Brrrrrrr!
That sound was one I was familiar with. It was time to get prepared for school.
School…
The thought of school guided my thoughts towards him. I would be seeing him today again. I would spend another day with him. The thought of being together in the same space with him made my weak heart throb.
This all began three months ago.
I still remember it like it happened yesterday. The day he walked into my bleak life sprinkling it with colors I never knew existed.
Brrrrrr!
My alarm blared again. I reached out feeling for my phone and snoozed it.
I sat up dragging myself out of bed and into the bathroom. My room was an excerpt of black and white. The wallpapers were more than faded, nothing in it other than the creaking bed and study table that had notes scattered over it.
The freezing water slid harshly down my body. The power supply had been cut off.
Again.
I hurriedly got out of the bathroom before I froze to my death. I slipped on my uniform and made way to the kitchen pulling open the overly repaired fridge to be met with emptiness. My shoulders sagged. I was out of food. How could I have forgotten to restock? I had just received payment from the convenience store where I part timed.
Payment?
My brain finally seemed to wake.
Right. My parents' debts had to be cleared.
It'd been years since I began living alone. Since my parents tragic car accident that costed both their lives.
"I ought to have a bit of change…"
I rumaged through my already worn out school bag and found some bills squashed up. Using my hands, I straightened them out.
One, two… two thousand won.
"It was enough to get peanut bread.." I muttered silently resisting the urge to look towards the trash where packs of peanut bread lay.
Brrrrrrrr!
I was going to be late!
I turned off the alarm and rushed out. The door creaked shut behind me. I faintly heard the automated beeping.
The only functioning item in the house.
This house, was the only property I had in my name. The rest… had been claimed by loan sharks and my parents' relatives.
It was laughable how they promised to ensure I was properly taken care of yet disappeared as soon as they got their hands on what they were truly concerned about.
Leaving me with nothing but a rundown house in Gangwon. A community that had been checked off from the list of redevelopment.
The aging neighborhood was surrounded with half demolished houses and houses barely standing.
Like mine.
Hangyeom High was no different. Most of the teachers had resigned and moved to Seoul where they had better opportunities. The building was inhabitable— inconvenient for learning. The teachers who remained were those who stayed out of piety, those who were stuck in Gangwon like I was and those who volunteered to assist.
The upside was Hangyeom High was just a few minutes walk from my house. I walked through the wrecked gates that remained wide open taking in the already familiar surroundings— cherry blossoms trees that had stopped blossoming for years now, it's fallen leaves scattered all over the pathway a stark reminder that this was a godforsaken place and everyone remaining was meant to be here.
"Lee Suhyun student," a gentle voice called out his voice floating to my ears like the wind. My steps halted on their own accord, my body spinning to meet him.
"You're early…" He walked over towards me with calm steps his black coat swayed with the wind as walked. He had a smile on his handsome face— one that never left. I could feel my heart pounding against my ribcage.
"I-I-I set an alarm…" I fumbled for words my breath catching in my throat. He….. He actually called my name!
"Are you sick? Your face is all flushed." His slender hands reached out to touch my forehead. My body froze immediately his hands touched my skin. They were colder than I had expected.
"Cold." I muttered
"Hm?" His brows furrowed as if trying to understand what I was talking about.
"Your hand…. It's cold." I said still in a daze. Was this a dream? Was I standing here having a conversation with him? Was this real?
He looked taken aback by my response. "Ah??"
Heat flooded my cheeks immediately. I took a step back. Why did I blurt that out…
"Not that I was expecting them to be warm…. It's just that teacher is always warm and kind I thought his body would be warm too." My hands fiddled with themselves. I couldn't even look him in the eyes anymore.
I was beyond embarrassed. I was sure I sounded so weird.
Panic flooded my chest.
Was he going to hate me now?
He stared at me for a while before bursting into laughter. His sudden laughter caused my eyes to dart towards his frame. His shoulders trembled slightly, his obsidian eyes behind the frame of glasses he had on carved into slits.
Eh?
