IRys screamed as she slashed through the air, her twin crystal swords leaving trails of light and darkness that carved through space itself. Each swing sent beams of holy and demonic energy spiraling toward the ship, punching holes in the deck that immediately began auto-repairing.
"DUAL NATURE BARRAGE!" Her voice echoed with both angelic hymns and demonic roars. Light beam. Dark beam. Light. Dark. The ship's hull couldn't repair fast enough. Wooden planks exploded into splinters, only for nano-machines to reconstruct them seconds later.
"This is insane!" IRys panted, wings beating furiously to maintain altitude. "How much did they spend on repairs?!"
"THIRTY BILLION DOLLARS!" The chorus came from multiple directions now, a running joke that was rapidly becoming everyone's least favorite phrase.
Below, Hololive Myth had formed a proper battle formation.
Ina stood at the center, her tome open, eldritch symbols crawling across her skin and clothes. Her eyes glowed pure purple as she channeled powers that should not exist in this dimension. Around her, thousands of Takodachis had materialized—an army of tiny octopus creatures, each wearing tiny armor and wielding tiny spears. They formed ranks, columns, battalions. An actual military force made of cute mascots.
"WAH!" Ina thrust her hand forward. The Tako army charged.
Ame stood beside her, bubble gun—now modified with temporal technology—aimed at the ship. "Left flank, circle formation! Right flank, pincer movement! Center column, direct assault!" Her detective mind processed battlefield tactics like she'd been born for war. "Ina, have your second wave hold back for the counter-attack!"
"On it!" Ina's tentacles writhed as she directed her forces with inhuman precision.
Gura had planted herself at the edge of the destroyed building, trident raised high. The ocean in the distance responded to her call. Water rose in massive columns, snaking through the air toward the battle. But she wasn't just controlling water anymore—she was weaponizing it.
"A!" She thrust her trident forward.
The water hardened instantly, transforming into crystalline spears of ice. Dozens of them. She fired them like missiles.
CRASH. CRASH. CRASH.
Each spear punched through the ship's shields—they were weakening—and stuck into the hull like frozen arrows.
"TASTE THE OCEAN'S WRATH!" Gura shouted, then immediately looked embarrassed. "Why am I yelling my attacks? When did we start doing that?"
"Since the plot demanded it!" Ame called back, not taking her eyes off the battlefield.
Calli and Kiara fought as a duo, their powers complementing each other despite their opposite natures. Death and rebirth. Fire and souls.
Calli rode a wave of screaming spirits upward, her scythe cutting through cannonballs mid-flight. Each swing harvested the "life" from the projectiles, turning them into harmless powder. "SOUL REAPERS NEVER MISS DEADLINES!"
"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!" Kiara flew circles around her, phoenix flames erupting from her body. Her sword slashed through the ship's rigging again, but this time she targeted the repair bots themselves. Little mechanical arms trying to fix the ropes were incinerated. "HA! CAN'T REPAIR WHAT'S BEEN PHOENIXED!"
"'Phoenixed' isn't a word!" Calli shouted.
"IT IS NOW!"
On the ship's deck, Marine watched the EN assault with growing respect and concern. "They're getting too close! But this is the best thing we ever spent on!"
Pekora nodded, deflecting Elizabeth's sword strike with her enchanted carrot. "Hm! Peko! You're right! They're gaining the upper hand on us, peko! That wouldn't slide!" She backflipped away from the Justice leader, landing near the ship's wheel. From her pocket, she pulled out a carrot-themed whistle—ornate, ridiculous, and glowing with power.
She blew it.
The sound that emerged wasn't a whistle. It was a war horn.
Reality tore open. A portal ripped through space directly above the ship, purple and orange light spilling out.
Gura's mouth fell open. "Oh, what now?!"
Pekora struck a dramatic pose, one hand on her hip, the other pointing at the portal. "My Nousagi! Your princess calls the legion!"
