Three months had passed since the Devil Trigger incident. The Hololive EN HQ stood rebuilt, gleaming with fresh paint and reinforced walls. Kaela and the ID branch had outdone themselves—the new building was somehow sturdier than the original, with blast-resistant windows and what Moona called "Gura-Biboo proof foundations."
Life had returned to normal. Or as normal as things got in Hololive EN.
Gigi Murin sat in the common room with Mori Calliope, both focused on a fighting game tournament happening on screen. Gigi's character was winning.
"Ha! Take that, reaper!" Gigi stuck her tongue out.
"The match isn't over yet, gremlin," Calli muttered, fingers flying over the controller.
Then the world exploded.
Not figuratively. Literally.
The first projectile smashed through the reinforced window with a sound like thunder. Then another. And another. The ceiling caved in sections, debris raining down as explosions rocked the building.
"WHAT THE—" Gigi's words were cut off as rubble buried them both.
Silence for three seconds.
Then Gigi's head popped up from the debris pile. "PWAH! Are we under attack?!"
Calli's head emerged next to her. "PWAH!" She coughed, spitting out dust. Her hand closed around something in the rubble—one of the projectiles. She lifted it, expecting to see a missile or grenade.
"Cannonballs?" Calli's voice was flat with disbelief.
Ina's head popped up from another pile. "PWAH!" Her tentacle hair was covered in drywall dust.
Kiara had been buried too, but flames erupted from the rubble as she phoenix-revived herself, reforming on top of the debris pile in a burst of orange fire. She shook her head, scattering ash and dust, then looked up.
"Hey look!" She pointed at the sky.
Everyone's eyes followed.
A ship floated there. Not a modern vessel. Not a helicopter or plane. A full-sized wooden sailing ship, massive enough to rival a Massive Galleons in history that has ever been made, suspended in midair like physics had filed for vacation. Red accents covered the hull, crimson sails billowed in wind that shouldn't exist at that altitude, and a pirate flag flew from the main mast—a female skull with an eyepatch, grinning down at them.
Fauna's jaw dropped open. Just dropped. No words. Just pure shock.
Shiori's mouth hung open, her eyes squinting as if trying to convince herself this wasn't real.
Mumei raised both hands in the air. "OKAY, WHY IS THERE A PIRATE SHIP FLYING?!"
"Are we in Treasure Planet?" Gura asked, genuinely confused.
Ina coughed again, wiping dust from her face. "No, no, we are definitely not in that movie, Gura."
The building had taken serious damage. Across the HQ, other EN members dealt with their own chaos.
Kronii lay in a crater in the floor, groaning. "Not... again..."
Amelia had been flung clear across the street into another building, now hanging from a large advertisement poster, her legs dangling. "I HATE THIS TIMELINE!"
Fuwamoco, Raora, and Cecilia had dove under their desks in the gaming room. Their monitors were somehow still running, game music playing cheerfully while cannonballs destroyed everything around them.
"BAU BAU?!" Fuwawa whimpered.
"BAU BAU BAU!" Mococo agreed. (Translation: THIS IS NOT OKAY!)
Bae stood in the kitchen, spatula in hand, completely fine. She'd been making pancakes. She still was making pancakes. She glanced at the hole in the wall, shrugged, and flipped another pancake.
Nerissa, Shiori, and Bijou had been in the karaoke room. Their song cut off mid-chorus as cannonballs punched through the walls. They stood frozen, microphones still in hand.
And in her room, somehow, impossibly, Tsukumo Sana was still asleep. Debris lay around her bed, but she snored peacefully.
"What happened?!" Kiara shouted to anyone who'd listen.
"Did someone throw bombs at us or something?!" Gigi pulled herself free from the rubble.
IRys emerged from the recording studio, holding a cannonball. "Are these... cannonballs?!"
Then a laugh echoed across the sky.
"AH↓HA↑HA↑HA↑HA↑!"
Every EN member looked up.
On the deck of the flying ship, two figures stood at the railing. Usada Pekora, the war criminal rabbit herself, her twin braids bouncing as she laughed. And beside her, Houshou Marine, the pirate captain, smirking with her usual mischievous energy.
