That Night
Mankanshoku Family Home
Y/N arrived at the Mankanshoku house, slightly out of breath. The streets were quiet, which usually meant something stupid had just happened or was about to happen.
(Y/N): Ryuko? Mako? You guys in there?
Sukuyo: Oh, good evening Y/N!
(Y/N): Evening, Mrs. M. Have you seen the chaos duo?
Sukuyo: Hmmm? I'm not sure. Mako didn't come home for dinner, and the last I saw of Ryuko, she jumped out of the window chasing that Nagita boy.
(Y/N): Jumped out the window... of course. Do you have any lead on-
Barazo: Aaaah! Ooof!
Y/N leaned past Sukuyo to see Barazo mummified in bandages, with Mataro and Guts holding him down on the tatami mats.
Mataro: Sup Y/N!
Guts: Guts! Guts!
(Y/N): Uhhhhh... did he lose a fight with a lawnmower?
Sukuyo: Ah, that. Mr. Nagita was being chased by a mob of students. In their rush, my husband got used as a speed bump. Don't worry though! We are a back-alley medical family! He'll be fine by morning.
(Y/N): -_- ...Right. Indestructible. I'll just head home then.
Y/N wished the family a good night and walked back out into the cool night air.
(Y/N): I hope Ryuko didn't do anything stupid. She was emotionally compromised. I should have pressed that Nui girl for answers when I had the chance.
With no leads and a headache forming, Y/N went home. He needed sleep. Retirement was supposed to be about sleeping, not chasing teenagers across Japan.
The Next Day
Y/N's No-Star Apartment
Y/N was deep in a dreamless sleep, enjoying the silence. Suddenly, his door exploded inward.
Mataro: Y/N!!!!!!
Guts: GUTS! GUTS!
(Y/N): Shoots up, palms crackling AAAAAHH!! Why does nobody in this city know how to use a doorknob!?!
Mataro: Y/N! We saw Ryuko!
(Y/N): Sparks die down Really!? Is she okay?
Mataro: Yeah! Follow Me!
Y/N threw on his clothes in record time and followed Mataro to an industrial district near the edge of town. They arrived just in time to see Ryuko peel out on a motorcycle, leaving a trail of dust. Standing amidst the exhaust fumes was Aikuro Mikisugi.
(Y/N): Oh look. It's the needle teacher... -_-
Mataro: Huh? What're you doing here, Mr. Mikisugi?
Aikuro: Ah. Y/N. Perfect timing. I take it you want to follow Matoi?
(Y/N): That is the plan, yes.
Aikuro: I'll give you a lift. But know this... I am no longer a teacher. The time has come to cast aside the facade. Today, I bid farewell to my cover identity as the homeroom teacher for Honnouji Academy's Second Year, Class K...
(Y/N): Why are you unbuttoning your shirt?
Aikuro: Today, I return to being my unadorned self! Clothes SLOWLY slide off his body
(Y/N): -_-.
Mataro: 0_0
Aikuro: A splendid naked officer, the nude warriors of Nudist Beach! Nipples shine with blinding light
(Y/N): ...I'm calling the cops.
Aikuro: We who do battle against the threat of Life Fibers! Aikuro Mikisugi! Let's begin!
Aikuro: Come on, Nude Shooting Star! snap
Aikuro snapped his fingers. A sleek, red sports car drifted around the corner and stopped perfectly beside him.
Aikuro: Come, Y/N! Our destiny awaits!
(Y/N): -_. I need an adult...
Aikuro: I AM AN ADULT!!!
Aikuro grabbed Y/N by the collar and tossed him into the passenger seat. The car sped off, chasing Ryuko's dust trail.
A Few Minutes Later
Aikuro's Car: Nude Shooting Star
Aikuro drove like a maniac, weaving through traffic while mostly naked. Y/N gripped the door handle, his knuckles white.
(Y/N): -_.
Aikuro: smirk So, Y/N... tell me about yourself.
(Y/N): ...I wanna leave... Q_Q
Aikuro: Hahaha! Are you surprised to find out about my secret identity of being in Nudist Beach?
(Y/N): Staring strictly at the dashboard to avoid the shining nipples "Nudist Beach"? That's the name? Really? You guys need a branding consultant.
Aikuro: Alright. Enough jokes. Who are you, and what is your relationship with Matoi?
(Y/N): Sigh -_- You're the second person to interrogate me about this.
Aikuro: Well, what is your answer? You're in my car, going to a war zone. The least you can do is answer.
