One Kick Girl — Chapter 104: "Premium Nightmare: The Membership Program Cult"
1. Peace Doesn't Last Even Five Minutes
Shion had exactly 200 seconds of peace.
Raon defeated the Subscription Overlord.
The checkout page exploded.
The universe was not charging them hidden fees anymore.
They even bought snacks—in cash.
Shion bit into a biscuit with the bliss of a war veteran.
Then the cashier asked:
> "Would you like to sign up for our membership program?"
Shion froze mid-chew.
Raon blinked. "…Is it free?"
The cashier smiled the smile of a demon disguised as a minimum-wage angel.
> "Yes! Free to sign up. Just your name, phone number, email, house address, credit card, blood type, NRIC, mother's maiden name—"
Shion grabbed Raon.
"RUN."
---
2. The Membership Cult Emerges
They burst out of the store, panting.
But it was too late.
The air shimmered.
A massive sigil appeared in the sky shaped like a QR code halo.
Hooded figures stepped out of the shadows, robes embroidered with point cards.
Synthra Byte screamed from behind a vending machine.
"The Membership Program Cult! WHY ARE THEY ACTIVE AGAIN?!"
Each cultist chanted:
> "JOIN US.
COLLECT POINTS.
COLLECT MORE POINTS.
NEVER STOP COLLECTING."
Their leader stepped forward—a tall man whose cloak was made of thousands of plastic membership cards.
Around his neck hung a glowing lanyard from 1998.
Raon squinted.
"…Is that a JUSCO card?"
Shion whispered: "That shouldn't EXIST anymore."
The cult leader raised his staff—a barcode scanner with ominous red light.
> "SUBMIT YOUR PERSONAL DATA.
GAIN… REWARDS."
---
3. Raon VS Points Accumulation
A cultist lunged.
Shion dodged.
Raon just stood there.
"Wait—how many points do I get?"
Shion slapped the back of her head.
"No! NO POINTS!"
Raon pouted. "But I like points…"
The cult tried to slap a QR code sticker onto Raon's forehead.
Raon karate-kicked him through a rack of umbrellas.
Shion sighed in relief.
"Good job."
Raon crossed her arms. "He tried to scan my face!"
"That's literally their thing."
---
4. The Loyalty Tier System Appears
The cult leader tapped his ancient lanyard.
The sky cracked open.
A floating UI appeared:
> LOYALTY TIERS – Bronze (you get nothing) – Silver (still nothing) – Gold (you think you get something—but you don't) – Platinum (even worse) – DIAMOND ULTIMATE SUPREME (requires your soul)
Raon pointed.
"Ooo… shiny."
Shion grabbed her cheeks.
"No. I forbid you. NO SHINY TIERS."
Synthra Byte scanned the giant UI.
"Wait! The tiers have battle power! They increase his strength!"
The cult leader absorbed the glowing tier system.
His robe shimmered.
His scanner staff grew in size.
His voice echoed:
> "UPGRADE…
TO PREMIUM."
---
5. Shion's Trauma: Backstory Unlocked
Shion trembled.
Raon blinked. "Shion? What's wrong?"
Shion exhaled shakily.
"…Raon.
I… used to be a member."
Raon gasped. "OF THEIR cult!?"
"No—of a grocery store membership program."
Raon blinked again. "…That's not the same."
Shion grabbed her shoulders.
"It is EXACTLY the same! I once spent RM300 just to get enough points for a free plastic container! A SINGLE ONE!"
Raon paled. "…Horrifying."
---
6. The Cult Leader Attacks
The leader hurled a blinding beam:
"REGISTER NOW!"
The beam hit the ground, carving the words SIGN UP TODAY into the street.
Raon dodged.
Shion rolled behind her.
Dozens of robed members chanted:
> "COLLECT!
EARN!
REDEEM NEVER!"
---
7. Shion's Counterplan: The Deadliest Word
Shion took a deep breath.
"I know how to beat this."
Raon nodded. "Kicking?"
"No."
"Super kicking?"
"No."
"…Ultra mega kicking—?"
"NO."
Shion stood tall and shouted the one word that all membership programs fear:
"UNSUBSCRIBE!"
The cult recoiled.
Their robes flickered.
Their lanyards glitched.
The leader staggered back, gripping his scanner staff.
> "YOU SPEAK THE UNSPEAKABLE…"
Shion shouted it again.
"UNSUBSCRIBE!!"
---
8. Raon Delivers the Final Blow
Raon jumped onto a lamp post.
Did a flip.
Landed behind the cult leader.
Kicked him in the spine so hard his lanyard exploded into expired vouchers.
The leader turned to ash.
The loyalty tier UI shattered.
All membership cards on his cloak combusted into confetti.
The sky cleared.
The cultists fled screaming:
> "HERESY!
SHE REFUSES REWARDS!"
---
9. Aftermath
Synthra Byte dusted off her coat.
"That was worse than the Subscription Overlord."
Shion sighed. "At least this one didn't ask for our credit card."
Raon raised her hand.
"…Can I still collect points?"
Shion grabbed her face.
"NO."
Raon pouted.
"What if the points are cute?"
"No."
"What if they're shaped like stars?"
"No."
"What if they give free snacks?"
Shion hesitated.
Raon's eyes sparkled.
Shion broke.
"…Maybe. ONE program."
Raon cheered.
Synthra Byte facepalmed.