Tanmay--
Continued...
I had seen pictures of her with Abhinav before. She said they were just friends.
Then one night, at a rich club party, I saw the truth.
She was there. With him. Kissing him in a corner. I couldn't believe my eyes.
At first, she denied it. Said she was drunk. But when I confronted her,
Tanmay- (my face was burned with anger, my eyes stung) Why prachi ? Why? From how long has this been going on ?
(There wasn't trace of guilt on her face, almost as if she had been waiting to be caught)
Prachi- It's been more than two months. I am dating him.
Tanmay - ( I held her hand and Showed her the matching rings, we were wearing. A promise we had carried for years.) So what about this !?
Prachi - (She looked at it once, then she slipped it off... and placed it in my palm... Still there was no regret in her eyes, only confidence)
Tanmay, you're being so dramatic. We were not that serious.
( I couldn't hold it anymore and I grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards me )
Tanmay - It's been more than nine fu*** years...how dare you say it wasn't serious? Did you forget everything? ... you were the one who always begged me, don't ever leave me, please don't cheat on me.... how could you do this to me, prachi?
( Our forehead mets, I felt so weak as my body going lump, my heartbeat still fast hoping for proper answers, I felt metal on my tongue, but other side I don't see anything agitated more than irritation and wanted to go out of my grip)
( Let me go, Tanmay...)
Tanmay - Why ? Now I am the third person? You want to go back to him ?
( She finally pulled free, and we stood close, breathing same air, but not touching.)
Prachi - Drop the drama Tanmay. Yes, We were in relationship. But I never felt for you the way I feel for him. He is handsome. Capable. Successful. He takes care for me.He wants me. With you, it was always about principles, boundaries. You were too safe. You never really wanted me.
( Words keep coming...that each word broke we had cherished. It felt like my hands were tied, and my home is burning and I could do nothing to stop it..)
Prachi- Our relationship was only pitiful responsibility for you. It started because my grandmother asked you to stay. After she died, you became so clingy, too involved with my life. I felt suffocated Tanmay.Those boundaries, they trapped me.
(I stood there. Stunned. For years, I had lived my every second thinking of her, how she would feel, how to protect her. How to make our relationship graceful. I spoke to her almost every hour,every day. And now she was telling me I never wanted her.
Was physical intimacy everything? Would love without crossing limits kill her ?
Pitiful responsibility...huh...she had never been burden to me. I loved her. And in that moment I realised she had already left long before tonight.)
Tanmay- It hurts you know. The shit you're saying right now. are you aware of them or you're still drunk ? About boundaries or physical intimacy atleast you should've talk to me once.if you had just talked, do you really think, I wouldn't have found the way ??we would do anything to solve it prachi... I would've married you right away...my family had already accepted you. Whatever came after, I would've handled it. I wasn't afraid of the consequences.
Prachi - See that's your problem. You want safety. Grace.You are not daring like abhinav. He doesn't live by rules.
Tanmay- Yes my upbringing is like that prachi. My father build everything by his own, he's a dignified govt officer, not a businessman. I was raised to protect dignity of my family and our relationship. I can't just let my desires run wild just for thrill of the moment. And you… what's happened to your way of thinking now?
(She's unfazed. Her tone was flat, as if we were arguing over something trivial, her expression didn't lie, she's hating me. And that hurt the most. When you see disgust and hatred in eyes that once loved you. You realised how little you mattered.)
Prachi- Tell me what you want to hear so you'll finally give up on all this and go away for forever.
Tanmay- ( I smiled hollow, sarcastic curve of my lips) Tell me the truth. Tell me you're lying. If you really want to gone forever, look into my eyes and say, you don't love me.
Prachi- I am not lying. This is the truth. But in reality, You just can't accept the fact he is better than you in success and in bed...
(I wanted to slap her. Not out anger but out of disbelief.This couldn't be my prachi...These words from her felt foreign, as if she were different person... She always respected dignity , restraint and values. Now I felt like I was talking to stranger wearing her face.)
Tanmay - That b**** wasn't there for you for years. I was. I saw your tears, sleepless nights, your pain. and I saw your healing too. Your happiness, your growth. We lived that together. Nobody in this world can compare to that.And have you forgotten how your mother died? Are you really repeating the same cycle? How can you be this cruel?
She looked straight into my eyes, No hesitation , No guilt. Just a cold settled confidence, the kind that comes after a decision has already been made.
Prachi- We are not married Tanmay. So it's over now. Glad you know this now. Now I don't have to pretend anymore.I can openly date him. And for your clarity, I was never attracted to you the way I'm attracted to him. So yes, it ends today. Goodbye.
I hope you find someone who matches your status. We were never a match anyway.
That was it.
Years of love collapsed. And my existence also....
I was a man who had always held his dignity high, my self respect, my self awareness,I guarded them carefully,
But that night, I let them fall.
Tanmay: Prachi... ( I called her, sobbing as tears streamed down.
I hoped, that Maybe my tears could soften her stone heart, but I was wrong. All along.)
She turned around.
(I went down on my knees. My vision blurred, tears slipping free as I pressed my palms together.)
Tanmay- My love. My Prachi. Please… give us one last chance. I'll prove myself. I'll set aside every boundary, every principle, whatever you want. I'll forget the betrayal, everything. Just come with me now, and things will be okay. Please don't give up on us. I'm begging you. I have nothing in my life except you. How will I live without you? Do You really think you can trust them?(His father and Abhinav) Are you sure? Leave them prachi, they are not for you. You know your father for years. Don't make mistakes.. just leave it. Come with me.I assure you will never regret choosing me.
She looked at me for a long time.
Then she stepped closer, took my arms, and made me stand.
Her eyes were blank.
Prachi: I don't love you anymore, Tanmay. I'm sorry.
( And I realised I was never an option to choose. I was an option to be set aside easily when the time came.)
That was it.
I came back to present. My eyes were wet ( I never cried, but after that night I cry often.) My Vision blurred. I wiped my tears and glanced at time. Already 3'o clock. Better. Now I could sleep.