"Konpeko, konpeko, konpeko!" Pekora waved cheerfully. "Hololive EN! Genki desuka?"
Marine leaned on the railing, her pirate hat tilted at a rakish angle. "Ahoy there, kouhai! Like our new ship?"
The EN members stared in collective disbelief.
"HOW?!" Multiple voices shouted in English.
"WHY?!" More voices added.
Pekora's grin widened. "Well, funny story actually! We just won a lottery while we were in America! sanjū oku doru specifically!" She held up both hands, fingers splayed, as if the amount was no big deal.
"WHAT?!" The English branch collectively screamed.
"Thirty billion dollars?!" Kiara translated for those whose Japanese was rusty.
"Hai, hai!" Marine nodded enthusiastically. "And we decided to use it all to hire some guys to make this ship! Pretty cool, right? Took three months, but look at this baby!" She slapped the railing proudly.
"YOU SPENT THIRTY BILLION DOLLARS ON A FLYING PIRATE SHIP?!" Fauna found her voice, though it came out several octaves higher than normal.
"It seemed like a good investment at the time," Marine shrugged.
"INVESTMENT?!" Shiori pulled herself from under the desk. "YOU CAN'T INVEST IN FLYING PIRATE SHIPS!"
"Watch us!" Pekora struck a pose.
Then her expression shifted. That smile—the one that preceded every war crime she'd ever committed in Minecraft, the one that meant things were about to get much, much worse.
"And that's why we are going to test it by declaring war!!!" Pekora announced, throwing her arms wide.
"DECLARING WAR?!" At least ten voices screamed.
Marine pulled a small red button from her coat. It looked comically oversized, like something from a cartoon. She pressed it.
Mechanical sounds echoed from the ship. Panels slid open along the hull. More cannons emerged—dozens of them—rotating into position on automated turrets. Missile launchers rose from the deck, their payloads gleaming in the sunlight. And at the bow, a massive laser cannon unfolded like some kind of sci-fi nightmare, humming with power.
The EN members watched in horror.
"That damn rabbit is committing a war crime!" Kronii shouted from her crater, finally pulling herself up.
Bae called from the kitchen, not even bothering to look. "Yet again!"
Elizabeth Rose Bloodflame exploded from the rubble pile that had buried her, her British accent sharp and commanding. "WELP! I guess this is war then!" She held her massive red broadsword, Thorn, high above her head. "JUSTICE MEMBERS!" Her voice carried across the destroyed HQ. "FORWARD!"
She charged, her sword blazing with red energy.
Gigi Murin's eyes lit up. "Oh, WE'RE DOING THIS!" She slammed her hands together. Massive mechanical gauntlets materialized around her arms, each one the size of her entire body. Her tail—that weird mechanical appendage she never explained—launched her into the air like a missile. "JUSTICE PUNCH INCOMING!"
Cecilia Immergreen rose gracefully from behind the desk, somehow completely clean despite the destruction. Her violin appeared in one hand, an ornate spear in the other. She moved like clockwork, her doll-like movements precise and deadly as she spun into a combat dance.
"For the honor of Hololive EN!" Her accent was crisp, proper, very British and very dangerous.
Raora Panthera's claws extended with metallic snaps. "ANDIAMO!" She shouted in Italian, launching herself forward on all fours, moving like the predator her character design suggested. "TIME TO SHOW THESE SENPAI WHAT JUSTICE CAN DO!"
Hololive Advent blinked, momentarily stunned.
Shiori Novella stood up first, dust falling from her archival outfit. "OI! What are you guys waiting for?!" Her tome and quill materialized in a flash of ink and paper. She scribbled frantically. Magical missiles erupted from the pages, spiraling toward the ship. "ARCHIVE ASSAULT!"
Nerissa Ravencroft snapped out of her shock. "Oh! Oh! Right! RIGHT!" Her raven wings burst from her back as she summoned her spear—a wicked thing that seemed to drink light. She took flight, her voice carrying. "FOR THE CONTENT!"
