Yup... you readers should know that this dumb virgin that was addicted to gacha will die, but we don't know how or why.
Today was the day that Ethan Cross, the main character, was going to die, but he didn't know it yet.
At the age of twenty-seven, his life could be summed up in three words: aggressive, virgin, and average.
He had a dead-end job at a convenience store where his boss yelled at him for breathing too loudly.
What about his love life? Of course, it's not there.
Then how about his bank account? That shit was a joke that wasn't even funny anymore.
But none of that mattered right now because Ethan had just saved up enough money to get ten pulls on the Celestial Maiden Banner in his favorite gacha game, Eternal Fantasy Chronicles.
He was sitting on the toilet in the convenience store bathroom during his break, and his hands were shaking.
This was it.
This was the time when his luck would finally change. He could feel in his bones and groin that today was going to be different.
He muttered, "Come on, come on, just one fucking SSR, please..." as he tapped the screen of his phone with the desperation of a man who had already spent his rent money twice on anime girl jpeg images.
"I've used all my savings already just to do seventy pulls without one single fucking SSR!"
"The pity system needs to start working soon, and I hope it does... I really don't want the new character to be one that is already being powercreeped!"
"AND PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE... give at least one new SSR I want the most!"
The screen showed the same animation again. Bronze. Bronze. Silver. Bronze. And... another silver.
His eye moved while tapping his head against the phone. "Are you fucking serious right now, bruh...?"
Five more pulls, and the results were still the same trash. Characters who had already reached the highest level were equipped with weapons he had no intention of using. The game was making fun of him, and he was sure of it.
Ethan stood up so quickly that he almost dropped his phone in the toilet. His boss was banging on the door and yelling something about customers waiting, but Ethan couldn't hear anything because his heart was racing and he felt like he was going to die.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his phone in hand and his eyes glued to the screen. All he needed was just one more pull, and it was enough.
He had just enough premium currency left for one more pull and then called it a day, and he knows that his fate today is going to change with that pull.
He pressed the button.
The animation began differently this time with light that is golden.
"OH SHIT! HERE IT IS...!" He screamed while his heart raced.
Then his boss put a hand on his shoulder. "Ethan Cross! Put the goddamn phone down and get back to work!"
Ethan jerked away, as if his phone was his firstborn child and he wanted to protect it. He tripped over a sign that said "wet floor" that wasn't there a second ago.
He flailed his arms around, and his phone flew out of his hand in a perfect arc.
Everything moved slowly.
The phone fell through the air. Ethan grabbed for it quickly, as if his survival relied on it.
His body bent in a way that was definitely not normal for human spines. He ran into a display of canned goods.
The whole thing fell on him like punishment from God for his sins.
All of the cans fell from the sky. One hit him right in the temple, and another one hit him in the stomach.
He was pretty sure that one went right into his open mouth while he screamed.
The last thing Ethan Cross saw before his vision went dark was his phone screen, which was on the floor three feet away and showed a bronze-rank dagger.
Not even a silver.
"Fucking bullshit..." His last thought was angry and bitter. "I really don't like gacha games... they're all scams."
After that, everything went dark.
It turned out that dying wasn't the worst thing that had ever happened to Ethan Cross. That honor still went to the time he told his high school crush he liked her, and she laughed so hard she cried and then asked if it was a dare.
But death was definitely in the top five.
The next thing that happened was strange.
There was no bright light, no tunnel, and no St. Peter at the gates of heaven asking him to explain his browser history. There was nothing there, though.
It was dark, empty, and too quiet.
Then a voice came out.
He didn't hear a voice with his ears. It felt like someone was sending words straight into his brain, which was either very divine or very scary.
"Ethan Cross... twenty-seven years old... gacha addict... virgin..."
"The cause of death was a terrible failure of luck that was so bad it was almost cosmic comedy."
"Hey, what the fuck?!" Ethan wanted to protest, but he couldn't because he didn't have a mouth or a body.
He was just kind of floating around in nothingness, feeling like the universe was out to get him.
"You had a hard life before this one..."
"You had a lot of pain and bad luck, and you couldn't get a single SSR even though you spent the same amount of money on gacha games as a used car."
"Your life was truly a tragedy."
"Okay, that was just mean..."
"You will get a second chance because your life and death were both so pitiful... you will be reborn in a world full of magic, monsters, and adventure."
"You will get a system that lets you call on strong warriors to help you on your journey, well, let's say it's for your bad luck redemption."
"W-Wait, what...?!" Ethan was surprised to hear that. "Don't tell me that I'll get the real main character treatment this time by enjoying my second life in a fantasy world!?"
