Prologue – Hell's Curtain Rises
"Long, long ago, in a certain place..."
No. Too plain. Let's fix that.
"Long, long ago, in a hellish, terrifying, teeth-cracking, bone-crunching place... also known as Ishiyama High School..."
Fog curled along the cracked pavement like demon's breath. The school gates loomed in the mist, jagged and rusted, a battlefield where only the strongest delinquents survived. Two shadows approached each other — hulking figures, their fists practically trembling with anticipation of violence.
One carried another figure slung casually over his back. His aura screamed barbarism. His glare promised only pain.
The other, a bald brute with a scar cutting across his cheek, grinned like a man welcoming death.
"You're Oga, right? Oga Tatsumi. First-year."
The carrier spat to the side. "Yeah? And what of it?"
"I'm Abe. Second-year. I've come to crush you."
The figure being carried vanished into thin air as the fog dissolved — revealing a bright, annoyingly cheerful sky above Ishiyama High. The crowd of students surrounding them gasped, realizing what was about to go down.
Two legends clashing. "Killer Machine" Abe vs. "Raging" Oga Tatsumi of Kata Middle.
But Oga didn't look the least bit impressed. He rubbed the back of his neck, glanced lazily at Abe, and muttered—
"Oi, bald. Keep it down. You'll wake the baby."
The entire crowd froze.
Baby?
Whispers tore through the crowd. Killer Machine Abe and Raging Oga... and a baby? What kind of sick joke was this?
Then it happened.
A warm trickle ran down Oga's head. Gasps erupted. Was the Raging Oga actually sweating in fear? Was Abe really that terrifying?
Wrong.
The trickle turned into a waterfall. A rainbow shimmered beautifully in the air as the source of the downpour revealed himself:
A green-haired infant, face expressionless, relieving himself atop Oga's head.
"...Oi," Oga growled, wiping his forehead. "My head's not a toilet."
Abe, veins popping, lunged forward. "Enough talk, bastard! Let's fight!"
But Oga moved faster. With one arm, he swung his fist into Abe's jaw. With the other, he firmly held the baby against his chest.
"Don't you dare piss on me again!"
The impact sent Abe flying into the dirt. The crowd of students scattered in panic, half in awe, half in terror.
The baby, however, simply frowned. His tiny brow furrowed as though displeased with his human steed. Oga lifted him up toward the sun, shaking him.
"Oi, brat. What's your deal?"
The baby responded by headbutting Oga.
The Rooftop – The Delinquent's Storytelling
"Long, long ago, in a certain place..."
The words rang again, this time lazily spoken by Oga Tatsumi himself, sprawled on the rooftop of Ishiyama High. A white-haired teenager sat across from him, glaring.
Furuichi Takayuki — professional complainer, wannabe ladies' man, and self-proclaimed "only sane man" at Ishiyama.
"...there was a very, very handsome, cool, popular, respected, kind-hearted young man."
"Yeah right," Furuichi snapped. "Don't 'handsome' yourself up! You're none of those things!"
"Oi, don't 'huh?' me!" Furuichi leaned forward. "And that's not just any baby, idiot. Where the hell did you pick him up?"
The baby, sitting calmly on Oga's shoulder, growled. A tiny but menacing sound, like a cat ready to claw.
"Stupid," Oga muttered. "I was just about to explain. But you keep interrupting me."
And with that, he lunged, wrapping his arms around Furuichi and nearly snapping his back in half.
"AAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT KIND OF FRIEND DOES THIS?!"
"Shut it. You'll throw off my train of thought."
Flashback – The River Demon
According to Oga, it all started one ordinary day.
He had been "laundering" delinquents — literally. A group of punks had tried to ambush him in his sleep. Naturally, Oga responded by dragging one to the river, dunking him upside down, and scrubbing him like dirty laundry.
"See?" Oga narrated smugly. "A kind-hearted young man like me forgave their attempt to murder me. Instead, I even cleaned them."
"You tried to drown them!" Furuichi shouted in disbelief.
But then something strange happened.
Downstream, a massive old man floated by, arrow sticking out of his chest. His beard flowed like a waterfall. His body was bloated, lifeless.
"I kid you not," Oga insisted. "This really happened."
"Like hell it did!"
But the old man drifted closer. Oga's "kind-hearted" narration continued. He claimed he lifted the man from the river and—
Split him in half with a karate chop.
Furuichi's jaw dropped. "You WHAT?!"
"And inside was this brat." Oga pointed at the baby currently gnawing on his shirt.
The flashback baby crawled onto Oga's head, staring at him with unnerving intensity.
"Being the adult I am, I asked if he was lost."
Flashback Oga pulled grotesque faces, each uglier than the last. The baby watched, entranced. Then he lunged and latched onto Oga's head, tugging at his skin like putty.
Furuichi in the present grabbed the baby. "No one will ever believe this garbage!"
The baby instantly started crying.
Lightning crackled across the rooftop. The air thickened, hair stood on end. In an instant, a powerful electrical shock erupted, frying the rooftop in a violent explosion.
Chaos at Ishiyama
The baby refused to leave Oga. He clung to him with supernatural magnetism. Whenever Oga tried to peel him off, he cried — and the world exploded in electricity.
Furuichi groaned. "Why don't we just let him cry?! This school's already a dump anyway!"
"Idiot," Oga hissed. "You'll wake him again."
Delinquents fought in the hallway, but Oga shoved them aside like trash, desperately trying to avoid another meltdown.
Of course, Beelzebub cried anyway.
The resulting shockwave obliterated a section of the school. Smoke billowed. Students lay twitching on the floor.
By lunchtime, Oga was at his wit's end. He shoved his way into the cafeteria.
"Food. Babies fall asleep when they're full, right?"
The last yakisoba bread sat on the counter. Hungry students glared at each other like wild beasts. In seconds, a brawl broke out, desks overturned, fists flying.
In the middle of it all, Beelzebub waddled in, snatched the bread, and tossed it into the chaos.
The crowd of delinquents roared and lunged. Beel clapped and squealed, his little fangs showing.
Oga and Furuichi exchanged a look.
"...This brat likes violence."
The Ominous Arrival
High above the city, storm clouds swirled. A massive black bird tore through the sky, its wings flapping like thunder. A woman in gothic attire rode upon it, her parasol gleaming. Her gaze fixed on the city below.
Her lips curved into a smile.
"Found you."
And so, Oga Tatsumi's nightmare was only beginning.
To be continued...