Abel Ereshkigal stared at the machine on his desk like it held all the answers. It probably did. This wasn't just a PC; it was his escape pod from a decade of soul-crushing corporate monotony.
He looked exactly like what he was: a former office drone. His build was lean in the way that comes from a thousand skipped lunches and a permanent slouch. At thirty-one, the tiredness had settled deep, painting permanent dark circles under his brown eyes. He'd spent nine years in a cubicle, his spirit slowly eroded by pointless meetings and data entry for a mid-level corporation that valued spreadsheets over people. He'd finally done it. He'd walked into his boss's office, said the words "I quit," and now here he was. Freedom, or something like it, was a single button press away.
I sold my car for the graphics card, he mused, and I'm pretty sure my soul is now officially worth less than my cooling system. And that's not even a joke.
He'd built this thing to be perfect. Every component was top-tier, a testament to his desperation. Well, almost every component.
His eyes drifted to the boxy, plasticky unit at the bottom of the beautiful case. The power supply. The cheap one.
It's just a glorified battery, he'd told himself during checkout. How much of a difference can it really make?
He took a breath that was more of a sigh. Here goes nothing. Or everything.
His finger hovered over the power button. The final switch. The official start of his grand streaming adventure.
He pressed it.
The system whirred beautifully. For one perfect, glorious second, it worked.
Then the power supply answered his question about how much of a difference it could make. It made all the difference.
A high-pitched whine, like a hornet trapped in a tin can, screamed from the bottom of the case. The smell of hot plastic and profound regret filled the air.
Wait, is that-
BANG.
The sound wasn't electrical. It was geological. The tempered glass side panel ceased to be glass and became a cloud of shimmering dust. The triumphant RGB lights were replaced by a single, violent shower of orange sparks.
Well, Abel thought, the world dissolving into a shower of light and fragmented plastic.
Well, shit.
His last thought was pure, unadulterated annoyance. Not at death, but at the sheer, mundane stupidity of it. He hadn't been struck down by a truck-kun isekai express. No. He'd been taken out by the one piece of the puzzle he'd decided to save a few bucks on. The irony was a physical blow.
Then, nothing.
---
The oppressive darkness shattered. Not into light, but into everything.
Abel's consciousness snapped into a reality of impossible scale. He wasn't standing on anything. He was simply present at the center of a swirling galaxy. Stars ignited like fireworks around him, and nebulae painted the void in hues of emerald and amethyst. He drifted at the nexus of creation itself.
Whoa.
This was beyond anything he had imagined. The swirling cosmic clouds, the silent dance of planets forming. It was the most incredible thing he had ever seen.
This… this is it! The real isekai summoning! No truck-kun, just a faulty power supply. A weirdly specific, but effective, catalyst.
Okay, this is definitely not a corporate lobby. This is the universe's main stage. And I'm the star.
A form began to manifest from the starlight, weaving cosmic energy into a being of profound majesty. Her eyes held the light of dying suns and newborn black holes.
I'm the main character.
The goddess spoke, her voice the harmonic resonance of colliding galaxies.
"Your mortal coil has been… discharged."
Okay, a little corporate, but the special effects are top-notch.
She was the most beautiful, terrifying, and awe-inspiring thing he had ever witnessed.
Her lips curved into a knowing, benevolent smile. This was the moment of revelation.
"Abel Ereshkigal," she said, her tone rich with cosmic importance.
"A new path awaits you."
Yes! A new path! A fantasy world! Magic!
His spirit, a moment ago resigned to oblivion, now soared with stupid, brilliant hope.
This is my cheat skill moment. I can feel it.
She extended a hand, and the very fabric of spacetime seemed to ripple.
"You have been selected."
Selected! For my grand destiny!
"Your potential has been recognized by the celestial bureaucracy."
Celestial bureaucracy? That sounds… corporate.
The goddess produced a shimmering, ethereal tablet. Data scrolled across its surface.
"Let us now determine your… optimal placement."
Placement. Right. In my new kingdom. Or as the chosen wizard. Something amazing.
The goddess smiled, a gesture that could calm supernovas.
"Abel Ereshkigal," she said, her voice a symphony of cosmic forces. "Your mortal existence has been processed."
Her gaze was ancient and knowing.
"A new destiny awaits you."
Abel could barely contain his excitement.
This is it. My isekai moment. I knew it.
She produced a shimmering interface. It looked like a divine version of his old company's HR portal.
"Your file is… interesting."
She scrolled through the data, a faint celestial chime sounding.
"Let us see what the celestial market has determined for you."
A celestial stock ticker materialized beside her, symbols flashing in rapid succession.
"Processing your soul metrics now."
The screen updated with clean, corporate text.
CANDIDATE: Abel Ereshkigal
SOUL INTEGRITY: 85/100
PROCESSING EFFICIENCY: 22/100
CORPORATE COMPLIANCE: 5/100
Okay. Not great. But maybe it's a humble beginning for a hero.
PROCESSING EFFICIENCY: 22/100
Twenty two? That's… not great.
The goddess looked at him, her expression still serene.
"The Karmic Rebirth Consortium has declined your application."
What?
"The Eternal Valhalla Corporation passed. They cited a lack of martial sprit."
Hey!
She continued scrolling.
"The data is conclusive. Your optimal placement is within a structured administrative framework."
No, no, no. Don't say it.
"Standard heroic reincarnation is not a viable pathway."
No hero class?
"The market indicates your soul is best suited for… middle management."
What?!
"Specifically, the Grim Reaper track at Azrael Incorporated."
Grim Reaper? So I am like… HR, but for dead people?
The goddess gave a small, efficient nod.
"Your new role involves the acquisition and processing of designated souls."
Soul acquisition. That sounds like procurement. I have done procurement.
"Your orientation begins in five seconds."