The portal erupted with movement. Wild rabbits—hundreds of them—came bouncing out. But these weren't normal rabbits. They wore armor. Tiny, perfectly fitted plate mail and chainmail. They carried spears. Actual weapons. And they bore banners emblazoned with symbols and text: "LEAGUE OF THE HARE ALLIANCE."
They landed on the deck, on the rigging, on every surface of the ship, and began organizing themselves into military formations with disturbing efficiency.
"WAH!" Ina's eyes widened. "They're using two-group attack!"
Ame's tactical mind processed the situation instantly. "Clever rabbit. Pekora always had ridiculous tactics that somehow work." She turned to the rest of Myth, her detective coat billowing in the wind created by the battle. "Focus on the rabbit army! The other EN members can focus on the ship!"
"UNDERSTOOD!" The Myth members chorused.
Ina's takodachi army surged forward, meeting the Nousagi forces in the middle. The clash was adorable and terrifying. Tiny "wah" sounds mixed with tiny "peko" sounds as mascots and rabbits engaged in miniature warfare.
Calli dove into the fray, her scythe reaping through rabbit ranks. "Sorry little guys, nothing personal!"
Kiara's flames created a wall, forcing the rabbits to redirect. "Come on! Is that all you've got?!"
Gura's water spears continued firing, but now half of them targeted the rabbit army while the other half went for the ship.
At this point, the Hololive EN HQ was barely recognizable. The building that Kaela and the ID branch had lovingly reconstructed three months ago was now rubble again. Walls were gone. The roof had caved in multiple places. Craters dotted the ground. Fires burned in the corners.
Except for the kitchen. Somehow, impossibly, the kitchen remained pristine.
Bae sat in her chair, plate of pancakes balanced on her lap, watching the battle like it was pay-per-view. "That was a good tactical move. Classic Pekora."
Sana munched on her own stack, nodding. "The rabbit army gambit. Bold. Effective."
"Right? And look at Myth's counter-formation. Beautiful."
"Ame's really in her element."
"She was born for this."
They continued eating, providing commentary to no one but themselves.
Meanwhile, what remained of Hololive Council regrouped.
Fauna's hands glowed green with nature magic. The destroyed landscape around the HQ responded. Trees erupted from the ground—not normal trees, but massive living constructs of wood and vine that grew at impossible speeds. They twisted and reached upward toward the ship, their branches forming bridges and pathways.
Mumei ran across these living bridges with perfect balance, her civilization magic crackling around her hands. "HAAAAAAA!" She fired blast after blast of yellow energy. "TAX BEEEAM!"
Each beam hit a Nousagi or punched another hole in the ship's hull.
"What do those beams even do?!" Someone—might have been Bijou—shouted.
"GIVE TAXES!" Mumei called back cheerfully.
"THAT'S TERRIFYING!"
Fauna directed her trees to wrap around the ship itself, trying to immobilize it. "We need to stop the ship somehow!"
"I've got an idea..." Kronii's voice came from behind them.
Fauna turned. "Kronii?! You're back?"
The Warden of Time pulled herself up from yet another crater, her time-manipulation powers flickering around her body. "It was a minor setback, don't worry. But I've got a plan." She looked up at the sky where Shiori was still dodging projectiles on her floating book-carpet. "SHIORI! MAKE COVER!"
Shiori gave a thumbs up while simultaneously barrel-rolling to avoid a missile. "ON IT!"
Hololive Advent had scattered across the battlefield, but they fought with coordination that suggested hours of practice—or pure chaos that happened to work.
Shiori scribbled furiously in her tome while riding her makeshift flying carpet—literally pages from her book that she'd animated and was somehow surfing on. "WAAAAAH! AAAAH! That was close! AHH!" She dodged a cannonball by centimeters. Her quill never stopped moving. Glyphs appeared in the air. Magic circles formed and fired missiles of pure archival energy. "HISTORICAL ACCURACY BLAST!"
The missiles curved mid-flight, homing in on the ship's weapons systems.
