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TOXIC
Kasalukuyang akong nasa byahe kasama ang aking butler patungo sa mansion ng aking ina hindi ko mapigilan na hindi dagain sa labis na kaba at takot nararamdaman.
I hate this feeling....the feeling i once knew before.
"You okay mi señorita? you looked pale," butler James asked me with his serious yet worried face tipid ko naman itong nginitian
"I'm fine, don't worry about me." mahinang sagot ko rito.
"You sure mi señorita? pwede naman po nating ikansela muna ngayon ang pag punta mo sa mansion ng mommy niyo," wika nito sa'kin nanlaki ang mata ko dahil sa biglaang sinabi nito agad naman akong umiling rito.
"N-no I'm fine!" pilit kong pinapatatag ang boses ko hindi ako pwedeng umatras dahil alam kong masisiyahan lamang ang demonyong asawa ng ina ko kapag nalaman nito na labis pa rin ang takot ko sa kaniya at hindi ko hahayaang sasaya ito.
Mariin kong ipinikit ang aking mga mata habang inaalala ang masamang panaginip... dalawang beses ko na itong napaginipan, una noong nasa eroplano ako, pangalawa no'ong nakatulog ako sa hotel and it scares the hell out of me, sino bang hindi matatakot kung magkadugtong lang ang panaginip mo na tila hindi ito naputol.
It wasn't a dream for me.... it's a nightmare, yeah a fucking nightmare for me to marry a stranger hindi pa ako natatakasan ng bait para magpakasal sa kung sinong lalaki.
Ilang minuto naming binaybay ang daan patungo sa mansion. Malayo pa lang kami ay tanaw ko na ang malaking mansion tindig pa lang nito ay masasabi mo nang bigating tao ang nakatira dito.
"We're already here mi señorita," wika nito sa'kin napabuntong hininga naman ako nang makita ang mga tao sa labas na nag aantay sa pagdating ko.
I maintain my cold expression, I can't let them use my weakness.
They will use it against me, once they knew I'm still the soft hearted Keyla they once knew.
As i slowly came out from my Bugatti, I heard people gossiping and talking about me hindi ko na lamang pinansin ang mga ito at nagpatuloy nalang sa paglalakad patungo sa pinto nang mansion kung saan naka abang ang ina ko at ang bago nitong pamilya.
Napairap na lamang ako sa hangin dahil sa nakita ko agad na umusbong ang galit sa loob ko ng makita ang nakangiting mukha ni Albert, ang taong kinamumuhian ko ang lalaking sumira sa masaya naming pamilya.
"Anak, K-Keyla i-ikaw na ba yan!," it wasn't a question but more on convincing voice.
Hindi ko ito masisi kung ganito na lamang ang reaksiyon nito for the past thirteen years, I never contact mom, I hate her for leaving us and choosing her family here in the Philippines.
Nanatili pa ring malamig ang expression ko,"Yeah, it's me,"
Agad akong niyakap nito ng mahigpit ngunit hindi ko ito niyakap pabalik nanatili lamang akong nakatayo habang nasa bisig ako nito at yakap-yakap ng mahigpit.
Tumikhim naman si Albert na siyang ikinatigil ni Mama sa pagkakayakap sa akin."Welcome iha," turan nito hindi ako umimik dito at nanatiling nakatingin lamang.
"Uhmm p-pasok na t-tayo? the food is waiting," wika nito.
"Yeah, the food is waiting on us," ngising usal nito sa'kin na siyang ikinairap ko.
Inilibot ko ang paningin sa kabouan ng mansion well kinda it's nice here, not bad at all turan ko pa sa aking isip.
Nang makarating na kami sa dining area maraming pagkain ang nakahanda sa hapag and there i saw an old woman and man smiling next to me the genuinely smile makes me feel at ease. Magaan ang loob ko sa dalawang matanda na nasa harapan ko.
"Ija have a seat," turan nito sa'kin kapag kuwan ay pinagsandukan ako ng matanda ng pagkain i felt so uncomfortable, i don't know why even tho sanay na ako na sinasandukan dahil gawain rin ito ni mommyla sa'kin but maybe because i barely know the woman in front of me.
"T-thanks," napatitig sa akin ang matanda at mangiyak-ngiyak akong tiningnan napakunot ang noo ko dahil sa naging reaksiyon nito.
"Is something matter?" tanong ko rito inilingan naman ako nito.
"It's just you say t-thank you," mapakla akong natawa sa itinuran nito i didn't know that it's a big deal for her, my small gestures.
"A-anak-"
"Stop calling me your daughter ma'am," i seriously said making the woman infront of me stunned to speak.
"I-im so s-sorry I know I'm at fault i-left y-"
"Shut up,"i said
No one tries to speak after the argument even my mom's husband was too stunned maybe because i change a lot and not the little girl anymore who's always afraid of them.