Koseki Bijou grabbed the Yamato from... somewhere. Nobody questioned where she kept it anymore. Floating crystal turrets materialized around her, each one glowing with concentrated energy. "LET'S GOOO, SENPAI!" She launched herself skyward, crystals firing in rotating patterns.
The Fuwamoco twins looked at each other, then at the ship, then back at each other.
"BAU BAU!" They pulled out their claws in perfect synchronization and dropped to all fours, charging like rabid adorable wolves. Their twin tails streamed behind them as they somehow ran up the side of the broken building toward the ship.
Hololive Council regrouped more slowly.
Kronii finally extracted herself from her crater, summoning her weapons—a short sword in one hand, a long sword in the other, both shaped like clock hands. "I swear I'm going to—"
A cannonball hit her directly in the chest.
She went down again. "OW! I WASN'T READY!"
Only Mumei and Fauna remained standing. They looked at each other, confused.
"Should we..." Fauna started.
"I mean..." Mumei shrugged.
"Might as well?" Fauna offered.
"For... historical records?" Mumei suggested weakly.
"Sure, let's go with that."
Both raised their hands. Nature magic and civilization energy erupted from their palms, blasting toward the ship in twin beams of green and yellow light.
"BAE! STOP COOKING THERE AND HELP US!" Fauna shouted toward the kitchen.
In the kitchen, Bae carefully arranged pancakes on a plate. "Nah, I'm good!"
Upstairs, Sana's door remained closed. Snoring continued from within.
IRys emerged from the recording studio, dual crystal swords materializing in her hands. Light and dark energy crackled along the blades. She rolled her shoulders, wings unfurling.
"I'm technically a singer, buuuuut I'm still a nephilim! HAAAAAAAAAA!" She rocketed into the sky like a missile, leaving a trail of mixed holy and demonic energy.
Hololive Myth regrouped near the entrance.
Amelia had somehow gotten down from the poster, though her clothes were torn and she looked thoroughly annoyed. She pulled out her bubble gun—except it wasn't a bubble gun anymore. She'd modified it. Heavily. It looked more like a plasma rifle now.
"I may not have much, but I'm still armed!" She chambered a round. "GROUND POUND TIME!"
Mori Calliope stepped up beside her, her massive scythe appearing in a swirl of souls and pink energy. Death itself seemed to chill the air around her. "Guess I'm working overtime today."
Kiara screamed her battle cry. "KIKIRIKIIIII!" Orange flames erupted around her as she summoned her sword—a blade wreathed in phoenix fire—and her blue shield.
Gawr Gura stood at the edge of the broken floor, looking down at the ocean visible in the distance. She raised her trident. The seas responded. Water rose from the harbor, forming into massive tendrils that reached toward the sky.
"A!" Just the letter A.
That was her battle cry.
It was enough.
Ina'nis Ninomae opened her tome, eldritch symbols glowing across her skin. "AO-chan, we need the army." Takodachis materialized by the hundreds—tiny octopus creatures wearing armor and carrying spears. They chanted in their weird language, forming ranks. "Wah!" Ina pointed at the ship. The tako army charged.
Meanwhile, back in the kitchen, Bae flipped another pancake with practiced ease.
Sana's door opened. She stumbled out, rubbing her eyes, wearing her star-patterned pajamas. "Hey Bae~ how's it going over—WHY IS THERE A SHIP IN THE SKY?!"
"Chaos!" Bae called cheerfully, plating her sixteenth pancake. "Sit down, Sana, and let's just watch the show! I'm almost done finishing my pancakes!"
"Should we not help them?" Sana gestured at the absolute warfare erupting outside.
"Nah, it's fine. Let's just enjoy the show." Bae pulled out two chairs, setting them near the hole in the wall like they were box seats at a theater. "Want some pancakes? They're chocolate chip."
Sana stared at the battle for a long moment, then shrugged. "You know what? Sure."
She sat down. Bae handed her a plate.
On the ship, Pekora watched the EN members mobilize with delight. "Marine! They're actually fighting back!"
"Of course they are!" Marine laughed, taking the ship's wheel. "They're our kouhai! They've got spirit!" She spun the wheel. The ship rotated, bringing more cannons to bear. "FIRE EVERYTHING!"
