The arena trembled as the gigantic crimson loading spinner shattered like glass, revealing something far worse behind it:
A floating obsidian tablet, covered in glowing red text.
Shion's pupils shrank.
Raon squinted. "Uh… is that… a big iPad?"
Shion shook her head in terror.
"No, Raon. That's the worst enemy any hero can face…"
Lightning cracked.
The tablet rotated, displaying its name in infernal letters:
PATCH NOTES 2.0
Raon gasped.
Shion screamed internally.
The sky uninstalled itself again, just out of fear.
---
1. The Patch Notes Descend
The tablet projected a booming voice:
"ATTENTION HEROES.
PATCH 2.0 HAS BEEN DEPLOYED."
A blast of patch energy surged out.
Raon: "PATCH WHAT—"
Shion grabbed her arm. "Raon, GET BACK! Patch Notes are reality-altering entities! They can rewrite the physics engine!"
The tablet glowed brighter.
"BALANCE ADJUSTMENTS…"
Raon took a step forward. "I don't like that tone."
"…DAMAGE FROM KICKS REDUCED BY 90%."
Raon froze.
A single tear slid down her cheek.
"Shion… did it just say… I got nerfed?"
Shion swallowed. "…Yes."
Raon screamed to the heavens:
"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"
---
2. The Nerfs Begin
The patch tablet unleashed a wave of red code across the battlefield.
Raon tried to kick a boulder.
TAP.
It barely cracked.
Raon grabbed her heart.
"I—I can't live like this…"
Shion scanned the tablet with her device.
"It gets worse."
Raon: "Worse than a kick nerf!?"
Shion read:
"DASH SPEED REDUCED BY 80%."
Raon attempted to dash.
She moved at the speed of a depressed shopping cart.
"No…" Raon whispered. "My freedom…"
Shion continued reading, horrified:
"COOL POSES AFTER ATTACKS REMOVED."
Raon dropped to her knees.
"My style… my brand… my legacy…"
A new line appeared:
"SHION'S ANALYTICS DEVICE: BATTERY NERFED FROM 100% TO 4%."
Shion shrieked. "HEY! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THAT!?"
Her tablet beeped weakly.
Raon patted her shoulder. "We suffer together."
---
3. Patch Notes Spawns Minions
The tablet trembled.
Red symbols shot into the ground.
From the cracked floor rose tiny gremlin-like creatures made of raw code.
Shion scanned them:
PATCHLINGS
—Creatures that force updates on anything they touch.
Raon recoiled. "EW. They look like corrupted emojis."
One Patchling jumped at her.
She roundhouse kicked it—
plink
It bounced harmlessly off the nerfed kick.
The Patchling screamed at her:
"WEAK. WEEEEAAAKKK."
Raon's eyebrow twitched.
"Oh. OH. OKAY."
She tried punching it.
plink
No damage.
More Patchlings crawled out.
A horde.
A sea of them.
Shion grabbed Raon's arm. "We need to retreat! Until we find a workaround—"
The sky boomed.
The tablet grew twice its size.
"NEW PATCH NOTE DETECTED."
Shion and Raon looked up in dread.
"SPRINT BUTTON REMOVED."
Raon: "…"
Shion: "…"
Both: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—"
---
4. The Patch Notes Attempts to Rewrite History
The obsidian slab hummed with raw, malicious programming energy as new text appeared:
"RETCON: RAON'S KICKS NEVER ONE-SHOT ENEMIES."
Raon's jaw dropped.
"That is a LIE."
"RETCON: SHION WAS NEVER BEAUTIFUL."
Shion's entire soul left her body.
"…excuse me?"
Raon wrapped an arm around her immediately. "IT'S LYING. DON'T LISTEN."
Shion puffed her cheeks. "You can nerf my battery, not my beauty!"
The tablet continued:
"RETCON: SHION IS NOW MEDIUM-CUTE AT BEST."
Shion screamed: "NOOOOO! RAON HELP!"
Raon charged the slab.
Her foot glowed—
—and did exactly 3 damage.
Raon: "THREE!? THREE!?"
The tablet boomed:
"NERF SUCCESSFUL."
---
5. Something Snaps Inside Raon
Raon stood there trembling.
Shion had seen that look only twice:
1. When Raon found out her favorite cereal was discontinued.
2. When Maestro Dome released a version of his song with auto-tune.
Raon lifted her foot again.
A tiny spark of blue energy pulsed around it.
Her voice was calm, deadly calm.
"Shion."
"Yes?"
"I refuse to live in a world where my kicks do single-digit damage."
The spark intensified.
The ground cracked beneath her.
Shion's eyes widened.
"Raon… you're… resisting the patch."
Raon's hair lifted from her shoulders like a rising flame.
"NO NERF can contain a true One Kick Girl."
The tablet alerted:
"WARNING. HERO IS EXHIBITING PATCH-RESISTANT BEHAVIOR."
Raon lifted her leg.
Shion gasped.
"That aura—you're accessing an UNPATCHED BACKUP OF YOUR KICK DATA!"
Raon smirked.
"My legs never downloaded the update."
---
6. De-Nerf Mode: The Forbidden Kick Cache
Blue flames wrapped around Raon's limbs.
The effects blasted outward:
• Her dash speed restored.
• Her attack power surged.
• Her cool poses returned with extra sparkle.
• Shion's beauty stat went back to "radiant".
Shion clutched her chest. "I… I feel prettier again…"
Raon winked. "As it should be."
The tablet roared:
"OVERRIDE DETECTED. INITIATING ULTRA-NERF PROTOCOL."
The sky cracked.
Red lightning struck Raon.
Her kick aura flickered—
—but she kicked through it.
Shion whispered:
"…she's too strong to be patched…"
---
7. Final Attack: "Patch Uninstall Kick!"
The slab floated high above them, absorbing the entire battlefield's code.
Raon pointed at it dramatically.
"YOUR TERMS AND CONDITIONS ARE UNACCEPTABLE!"
Her kick aura rose into a blazing vortex.
She leapt.
The tablet released a beam of patch energy—
—Shion screamed—
—Raon kicked through the beam like it was tissue paper.
"ONE KICK…"
She reached the tablet.
"…UNINSTALL—"
Her foot connected.
"…COMPLETE!!"
KAAAAA-BOOOOOOM!!!
The Patch Notes exploded into a thousand scattered changelogs, which conveniently deleted themselves.
The arena restored.
Raon landed.
Shion caught her.
Both panted.
"…we did it," Shion whispered.
Raon nodded. "Balance this."
---
A glowing message appeared in the air:
"PATCH NOTES DEFEATED."
"REWARD: HOTFIX 2.01"
"BUFF: KICK POWER +900%"
Raon smiled slowly.
Shion hugged her tighter.
The next boss was doomed.
---
END OF CHAPTER 108