(Y/N): Looks out the window I'm just a guy who tried to retire from a life of fighting, only to find a friend who attracts trouble like a magnet. To be specific... Ryuko has saved me. She's one of the few people in my life who hasn't tried to kill me or use me as a weapon. That makes her worth worrying about.
Aikuro: I like that answer. But I have a feeling you're not sharing everything. You carry yourself like a soldier, not a student.
(Y/N): -_- Who knows...
Aikuro: smirks Seeing as how you've never hurt Ryuko, I'll let it slide... for now...
A Little While Later
Osaka, Japan
Aikuro drifted the car to a halt on a hill overlooking Osaka. The city was burning. The sky was red with smoke and fire.
Aikuro: Well here you are! See you later and good luck! Drives off immediately
(Y/N): Wait what!? Come back!... -_- ...Asshole.
Y/N looked down at the burning metropolis.
(Y/N): Wow. This place is absolutely destroyed... He checked his palms, ensuring no residual smoke. And for once, it isn't MY fault!!! HELL YEAH!! The Prime Minister can't deport me for this one!
(Y/N): Now... where's Ryuko?
Y/N made his way through the war-engulfed city. He dodged falling debris and fighting students with the casual boredom of someone walking through a mild rainstorm. Eventually, he spotted a familiar bowl-cut bobbing through the crowd.
Mako: nom gasp I've never seen those before!
Mako was zipping between various shops that were somehow still open amidst the looting, purchasing food and souvenirs.
(Y/N): Mako!
Mako: Y/N!! You're here!! Yay!!
Mako launched herself at Y/N like a missile, hugging him tightly.
(Y/N): Nice to see you too, Mako. -_- What's all that junk?
Mako: Oh these are all the trinkets from Osaka I'm gonna bring home! My family is gonna be so happy!
(Y/N): Mako, we are in a war zone. You are shopping in a war zone.
Mako: Yeah! Prices are super low!
(Y/N): Good point. So, where's Ryuko?
Mako: Eh? Ryuko's here too?
(Y/N): Sigh If you don't know, we're in trouble.
Mako: That's easy! All we have to do is find the biggest explosions! Ryuko is sure to be close behind!
(Y/N): Don't just say that like it isn't something immensely dangerous... -_-
Before they could move, a group of students wearing One-Star uniforms with Senketsu fragments stitched onto them surrounded the pair.
Mako: Huh?
One-Star Student: Hey, you're Mankanshoku and (L/N)! The second-years! What are you doing here?
(Y/N): Uh... sightseeing?
One-Star Student: You guys deserted in the face of the enemy and have been goofing off, haven't you!? What do you think the Raid Trip is about, anyway? Purge them!
(Y/N): -_- I've mentioned I hate this school, right?...
The students lunged. Y/N sighed, preparing to blast them away, when a motorcycle engine roared from the smoke. Ryuko drove directly over the mob, knocking them aside like bowling pins. As they fell, she snatched the Life Fiber fragments from their uniforms with expert precision.
Mako: Ryuko!
Ryuko: Mako! Y/N! I see you guys are taking things easy and taking in the Osaka sights, huh?
(Y/N): Hard to see the sights through the tear gas and smoke, actually.
Mako: Am I glad to see you, Ryuko!
(Y/N): Oh yeah, are you alright? I heard you got into a fight with that creepy lady again.
Ryuko: Yeah I did...
Ryuko placed the various scraps into her guitar case. It was stuffed full.
Mako: Senketsu's all chopped to bits!
(Y/N): Is he gonna be okay?... I can't believe I'm asking about a sailor uniform's health.
Ryuko: Yeah, I'll get him back. I'll take back every last piece and make him good as new.
Mako: Oh I see, Ryuko. You're going to these lengths 'cause he's your only uniform-
(Y/N): -That she talks to...
SMACK
(Y/N): Ow.
Ryuko: smirk I missed doing that.
Senketsu: There is only one left, Ryuko.
Ryuko: Really? How are you feeling?
Senketsu: Rather well. You're different, don't you think?
Ryuko: How so?
Senketsu: The only part of me that is giving you power right now is this scarf. But in spite of that, you are intra-killing the Goku Uniforms. That have my fragments attached to them. You are even stronger than before.
Ryuko: I'm getting stronger?
Mako: It's because what you desire is almost in reach! You're so desperate cause you're fixated on your desire to get Senketsu back to normal!
Ryuko: Thanks. The way you put it makes me sound like an addict.
(Y/N): I think there's a clinical term for attachment to clothing.
SMACK
(Y/N): Ow.
Ryuko: Right, one left. Can you tell where it is, Senketsu?