"Mom, I'm home!" someone shouted from the living room, a woman came out and goes on us.
The woman look at me shockly i looked at the woman blankly the woman's eyes was open widely and to my horror the woman knows me.
"K-keyla," the woman said utterly.
I look at her blankly like she's nothing but a mere trash.
'This bitch' i said on my mind.
"I'm Aleesa Bautista hope we get along," usal nito sa akin kitang-kita sa mukha nito ang pagkadigusto sa akin. I bet my life napipilitan lang itong pakisamahan ako, well the feeling is mutual usap ko sa aking isip.
I look at Aleesa's hand coldly nahihiyang ibinaba ni Aleesa ang kamay nitong nakalahad sa harapan ko.
"Aleesa umupo ka na," mom said to Aleesa.
Umupo si Aleesa kaharap ng inuupuan ko nakangiti itong humarap sa akin napa-arko naman ang kilay ko dahil rito.
"Aleesa saan ka naman galing?" tanong ni Albert sa maawtoridad na boses natigilan naman dahil rito si Aleesa,"Blue house, my boyfriend is there papa!"
"Hmm ayusin mo lang na hindi nyan maapektuhan ang pag-aaral mo," napayuko si Aleesa sa itinuran nito.
"How's your work?" natigilan si Aleesa dahil sa biglaang tanong nito sa kaniya.
"It's okay, Pa! The CEO—my boyfriend—said that I'll have my promotion by this week!"sagot nito tumango-tango naman rito si Albert, why do I feel na parang niyayabangan nila ako?
"Nag t-trabaho ka ba?" he mocked, his playful eyes locking onto me. "I guess not—because you're stupid like your father. Maybe you didn't even graduate from college. Hmm, lack of comprehension and stupid, just like him—"
I softly chuckled before taking a glance at the old man."You're right, sir. I don't work—because my company can survive without the CEO. I just thought I'd let you know, in case you didn't. I graduated as Summa Cum Laude, earning the highest Latin honor in college.
Nawala ang ngisi sa mukha nito na siyang ikinalawak ng ngisi ko, mapang-uyam ko itong tiningnan as i continue to speak.
"You're nothing compared to my dad. We are not stupid like you. Sir, you know nothing about us and also I'm not lack of compeherension but maybe you are, Stupido," i speak up in a casual tone.
I know it sounds so heartless but in my case he deserves more than that.
Everyone was too stunned to speak, Alberto's eyes open widely in shock
"I'll excuse myself now since I'm done eating my food."
All eyes are on me tumayo ako't nilisan ang lamesa rinig ko ang bulongan ng mga hilaw kong kamag-anak.
"What the hell is that?"
"Walang respeto. Albert, naku! pasensyahan mo na iyon walang utang na loob sa iyo"
"Ganun ba ang ugali ng mga nag palaki sa kaniya? ang gaspang ng ugali ng batang iyon, maganda sana kaso ang ugali kasing-sama ng ama niya,"
Tangina sinusubukan talaga ako ng mga 'to.
Ang huling nagsalita ang siyang nakakuha sa aking atensiyon huminto ako sa pag lalakad ng marinig ko ang mga bulongan ng mga kamag-anak kong wala namang ambag sa buhay ko pero wagas kong makapagsalita tangina kamo nila nilingon ko ito na siyang ikinatigil nito sa pag sasalita.
My dangerous cold eyes were filled with anger and hatred,"What did you say?" i ask coldy.
"Totoo naman ah, magaspang ang ugali mo katulad ng hilaw mong ama. Hindi na ako magtataka kong saan mo naman ang ugaling yan!" she looked at me before she continued to speak.
"Ano pa bang aasahan namin? ganun naman talaga kapag mayaman, magagaspang ang ugali. Katulad niyo na may demonyong ugali tsk…sa bagay ano nga ba ang aasahan namin sayo? eh isa kang Dela fuentes. You, and your family are all demons, territorial and don't have any respect, anything related to the word demon suits on you." wika ng tiyahin ni mama.
Mga gagong to.
Tila nabingi ako sa sinabi nito, i try to calm myself fucking down but this bitch is really trying me.
"Mga wala kayong kwenta!" sigaw nito sa pagmumukha ko may iilang pumipigil sa akin ngunit tinabig ko ang kamay nila.
That's it she just fucking cross the line. Now this bitch is doomed, well let's see who's the demon you're talking shit of.
"You're right, we're a demon, a territorial one," i continue to speak as i slowly walk into her,"My father raised me as a soft hearted but don't you fucking talk shits with me I am worst than my father, you doesn't have the rights to speak shit about my family and the way they raised me"
Pinaglandasan ko ito ng tingin mula ulo hanggang paa."You don't deserve my respect at all."
