Chapter 28: The Reality Crayon and the Seven-Year-Old Sovereign
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
Today, the sun didn't just rise; it did a celebratory backflip over the horizon and sounded like a trumpet fanfare. [TA-DAAA!]
I woke up, bounced off my ceiling three times, and landed in my slippers with a rhythmic thump-zip-slide. It was Eri's birthday. The first real birthday she'd ever had—and since she was officially a Midoriya now, that meant the "Rule of Three" was in effect: It had to be Big, it had to be Bold, and it had to be entirely Borderline-Illegal in terms of physics.
"WAKE UP, SCRIPT! WE'RE ON A TIGHT SCHEDULE!" I yelled at my alarm clock, which promptly sprouted legs and ran out the window in terror.
I zoomed into the kitchen, my legs turning into a literal blur of white-gloved motion. The "Triumvirate of Matriarchs"—the Moms—were already in full battle formation.
My mom, Inko, was currently floating four feet off the ground, subconsciously using her quirk to stir six different bowls of batter at once. She was humming a tune that sounded suspiciously like a Disney medley.
"Sunny, dear, move the floating table to the left! Mitsuki-san says the lighting isn't 'aggressive' enough for the streamers!"
Mitsuki Bakugo was standing on a ladder, stapling decorations to the ceiling with such force the staples were probably entering the neighbor's apartment. "I want this place looking like a five-star gala, or I'm blowing up the appetizers!" she roared.
Sato-san, Aqua's mom, was sitting at the table, gracefully pouring "Divine Blue Punch" into a fountain. "Don't worry, Mitsuki. I've blessed the napkins. They won't catch fire even if your son loses his temper."
"Good luck with that," I chirped, snapping my fingers. [POP!] A giant, ten-foot-tall banner appeared that read: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERI (CAUTION: TOON ZONE IN EFFECT).
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
The guests arrived at 2:00 PM. I say "arrived," but it was more like a clown car emptying into our living room.
The elevator doors opened, and the entire Chaos Crew spilled out.
Mina led the charge, wearing a hat that looked like a giant strawberry. She was followed by Denki and Jirou, who were carrying a speaker system that was already vibrating with a high-energy pop track. Tokoyami followed behind, Dark Shadow wearing a tiny birthday hat and looking deeply embarrassed about its own existence.
"Where is she?!" Mina screamed, her pink skin shimmering with glitter. "Where is the Birthday Queen?!"
Momo stepped in last, looking at the strawberry-flavored walls and the sentient furniture with a look of practiced acceptance. She was carrying a gift wrapped in paper that looked like it cost more than my first bike. "I hope I'm not late. I had to calculate the optimal gift-to-joy ratio."
"You're just in time, Princess!" I yelled, sliding across the floor on my knees. "The VIP is about to make her entrance!"
I looked at Izuku and Bakugo, who were standing near the door. Izuku was checking his "Birthday Schedule" notebook with religious intensity. Bakugo was holding a giant, angry-looking stuffed shark.
"If she cries because this thing is too scary, I'm killing you, Nerd," Bakugo hissed at Izuku.
"She won't cry, Kacchan! It's... it's a 'Guard Shark'! It's very practical!"
"SHUT UP!"
Then, the bedroom door opened.
Eri stepped out. She was wearing a dress that Inko had spent three days sewing—white with little red apples embroidered on the hem. Her horn was shining, and her eyes were wider than saucers.
The room went silent. [CRICKET CHIRP.]
Then, the Chaos Crew erupted.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
The sound was so loud it literally blew the hats off the boys' heads. Aqua lunged forward, grabbing Eri in a giant hug. "Behold, tiny mortal! I, the Goddess Aqua, have brought you the gift of... myself! And also this bag of very expensive chocolates I found in Momo's car!"
"Aqua! You stole those?!" Momo gasped.
"I REQUISITIONED THEM FOR DIVINE PURPOSES!"
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
"Alright, alright! Settle down, you animals!" I yelled, pulling a giant spotlight out of my pocket and aiming it at the center of the room. "Before we eat the cake that is currently trying to escape the oven, I have a special presentation."
I walked up to Eri and knelt down. I reached into my sleeve and pulled out a small, unassuming yellow box.
"Eri-chan," I said, my voice soft. "The world used to be a scary place for you. People tried to use your power to break things. But in this family, we don't use power for that. We use it for the Gag."
I opened the box. Inside was a single, chunky yellow crayon.
"This is the Reality Crayon," I explained. "I've spent the last week hard-coding it with the Toon Force. Whatever you draw with this becomes real for ten minutes. But here's the secret: It can't draw anything sad. It can't draw anything sharp. It only draws Happy."
Eri took the crayon, her fingers trembling slightly. She looked at me, then at the floor. She knelt down and drew a crude, wobbly circle with two long ears.
[POOF!]
A cloud of pink smoke erupted from the floor. When it cleared, a small, round rabbit made of literal marshmallow was sitting there. It let out a soft squeak and hopped onto Eri's lap, smelling faintly of vanilla.
Eri's face lit up with a glow that could have powered the city. "It's... it's soft."
"It's Toon-logic, kid!" I grinned. "Now, draw us a party!"
[The Chaos Montage - First Person POV]
The next three hours were a fever dream.
Eri went wild with the crayon. Within twenty minutes, the living room looked like the inside of a candy-coated dimension.
