Arisaki… Completely Shattered
Kohaku walked with slow, heavy, uninterested steps—
as if gravity targeted her specifically.
Meanwhile, Mitsura Arisaki…
Stood frozen behind her, staring like he had just witnessed a miracle.
His wide wine-colored eyes trembled as he whispered:
"Who… is she?"
Then he suddenly closed the distance in long, frantic strides:
"W–Wait! Hey!! Hold on!!"
Kohaku paused for half a second… then kept walking.
Arisaki:
"Please!! At least… your name!!"
He reached a hand out toward her, as if begging some descending angel.
Kohaku finally stopped.
She turned her head slowly…
Her face blank.
Emotionless.
Her boredom level: 99%.
Kohaku:
"…And why do you want my name?"
Arisaki gave the brightest, dumbest, sparkliest smile ever created:
"Because… I want to know it!"
Kohaku blinked.
Once.
Twice.
Then she spoke in a low, exhausted voice:
"That… is not a logical reason."
She took a step toward him, raising one eyebrow:
"And wait a second… what is a rich kid doing in a normal store?
Don't you people shop in golden malls or something?"
Arisaki immediately flailed his hands:
"I'm not a kid!!"
Then quietly:
"…And I have a reason for being here… um…"
Kohaku cut him off:
"Are you lost?"
Arisaki:
"I'M NOT LOST!!"
(He was definitely lost.)
Kohaku closed her eyes with a sigh and facepalmed:
"My god… even rich people need supervision."
Then, brutally:
"Fine. I'll tell you the benefit of knowing my name."
She stepped even closer.
Their faces were now uncomfortably close.
He blushed.
She spoke slowly:
"The benefit… is zero."
Then she turned and walked away.
Arisaki followed her, waving his hands like a panicked puppy:
"B–But I'm serious!
Please! Just your name! I promise I won't… I won't cause trouble!"
Kohaku stopped again.
Turned with a lethal stare:
"You… are the biggest trouble I've seen today."
Then she lazily pointed at him:
"Why are you even this persistent? Don't you have something better to do?
Like steering a family yacht or counting your money?"
Arisaki smiled awkwardly, trying to look cute:
"I just… I just feel like I have to know your name!"
Kohaku:
"…Idiot."
She walked away again.
Arisaki froze in place.
For a moment, he swore the light above his head flickered off… then the lights of the entire store…
and then the whole universe went dark.
Slowly—painfully slowly—he sank to his knees like a character in an over-the-top anime.
He placed both hands on the floor, trembling.
"W–What have I done…?
Was I… born a mistake?
Is this karma punishing me because I ate Koinchi's cake last week…?"
Even his luxurious shirt lost its shine.
His necktie slipped off.
His perfectly styled hair now looked like it survived a hurricane.
An old man passing by glanced at him and said:
"May God help you, son…"
And walked away.
He lifted his head toward the ceiling, as if appealing to heaven:
"I just… wanted to know her name…"
A shopper walked by and whispered to his friend:
"He looks like a kid from one of those anime shows."
And the friend replied:
"Yeah… the drama's a bit much."
Suddenly—the moment Arisaki shouted in despair:
"If Koinchi doesn't show up right now I'll deduct his salary—!"
FWOOOOSH!
Koinchi materialized behind him like a ninja emerging from the shadows.
Arms crossed.
Expression stone-cold.
"Master Arisaki… this is your own doing.
I told you not to run away from the car."
Arisaki clung to his leg like an abandoned kitten:
"Koinchiii!! Why did you leave me?! Why?!
She said things… horrible things…!"
Koinchi grabbed him by the collar with the calmness of someone cleaning up after a toddler:
"You ran away.
You didn't listen.
And you made me appear in this undignified manner."
Then he turned to the cashier:
"Apologies for the disturbance."
And proceeded to sling Arisaki over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
Arisaki stretched out a desperate hand toward Kohaku's direction:
"Wait! At least—!!"
Koinchi bonked him lightly on the head:
"Silence."
And carried him out.
_______________________________________________________________
Kohaku trudged down the street, swinging her completely empty shopping bag back and forth.
Her steps dragged as if Earth's gravity had decided to triple just for her.
Her half-closed eyes reflected hunger, exhaustion, and the general despair of being alive.
"Ugh… why won't a rich person just fall from the sky and give me money?
Why do I… have to exist…?"
As she neared her apartment building—
the one everyone *insisted* was falling apart, even though it was totally normal—
the landlady, Yurindo, suddenly appeared.
An old woman… wrinkled face… hunched back…
Until she spotted Kohaku.
In an instant—POOOF—
she transformed comedically into a fake "young version" of herself:
a ridiculously long wig, unnaturally shiny teeth, and skin stretched to an impossible smoothness.
The sight was terrifying… hilarious…
and deeply uncomfortable for any sane human being.
"KOHAKUUU-CHAAAAAN!"
The landlady shrieked in a voice far too youthful for her age:
"Kohaku-chaaan! Come quick, my beautiful girl!"
Kohaku froze, staring at her like she was witnessing a crime against humanity.
"Oh God… you switched to the 'young mode' again?
Bring back the wrinkles, it's less painful to look at."
Yurindo gasped:
"You rude brat! Get over here!"
She grabbed Kohaku's hand with the strength of a twenty-year-old…
despite being well over seventy.
Kohaku was dragged away, whining:
"Ow! Let go!
Why are old people so strong?!
Do you eat iron?!"
Kohaku sat with dead eyes, while Yurindo bustled around with suspicious excitement:
"I found it! I found it! The perfect job for you! A wonderful job!"