Nerissa flew in wide arcs, her raven wings leaving trails of shadow. She hurled her spear like a javelin. It struck the ship's main deck and exploded in a burst of abyssal energy. "NOW, FUWAMOCO!"
The twins had been waiting. They looked at each other, nodded, and launched into an acrobatic sequence that seemed choreographed.
"TWIN!" Fuwawa grabbed Mococo.
"CATAPULT!" Mococo curled into a ball.
Fuwawa spun twice and threw her sister like a fastball pitcher. Mococo became a fuzzy missile, spinning through the air.
"BAAAUUUU BAUUUU!" Mococo's scream doppler-shifted as she flew. "BIJOUUUU!"
Bijou was waiting mid-air, her crystal powers forming a platform. She caught Mococo with both hands, spun with the momentum, and threw her even harder. The rock girl's strength was absurd.
Mococo's spin accelerated. She glowed with energy.
"HOLOADVENT COMBOOO!" All four Advent members shouted in unison.
Mococo became a drill of fur and claws and determination. She struck the ship dead center, punching completely through from one side to the other.
"ABYSSAL WOLF CANNONBALL!!"
The ship shuddered. Alarms blared. The nano-repair systems immediately started working on the massive hole, but it was taking longer this time. Too much damage.
Pekora's eye twitched. "OI! That was just made up just now, wasn't it?!"
Shiori flew past, smirking despite nearly getting hit by debris. "And that's CANON now!" She dodged another projectile. "AH?!" Too close.
Kronii's voice cut through the chaos. "ELIZABETH! Get out of the ship!"
Elizabeth, who'd been dueling Marine on the deck, heard the command. Her tactical mind understood instantly—something big was coming. "ON IT!" She signaled to the Justice members. "JUSTICE! WITHDRAW!"
Gigi punched one more rabbit army soldier—sending it flying in a cute arc—then sprinted for the edge of the deck. She jumped.
Cecilia performed a perfect dismount, her doll-like movements graceful even in freefall.
Raora simply ran and leaped, cat-like confidence in her form.
They were all falling now. The ground rushed up to meet them.
Shiori scribbled faster. Her tome glowed. She wrote one word: "TELEPORT."
Elizabeth vanished in a flash of red light, reappearing on the ground safely.
Bijou had already sheathed her Yamato. She drew it again mid-fall, slashing the air itself. Space tore open—a portal. She kicked it wider.
Cecilia dove through the portal, tucking into a roll, emerging just above ground level. She landed on her feet, barely bending her knees. Perfect form.
Fuwamoco both jumped up—somehow gaining altitude while falling—and positioned themselves horizontally.
Raora landed on their backs, using them as springboards. She pushed off, flipping through the air with feline grace, and touched down with barely a sound.
Fuwamoco hit the ground together. "BAU BAU!" Safe!
Gigi just plummeted fist-first like a meteor. She struck the ground with earth-shattering impact, creating a crater that would definitely need filling later. But she stood up from the dust cloud completely fine, grinning. "NAILED IT!"
The Justice members had evacuated. The ship was isolated.
Pekora watched them retreat from the deck, confusion on her face. "OI! Where are you running, peko?!"
"Maate, Pekora!" Marine pointed.
Kronii's hands glowed with temporal energy. Her eyes blazed blue with power. Every clock on her body spun wildly. She thrust both hands toward the ship.
"ZA WARUDO!"
Time stopped. Not everywhere—just in a bubble around the ship. The massive vessel froze mid-air, its repairs halting, its weapons systems stuck mid-reload, even the flames from Kiara's earlier attacks frozen in place like orange sculptures.
Kronii's arms shook from the effort, sweat beading on her forehead. "Okay, that's all I've got! I have no idea what comes next!"
Fauna stared at the frozen ship. "That's it?!"
"THAT'S ENOUGH TIME!" Elizabeth was already running, her massive sword Thorn glowing with power. She sprinted past Council, past Myth, heading for a clear line of sight to the ship. "JUSTICE! READY!"
"HAI!" The other Justice members fell into formation instantly, muscle memory taking over.
