ARCH: L- LAST WISH ... HAYSSST! It feels just like yesterday. Time sure flies faster than I anticipated...
ROB: HEY... Stop being sarcastic...
ARCH: Oh, come on... Chill, Gramps..... I'm trying to think ... Nuh, I give up... Gramps, I want my appearance first.... Can't wait to... eat these fruits.....
ROB: WHY the rush....
ARCH: Shhhhh, lower your voice, Gramps. Someone might hear, or worse, steal my treasures.... haaa.
ROB: SIGHH....(rubbing his forehead) [I'm too old for this job]. So, Human, we're doing your appearance. Tell me what your preference is. As detailed as possible.
ARCH: HUH... Gramps, are you serious..... Your hand is kinda shaky.... Too risky.
ROB: What the..... A human like you dares to doubt my craftsmanship?
ARCH: NGL..... yup 👍 ...
ROB: Hmmp... Don't be afraid ... My skills are top-notch. Even Michelangelo's David and Bernini's Ecstasy of Saint Teresa are nothing but a child's play.
ARCH: He's definitely bragging... Damnnn his Aura? It's rising [Gramps +999 ]
ROB: Now stand still.. or should I just give you a Shrek face and put a spell on you----
ARCH: Not this true love kiss again .. I'm sorry for doubting your skill, Gramps ... I've long known that your skills are untouchable, a paramount unseen an---
ROB: Enough with that fake flattery.
ARCH: Ahem, okay Gramps. First, I want long white hair....
ROB: Okay. Stand still....
(ROB snaps his fingers, and the head of the white walking, ghost-like creature stops. Suddenly, long white hair sprouts on top of his head, cascading and flowing down to his back until it reaches his waist. The white hair shimmers like a moon glowing in the night.)
ARCH: EXCUSE ME, Author, but what's up with this Chinese shenanigans?
AUTHOR: Huh... an MC like you wouldn't understand the art of poetry.
ARCH: What the ...
ROB: Next....
ARCH: I want to have a high nose, red eyes, and a chiseled jaw line—not the muscular type, but more like a donghua MC... Yup .. that's it. Gramps. Make me a handsome man, but I want to have some cuteness at the same time... Can you accomplish that, Great ROB? (blinks) ..
ROB: Ughh, this brat is really getting into my nerves... Fine .... FINE... I'LL SHOW .... what true art is. (Wait, that sounds familiar..)..
[2 HOURS TIME SKIP]
ROB: Okay. It's done .. Hm..hmm..hmmm. You look gorgeous. And as for your... request: handsome, with some cuteness... Really top-notch...
ARCH: Ok... good work, Gramps.. Do you perhaps use a mirror here? Can I borrow one..
ROB: Nope, we don't use such thing.
ARCH: Then .... I can't see my own face.... Nooooooooo! How would I know if my appearance is appropriate to look at? Don't tell me, Gramps, you're pulling some prank on me... huhuhuhhhuhh...
ROB: (Actually, we do have some divine mirrors here, but your appearance will be my surprise gift ..heheh.. Serves you right for belittling my craftsmanship). Ahemm. Human, don't panic. With that face of yours, you'll definitely have a lover..
ARCH: What, really, really, really, really.... now.... that's what I'm talking about! Thanks, Gramps, you're the best ..
ROB: No problem x3
ARCH: What else do I need?? Hmmm.... What about money..... Now that we're talking about currency, what year or era does this MHA have?... HEY, STUPID AUTHOR, ANY CLUES?
AUTHOR: Wait... around the early-to-mid 2020s or later.
ARCH: So technologies are pretty advanced...
AUTHOR: Nope..... way more advanced than you think.
ARCH: So spaceships and flying cars are everywhere, and alien invasions exist... Molly...
AUTHOR: What's with this MC? Is he onto some cracks?
ROB: HEYYY, Human... Stop wasting my time, what's your last wish?
ARCH: I wish to become the richest man alive ..... Yeah, give it to me, babyyyyyy-
ROB: Denied....
ARCH: What the f..... How, Gramps.. Whyyyyyy.. How's that even possible.....
ROB: Because your background story is already set... It's on the script.
ARCH: Script..... Hmmmm.. HuuuuuuhhH. Gramps.. you betrayer... All this time .. from the beginning .... you also have this stupid script ....
ROB: Yup.
ARCH: Then what's the point of all this crap....
ROB: It says here, it's for chapter 1 and 2.. 👍..
ARCH: Arghhhhhhh..... nuh, I don't even want to think about it anymore....
AUTHOR: 👍
DIRECTOR: 👍
ARCH: Shut upppppppp....(while punching the air)...
[3 Minutes later ]
ARCH: Ok. That felt good..... So, Gramps, for my last wish, of course: The one and only, the Greatest Golden Finger to ever exist... Give me my SYSTEM ...
ROB: (reading the script) Ok, but it says here that your system is a regular, simple life-style skill tool kit system.... ( silence)
ARCH: HEYYYY, AUTHOR! WHAT'S WITH YOUR NAMING SKILLS!
AUTHOR: Boy... what do you know... Can't you see that I named your system and described it at the same time..
ARCH: Huhhhhhh... That's actually makes sense..
AUTHOR: See? Told ya.. 😉
ARCH: TEN WISHES COMPLETE... (Stretching his imaginary limbs).. Ah, just coming up with those wishes was hard as f....
ROB: Look who's talking... Now prepare for your departure, Human..
ARCH: OKKKKKK! Just need to eat these devil fruits.... wait... waitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt..... HEYYYY, AUTHORRRRRRRRRR ....
AUTHOR: What.. what's happening?
ARCH: Don't, "what's happening" me .... You f***ing know that eating a second Devil Fruit is typically suicide.
[ moment of silence. ARCH collapses and memories of his past life flash before his eyes ]
ARCH: Huhhh .... what was that... Who dares.. How dare you disturb.... HEY, Shut up!
AUTHOR: Ah sorry, boy, that's our narrator 😉
ARCH: Narrator?..... When did we have him or her or they or them... or JUST SHUT UP! YOU DAMN NARRATOR, I'M IN A BIG DILEMMA RIGHT NOW.....
NARRATOR: Like, chill, bro.
AUTHOR: Yeah, calm down, boy.
[ after 4 seconds of calming down]
ARCH: NOW YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE.... I'LL USE MY TRUMP CARD HERE... I SUMMON YOU ....
[ a minute of ARCH imagining a black magic circle appearing right before his eyes.]
ARCH: COME FORTH! HEAR MY CALL... DETEIKEEEEEEEEEEE! PLOT ARMORUUUUUUUU!
--silence --
DIRECTOR: This is madness... I can't believe it ... Did he just summoned the greatest uno reverse card!?
AUTHOR: Yes, he did summon that device where a character, usually the protagonist, survives impossible situations, injuries, or death because the story needs them to continue, often defying the established rules of their world or their own capabilities for convenience.
[ What's gonna happen now? Out of eagerness to survive, ARCH D. NEWGATE summoned the Power he shouldn't have? The so-called PLOT ARMOR-chan? ]
To be continued.