Senketsu: Yes. The person holding the final fragment is Satsuki Kiryuin.
Ryuko: Satsuki? Seriously? Fine. I'm getting you back.
Senketsu: But I cannot transform. How do you intend to fight her?
Ryuko: Don't worry. I'll make up for the rest. I'm not the usual Ryuko Matoi right now.
(Y/N): (muffled) Sure does FEEL like the usual Ryuko Matoi...
KICK
SMASH
WHACK
Only Y/N's feet were sticking out of the ground now.
(Y/N): OOOWWWW. My spine...
Ryuko: I'm a Ryuko Matoi who's fixated by seeing what she wants almost in reach. I'm coming for you! Satsuki Kiryuin!
Meanwhile
Satsuki and Sanageyama stood before Kaneo Takarada's massive golden mech.
Takarada: Say hello to my anti-Honnouji Academy mechanized weapon, Dotonbori Robo!
Satsuki: Pathetic.
Sanageyama: How incredibly tacky.
Takarada: Oh? You can tell that even without eyes?
Sanageyama: Yes. I can sense it by aura alone — the smell of your overblown arrogance. And cheap cologne.
The battle raged. Takarada used money-based attacks, missiles, and insults. Gamagoori deployed his Shackle Regalia to protect Satsuki. But the tide turned when Iori flew in.
Iori: Catch, Sanageyama! Here's your new Goku Uniform!
Sanageyama: Just what I've been waiting for!
Three-Star Goku Uniform: Blade Regalia Mk. III!
With his new armor, Sanageyama decimated the mech in seconds.
Takarada: crawling away I'm dead, I'm dead...
Satsuki: My target here is not you. Do you think I would commit a force of this size to fight mere students?
Takarada: Wait... You aren't serious!
Satsuki: Where did you get the power to stand against Goku Uniforms?
Before Satsuki could get answers, a motorcycle burst onto the scene. Ryuko drifted to a halt. Mako was clinging to her waist. And behind the bike, wrapped in a chain and bouncing along the asphalt, was Y/N.
Mako: @_@
(Y/N): My life is pain... ;_; My shirt is ruined. Again.
Ryuko: Looks like you're having fun throwing your weight around, Satsuki Kiryuin.
The two women confronted each other.
Ryuko: Wrecking an entire town... Don't you think that's a bit much?
Satsuki: You've come all this way merely to tell me that?
Ryuko: I'm going to change that fate. You're going to give Senketsu back.
Satsuki: holds up glove Ah, so this is what you are after.
Ryuko: Mako, take Y/N and get to safety.
Mako: Kay! She drags the groaning Y/N behind a pile of rubble.
Ryuko clashed with Satsuki. Despite not transforming, Ryuko held her own, fueled by pure determination (and obsession). But Satsuki activated Junketsu. Without a transformation, Ryuko was pushed back.
Satsuki: Heh. It would appear that you cannot synchronize without the glove.
Before Satsuki could strike the final blow, needles rained down. Tsumugu Kinagase appeared, backed by an army of Dotonbori Robo copies.
(Y/N): -_- This fight brings a whole new meaning to the term "shirts vs. skins"...
Aikuro landed in front of Ryuko, fully nude and glowing.
Aikuro: That is the goal of Nudist Beach!
Ryuko and (Y/N): That name was for real!?
Satsuki: So, we've smoked you out.
Gamagoori: The true objective of the Raid Trip was to draw out the rebel force lurking in the Kansai region!
Nonon: We were worried you wouldn't show up.
The Elite Four simultaneously activated their new Three-Star Goku Uniforms.
Elite Four Regalia MK. II!
The battlefield erupted into chaos. Energy beams, missiles, and shockwaves tore the landscape apart. Y/N sat in a "safe" corner, watching the fireworks.
(Y/N): These people are crazy... How can this day get any worse?...
A blade swung horizontally at his neck. Y/N ducked instinctively, the wind of the blade ruffling his hair.
(Y/N): -_- sigh I just had to ask.
Y/N created some distance and turned. Nui Harime stood there, purple aura flaring, her smile twitching violently.
Nui: twitch Hello again. Y/N.
(Y/N): How are you still breathing?... I hit you with a kinetic impact that should have liquefied your organs.
Nui: twitch You know twitch in all my life I've never twitch been as ANGRY as I am now twitch
(Y/N): Uhhh... you look like you need a nap. Or a sedative.
Nui: So... twitch why don't you just... breathes DIE!!!!!!!
Nui charged. She was faster than before, fueled by rage. Y/N dodged, weaving through the slashes with minimal movement.
