baldy tried to recall what the little blond had been yammering about, but in vain. First off, he couldn't process such long-winded speeches; second, he'd been too busy with ramen at the time, so he was temporarily unavailable to the world around him.
"Of course I listened!" Saitama declared firmly.
"So, when do you start teaching him? Right after breakfast maybe?" Anko inquired, squinting slyly.
The bald guy nodded confidently, while shooting a questioning glance at the Ichiraku owner.
"Pss, Teuchi," he whispered, beckoning the head chef over with a hand. "What am I supposed to teach him?"
The man scratched his chin and ventured a guess:
"Well, probably taijutsu, ninjutsu, and something else shinobi-related."
Saitama spent a few moments trying to digest that.
"Huh?.. Teuchi, what language was that? What todzyutsu-nudzyutsu?.."
Caped Baldy was baffled. His school grades hadn't been great. And the last time he'd worked in an office, he hadn't exactly flexed his brainpower. And now—he had to be a full-on teacher! Of something shinobi-related, in which Saitama was completely clueless.
"Thanks, old man Teuchi. Your ramen's the best as always!" Naruto called out after downing the last of the broth. "Too bad the portion's kinda small..."
The boy's eyes dimmed a bit. Anko tried to cheer up the little jinchuriki:
"Aw, come on, kid, don't be sad. Your new teacher should treat you, to celebrate taking on a new student. Right, Saitama? You'll treat the boy to ramen, won't you?"
Mitarashi bared her teeth at the bald hero, whose eye started twitching after her statement. Noticing the amusing sight, the kunoichi added mockingly:
"What's wrong, Saitama-sensei? Seems like something's up with your eye. Maybe see a doctor? I know a medical ninja at the hospital."
"No need, I don't get sick," Caped Baldy missed the girl's sarcastic jab. He was frantically looking for a way out. He had no money. But he did need to treat him. Everyone was staring.
A new bowl of ramen appeared before Saitama. A lightbulb went off in the bald hero's head.
"Of course," the guy began in a serious tone. "As your future teacher, I'll treat you, Naruto." He slid his bowl over to the blond. "Dig in, straight from the heart! Don't forget my kindness. Teuchi-san will bring you three more of my portions..."
Anko smelled a rat. A moment later, Saitama continued:
"And Mitarashi Anko will pay for it all. She invited me here. And said she'd cover it!"
The kunoichi slapped her palm to her face and muttered a quiet curse. Her little revenge had failed.
"Thanks, Saitama-sensei," the kid's face lit up with a carefree smile.
Before digging into the new bowl, the blond asked:
"So when do we start training? I wanna be as strong as you."
"Hmm..."
It was slowly dawning on Saitama what kind of training Naruto wanted. He wants to be strong like him? It all depends on the kid himself. Though being too strong gets boring. And the path to that strength can be not just tough and thorny, but downright dangerous. Everyone has their limit. And to break those limits, you pay a heavy price. Saitama had to stay bald forever. What price would Naruto pay? And why does a kid need that kind of power? Does he realize what a burden of responsibility that is?
His head throbbed from the flood of thoughts, so Caped Baldy decided to shove the unnecessary pondering aside and deal with problems as they came.
"Finish your ramen and we'll head to training. But fair warning—they'll be brutal. So brutal that sometimes you'll wanna quit and give up, or even just die. You sure you're ready?" Saitama fixed the boy with a stern gaze.
His whole demeanor transformed. If before he'd seemed like a dim-witted fool, now there wasn't a trace of that silliness on his face. The bald guy radiated a sense of boundless power; you could feel the experience of a thousand battles.
Mitarashi and the other customers involuntarily shuddered, swallowing hard. And Naruto, looking his teacher straight in the eye, replied:
"I'll never back down! That's my ninja way, Saitama-sensei!"
Caped Baldy smirked. He didn't think the kid would actually hold out. He'd make the training impossible on purpose so the brat would give up quick and leave him alone. Having a student, especially such a little one, was too much hassle.
"Good. Eat up. You'll need the energy soon. I've got just one request."
"What?"
"From now on, call me... Master Saitama." A nostalgic smile bloomed on the guy's face, his gaze drifting far away, as if sinking into memories of bygone days.
"Hai! Master Saitama!" The blond bowed, then started inhaling the noodles and meat at an incredible speed.
The boy would strive with all his might to reach his goals. And no one could stop him. And the bald master would become Naruto's new guiding star, lighting his thorny path in this harsh shinobi world.
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: patreon.com/Granulan