Raora pulled out vials of oil from somewhere—nobody questioned inventory anymore—and tossed them onto Elizabeth's blade. The oil coated the metal, running down its length.
Elizabeth channered her power. Blue flames—her signature bloodflame—erupted along the sword's edge, mixing with the oil. The blade became a torch of blue fire.
Cecilia ran up beside her, violin already in hand. She played. The melody was impossible—notes that shouldn't exist together somehow harmonized. Enhancement glyphs appeared around Elizabeth, layering one after another. One. Two. Five. Eight. Ten. Ten different magical buffs stacked on the Justice leader.
"One shot at this," Cecilia said calmly, her playing never faltering.
Elizabeth gripped her sword with both hands, muscles tensing. "GIGI!"
She swung with all her enhanced strength. The sword left her hands, spinning through the air like a giant flaming shuriken.
Gigi's eyes tracked the blade. She dashed forward, her massive gauntlets glowing. Her timing had to be perfect. The sword spun toward her. She pulled her fist back. Everything seemed to move in slow motion.
Her gauntlet connected with the flat of the blade.
BOOOOM!
The impact created a shockwave that flattened grass for fifty meters. The sword rocketed forward at impossible speed, blue flames trailing behind it like a comet.
Elizabeth turned, spotting IRys in the air. "MORE SPEED!"
"GOT IT!"
IRys understood instantly. She dove, wings tucked, moving faster than she'd ever flown. She caught up to the spinning sword in seconds. Then she began flying circles around it, her speed creating a vortex. Each rotation added momentum. The sword spun faster. Faster. It became a drill of blue flame and steel.
The physics made no sense. The visuals were impossible. It worked anyway.
IRys released at the perfect moment. The sword-drill shot forward like a railgun projectile.
"HOLO ADVENT AND HOPE SPECIAL!" The combined shout came from Justice, Advent, and IRys.
The blade struck the ship's figurehead—that carved pirate woman with the laser mouth. It pierced through. Kept going. Punched through deck after deck after deck, the blue flames spreading, igniting everything despite the ship's fireproofing.
The sword reached the ship's core. Whatever powered this thirty-billion-dollar monstrosity.
Chain reaction.
"ROSARY BLUEFLAME OF HOPE!"
Gura, still fighting the rabbit army below, paused. "Why are we naming our combo moves aloud like anime now?!"
Nobody answered because the ship exploded.
Kronii's time bubble wore off at exactly that moment—her timing was perfect, for once.
The explosion ripped through the ship in a cascade of fire and metal and wood and nano-machines that tried desperately to repair damage that was too catastrophic. Secondary explosions followed. The ammunition stores. The fuel reserves. The mysterious power core.
"PEKOOOOOO!" Pekora's scream echoed from somewhere in the fireball.
"MY THIRTY BILLION SHIIIIIP!" Marine's voice joined her.
The ship began falling from the sky, trailing smoke and flames and pieces of hull.
Hololive Myth had just finished with the rabbit army. Ina's takodachis stood victorious over the defeated Nousagi forces—who were disappearing back through closing portals, their summoning time expired.
Ina hugged several of her takos. "You served really well. Thank you." They chirped their "wah" sounds happily before fading.
Then Myth looked up and saw the ship exploding.
The EN members erupted in cheers.
"WE DID IT!" Multiple voices screamed.
"YAAAAAY!" Fuwamoco jumped up and down, hugging each other.
"JUSTICE PREVAILS!" Elizabeth thrust her sword—which had magically returned to her hand—into the air.
"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR THIRTY BILLION DOLLARS!" Gigi laughed maniacally.
Shiori collapsed onto her floating book, exhausted. "Never again. I'm never doing acrobatic combat again."
"You say that now," Nerissa smiled.
The celebration continued. Cheers. Laughter. Relief. They'd actually won against their senpai's ridiculous super-ship.
Then the ground shook.
Not a small tremor. A massive THUD that rattled teeth and cracked pavement.
