Chapter 27: The Comedy Was Over (It Was Not)
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
The comedy was over. The legend had begun.
I stood in the center of my workshop, my arms crossed, my gaze fixed on the middle distance with the kind of soul-piercing intensity usually reserved for protagonists in a season finale. The air hummed with the weight of destiny. The very atoms of the room seemed to hold their breath, waiting for my next move—a move that would change the world forever.
"Sunny-nii? Why is your face doing that?"
I blinked. The "Destiny Filter" over my eyes shattered like cheap glass. I looked down. Eri was standing there, holding a half-eaten candied apple, her head tilted at a perfect forty-five-degree angle.
"Doing what, Eri-chan?" I asked, my voice dropping an octave from its intended 'Legendary' pitch.
"You look like you're trying to remember if you left the oven on," she said innocently. "Or like you're smelling something very, very stinky."
I stared at her for a long second. Then, I reached into the air, grabbed the floating text of my internal monologue—specifically the line 'The legend had begun'—and crumpled it into a ball of paper. I tossed it into a nearby trash can, which let out a loud [BURP] and sprouted legs to walk away.
Verdict: Legend postponed. Comedy reinstated by unanimous vote (Eri's vote counts as five).
"You're right, kid," I chirped, my body snapping back into a vibrant, bouncy shape with a loud [BOING!]. "The mood was getting a bit too 'Season 3.' Let's bring back the slapstick!"
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
The next hour was a blur of pure, unadulterated chaos.
Since I was still working on Eri's birthday gift, I decided to lean into the "Toon-Force Experimentation" phase. I turned the floor into a giant trampoline just to see if Eri could bounce higher than a three-story building (she could, and she loved it).
Aqua, sensing an opportunity to be the center of attention, decided to "bless" the trampoline.
"Behold!" she shouted, waving her staff. "I shall imbue this bouncy-surface with the Grace of the Heavens!"
The floor didn't just become bouncy; it became sentient. Every time someone jumped, the floor would shout a compliment in a booming, operatic voice.
"YOU HAVE EXCELLENT CALVES!" the floor bellowed as Mina did a triple-flip.
"YOUR SPIRIT IS RADIANT!" it screamed at Eri.
Mina was treating the whole thing like a personal rave. "Sunny! Make the walls taste like strawberries! I want to see if the flavor profile changes when I'm upside down!"
"You got it, Pinky!" I snapped my fingers. The wallpaper turned into a giant, edible mural.
Eri was laughing. Not the small, hesitant laugh she had a week ago, but a loud, gasping-for-air laugh that made every bone in my body feel like it was made of sunshine. If the price of that laugh was a sentient floor and strawberry walls, I'd pay it every day.
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
In the middle of the madness, I realized I'd made a tactical error. I pulled out my phone—which was currently vibrating in the shape of a terrified fish—and dialed Momo.
"Midoriya-san?" Momo's voice came through, sounding suspiciously like she was in the middle of a high-stakes tea ceremony. "Is everything alright? I hear... is that a choir singing about calves?"
"Don't ask, Yaoyorozu. Listen, I realized I didn't give you the full brief. It's Eri's birthday in a few days. The Crew is having a pre-celebration tonight. You in?"
There was a silence on the other end so long I thought the fish-phone had died.
"A... birthday?" Momo whispered. "For the child? And you're inviting me? To an event involving the 'Chaos Crew' and... UNO?"
"Especially UNO," I grinned. "Bring your A-game, Princess. The 'Adequate' energy won't save you tonight."
"I... I shall be there," she said, her voice gaining that competitive edge I loved. "I shall consult my tactical manuals on card-based psychological warfare immediately."
Hook, line, and sinker. She was officially in too deep.
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
Now, I knew Izu-chan and Kacchan were busy with All Might. I knew they were probably having a 'Very Serious Talk' about 'Inheriting the Flame.'
I decided that talk was taking too long.
I reached into the air, grabbed a giant black ink-pot, and painted a hole right on the strawberry-flavored wall.
"Alright, boys! Group chat invite incoming!"
I dived into the hole.
On the other side, All Might—in his skeletal form—was mid-sentence, looking Izuku in the eye. "Young Midoriya... you can become a—"
I burst through the floor beneath them like a mole on caffeine.
"SURPRISE!"
All Might let out a wheeze that sounded like a punctured tire. Izuku shrieked and fell backward. Bakugo, who was standing a few feet away looking broody, immediately sparked his palms.
"WHAT THE HELL, GAG-BOY?!"
"Sorry, Kacchan! No time for destiny! We've got a gym session and a birthday party to attend!"
I grabbed All Might by the belt, Izuku by the collar, and Bakugo by his pride. I yanked them all into the hole.