The cannons erupted. Cannonballs rained down like iron hail.
Elizabeth deflected three with her sword, each impact sending shockwaves up her arms. "JUSTICE DOES NOT YIELD!"
Gigi punched a cannonball mid-air, shattering it. "THESE HANDS ARE RATED E FOR EVERYONE, SENPAI!"
Cecilia danced between projectiles, her spear deflecting them with impossible precision. Each movement was choreographed perfection.
Raora's claws shredded incoming fire. "MAMMA MIA! Is that all you got?!"
Shiori's magic missiles collided with cannonballs in midair, creating explosions that lit up the sky.
Nerissa flew in spiraling patterns, her spear leaving trails of shadow. She dove toward the ship, striking the hull. The wood cracked but held. "Okay, what is this made of?!"
"Space-age polymers disguised as wood!" Marine called back. "Thirty billion buys you the best!"
Bijou's crystal turrets fired in coordinated volleys, forcing the ship to bank hard. "MOTIVATION STATUS: MAXIMUM!" She charged her Yamato. "JUDGMENT CUT!"
She vanished and reappeared beside the ship, slashing. A section of railing exploded into splinters.
"Oh, she's using THAT move!" Pekora's eyes widened. "Marine, evasive maneuvers!"
"On it!" The ship tilted nearly vertical, dodging Bijou's follow-up strike.
Fuwamoco reached the ship, claws digging into the hull. They climbed like fuzzy missiles.
"BAU BAU!" Fuwawa reached the deck first.
"BAU BAU BAU!" Mococo right behind her.
They charged Pekora and Marine, but the rabbit was ready. She pulled a lever. Trap doors opened beneath the twins. They fell through with twin yelps.
"Trap doors!" Pekora laughed. "Classic!"
Mumei and Fauna's combined blast hit the ship's shields—yes, it had shields—creating a dome of shimmering energy that absorbed the attack.
"SHIELDS?!" Fauna screamed. "THEY HAVE SHIELDS?!"
"Thirty billion dollars!" Marine reminded them cheerfully.
IRys reached the ship, her swords cutting into the shield. Light and dark energy crackled, and the shield flickered. "HYBRID POWER!" She slashed repeatedly, each strike weakening the barrier.
Below, Myth coordinated their assault.
"Ina, Takos on the left flank!" Ame commanded, firing her modified gun. The shots weren't bubbles—they were concentrated temporal energy that aged the cannonballs mid-flight, turning them to rust.
"On it!" Ina's tako army swarmed up the ship's port side.
Calli rode a wave of souls upward, her scythe reaping through the ship's rigging. Ropes fell, but new ones materialized. "They have auto-repair?!"
"THIRTY BILLION DOLLARS!" Multiple voices shouted in response.
Kiara flew circles around the ship, her flames scorching the sails. Except the sails didn't burn. "FIREPROOF SAILS?!"
"THIRTY—"
"OKAY WE GET IT!" Kiara screamed.
Gura's water tentacles wrapped around the ship's hull, trying to drag it down. The ship's engines—yes, it had engines hidden in the hull—roared to life, fighting against the pull.
"More power!" Marine shouted.
"But Captain, the engines are already at maximum!" Pekora checked a dashboard that definitely shouldn't exist on a wooden ship.
"Then go BEYOND MAXIMUM!"
"That's not how—you know what, fine!" Pekora slammed a button labeled "DO NOT PRESS." The engines exploded with power. The ship broke free from Gura's water grip, rocketing upward.
Elizabeth had reached the ship's side, running up the hull itself, her sword trailing red energy. "THORN STRIKE!" She stabbed into the hull. The blade sank deep, and she used it as leverage to flip onto the deck.
She landed face-to-face with Pekora.
"Ara ara," Pekora grinned. "The rookie wants to dance?"
"ROOKIE?!" Elizabeth's British accent intensified with indignation. "I'LL SHOW YOU ROOKIE!"
They clashed. Sword against... Pekora pulled out a carrot. A glowing, enchanted, somehow-blade-like carrot. Their weapons met with a shower of sparks.
