One Kick Girl — Chapter 106: "MLM Seraph: Wings of Passive Income Lies"
Full comedy–action mayhem • Shion POV (painfully logical despair)
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1. The Sky Opens With… a Motivational Quote
A thunderous crack split the sky above HQ.
Lightning carved glowing cursive text across the clouds:
"BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
NOW BUY MY STARTER KIT."
Shion dropped her tablet.
Raon squinted.
"…Is God trying to sell us something?"
Yuno flattened herself behind a smoothie.
"No… worse…"
The air shimmered.
A radiant figure descended:
– Six wings of blinding white light
– Each feather shaped like a QR code
– Armor made of motivational posters
– A halo rotating like a PowerPoint spinner
– A smile sharper than hidden membership fees
He landed gracefully.
THE MLM SERAPH.
His voice was syrupy poison:
> "HELLO BEAUTIFUL SOULS!
READY TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND MAYBE ALSO MY DOWNLINE?"
Shion whispered to Raon:
"Don't—
DON'T—
make eye contact. He pitches harder when they see hope."
Raon blinked.
"I don't have hope."
"Exactly. Stay that way."
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2. He Begins His Sales Pitch (Nobody Escapes)
The Seraph's wings unfurled.
Each wing projected a "business opportunity" slide.
> "WITH JUST RM999 YOU TOO CAN
EARN RM3 A MONTH PASSIVELY!"
Manager Kimchi screamed.
"That's NEGATIVE profit!"
The Seraph fluttered toward him.
> "Ahh but sir, you're thinking small.
Think BIG.
Think DEBT."
Shion grabbed Raon's hand.
"We need to move before he recruits us."
Raon looked confused.
"Can he make me join?"
"Yes. He weaponizes FOMO."
Raon gasped.
"That's my weakness."
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3. Dome Falls Instantly
Maestro Dome stepped forward.
"Greetings heavenly being—"
The Seraph's eyes sparkled.
> "YOU have LEADER ENERGY."
Dome blushed. "I do??"
> "YES. BUY MY PREMIUM PACKAGE."
"Okay!"
Shion facepalmed so hard she nearly broke her wrist.
"Sena! Yuno! Drag him back before he signs anything!"
Yuno screamed, "I CAN'T—HE'S ALREADY IN A GROUP CHAT."
On Dome's phone:
WELCOME TO: MILLIONAIRE MINDSET TRIBE (2870 members muted)
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4. The Seraph Unleashes His TRUE POWER
He lifted both hands.
Golden light shimmered.
Screens all across HQ displayed:
"CONGRATULATIONS!
YOU HAVE BEEN PERSONALLY SELECTED FOR A LIFE-CHANGING OPPORTUNITY!"
Raon recoiled like she'd been stabbed.
"This feels illegal."
Shion corrected: "It is illegal."
The Seraph spread his wings.
> "MY CHILDREN… JOIN ME!
BUY MY PRODUCT!
RECRUIT OTHERS!
FOR THIS IS THE PATH… TO THE TOP OF THE PYRAMID!"
The lights dimmed.
The floor tiles rearranged into a literal glowing pyramid chart.
At the top was the Seraph.
Under him:
thousands of empty boxes waiting for victims—
sorry, "entrepreneurs."
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5. Shion Identifies His Weakness
Shion tapped Raon's shoulders.
"Listen carefully."
Raon nodded with the seriousness of someone who absolutely did not understand.
"MLM Seraphs cannot handle one thing."
"What thing?"
Shion inhaled.
"MATH."
Raon blinked.
"Math hurts everyone though."
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6. The Counterattack: Ruining the Business Model
Shion stepped forward.
"MLM Seraph!
If everyone recruits two people,
and those two recruit two—
how many people will you need in ten cycles?"
The Seraph froze.
His wings flickered.
His smile twitched.
> "I… uh… it's… exponential… abundance…"
Shion pressed harder.
"In ten cycles, that requires 1,024 recruits.
In twenty cycles: 1,048,576.
In thirty: over a billion.
Explain how that's sustainable."
The Seraph's halo flickered like a dying router.
> "I–I–I… BELIEVE IN DREAMS… NOT NUMBERS…"
Screens around HQ began glitching.
Motivational posters warped:
"SUCCESS IS INFINITE!"
→
"SUCCESS IS… MATH??"
He shrieked.
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7. Raon's Finisher: Kicking the Pyramid Scheme
The pyramid chart cracked.
The Seraph stumbled.
Shion yelled:
"RAON!
Kick him before he remembers what a calculator is!"
Raon rocketed forward.
"THIS IS FOR EVERYONE WHO EVER JOINED A TERRIBLE GROUP CHAT!"
She unleashed:
THE PYRAMID BREAKER ROUNDHOUSE.
Her kick shattered every wing of the Seraph.
QR feathers flew everywhere.
The Seraph screamed as the pyramid structure collapsed.
> "MY DOWNLINE—
MY PROFITS—
MY… MOTIVATIONAL… PASSIVE… INNNNNNNNCOME—"
He exploded into glittery debt particles and expired discount codes.
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8. Aftermath
Dome was released from 37 group chats.
Yuno recovered enough to sip her smoothie.
Manager Kimchi burned seven recruitment pamphlets in a trash can.
Raon looked at Shion.
"…So we saved the world from financial education?"
Shion took her hand gently.
"No, Raon.
We saved the world from BAD financial education."
Raon nodded proudly. "Same thing."
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9. Post-Credit Horror
Deep inside the motherboard…
Remnants of:
– Buffer King
– Spinwheel Emperor
– Cookie Consent Devil
– Subscription Overlord
– Cashback Reaper
– MLM Seraph
all merged into a terrifying new digital core.
A new voice whispered:
> UPLOADING FINAL THREAT…
THE ALGORITHM OVERMIND.
> "I HAVE STUDIED YOU.
I KNOW YOUR PREFERENCES.
AND YOU CANNOT ESCAPE MY RECOMMENDATIONS."
Shion turned pale.
"…This one might actually kill us."
Raon smiled.
"Good.
I'll kick it anyway."