Everyone gasps nagliliyab na tumingin sa akin ang tiyahin ni Mama,"Why can't you respect us, me?! I am your mother's aunt don't you know that ha, Keyla!?"nagliliyab sa galit nitong sigaw sa akin pulang-pula na ang boung mukha nito dahil sa galit pagak akong natawa rito.
"You think I'll respect and be nice to you after disrespecting me and my family?shame," I softly chuckled before I rolled my eyes on her.
"Ikaw na bata ka, wala kang kwenta katulad ka lang ng ama mo!" tangina bakit ba nila laging sinasali si daddy?
"You're only twenty-two and yet—you have a bitchy attitude!"
Bumigat ang pag hinga ko sa sinabi nito tila nabingi ako sa mga inusal nito sa akin, i can't take it anymore i might freak out here and do something with this bitch.
"Never challenge my patience on you. I may look like I don't care but once I said everything I make sure I won't apologize for it later," I coldly replied.
Everyone was stilled when the woman in front of me tried to slap me but gladly i held her hands i gripped it hardly making the woman groan in pain.
"I can be really rude but I choose not to, so don't test me, my mouth speaks faster than my hand," i said while gripping the woman's hand even more.
"Y-you d-disrespectful bitch," pagak ko itong tinawanan.
"I don't respect people who doesn't respect me, you call it ego, I call it self respect," i said while grinning on her, I let the woman's hand go and push it slightly before walking out.
Everyone was stilled to speak."Walang respeto!" the woman speaks angrily.
I look back at the woman and smirk on her,"Whoever disrespect my family will never have my respect, as of you. Mas babastusin kita,"
I goes to the sofa and rest my head, it does makes sense now, they hate me like how they hate my father. 'papà' i silently murmured.
I stay stilled for a minute.
"Keyla, i am so sorry for that," i heard a woman's voice at my back I looked at her with my tired eyes, i didn't speak nor nod i just stay silent until i felt someone sat beside me.
The woman's focus is on me, i felt uncomfortable with the woman's stare, I looked at her coldly before speaking."Stop staring at me," napayuko na lamang ito sa sinabi ko before she starts to move a bit from me.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to makes you uncomfortable!"
I stared at the woman's eyes full of hatred written on it,"Why? why did you choose them instead of us? aren't we worth fighting for?" hindi ko na
napigilang hindi itanong ito after so many years of waiting for her damn explaination, the woman's stare at me with teary eyes.
"It's not like that K-Keyla—"i cut her off.
"Really? then what?" pagak akong natawa bago nagpatuloy sa pag sasalita.
"You—you don't know how hard it is for us to survive every fucking day without a mother beside us, you don't know the feeling being bullied just because your mother left you for another man, you don't how it feels to wait for every fucking day for your mother's return without having any assurance if she's really coming back, you don't know anything yet you still choose to left us hanging!" mariing usal ko sa kaniya bago ito iniwang mag-isa rinig ko ang mahihinang hikbi nito and it's breaking my heart.
But my pride was too much.
"I just love you that's why I did that," sigaw nito habang namumungay na tumingin sa akin i look back on her,
"Love? where's the love there?" ipinikit ko ang mata ng maramdamang nag-iinit ang gilid ng mata ko i can't let them see me weak,"Too much love is toxic that's the truth."
"Ma, can you-oh your with your daughter," ani ng babaeng kakarating lang.
I chuckle softly before looking at her with my indimating eyes,"Yeah, she's with her LEGAL DAUGHTER," napaawang ang labi nito sa sinabi ko kita ko ang pasimpleng pag kuyom ng kamay ni Aleesa,"What are you saying I am her legal daughter and you're just—"
"Oh the legal one? Are you sure about that? Hmm as far as I know you're the bastard daughter here," aniko.
Agad na tumayo sa pagitan namin si Mama,"Stop it you two! you two are my daughter—" agad na pinutol ko ang sasabihin nito.
"I am no daughter of anyone," I looked at her meaningfully.
"Matagal na kitang inalisan ng karapatan sa akin, my mom is dead already," i slightly smiled at them.
"That's why I am no daughter of anyone" tinuro ko ito at mainam na tiningnan
"That girl is your daughter, not me!" wika ko bago nilisan ang sala.
Pagkatapos ng sumbatan na naganap hindi ko na alam kung saan ako dinala ng paa ko nakita ko na lamang ang sarili ko sa isang lugar na malapit sa dagat kitang kita mula rito ang magandang tanawin, kitang kita ng dalawang mata ko ang pag lubog ng araw na tila nilalamon ng dagat mapait akong napangiti rito.
I just silently pray that everything will be better, the pain I've been feeling is so heavy, i wanna cry and be wasted.
