Gregory Murphy hadn't come to school that day, Damian had realized that after the end of the second period. People were already wondering why, but he knew exactly why. Gregory was probably ashamed, too scared to face him after last night. Damian was still stunned, Gregory was the last person he expected to be gay, or at least into him. He would have never guessed in a million years that the boy who had constantly bullied him for his sexuality would ever try to kiss him.
He glanced towards Ethan who caught his gaze and flashed him a smile. He mirrored the expression, then turned towards Amanda. She had her head bent on her desk, probably asleep. He didn't blame her, half the class was at the verge of dozing off as well.
After a long period of waiting, the bell finally came alive signalling the end of the period. Damian got up, he wasn't going to be part of the next class, so he quickly got his books and bag ready.
He glanced at Amanda, who was still slumped over her desk, cheek smushed against her notebook. He gave her shoulder a gentle nudge.
"Hey, I'm heading out to the library. See you at lunch?"
She lifted her head just enough to mumble, "Mmm. Bring me coffee if they have any. Love you."
"Love you too, zombie." He smiled and slipped out the door.
The hallway was already crowded, bodies moving in predictable patterns toward lockers and bathrooms. Damian kept his head down, weaving through the flow until he reached the quieter corridor leading to the library. He needed silence. A book, anything to help him forget about last night.
He almost made it to the library, but as always the universe had to make him suffer a little. At the far end of the hallway, leaning against the water fountain with that effortless posture, stood Zayn Hale. He was talking to someone, a boy whom Damian recognized to be a part of the racing team.
The senior straightened the second he saw Damian, a warm smile spreading across his face. He pushed off the wall and started toward him.
Damian's steps faltered. He felt the familiar flutter in his chest, the same one that had made him accept the bonfire ticket in the first place. But it was quickly smothered by the memory of Ethan's words: "He's making out with a chick at the back."
Those words had hurt him more than he had expected. Yes, he had a silly crush on Zayn, and while he didn't expect Zayn to like him back or anything, he expected a little bit of respect from him. To completely abandon him in a place where he barely knew anyone just for some minutes of pleasure was deeply insulting, and Damian was done with letting people insult him and get away with it.
He didn't smile back. There wasn't anything to smile about, and he made sure Zayn Hale understood that.
Zayn slowed, smile dimming slightly. "Hey. You left early last night?"
Damian stopped a few feet away, arms crossed over his chest like armor. "Yeah. I did."
"I looked for you. Couldn't find you anywhere." Zayn rubbed the back of his neck, sheepish. "I was gonna bring you that hot chocolate, but… I got held up."
Damian nodded once. "Thanks for the drink, by the way." His entire voice was laced with sarcasm, enough to make the senior winced.
"Look, I'm sorry. I got carried away with something —"
"I could tell," Damian cut in quietly.
There was a brief silence between them, the hallway noise seemed to fade for a second, and Zayn blinked, clearly caught off guard by the edge in Damian's voice.
Zayn tried again, softer. "I didn't mean to ditch you. I just—" He reached out, bumped Damian's shoulder lightly, the same casual, flirty gesture he'd used before. "You weren't too bored after all, though. You were with your boyfriend, right?"
Damian's eyes flashed. He'd seen that photo. "Ethan's not my boyfriend."
Zayn's hand dropped. "Oh. I just thought…people were saying—"
"People say a lot of things. You don't have to believe everything you hear." Damian took a step back. "I have somewhere to be."
He turned before Zayn could respond, shoulders tight, and walked away. He didn't look back. Although Damian felt like he might have been a little bit disrespectful, he was still proud of himself for taking control and doing what he felt was right. Zayn was clearly a straight dude, and while Damian hoped that it wasn't exactly true, last night had told him everything he needed to know. He didn't want to waste his time chasing after something he didn't have, so it was best he kept his distance from the senior.
Behind him, Zayn stood frozen for a long moment, confusion and regret settling over his features. He knew he was wrong for last night, but he hadn't expected Damian to act so cold, especially towards him. The boy had been a bit rude, and while he should have felt offended being dismissed by his junior, Zayn only felt bad. He'd always had his eyes on Damian for a while now, he didn't particularly know why, but it was slowly driving him insane.
Left with no other choice, he turned and left for practice, it didn't make sense for him to be sulking over his junior.
Damian kept walking, faster now, until he pushed through the library doors. The cool, hushed air hit him like a balm. He found an empty table in the back corner, dropped his bag, and sank into the chair.
He didn't pick up a book. He just sat there, staring at the grain of the wood table, replaying the last minute over and over.
Zayn's smile. Gregory's kiss. Ethan's steady presence. Amanda's sleepy grin. For the first time since waking up in this body, Damian felt the full weight of being ordinary, not just the vulnerability, but the mess of feelings that came with it. Crushes. Hurt. Confusion. Hope that refused to die even when it should.
He pressed his forehead to his folded arms. He had come here hoping to escape reality, but it was easier said than done. He couldn't escape this even if he wanted to, it was his life now, the one that he had wished for.