Kohaku sighed:
"If the job is killing someone… I'm in."
Yurindo slapped the idea away with a wave:
"No, you stupid girl!
A job… as a maid!"
Kohaku froze. Her face drained of life.
Then she spoke with the icy calm of someone who had transcended burnout:
"No. I refuse.
I'd rather eat the asphalt outside."
Yurindo shrieked dramatically:
"WHAAAAAT?! Everyone wants this job! It's an honor!"
Kohaku:
"Honor?
You want me to fold clothes for people richer than me?
Amazing. Please, keep that 'honor' for yourself."
Yurindo clutched her chest:
"This girl will kill me before I die naturally…"
The landlady coughed, then leaned toward Kohaku and whispered like she was offering a shady deal:
"Listen…
The house you'll work in is huge… and wealthy…
There's free food…
Crazy high pay…
And if the master likes you, maybe bonuses… maybe even—"
Kohaku raised a hand to stop her:
"Hold up.
Did you say 'free food'?"
Yurindo's lips curled into an evil little grin:
"Fooooood… unlimited."
Kohaku's leg twitched. Hunger was starting to take over her brain.
"…And the salary?"
Yurindo puffed out her chest:
"Very, very high…"
Kohaku sat in the landlady's chair, cheek propped on her palm, looking exhausted, starving, and completely done with life.
Yurindo waited for her answer with a smile far too wicked for a woman her age.
Kohaku thought hard…
Free food
Salary
Possibly paying off her idiot father's debts
Free food again
Finally, she lifted her head and muttered in a soft voice—like someone confessing to a crime:
"…Fine. I'll do it."
Yurindo leapt from her chair, her bones cracking dramatically:
"Yaaaaay! Finally! I knew you were a smart girl!"
Kohaku raised a finger to stop her madness:
"Just to be clear…
I'm not agreeing because the job sounds great.
I'm agreeing because there's free food.
I'm not proud. My stomach is the one in charge."
Yurindo opened a little file, like she was presenting a contract to sell Kohaku's soul to the devil.
"Alright. You'll be working at the Mitsura household—very prestigious.
The master of the house—well, his heir—is… not the brightest.
But he's kind.
You'll be responsible for cleaning, organizing, and managing the chaos he leaves behind."
Kohaku sighed:
"You're calling him 'the heir'? Is he a prince or something?"
Yurindo replied:
"Almost. Just… don't raise your voice at him.
He's sensitive."
Kohaku groaned:
"Sensitive? Great…
Rich, dumb, and sensitive.
I'm going to die young."
Yurindo suddenly asked in a serious tone:
"Before anything…
did you pass the academy entrance exam?"
Kohaku stared at her with the most lifeless, pitch-black expression imaginable—
Edginess Level: 100.
"Yes…
unfortunately."
Yurindo nodded:
"So you're a student at Kokkyō High Academy. Excellent!"
Kohaku exhaled like she carried a curse on her back:
"If I had known the word 'smart' would become a burden…
I would've failed on purpose.
But no—
I had to be a genius.
And now they stuffed me into a rich people's academy…
all because my bastard father left me with a century's worth of debt."
Yurindo shook her head sympathetically:
"He was a man… with a strong personality—"
Kohaku cut her off:
"A man with personality?
He was a walking disaster.
They should've executed him as a child."
Yurindo laughed nervously:
"Hahaha… you have such a beautiful soul, Kohaku."
Kohaku deadpanned:
"My soul died a long time ago."
Kohaku was about to stand up after accepting the job when Yurindo suddenly approached with a suspicious sparkle in her eyes—
the kind of sparkle that only brings disaster.
Yurindo placed a hand dramatically over her heart and whispered with pure, concentrated mischief:
"By the way, Kohaku…
if this heir happens to be… handsome…"
She leaned in even closer.
"Introduce him to me, okay?"
Kohaku blinked.
Once.
Twice.
Then stared at the old woman like she had just seen a ghost.
"…Are you joking?"
Yurindo leaned even closer and winked:
"I'm still young on the inside, girl! And who knows? Maybe—"
SMACK!
Kohaku slapped her.
Not a violent slap—
a disgust slap.
A "remove these toxic thoughts from my atmosphere immediately" slap.
Yurindo clutched her cheek, horrified:
"Aaah! You ungrateful brat! Why?!"
Kohaku yelled as she stood up:
"Because I hate those topics!
I don't want to meet men!
I don't want involvement!
Leave my face alone!"
Then she charged at the door and burst through it faster than a cat fleeing hot water.
Yurindo ran to the door and shouted with all the grace of a collapsing building:
"Come back, you ungrateful gremlin!
When I was your age I dated three men at once!
One of them thought he was a prince!
The second was a failed singer!
And the third—"
Kohaku, already halfway up the stairs, screamed back:
"I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! STOP TALKING! THOSE ARE NOT SECRETS I NEED!"
Yurindo kept going:
"And when I was your age I was so beautiful—"
Kohaku cut her off from the stairs:
"YOU ARE STILL TERRIFYING AND UGLY! STOP TALKING!"
Yurindo, still at the doorway, waved a hand:
"You start work tomorrow!
And learn from my experiences, you fool!
Love—"
Kohaku yelled from the top of the stairs:
"I WILL NEVER FALL IN LOVE! I WON'T LEARN ANYTHING FROM YOU! AND I'M STAYING AWAY FROM MEN NO MATTER HOW THEY LOOK!"
Kohaku slammed open her apartment door:
"Free food… only free food!
Men can go straight to hell!"
And she shut the door with a thunderous bang.