She drew a "Rain-Cloud," and it immediately started raining lemon-drops over the snack table.
She drew a "Music-Note," and it turned into a tiny, floating jazz band that followed Jirou around, playing a baseline that Jirou actually started jamming to with her ear-jacks.
She drew a "Big Dog," and a golden retriever the size of a minivan appeared, which Bakugo immediately tried to 'alpha' by staring it in the eye. (The dog licked him, and Bakugo disappeared into a puddle of slobber and rage).
Mei Hatsume was in heaven. She was following the crayon-drawings around with a scanner. "THE MOLECULAR STABILITY IS NON-EXISTENT! IT'S PURE NARRATIVE ENERGY! SUNNY, GIVE ME THE CRAYON! I NEED TO SEE IF I CAN BUILD A JET ENGINE OUT OF WAX!"
"Back off, Goggles!" I barked, pulling a 'KEEP AWAY' sign out of the air.
Toga was sitting in a corner with Eri, teaching her how to draw "Surprise Knives" that actually just turned into bouquets of flowers when you threw them.
"See, Eri-chan?" Toga giggled, throwing a 'knife' at Denki. [POOF!] A dozen tulips hit him in the face. "It's way more fun when they don't bleed!"
Momo was trying to organize a game of Musical Chairs, but since Eri had drawn the chairs, they were all sentient and kept running away whenever the music stopped.
"Please! Sit down!" Momo pleaded, chasing a Chippendale chair through the kitchen. "The rules of the game require you to be stationary!"
"STILLNESS IS A MYTH, PRINCESS!" the chair yelled in a gravelly voice.
In the middle of it all, the Moms were having the time of their lives.
Inko was crying (her tears were actually small, glowing pearls that rolled across the floor), watching Izuku show Eri how to draw a "Hero Cape" that actually made you fly.
Mitsuki was arm-wrestling Sato-san, the table beneath them groaning as their sheer 'Mom-Power' threatened to crack the foundation of the building.
"I tell you, Sato," Mitsuki grunted, her muscles bulging. "If my brat doesn't win the Sports Festival, I'm drawing a 'Discipline Paddle' with that crayon!"
"Oh, don't be so harsh, Mitsuki," Sato-san laughed, not even breaking a sweat. "Aqua just lost the 'Pin the Tail on the Donkey' game to a literal shadow. I think we've reached peak humiliation already."
I looked over. Aqua had been blindfolded and was currently trying to pin a tail onto Tokoyami's cloak while Dark Shadow hissed at her.
"I CAN FEEL THE DONKEY SPIRIT!" Aqua screamed. "STAY STILL, DEMON EQUINE!"
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
The climax of the day was the cake.
My mom had made a three-tier strawberry shortcake, but thanks to the proximity of the Toon Force and Eri's "Music-Notes," the cake had developed a personality. It was currently wearing a top hat and singing a barbershop quartet version of "Happy Birthday" to itself.
"ALRIGHT, EVERYONE! CIRCLE UP!" I shouted.
We all gathered around the singing cake. The room was a mess—there were lemon-drops everywhere, a marshmallow rabbit was sleeping on All Might's head (he'd shown up late in a very bad disguise), and the furniture was still humming.
Eri stood in front of the cake, her eyes reflecting the glowing candles.
"Make a wish, Eri-chan," Izuku whispered, leaning down.
Eri looked around the room. She looked at the Moms, laughing over their tea. She looked at the Chaos Crew—this group of weirdos, vigilantes, heroes, and goddesses who had stormed a fortress just to bring her home. She looked at me.
She didn't close her eyes. She didn't need to.
"I wish..." she whispered, her voice clear and strong. "...that the script never ends."
[DING!]
A giant, golden "WISH GRANTED" icon appeared over her head, sparkling like a supernova. Eri blew out the candles, and the cake didn't just stop singing—it exploded into a thousand perfectly-portioned slices that floated into everyone's hands.
"Now THAT is efficiency!" Momo noted, taking a bite.
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
As the sun began to set, the party wound down.
The sentient chairs had finally fallen asleep in the corner. The lemon-drop clouds had dissipated. The Chaos Crew was sprawled out across the living room, suffering from a collective sugar crash.
Denki and Mina were passed out on the giant dog. Bakugo was still scowling, but he was secretly petting the marshmallow rabbit. Aqua was snoring loudly, her head resting on a pile of empty chocolate wrappers.
I was sitting on the balcony, looking out at the city. The Fourth Wall felt thin tonight—soft and warm, like a well-worn blanket.
I felt a small hand slip into mine.
Eri was standing there, holding her Reality Crayon. She looked tired, but for the first time, she didn't look like a victim. She looked like a kid who was ready for tomorrow.
"Sunny-nii?" she asked.
"Yeah, kid?"
"Is every day going to be like this?"
I looked at the "Script" in my head. I saw the UA Entrance Exam coming up. I saw the villains lurking in the shadows. I saw the "Serious" arcs waiting for us.
Then, I looked at the Reality Crayon in her hand.
"Not every day," I smiled, ruffling her hair. "Sometimes... it's going to be even weirder."
I reached out and painted a giant "THE END" in the night sky. But then, I winked at the reader, grabbed a cosmic eraser, and rubbed out the period, replacing it with a "..."
Because in the Midoriya house, the comedy is never really over. It's just getting ready for the next take.