Nui: Why won't you die!?! WHY WON'T YOU DIE!!?!
(Y/N): Lady, you need a therapist... or an exorcist. Maybe both.
Nui summoned clones. They swarmed him.
Clones: PIG! FILTHY!! DIE DIE!
(Y/N): -- These attacks may not be hitting, but those words certainly hurt my feelings. ;;
Nui: ARRRGHHHH!!!!
(Y/N): Glances up Man... Ryuko and Satsuki are flying up the Tsūtenkaku tower. I wish I could fly... -_- Walking is for chumps.
Nui: DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!!!
Y/N caught Nui's blade mid-swing with his bare hand. The metal groaned under his grip.
Nui: Gah!! pulls Let go! LET GO!!
(Y/N): Could you stop please? You already know how this ends. You can't cut me.
Nui: SHUT UP!!!
Nui pulled with all her strength. Y/N stared for a moment, then simply let go. Nui tumbled backward, hitting the dirt.
Nui: thud I'll kill you!! I'll kill you!! GAAAAH!!!
(Y/N): Okay you need to-
BOOM
With a massive explosion, the Tsūtenkaku tower began to fall. Directly onto them.
(Y/N): Oh, come on.
The tower crashed into the ground, sending a mushroom cloud of debris everywhere. As the dust settled, Y/N stood amidst the wreckage, brushing dust off his shoulder. Nui was gone.
(Y/N): Sigh Better get back to the others...
On the other side of the debris, Nui clawed her way out.
Nui: KILLHIMKILLHIMKILLHIM!!!!!
Her phone rang. She froze.
Nui: KILLHIMKI- Huh? -Hello? -Ah! Lady Ragyo! -Oui Madam!
Nui closed her phone. She glanced back at Y/N's location, her eye twitching.
Nui: Grits teeth You got lucky, monkey. Next time.
She jumped away.
The Aftermath
Back at the battle, Ryuko and Satsuki were in a dead-lock, blades at each other's throats.
Ryuko: Heh. Mutually assured destruction...
Ryuko looked around. The destruction was total. Her friends were in danger.
Ryuko: Withdraw your troops, Kiryuin. Do that, and I'll lower the sword.
Satsuki: Trade my life for theirs? I'm insulted at how low a price you put on me.
Gamagoori: Lady Satsuki! Please stand down! Yours is a noble goal! You mustn't fall here out of mere stubbornness!
Satsuki paused. She sheathed her sword.
Satsuki: Very well. All forces, withdraw.
Mako: Ryuko, you dropped this! gives Scissor Blade
Ryuko: Thanks.
(Y/N): Walking up, covered in dust Thank god it's finally over.
Ryuko: And where were you?
(Y/N): -_- ... I was busy babysitting a psycho in pink.
Ryuko: Hmph. Kiryuin, maybe it's true that you've mastered that Junketsu of yours. But you're alone.
Satsuki: And you aren't?
Ryuko: No. Senketsu and I are two in one.
Satsuki: Implying that you've formed a symbiotic relationship with the Life Fibers? That is a fairy tale.
(Y/N): It's really true, She talks to her Kamui and everything! Granted it looks like she's talking to herself, but she's very convinci-
SMASH
(Y/N): (muffled) sigh
Ryuko: Shut up.
Satsuki: Hmph. As childish as ever...
Satsuki tossed Bakuzan to Ryuko.
Satsuki: I shall leave Bakuzan in your care. To mark today's battle.
Ryuko tossed it back.
Ryuko: The Satsuki Kiryuin I know isn't so petty a woman that she'd change an order she'd given just because she got her sword back.
Satsuki smirked and turned to leave. Suddenly, explosions rocked the ground. Nonon burst from the earth.
Nonon: Lady Satsuki, I've destroyed the Nudist Beach base as per your orders.
Satsuki: Well done. The objective of the Tri-City Schools Raid Trip has been accomplished.
As Satsuki left, she turned back.
Satsuki: I compliment you on your valiant efforts, Ryuko Matoi. But your attack was no more than a sneak attack. It will not work next time!
She left. The Nudist Beach members looked defeated.
Aikuro: This cost us most of Nudist Beach's forces. Still, we should be grateful that we're alive. You fought Satsuki Kiryuin to a draw. That was impressive, Ryuko. Come with me.
Ryuko: blush Eh?
(Y/N): I knew it!
SMASH
(Y/N): (muffled) Okay... this is more than usual. My insurance isn't gonna cover this.
Ryuko: SHUT UP!
Aikuro: I gave you my word. It's time to tell you everything...