"A CARROT?!" Elizabeth couldn't believe it.
"Never underestimate the carrot!" Pekora parried, spinning away. "It's sharper than it looks!"
Marine engaged Cecilia, their weapons moving in blurs. Spear versus cutlass, grace versus experience.
"Not bad for a doll!" Marine complimented between strikes.
"I'm an automaton, not a doll!" Cecilia corrected, her movements never faltering. "There's a difference!"
"Is there though?"
"YES!"
Gigi landed on the deck with a crater-forming impact. Her gauntlets smashed into the wood, creating another hole. "JUSTICE—"
A trap door opened beneath her.
"—PUUUUUNCH!" Her voice faded as she fell through.
"Trap doors!" Pekora called out gleefully. "They work every time!"
Raora made it to the deck, claws ready. She saw Pekora's carrot, saw Marine's cutlass, saw the absolute chaos of the battle, and paused.
"You know what? This is insane." She looked around. "I'm a panther. Why am I fighting a war criminal rabbit on a flying pirate ship?"
"BECAUSE IT'S TUESDAY!" Someone—might have been Bae from the kitchen—shouted.
"Fair point!" Raora charged back into battle.
Shiori teleported onto the deck via her tome, quill writing frantically. Magic circles appeared beneath Pekora and Marine. "ARCHIVE SEAL!"
The circles glowed. Chains erupted from them.
Pekora hopped away with rabbit agility. "Peko! Too slow!"
Marine backflipped over the chains. "Gotta be faster than that, kouhai!"
Nerissa dive-bombed the deck, her spear aimed at the main mast. Impact. The mast cracked.
"THE MAST!" Marine gasped.
"Don't worry!" Pekora pressed another button. Robot arms emerged from the deck, grabbing the mast, stabilizing it, beginning repairs. "Nano-repair systems!"
"OF COURSE THEY HAVE NANO-REPAIR!" Nerissa screamed.
Bijou appeared behind Pekora, Yamato raised. "Nothing personal, senpai."
She slashed.
Pekora ducked. The blade cut a single hair from her twin braids. "Peko?! You almost got me!"
"THAT WAS THE POINT!"
They engaged in close combat, moving faster than should be possible for a rabbit and a rock.
The Fuwamoco twins climbed back up through the trap door, thoroughly annoyed.
"BAU BAU!" No more trap doors!
"BAU BAU BAU!" We're mad now!
They charged Pekora from behind.
Pekora hopped straight up, impossibly high. The twins crashed into each other.
"BAMBOOZLED!" Pekora landed behind them, patting their heads. "Nice try though!"
IRys finally broke through the shields with a massive combined slash. "SHIELDS DOWN!"
"NOW!" Ame commanded from below.
Ina's full power unleashed. Eldritch energy erupted from her tome. Tentacles—massive, ancient, wrong—emerged from portals, wrapping around the ship.
"TIME TO BRING THIS SHIP DOWN!" Ina's eyes glowed purple.
Calli added her reaper energy, souls of the damned grabbing onto the hull, weighing it down.
Kiara's flames intensified, creating a vortex around the ship.
Gura's water returned, combining with Kiara's fire to create a steam explosion that obscured everything.
The ship groaned, tilting, engines straining.
"Marine!" Pekora called out. "I think we're going down!"
"Not yet!" Marine spun the wheel. "We've got one more trick!"
She pressed a final button. The one labeled "EMERGENCY SUPER MOVE."
The ship's figurehead—a carved female pirate—glowed. Energy built up in its eyes. A massive laser blasted from its mouth, cutting through all the attacks, dispersing them.
Everyone paused.
"DID THE SHIP JUST USE A LASER BREATH?!" Multiple voices screamed.
"THIRTY BILLION DOLLARS!" Pekora and Marine shouted together, high-fiving.
In the kitchen, Bae served Sana another pancake. "See? This is quality entertainment."
"Best seats in the house," Sana agreed, munching contentedly.
The battle raged on—cannonballs, magic, lasers, trap doors, and absolute chaos.
Just another Tuesday in Hololive EN.