"PHYSICS!" Izuku screamed as we tumbled through the 2D void. "SUNNY, THE LAWS OF MOTION ARE CRYING!"
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
We landed in the UA gym—or the version of it I'd "improved."
All Might stood up, dusting off his oversized suit, looking like he'd just been through a centrifuge. "Young... Young Midoriya... where are we? And why is that bench press looking at me with such judgment?"
"Welcome to Strength Testing, All Might!" I announced, wearing a coach's whistle that was actually a live bird. [TWEET!] "Since Izu-chan is gonna be a 'Hero,' he needs to show off what my training did to him! And Kacchan needs to vent before he pops a vein!"
"I'LL VENT ON YOUR HEAD!" Bakugo roared, but he immediately stepped up to the 'Power-Tester'—a giant machine that looked like a carnival game but was made of reinforced titanium.
Bakugo hit it. BOOM. The needle didn't just hit the top; it spun around so fast it flew off and embedded itself in the ceiling.
All Might's eyes widened. "The boy... his raw power is staggering."
Then it was Izuku's turn. He didn't use a quirk. He just stepped up to the 'Treadmill of Regret'—a machine that adjusted its speed based on your heart rate and guilt.
Izuku ran. He ran with a focus that made the machine groan. He didn't stop when it hit Mach 1. He didn't stop when the treadmill started crying for mercy. He just kept going, his eyes set with that same selfless fire he'd shown in the alley.
"He has the instinct," All Might whispered, clutching his side. "And the physical vessel is... surprisingly robust. Sunny, what have you done to him?"
"I gave him a toon-grade workout, Toshinori!" I chirped. "A hundred pushups! A hundred sit-ups! And ten kilometers of running away from a sentient boulder every day!"
All Might stared at the group of teenagers—the exploding one, the green-haired one, and the one currently eating a piece of the gym floor.
I should have chosen a normal successor, he thought. Then, he looked at Izuku's determined face and deleted the thought. No. This is better. Terrifying, but better.
[Sunny Midoriya POV]
"Alright! Shift change!"
I painted a giant circle on the floor. "Next stop: The Yaoyorozu Estate! Everyone, pile in!"
We dived in. We did not land gracefully.
We emerged in a parlor so tasteful it made my eyes hurt. I faceplanted into a rug that probably cost more than my house. Bakugo landed on top of Izuku. All Might landed in a very expensive-looking armchair.
Momo was standing there, holding a tray of tea. She looked at the pile of teenagers on her floor, looked at the skeletal Symbol of Peace, and simply sighed.
"You're four minutes early, Midoriya-san."
"Early is the new 'Adequate', Princess!" I yelled, popping up.
The rest of the Crew arrived via various methods. Mei came through the window (don't ask). Toga walked out of a closet. Aqua emerged from a decorative fountain.
"UNO TIME!" I screamed.
The rules were simple: No powers. No cheating. Trash talk encouraged.
It was psychological warfare.
Momo sat at the head of the table like a general. "I have analyzed the deck. There are 108 cards. The probability of you holding a Wild Card is 7.4%."
"Statistically," I countered, laying down a Draw Four, "you're about to have a very bad time."
Momo didn't flinch. She laid down a Draw Four of her own. "I noticed your card count is suboptimal, Mr. Midoriya. Much like your fashion sense."
The room went silent.
"OHHHHHH!" Mina screamed. "THE PRINCESS HAS TEETH!"
Bakugo was vibrating with rage, staring at his hand of cards. "WHO PUT THE 'SKIP' CARD ON ME?! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"
Tokoyami sat in the corner, staring at a single black card. "The darkness of the 'Reverse' is a lonely path. I shall turn the tide of fate."
Aqua was sobbing. "WHY ARE ALL MY CARDS YELLOW?! I HATE YELLOW! IT'S THE COLOR OF DEBT!"
Eri sat on a stack of cushions, watching the "Gods" fight over colored pieces of paper. She was beaming. She was safe. She was home.
All Might sat in the corner, nursing a cup of tea Momo had given him. He watched the Chaos Crew. He watched Bakugo and Izuku arguing over a 'Draw Two.' He watched the Toon-Boy laughing as he got hit by a flurry of 'Skips.'
This is the future, All Might thought. It is loud. It is confusing. It is a walking OSHA violation. But...
He looked at Eri's smile.
...it might actually be okay.
"Midoriya-san," Momo said, her voice cutting through the noise as she laid down her last card. "UNO."
I stared at the table. I stared at her.
"I'm calling it," I whispered. "She's a villain. We've birthed a monster."
Momo smiled—a real, wide, slightly wicked smile. "You started it."