"Lee Suhyun, you're funny. I didn't expect you to have this side… you're always silent during class never speaking a word. You surprised me." He said wiping the corner of his eyes.
My eyes widened. He…. All this time, he had been taking notice of me?!
"My hands have always been cold. It's nothing new, you should head to the infrimary and have yourself checked before your cold gets worse. Midterm's just around the corner, can't afford you falling sick." He ruffled my hair and walked off.
I stood rooted to a spot. His touch still lingered. His words rang in my ears.
'Can't afford you falling sick.'
Without realizing it, my lips carved into a smile. I stared at his disappearing figure. He was talking to other students.
Earlier, he probably said that because he was concerned about me as his student but my foolish heart couldn't help but flutter.
He was…. Perfect without any form of blemish. Even though I knew deep down, he harboured no such affections for me I couldn't help but sway whenever he looked my way with such smile.
I adored him.
I guess this was the only exception. He definitely didn't belong here.
****
Soon enough, time flew by and it was time for recess. Students hurried out the classroom in pairs. Either with friends or lovers.
Lovers….
My hands reached into my pocket searching for my phone. I took it out pressing the side button. The screen came alive displaying a picture. His picture.
He was crouching by the roadside tending to a cat, his tall frame shrouded the abandoned animal as if lending it a bit of comfort a warm smile lit up his face.
At that time, he appeared suddenly rescuing the cat that was almost run over by a car. I had just one thought at that time—An angel. One that was so perfect to belong to this world.
"What are you staring at so intently?" I suddenly heard his voice. I hid my phone hurriedly, my face warming. He had no idea I had taken that picture.
Right now, the least impression I wanted him to have of me was a stalker.
"No-Nothing" I stuttered my head rasing to meet his. That action seemed to be the best I had made in my entire life. He was leaning over the table with curious eyes, his face just an inch apart from mine. I could faintly feel his breath. He smelled so fresh and clean, like the ocean.
"I thought I told you to go to the infirmary. Your fever hasn't died down at all." He said with a slight frown his thin lips pressed into a line. My lips parted slightly.
He…He looked so hot.
"I-I-I already did…" I held my breath afraid to ruin the moment. I wanted to remain like this forever.
"You did not. I asked the nurse, she said you didn't come around." He gave me a stare.
I froze. He asked the nurse?!!
Why… why was he suddenly paying me this much attention? Because I was his student?
His eyes remained fixated on me waiting for my reply. What was I supposed to say? I had no fever!
"Well—" my belly let out a rumble breaking the magic in the air. He looked down at my belly, his expression shifting from annoyed to concern. He sighed and stood properly.
"You— follow me."
Eh?
I looked up at him surprised.
Follow you??!
He didn't spare me room to ask where as he'd turned and began walking. I followed after him immediately biting my lower lips.
You just had to growl… I stared down at my belly then gazed back at his broad shoulder.
It would be perfect to hug him from behind….
I shook my head dispelling the perverse thoughts.
He had taken off his coat. The white shirt he had on hugged his slender frame perfectly. His hair had been packed in a ponytail. Was he planning on growing his hair? I couldn't help but wonder.
It wasn't until he stopped walking, I realized we were at the rooftop.
"Why are we here?" I asked in a small voice. I resisted the urge to slap myself. What was I thinking? We were at the rooftop, what could possibly happen?
As if justifying my words, he looked at me and pointed to a wooden bench saying just two words. "For you."
I gazed towards the direction he pointed at and saw a lunchbox. My eyes widened I pointed at myself. "For me?" I asked incredulous.
He nodded as if it was normal. "I made alot and it's not proper to throw away food so, for you."
I stared at him stunned. Was he making me an exception in his already perfect world?
"You don't want it?" He asked seeing my hesitation.
"I—" the words were stucked in my throat. I shook my head and walked over to the bench. I crouched down looking at the beautifully made dishes. "Teacher made this?" I asked.
He gave long hum in reply.
My hands reached hesitantly for the chopsticks. Just when I made my mind to finally pick it up, I heard his voice again.
"Also, Sehyun, from now on, I'll pack you lunch."