Love.
Everyone talks about it like it's a universal experience. The pull, the spark, the madness.
Most men have felt it at least once, the raw, unexplainable urge that hits when they meet her.
I'm not talking about the simps who drool at every pretty face that walks by, I'm talking about the real thing. The feel that makes a man believe he's found something worth holding on to.
I wanted to understand that feeling, to know why it never reached me, not even in my teenage years, when love was supposed to come easy.
So I went for the nuclear option.
I bought a romance novel.
Why? Because what better way to understand love than to read about it, right? A story about a princess who loses everything after a betrayal, only to find hope again in the arms of her lover.
Yeah, it sounds cliché. But everyone online swore it was peak storytelling, so I gave in.
Then a voice snapped me out of my thoughts, a loud, slightly annoying one.
"What are you reading?"
My little sister. She always finds a way to interrupt me. Honestly, if there were ever a yandere in real life, it'd be her.
"Just another webnovel," I said, not bothering to look up.
"Another? I thought you promised that after finishing that harem trash, you'd read the manga I recommended."
"For the last time, harems aren't trash. You just don't get it yet."
She snorted, "What's there to get? It's always the same, some clueless guy surrounded by a bunch of desperate girls. Gross."
"Hah. There's no point trying to reason with you."
She leaned closer, a sly grin forming, "Reason? Anyways, just tell me why you refuse to read the manga I picked?"
I sighed, "Why do you care so much?"
"Ah… don't get mad, okay? You know I hate it when you're mad at me."
"What did you do?"
She hesitated, then blurted out, "I think you're gay."
"...Gay?"
"Yes. Gay."
"What the fu—why would you even think that?"
She shrugged, "Maybe because I've never seen you with a girl? Like, ever?"
"So that's your logic?"
"It just seems like you don't like girls, that's all. Maybe this BL manga will help you figure yourself out."
"No, thanks. I know myself just fine. And I'm definitely not gay."
"I'M JUST WORRIED!!!" She screamed.
I was caught off guard by that, I didn't expect her to get all emotional with the discussion, yes I knew she had a brother complex with me, but to just scream out of the box was something else.
"What was that for?"
Her eyes began to well up, as she rested her head on my chest, obviously soaking it with her tears, but at that moment, I seemed not to care.
"It's just that I'm scared, scared you won't be able to find love."
That was it.
The reason she got tensed.
"But I have you," I said, wiping off the tears from her eyes.
She shook her head and continued, "No that's different, I'm your sister."
She then gripped my palm, pressing it slightly as she continued, "I'm talking about romantic love, your soulmate. You read all these romance novels, and I know why you read them all the time, you want to understand it, this romance of a thing."
"Caught red handed!" I said, sarcastically raising my hands above my head.
"This isn't funny, I'm trying to be serious here."
"It's not my fault that you sound ridiculous," I countered. "And no need to worry about my romantic life, it's just that I haven't found the one yet."
"Is that so?" She cringly asked, tilting her head slightly.
Ignoring her I kept reading the webnovel, and as I read further, I couldn't help but ponder.
What if she's right?
What if I can't ever love or be loved?
The thought was scary, it's not like I'm an introvert, on the contrary I'm definitely well spoken. So what's the reason?
Twenty-one and still a virgin. Is there anything more shameful than that?
Questions just kept coming, and I blame her for this, she had to remind me of my misfortune.
Anyways.
I kept scrolling, and I finally reached the end of the serialised chapters.
[You've caught up with all the released chapters. Show your support with a gift to help keep the author's motivation going!]
That was it.
Just thirty chapters.
It has been a good read so far, giving it a solid 8 out of 10, just because I'm not a big fan of romance novels. Just reading them to further my perception of love.
With a sigh, I decided to scroll through the comments, to have a look at people's opinions on the novel.
[What_UnderThere23: Ugh, why do kings always think marriage is just another political move? Let the poor girl choose love for once!]
"Hmph," after some consideration, I decided to reply to the comment.
[AmNotSmashingThat96: Totally agree, she has every right to choose who she wishes to marry.]
[VelvetTear: The tension between her and the knight is killing me. One glance and you can feel everything she's trying to hide.]
"That's true," I muttered, before typing a reply.
[AmNotSmashingThat96: Right? The author truly has a knack for this kind of thing.]
[RoyalRebel: If that knight doesn't steal her away before the wedding, I'm throwing my phone.]
I couldn't help but chuckle at that one and hit reply.
[AmNotSmashingThat96: Same here.]
[Three_Inches_is_Enough: Her father really said 'for the kingdom' like that makes breaking your daughter's heart okay.]
"Such a stupid father," I murmured, shaking my head as I started typing.
[AmNotSmashingThat96: Yeah, man's acting like emotional trauma is part of state policy.]
[Athex: I just know the moment she walks down that aisle, he's going to burst in with his sword drawn.]
That would be epic, I thought.
[AmNotSmashingThat96: If he doesn't, then what's the point of all that knight training?]
[KnightfallDreamer: Every chapter makes me hate the prince more.]
I leaned back, smirking as I wrote my reply.
[AmNotSmashingThat96: No one is a fan of the prince.]
With a burst of laughter, I dropped my phone and stared at the ceiling, its white finish staring back at me.
"I swear I will find love someday."
Then, I heard something, like an ethereal voice ringing through my head.
"Why wait any longer?"
"Huh?"