"Correct... and I hope that in this second chance of life, you'll live to be something that mattered."
"Okay, okay, just get me there already!" Ethan was communicating in his mind all this time.
Ethan begins to feel a sense of excitement, but he lacks a physical form to respond with enthusiasm. "Oh man! Oh man! I can't wait...!"
"This sounded good... wait, no! More like sounded great!"
Perhaps his fortune was finally shifting.
"But," the voice went on, and Ethan's hope died right away. "There is a limit."
"Your soul's karmic imprint and your browser history are set up in a way that allows you to call forth only one type of warrior."
"Fuck me..."
"Good luck, Ethan Cross. Or should I say, Lucian Luxfall."
Before he could ask what the hell that meant, the void burst into light.
Ethan Cross, who's now called Lucian Luxfall, woke up and couldn't breathe.
His lungs and head hurt, and his muscles hurt all over, like he had just run a marathon with angry geese chasing him. He blinked quickly to clear his vision and then realized three things right away.
First, he was lying in a bed that was way too comfy to be his awful futon.
Two, he was looking at a ceiling made of plaster and wood beams instead of drywall that had been stained by water.
Three, his hands looked different. It was younger and smoother.
It's not covered in the calluses of a man who had been gripping a phone too tightly for years while crying over gacha pulls.
"What... the... actual fuck...?"
His voice didn't sound right. It was higher in pitch, and it's not as defeated by life.
Lucian sat up so quickly that his vision blurred. He looked around in a panic.
What he saw was a small room, but it was clean. Furniture made of wood with a dresser that is easy to use and a window that looked out on buildings that looked like they belonged in a medieval fantasy RPG.
He started to breathe faster. "No fucking way this shit is real..."
"It feels like I'm having a stroke... or maybe I was in a coma and this was all a strange dream that happened because my brain was hurt in the can accident!"
"Let me just..." He pinched himself. "Aw!"
He pinched himself even harder. "Aw, fuck! It still hurt!"
"Wait... okay, okay! Don't worry... There must be a logical reason for this."
And... there was no logical reason for this at all.
Lucian got out of bed and fell right away because it seemed like his new body had longer legs than he was used to. He hit the dresser and saw himself in a mirror.
The person who was looking back at him wasn't Ethan Cross.
It was a young man, probably 25 years old, with sharp features, messy dark blue hair, and bright blue eyes that looked way too awake for someone who had just died and come back to life in a new world.
"Wow," Lucian said quietly. "It wasn't a dream..."
"I really did die when a can of beans hit me, and now I'm in another world..."
He should have been freaking out a lot more. He should have been yelling, crying, or doing anything else besides standing there and staring at his new face.
But really, after twenty-seven years of constant failure and disappointment, this was the least surprising thing that had ever happened to him.
"Okay," he said to himself. "This time, I'm not ugly at all and have the handsome man privilege."
"That's something alright..."
As soon as he said the words, reality decided it wasn't done with him yet.
Without any warning, a blue window that was see-through appeared in front of his face.
"OH FUCK!" Lucian screamed and fell back, hitting the dresser and sending a ceramic bowl crashing to the floor, where it broke into a dozen pieces.
The window stayed in the air, happily ignoring his fear.
[Welcome, Lucian Luxfall!]
[SSS Gacha System Successfully Activated!]
[Congratulations! You have been granted the power to summon legendary warriors to aid you in your new life!]
Lucian looked out the window, his heart racing. A system of gacha.
Yes, of course. This world would definitely have a gacha system because it seems like the universe looked at his past life and thought, "You know what would be funny?"
Another window opened.
[Unique Restriction Confirmed: Only Bikini-Type Warriors can be summoned.]
[System Analysis Complete: Host is a virgin with zero romantic experience and a browser history that suggests a preference for female companionship in minimal clothing.]
[Don't worry! This system will help you in your journey to finally stop being a pathetic virgin!]
[Good luck! ♡]
Lucian's mouth opened and closed back again. His face got very red.
He could hear the universe laughing at him from far away. "Are you making fun of me right now?" he asked, looking at the window.
"Seriously, I just got here and you're already making fun—no! It's more like you're roasting!"
The system didn't answer but simply displayed a cheerful message and a heart emoji, mocking him instead of functioning.
Lucian put his hands over his face. "Hah... it's the first day and it's already comes to this."
His second life had only been going on for less than ten minutes, and it was already a mess.
He sensed that the situation would only deteriorate further. Or even better.
He really couldn't tell anymore.