The EN members halted mid-celebration.
Gura's smile faded. "What was that?"
"AH↓HA↑HA↑HA↑HA↑!"
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The familiar laughs came from where the ship had crashed. Everyone turned slowly, dread building.
The smoke cleared. Not naturally. It was pushed aside by something. A massive hand. Metal. Mechanical. Easily the size of a building.
The smoke fully dissipated, revealing what stood in the crash site.
The ship hadn't been destroyed. It had transformed.
What stood before them was a mecha. A genuine, honest-to-god, massive robot. The ship's parts had reconfigured themselves into a humanoid form standing easily a hundred feet tall. The hull became armor plating. The sails became a cape. The figurehead was now the chest piece. And on top—a massive pirate hat and a glowing eyepatch over one optical sensor.
In the cockpit—visible through a transparent section in the chest—Marine controlled the upper body while Pekora handled the legs, both grinning like maniacs.
"Not so fast, kouhais!" Marine's voice boomed from speakers.
"We're just getting to the finale, peko!" Pekora added, equally amplified.
Reactions varied.
"Did that become a Gundam?" Gura asked flatly.
"Essentially," Gigi confirmed, her engineering mind already analyzing the transformation sequence.
Ame just put her face in her hands. "Of course. Of course it's a transforming ship. Why wouldn't it be."
Kiara's flames flickered with exhaustion. "I don't have enough energy for this."
Calli leaned on her scythe. "Same."
The EN members took fighting stances again anyway, because what else could they do?
The mecha's optical sensors glowed. Its speakers crackled to life. "HAHAHAHA! Come on, show us what else you've got!"
The EN members looked at each other.
"We can't take another round!" Fauna said what everyone was thinking.
"We have to find a way," Elizabeth insisted, though her sword arm trembled from exhaustion.
"What way?" Raora asked.
"Any way," Cecilia offered unhelpfully.
IRys floated down, landing heavily. Her wings dragged. "Our power reserves are running low."
"I can still summon more trees," Fauna said, though her voice lacked confidence.
"I can shoot tax beams," Mumei added weakly.
"I know it's kinda late to ask but what do those beams even do, actually?" Someone asked again.
"Give taxes."
"well yeah but how specifically?"
"turns everything it touches to dust by bureaucracy"
Bijou shuddered. "I'm very glad right now they're not hitting me."
"GIRLS! FOCUS!" Ame's detective voice cut through the exhaustion.
Kronii was already down again. Another stray shot from the mecha's transformation had nailed her. She lay in a fresh crater.
"WHY CAN'T YOU DODGE?!" Multiple people yelled.
"I'M TRYING, OKAY?!" Kronii groaned.
"Girls, seriously. Focus." Elizabeth stepped forward. "What now?"
They all looked at each other. Exhausted. Battered. Low on energy. But still standing.
"Well?" Gura straightened up. "One last shot?"
"The last one?" Kiara asked.
"Yup. Let's give it all we've got."
"ALL OF IT!" They chorused.
The EN members formed a circle. Every single one who could still stand. Myth. Council. Advent. Justice. Even IRys and Kronii limped over.
They raised their hands toward the center. Their powers began to flow. Red flames from Elizabeth. Pink reaper energy from Calli. Blue-green water from Gura. Purple eldritch power from Ina. Orange phoenix fire from Kiara. Green nature magic from Fauna. Blue time energy from Kronii. Yellow civilization power from Mumei. Red chaos from Bae—she'd finally put down her pancakes. Orange and blue from the Fuwamoco twins. Shadow energy from Nerissa. Crystal power from Bijou. Various colors from Shiori's archive magic. Pink and black from Raora. Green from Cecilia. Yellow-green from Gigi. And holy-demonic energy from IRys.
Every color. Every element. Every type of magic and power they possessed.
It combined in the center, mixing, blending, forming a sphere of pure concentrated energy. It looked like a small sun. Like a Kamehameha made real.
The mecha noticed. Its sensors locked on.
