I. The Kissing Melee and Vael's Revival
Vael, recently revived from his fainting spell, found himself in a terrifying tangle. Grunt (the kiss-ritual enthusiast) and Sir Kaelan (the pure-face protector) were still trying to pull him apart, while the four wives were converging for the Kissing Plot.
"The Feigned Illness Sub-Plot is active!" Seraphina shrieked, dramatically falling towards Vael with open lips.
"Inefficient!" Serana countered, trying to elbow Seraphina aside. "I must execute the Strategic Exchange! One kiss for his complete loyalty!"
Vael screamed, trying to twist away. "No! I'm not a trophy! I'm a writer! Aah!"
In the chaos, Lyra, the methodical one, simply grabbed Vael's head with both hands. "I will achieve the Statistical Mean!" she announced, pulling his face towards hers.
Vael closed his eyes, bracing for impact.
CLANG!
Astra intercepted the attempt, placing her armored shoulder between Lyra and Vael. The entire group instantly descended into a five-way, no-contact tussle around Vael.
Vael, whose consciousness had returned, thought: This is it. I'm going to die by rotational lip-smash.
Suddenly, Anaya stepped forward, shouting: "STOP IT, ALL OF YOU!"
"You are violating the VOPP! Section 3, Subsection A: 'No intimacy attempts shall be made under duress or in a statistically compromised environment!'"
The strategic wives paused. The Kissing Plot was temporarily foiled by the introduction of Rules and Charts.
II. The Suffocation of Perfection
Vael sat alone, contemplating his fate. The silence was broken only by the methodical click-whirr of Lyra's VOPP monitor.
Vael felt the Harem Squeeze—the terrifying realization that his life was now an optimal, non-violent, zero-freedom prison. I'll die of sheer, overwhelming bureaucratic love! He thought of the 95 wives still required.
A new, desperate plan formed: The Blitz Harem Strategy.
I need a place with hundreds of simple, non-warrior women who don't carry swords or develop military protocols. As a struggling poet on Earth, I dreamed of a mass audience. Now I'll get one! I'll hit them with a rhyme, trigger the Aura, and finish the mission in one day!
III. The Pleading Performance for Freedom
Vael put on his best theatrical frown and walked out.
"My loves," Vael started, his voice thick with feigned emotion. "I love you all dearly, but I feel our love is stagnating. We are confined, and the truth, my darlings, is that I feel suffocated! My poetic spirit cannot expand to accommodate the immense love I feel for you when I am trapped in this small box!"
The wives were instantly worried. The idea that the VOPP was damaging Vael's "love flow" terrified them.
"The Capital City!" Vael announced with false excitement. "A place where my inspiration can flow freely, and my spirit can expand! My heart will be full, and my love for you will flourish! It's a way for us to be together, but not feel so... together."
The wives were convinced. Astra roared, Lyra started drawing a marching chart, and Seraphina started designing a new traveling wardrobe.
IV. Neutralizing the Male Admirers
As they prepared to leave the Divine Barrier, Vael spotted Grunt and Sir Kaelan waiting patiently.
Vael approached the barrier, his face set in a serious, strategic expression.
"Brave warriors!" Vael called out. "I have a Secret Mission of Utmost Importance for you both! I fear our enemies will seize this empty lodge. Your mission is to defend this territory in my absence! Protect the very soil where our love began! It is a task that requires your supreme strength and unwavering vigilance!"
Kaelan saluted fiercely. "It shall be done, Master! We shall defend your sacred soil!"
Grunt nodded. "We will not let any rogue kissers near this sacred ground, King Vael!"
Vael smiled, relieved. Told them to protect the ground, not me.
V. The Strategist's Agreement
Before departure, Serana stopped the group.
"We must agree," Serana said, looking Vael in the eye. "We are going to the Capital. The poetry aura will affect non-warrior women easily. No lethal force on the new additions. They are merely statistical data points required for the Consort's mission. We will simply contain them when they are charmed."
Vael, completely delighted with the entire plan, whispered a final, defiant rhyme to the heavens:
"The wives are calm, the plan is clean, I'll finish this, a final scene. One hundred souls, I'll quickly claim, then peace returns to Vael's name."
Vael led his five highly protective wives and his logical True Love towards the bustling Capital City, ready to execute his final, desperate move.