Tanmay--
(Currently me and Shreya are in situation where we can't just avoid it, and it is continuous process, parents of both side unlikely to give up easily until we find suitable partner. And I have this idea. I need peace. Alone time without interference of anybody, enough alone space, without getting bothered. But I can't be. ( Yes, I know people love me. But I am tired of every emotion. I just want time to sit alone. To recover.) But I am sure. I can't love or have that kind of romantic relationship with anyone anymore. Even I can't form any close bonds with anyone. But Shreya is different. She's bright, her life is sorted and have specific goals, I know she will find potential match for her. So final choice is her. Either she approve my idea or not.)
Tanmay- Don't you want freedom from all this. I have an idea. But it's totally on you. I can only suggest.
(She blinked and looked at me intensely, a faint line appeared on her forehead, the kind that said stop circling, just say the main point, will you !?)
Shreya- Just get to the point...Tanmay..
Tanmay- Let's get married, with marriage with agreement contract of two years. Clear terms. And then we are free from everything.
She looked at me confusion, and then she smiled sarcastically.
Shreya-Huh...I can understand. You said you were on pills for mental health. You should visit doctor again. You're not sane. Trust me this is not joke.
She stood up, about to leave. I caught her hand to stop her. Then we seated again in chair.
Tanmay- I am not joking. I am not forcing anything on you. But you believe you will find the partner who's all chaos free and understand everything? it's like finding diamond in mountain of coals. Think if you can go to Europe, later you can find intelligent and suitable partner there, without any force. Like this agreement will give you freedom right away. Only two years or less than that, whenever you want to end. Just both of us, can leave this city and then will decide.
She looked at me seriously, her expression firm...
Shreya - Are you listening even what you're saying tanmay? You lost your common sense, you know situation of divorced women? The way they look at women is changed by then. They treat them different, like she's open to any shit, some old age uncles approach out of pity, world is not safe place for those women anymore.
(I basically sense pain in her eyes and gesture, that remain single and happy is way more safer, like waiting for right one. It's her personal decision. Shreya is a that kind of person.I am feeling guilty right now that how can I come up with this pathetic idea to suggest. )
Tanmay- Hey, hey ( she got so angry that even her cheeks are red now and eyes like she's about to cry) Sorry Shreya ...I really don't have any intention to hurt you ever. I was just thinking a way that can lead both out of this. I didn't even thought that far like you. I know you're way more mature and intelligent in this terms.
She just pressing and playing with her bracelet, couldn't able to meet my gaze. As if she's trying to hide her emotions.
Tanmay- look. I am certified fool ok. You don't need to feel bad because of that. Just a heedless idea.
Shreya - Do you really believe I can't attract anyone decent?
Pain in her eyes is visible. My intention was not at all to make her feel down about herself. And she's so out of her mind to think that way. She's beautiful beyond the mark. As I am depressed and I just tired of defining beauty of someone, I don't look at anyone that way, but Shreya is unique, her physique, her skin tone, behaviour everything is perfect. But people nowadays are not that capable. Feels scam to me. I myself loved someone for years in end got cheated. Shreya never felt that feeling so she's still new to this, hope is there. And I got no rights to destroy that.
I just grab my head. After destroying my whole hair, I looked at her.
Tanmay- You're capable. Ok. You're enough beautiful or I can say way up beyond the normal level or perfect. My suggestion nothing to with you're personality or capability. Experience of love for everyone can be different. I wasn't lucky enough Shreya. So I just come up with this rational idea.
She smiled finally.
Shreya- it's very unkind thing to say to a person who's never been in relationship. Don't pull this stunt infront of anyone.
I smiled.
Tanmay- ok. My problem is mine. I hope you find the best as the way you want. Do you believe in love that much ?
She looked outside the balcony. I must say she's lucky. View is so good. It's about time of sunset.
Shreya- If I answer rationally or practically, I don't believe in marriage without sincere understanding of each other in every aspect. Emotional, mental, physical, spiritual or even opinion of understanding world. Trust and loyalty is base.Everything is important. Just go in flow and do the duties is not something I can do in relationship without I feel loved or protected. So marriage without love is not for me. And I never found anyone yet.
She put her head on that fluffy cushion. Very beautiful way to understand the relationship. I wonder why she never find anyone yet.
We both stood up finally, it was nice talking her. World is not bad place when people like her are still there. ( TBH- Don't assume that I like her, she's just a good friend that's all. Whom I can be honest)And then we left her house. I told my family that she's good friend, but for marriage, we are not on same page.
Papa- but tanmay, we all thought you both talked good, we took it positively only.
Tanmay- it's more like you and Gupta uncle meet in afternoon and return late at night. Gossips between friends..
They understood also accepted as we were friends from childhood.
But somewhere in my heart, I want her to accept this knowing how cruel this can be for her, not to hurt her, like what if I help her to find her partner.... There are so many options. Atleast we could've gotten out of the city. Will her parents allow her to do job in Europe, I don't think so before marriage. And I can understand also...they are worried for her. It's not about her freedom but safety also. But my option is not great for her. I hope she really find someone she hoped for.