Love.
Everyone talks about it like it's some universal experience. The pull, the spark, the rush. Most guys feel it at least once, that strange punch to the gut when they meet her.
I never did.
I'm not talking about the guys who drool over every skirt in sight. I mean the real thing. The moment that makes a man think he's finally found something he doesn't want to lose.
I wanted to know why that feeling never reached me. Not in high school. Not in university. Not even in those random moments when everyone else seemed to pair off effortlessly.
So I tried something stupid.
I bought a romance novel.
My logic was simple. If I couldn't understand love from experience, maybe I could learn it from fiction. This one was about a princess who loses everything after a betrayal, then finds hope again in the arms of her lover.
Yeah, it sounded cliché. But everyone online swore it was peak romance, so I gave it a shot.
Before I could get too deep into it, a loud voice snapped me out of the story.
"What are you reading?"
My little sister. Expert at ruining quiet moments. If yanderes ever existed outside fiction, she'd be the worst of them.
"Just another webnovel," I said, eyes still on my screen.
"Another? You promised that after finishing that harem trash, you'd read the manga I recommended."
"For the last time, harems aren't trash. You just don't understand them."
She scoffed. "What's there to understand? It's always the same thing. Some clueless guy surrounded by desperate girls. Gross."
"Yeah, no point arguing with you."
She leaned closer, wearing that annoying grin she always has when she's about to say something stupid. "Forget arguing. Just tell me why you still won't read the manga I picked."
I sighed. "Why do you care so much?"
"Okay, don't get mad, alright? You know I hate it when you're mad at me."
"What did you do?"
She hesitated. Then she dropped it like a bomb.
"I think you're gay."
"...Gay?"
"Yes. Gay."
"What the—why would you even think that?"
She shrugged. "Because I've never seen you with a girl. Not once."
"So that's your conclusion?"
"It just seems like you don't like girls. Maybe reading this BL manga will help you figure yourself out."
"No thanks. I know myself just fine. And I'm definitely not gay."
"I'M JUST WORRIED!"
That one actually caught me. She never raised her voice unless something really hit her.
"What was that for?" I asked.
Her eyes filled up fast, and before I knew it she pressed her face against my chest, soaking my shirt with her tears. Normally I'd complain. This time? I didn't even think about it.
"It's just… I'm scared you won't ever find love."
Ah.
So that's what this was about.
"But I have you," I said, wiping her tears.
She shook her head. "No, that's different. I'm your sister."
She grabbed my hand and squeezed it, voice trembling. "I mean real love. Someone who loves you back. Someone who's yours. You read all these romance novels, and I know why. You want to understand it. You want to feel it."
I raised my hands in mock surrender. "Alright, caught in the act."
"This isn't a joke," she said, frowning. "I'm being serious."
"Yeah, well, it's not my fault you sound ridiculous. And you don't have to worry about my love life. I just haven't found the one yet."
She tilted her head, smiling in that weird way she does when she thinks she knows better. I ignored her and went back to reading.
But her words stuck.
What if she was right?
What if I couldn't love? Or worse… what if no one ever loved me?
It wasn't like I was shy. I wasn't awkward. I could talk to anyone just fine. So what was wrong with me?
Twenty-one, still a virgin, and starting to feel like the universe was laughing behind my back.
Then, she sniffed hard, wiped her face on my shirt again, then glared up at me like it was my fault she cried.
"You're impossible," she muttered.
"Me? You're the one accusing your own brother of being gay because I read novels."
"I didn't accuse you," she said, poking my chest. "I said I think you might be. That's different."
"Not really."
"Yes, it is."
"That's not how that works."
She huffed and crossed her arms, "You don't get it."
"Then explain it."
She looked away, chewing her lip, "You never talk about crushes. You never flirt. You don't check girls out. You don't even get flustered when they talk to you. It's weird."
"So because I'm not drooling over every girl like a simp, that means something is wrong with me?"
I sighed and continued, "I'm fine. I just haven't met anyone I click with."
She raised a brow. "Ever?"
"Ever."
Her eyes softened again, "Doesn't that scare you?"
"Why would it?"
"Because I don't want you ending up alone."
I gently flicked her forehead. "I'm twenty-one, not eighty."
She rubbed her head dramatically. "Still. I worry. You act all calm and cool, but I know you. You overthink everything, you bottle stuff up, and you pretend you don't care, but you do."
"Okay, Ms. know-it-all. Anything else?"
"Yeah." She leaned closer, suddenly serious. "I hate the idea of someone hurting you."
That one hit deeper than I expected.
I kept my voice casual, "Who said anyone will hurt me?"
"Everyone gets hurt in love."
I paused, then continued. "And you think that's a reason to avoid it?"
"No. It's a reason I want you to find the right person." Her voice dropped. "Someone who won't hurt you."
I stared at her for a long second. "Since when did you become this dramatic?"
She shoved me lightly. "Shut up. You're making fun of me again."
"Only because you make it so easy."
"Idiot."
"And there it is."
She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling now. "Just promise me something."
"What?"
"When you finally catch feelings—which you will—don't pretend you don't. Don't run from it."
"Why would I run?"
"Because that's who you are."
I blinked. "That's… incredibly rude."
"But true."
I sighed. "Fine. I promise."
'Why is she persistent on this?'
I quickly shake the thoughts off and kept scrolling until I hit the end of the available chapters.
[You've caught up with all the released chapters. Show your support with a gift to help keep the author's motivation going!]
Thirty chapters. Not bad. I'd give the novel an eight out of ten, mostly because romance still isn't my thing. I only read it to understand what everyone else seems to feel so naturally.
Out of habit, I opened the comments.
[What_UnderThere23: Ugh, why do kings think marriage is just politics? Let the girl choose love for once!]
"Hmph." I couldn't help replying.
[AmNotSmashingThat96: Totally agree. She deserves to choose who she wants.]
[VelvetTear: The tension between her and the knight is killing me. One glance and you can see everything she's holding back.]
"True," I muttered.
[AmNotSmashingThat96: Right? The author really knows how to build tension.]
[RoyalRebel: If that knight doesn't steal her before the wedding, I'm throwing my phone.]
That pulled a laugh out of me.
[AmNotSmashingThat96: Same here.]
[Three_Inches_is_Enough: Her father really said 'for the kingdom' like that makes breaking your daughter's heart okay.]
"What an idiot," I murmured.
[AmNotSmashingThat96: Yeah, man's acting like emotional trauma is part of state policy.]
[Athex: I just know the moment she walks down that aisle, he's going to burst in with his sword drawn.]
Now that would be cool.
[AmNotSmashingThat96: If he doesn't, then why even train as a knight?]
[KnightfallDreamer: Every chapter makes me hate the prince more.]
I leaned back, smirking.
[AmNotSmashingThat96: Trust me, no one likes the prince.]
I dropped my phone beside me and stared at the ceiling.
"I swear I'll find love someday."
That's when I heard it.
An ethereal voice. Clear. Gentle. Impossible.
Why wait any longer?
"Huh?"
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[A/N:] Welcome to my first novel, and yes it's another 'Extra' novel to add to the growing ranks of that in webnovel. Never mind, this is just another author plea to his loyal masters, his readers. I ask not much, but some piece of your power stones and time to comments.
And also, dropping a review would definitely help me understand what you like and don't like about the story.