The morning hits the window of our room. It's 7:30 am. They asked me to be on time, so I come out of my blanket and go to the washroom to take a shower. Wang Ruoxi is still asleep as today there is no class. Without disturbing her, I quickly move to the washroom. After taking a shower, I need to be formal, so I am confused about what to wear today. While biting my nails, I open the cupboard and just keep thinking what to wear. Just like every girl's problem, I don't have anything good to wear, but here I got my blue jeans with a white top. Yes, it is a bit formal and good also. Mama always said I look good in white, so this one. Then I change into those clothes.
While standing in front of the mirror, I think, what hairstyle should I do? Shall I open it or tie it? Ooo so confusing. I scratch my head while looking at myself in the mirror. Then suddenly my attention is drawn towards the window, where outside it's looking very cold. Cold air has started in Shanghai; sooner or later winters will hit Shanghai.
"Zhao Shiza, first you wear something warm, then think whether to tie your hair or open it."
Then I take out my brown jacket from the cupboard and wear it on my top. Yes, now it's perfect. Now I won't catch a cold. I smile, then I comb my hair and just leave it open. Then suddenly a voice comes from behind.
"Wowwww, you are looking like a walking doll." It's Wang Ruoxi, who says this to me with her half-opened eyes.
"Stop exaggerating, Ruoxi. You didn't open your eyes fully and you're saying this. I'm not that stupid."
"Everything looks exaggerating to you, right Shiza?"
I nod my head yes and proudly say, "Yes, everything."
"Now don't waste your time arguing with me. It's your first day, don't get late for shooting."
I see the time. It's 8:41 am. Ooo how fast time goes in winters. I need to hurry up. Then I take my bag and go out of the room.
"All the best, Shiza, for your first day," said Ruoxi.
"Thanks," I say to her while leaving the dorm.
Then I reach the road and take a bus from there. I get into the bus and sit on the left side by the window. While looking outside, I start thinking that today Xu Yuan will also be there. I don't know how to react to this—whether to be happy or not—but then I suddenly remember that he already has his girlfriend since long ago. He even did drama series with her. So I am not anywhere, and I can't chase a man who is already someone else's. It's his personal life, and we are going to do professional things together, so be professional, Zhao Shiza. Remember what bàba said: no matter how difficult our life becomes, we should always give a smile to it and accept it. It's a round-table game. Whatever comes on our table, we have to take it. Sometimes good things will come, sometimes bad ones, but we should always take whatever comes.
Yes, this is my motivational thought today to pass this. I know it's going to be difficult.
Then the bus stops. I reach my destination within 45 minutes. I come out of the bus and stand outside the shooting set, gathering the courage to go inside. I take a deep sigh.
"Zhao Shiza, you can do it."
Then I start moving inside the set, and there the assistant is standing at the entrance—the same assistant who helped me in the look test.
"Nín hǎo, zǎoshang hǎo, nǚshì," the assistant says to me.
I smile and reply, "Zǎoshang hǎo."
"Please come here, ma'am. There is your room. You can change your costume there and take rest in between the shoot. It's your personal room from now onwards, and if you need any help then you can call me."
Then she goes from there, leaving me confused.
I say to myself, "How should I call her when I need her? I don't know her name and not even her phone number. Ok, leave it."
Then I go inside the room and lock the door.
And it's so amazing. Now I know how the personal rooms of actors look. I am mesmerized by the room interiors.
"Oook I'll use this in some of my design."
Yes, the interior designer in me always finds something related to it.
"Woowwww, the circulation space is also considered here. Well designed, I must say."
Then a knock on the door. I get startled and open the door immediately without asking who it is.
The same assistant is standing in front of me.
"Ma'am, I am here to give you this costume. Change it and come, your first shot is ready."
Then she starts moving, but I say, "Excuse me…"
I hesitate first, my eyes down, looking at the floor like I have lost something very precious and I'm finding it on the floor itself.
"Did Mr. Xu Yuan arrive?"
She smiles and very politely says, "Yes ma'am, he has arrived, and he is also ready for the shot. We all are waiting for you only."
"For me?" I point my finger towards myself.
The assistant smiles and goes from there.
I close the door and immediately change into the costume within 18 seconds. Then I come out of the room for the shot.
And there he is—sitting on the chair in his costume, wearing black pants with a blue shirt. It suits him… no, he suits this outfit.
He is using his phone, maybe checking something very important. He looks quite busy.
Then the director calls, "Okay, both of you come in front!" calling me and Xu Yuan together.
So our first scene is like we met in college for the first time—an interaction-type scene. They hand over our scripts to us. We both start reading immediately. He completes his script within a few minutes, but I take time, as I am the new one here. I don't know much. I hope he doesn't get angry at me.
Then the director says, "Okay, we are starting to shoot the scene."
Then the scene starts.
"Hey, do you know where classroom 107 is?" he asks.
I say, "Yes, it's on the first floor."
Then he smiles and says, "Do you know what steps I need to take to drink a milk tea with you?"
I start shying and say, "You are such a jerk."
The scene ends.
A voice comes, "Okay perfect, cut it."
No retake, nothing. It's done in one shot, one attempt.
"Okay very good, you both performed well. The scene went well too."
Then the scene is over. I don't know how I performed it, but I just did it. Then he goes towards his room without looking at me, just after the scene ends.
Why should he look at me? I am not worthy enough. After all, he is Xu Yuan, China's most popular star, and I am just an ordinary girl for him. I think he must be thinking why they casted him with someone ordinary like me. I didn't match with him even.
But at least in the scene, he looks at me with carrying love in his eyes. I know it's just for the scene and it's an act, but still it's enough to make my heart flutter.
His eyes are very expressive. He expresses everything with his eyes. That's why I feel like this. He is an outstanding actor, such a good one. That's why I feel it so real. Nothing more than this. So stop giving yourself false delusional dreams, okay? Get it.
Today we only needed to shoot this first scene. Other scenes will be shot tomorrow. This is the message conveyed to me by that assistant.
She is a sweet girl, always helps me. Then I finally ask her, "What's your name?"
She smiles and says, "Yang Lulu."
I smile back and say, "Nice name."
Then she says, "You are Zhao Shiza, right?"
I nod my head while smiling and say, "Yes."
"It's a unique name. What's the meaning of it?"
"It means pure and beautiful, like a poem," I say.
"You are just as your name."
I smile back at her and ask, "Did Mr. Xu Yuan go?"
She says yes and leaves the room.
Then the room is silent. Only I am here.
"He goes so early…" I say to myself while packing my things and bag.
Yes of course, what are you talking, Zhao Shiza? He is doing so many shootings for his new dramas and now this also added. He must be very busy. And you know how hardworking he is. After a long time he is doing modern… I mean before that and now also he is shooting many periodic dramas. Yes, right.
Then my things get packed, and I go out of the room and move out of the set.
I reach the bus stop and wait for the bus to arrive. It gets early evening; it's almost 4 pm. Winter and cold air has started now.
"Shooting takes so much time, right…" I say to myself in my thoughts.
Then the bus arrives….