Marine and Pekora grinned. "Our turn, peko!"
The mecha raised both hands. Energy gathered in its palms—ship's power, nano-technology, thirty billion dollars of engineering—forming its own massive energy sphere.
"FIRE!" Both sides shouted simultaneously.
Two beams erupted. One from the EN members, rainbow-colored and spiraling with combined power. One from the mecha, pure white and crackling with technological might.
They met in the middle.
The impact created a shockwave that shattered every remaining window in a three-block radius. The beams struggled against each other, pushing back and forth, neither gaining ground.
Power struggle. Classic anime moment.
The EN members pushed harder, pouring everything they had left. Their bodies glowed with exertion.
The mecha's generators whined, pushing beyond maximum capacity.
Then slowly, inch by inch, the rainbow beam began advancing.
"IMPOSSIBLE!" Marine shouted from the cockpit.
"PEKOOOOOO!" Pekora frantically worked the controls, trying to route more power.
But it wasn't enough. The combined power of an entire branch of Hololive, fighting for their destroyed home, exceeded even thirty billion dollars of engineering.
The rainbow beam pushed through. It struck the mecha dead center.
The robot froze. Its systems overloaded. Sparks erupted from every joint. The optical sensors flickered.
Then it exploded. Bigger than the ship. Bigger than anything they'd seen today. A mushroom cloud of rainbow-colored energy and mechanical parts that would probably rain down for the next hour.
From the explosion's heart, two figures launched skyward, spinning end over end.
"LOOKS LIKE WE ARE BLASTING OFF!" Marine and Pekora's voices faded as they became stars in the distance.
Ting!
The EN members stood in silence for three seconds. Then the celebrations began.
Cheering. Crying. Hugging. Collapsing in exhaustion. Victory screams. Relief sobs.
In the kitchen, Bae wiped a tear from her eye. "That was absolute cinema."
Sana was openly crying, clapping. "Beautiful. Just beautiful."
The EN members gathered together, looking at the sunset. Orange and red painted the sky, somehow perfectly timed. They'd won. Against a thirty-billion-dollar flying pirate ship that turned into a mecha. They'd actually won.
Silence settled. Peaceful. Exhausted. Victorious.
Then Fauna spoke, her voice flat. "We should call Holo ID branch again."
Ame nodded slowly. "Agreed."
Everyone groaned.
Two hours later.
A phone rang in the Hololive ID branch building. Kaela Kovalskia picked it up, not looking away from her Minecraft stream. "Hello? Yes?"
Moona Hoshinova leaned over from her own setup. "Who is it, Kaela?"
Kaela's expression didn't change. She'd heard this before. "It's EN again. Their branch building got destroyed."
"AGAIN?!" Moona's shout echoed through the ID office.
"Yep."
"That's the second time in three months!"
"I know."
"The insurance company is going to drop them!"
"Probably."
"What happened this time?"
Kaela listened to Fauna's explanation on the other end. Her face remained perfectly neutral. "Mm-hmm. Yep. Thirty billion dollar flying pirate ship. Uh-huh. Turned into a mecha. Makes sense. Rainbow Kamehameha. Classic."
She hung up.
Moona stared at her. "Well?"
"We need to rebuild the EN branch again. I'll call the construction crew. Tell them to bring the reinforced materials this time. And maybe some mecha-resistant plating."
"Does that exist?"
"It does now. We'll invent it."
"How long?"
"Week and a half. Two weeks if Gura and Bijou cause problems during construction."
"Should we add that to the contract?"
"Already drafting it."
Moona sighed, pulling up architectural programs. "At least we're getting good at this."
"Practice makes perfect."
Back at the destroyed EN HQ, the members sat in the rubble, watching the stars come out. Tomorrow they'd deal with insurance claims and reconstruction and explaining to management what happened.
But tonight, they'd won. And that was enough.
Bae offered pancakes to everyone. They were somehow still warm.
Nobody questioned it. They just ate.
Just another day in Hololive EN.