"Wipe your tears gorgeous, a beautiful lady like you doesn't deserve to cry," baritonong wika nito.
Napalingon ako sa may ari ng boses na iyon, a gorgeous man welcome my eyes.
The man give me handkerchief inabot ko naman ito at pinunasan ang luha ko, the man sat beside me.
Mainam ko itong tiningnan, i muttered "Thank you" and the man just smiled at me.
"What's your name gorgeous?" tanong nito.
"I'm Keyla Brielle Dela Fuentes, and who are you Mr. Unknown guy?" i answered.
The man chuckled at me,"I'm Gael Zayne Tanner," i just stared at this gorgeous man in front of me.
"Mind telling me why were you crying hmm?" wika nito na siyang ikinayuko ko.
"uhmm i-its" napakagat ako sa aking ibabang labi the man cuffed my hands and caressed it softly.
"it's a long story but to make it short I don't have a good relationship with my mom and her family,"
"It's okay. Brie, i understand. Maybe it's giving you a hard time, just know that I'm always here for you," Gael said.
How can this man be so good to me, tila hinahaplos ang puso ko sa sinabi nito sa akin, i think i found my kakampi.
I sobbed like a baby in front of Gael."I don't have the right word to thank you. Gael,"
Gael silently chuckles before cupping my face and kiss my forehead. I was stunned by what he did but i can't deny that i also love it.
"Friends?" i asked.
"Friends," Gael answered with a smile.
We talk about random things, and now we look like we already knew each other for decades.
"Brie why are you so quiet? something is bothering you am i right? hey gorgeous tell me what it is. Maybe I could help you," he said.
Napaiwas ako ng tingin dito,"Gael why does it seem like i know you for decades," busangot kong tanong rito tinawanan naman ako ni Gael dito.
"Hmm maybe because we're too comfortable with each other," wika nito sa'kin tinampal ko naman ang braso nito sabay tawa.
Natawa na lamang si Gael sa ginawa ko, i was laughing so hard while Gael was staring at me tumigil ako kakatawa ng maramdamang kanina pa nakatingin sa akin si Gael.
"Why are you staring at me?" tanong ko
Gael spoke."Keep that smile of yours, it makes you more prettier," saad nito agad namang namula ang pisngi ko sa inusal nito.
Ramdam kong nag-iinit ang pisngi ko sa sinabi nito kaya nag iwas ako ng tingin dito,"Stop it" i said.
Nagugulohang tumingin sa akin si Gael " Why? oh is my little gorgeous blushing? did i just make you blush?" napapantastikuhang usal nito.
Tumango naman ako sa sinabi nito "Yes, so stop it now" inihilig naman ni Gael ang ulo niya sa balikat ko.
Ilang oras pa kaming nag-usap at nasa ganung posisyon ramdam ko ang bahagyang pag bilis ng tibok ng puso
ko.
"Brie, may i know why you are crying earlier" he asked while staring right into my eyes.
"Brie, you can rant on me, tell me, I'm all ears out I'm ready to listen to your random chikas, rants or whatever it is," tinanguan ko ito ramdam ko kung paano magtiwala kay Gael ng boung puso, i don't understand myself, i have trust issue but when it comes to Gael madali lang para sa akin na magtiwala kahit kakikilala ko lang rito.
"Can i really rant on you" namamangha kong tanong rito.
Ramdam ko ang pagkasabik sa kalooban nang makitang tumango si Gael.
I start to rant on him, i cry while telling him everything, Gael was just listening to me.
After that when i was satisfied, Gael just hugged me and kept me feeling warm and safe, i felt so safe in Gael's arms.
"You're such a brave woman, Brie. I admire you for that, from what you tell me, you've been through a lot for all those years you've been suffering but you still smile warmly on them, from now on I will always be here for you," he said assuring that i will feel loved and that moment i find peace that i'd been searching for years.
We stay like that for hours.
"Brie, it's late already," tiningnan ko ang aking selpon it's seven o'clock already hindi ko napansin ang oras gabi na pala i sighed and looked at Gael.
"I will go home now,"
Gael gazed at me."I'll drive you home Brie," aangal na sana ako ng hinila na ako nito papunta sa kotse nito na nakagarahe."But my car—"
Masuyo akong tiningnan ni Gael,"I'll talk to someone to drive it safely to your mansion,"
I nodded and let him drive me home, Gael played music Die with a smile by Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga we started to sing and vibe on the song.
Gael was fun to be with.
After an hour we finally arrived at our mansion safely, i was intently looking at it with my usual blank expression.
"We'll see each other soon,"
Napakunot ang noo ko rito,"Sana naman? at kailan?" i asked fuck i sounds so desperate.
"Basta," wika nito bago tuluyang umalis nakatingin lamang ako sa kotse nitong papalayo.