***
Darkness. Pitch black. And no feeling… again.
Nothing here works. Only the boy and his thoughts.
1 min. 5 mins. 60 mins. 4 hours.
"Fuck Fuck Fuck why is this happening to me. Why do I keep dying? Why me? Why me?"
The boy cried out in the darkness but like always… as if to crush all hope.
There was no sound, the boy did not even hear his own cries in that place. The only reason he knew what happened was because he himself uttered those words. Without that it would be meaningless… no one to hear his pleas, no one to record his suffering, no one to witness.
Like he never existed… After all if there was no record of it, no evidence then did it truly happen?
But the boy kept his eyes open.
He would survive this, no matter how much they try to break him down. No matter what happens he will live and see it through.
…..
…..
How long has it been? Days? Or weeks? The boy simply kept his eyes open waiting for anything to happen. Anything. He hoped. But that's not all he did, he also experimented in every way possible.
How much control did he have, what can he do? After all he wasn't to just rely and hope on others… he tried to hurt himself to feel pain. Nothing. Close one eye. Nothing. Try to stop breathing even. Nothing. As if even breathing did not matter here.
So the boy sat in the darkness waiting… he did not know what to do anymore.
No he knew what had to be done.
But he did not want to bring himself to do it, he couldn't after all this. He had accepted his death, his transmigration and his new body. He did not want to remember the past.
So the boy sat in his countless thoughts and questions. He took the time to gather himself, but this space was weird… really weird. Did time even pass? The boys perception of time was messed up.
The boy decided that any question about time was wayyyy out of his league so he put the thought in the back of his mind.
He focused on more important stuff and gathered his thoughts….
'So I am in a fantasy world with magic but also modern looking stuff? Do they have phones? Please have phones… anyways I'm trapped in death loops… by design or accident? Can I escape? It seems like no matter what I do I end up dying. Fuck this is so unfair!'
'Also why couldn't I hear my name from that woman? I only heard it the last time… Lucien."
Then he remembered his last death and he remembered one particular thing… the woman who said she was his mother had deep ocean blue eyes.
The boy he remembered in his second death had amethyst eyes, which is honestly a crazy color! He has never seen anything like that which is why he was captivated by them in his second death.
'Wait so am I in the same body every time or different ones? The ages felt off too, the first one I was a young boy under 7 or 8 years but in both my second and third death I was a boy around 10 years old…. Well it must be different bodies! After all how would he go back into a body that died!'
As if to answer that question or maybe because the owner of the voice had waited long enough.
[It is the same body]
Huh that voice? The young boys voice… the one that told him to open his eyes and to keep living!
'Wait who? How can he hear me? How can I hear him? Same body… how?'
[I can talk through your mind]
'Through my mind? Wait so you know everything I think? Who are you!'
[Um… I- I'm… I'm… Yes that's right I'm your system!]
My system? This bastard sounds so unsure of himself! Is he conning me?
'If your my system where's my golden spoon? And can you tell me where we are? Or why I keep dying?'
[Umm… I can't for now. ]
'What the hell! This bastard what do you mean you can't?'
[I can't tell you anything for now but you must….]
[Remember]
'Hey what do you mean remember… wait tell me more.'
There was no response… like the voice had fallen asleep again.
Time passed again.
'Tch. Fine. Fine I guess that's the only way isn't it. Can't be trapped here for eternity.'
The boy always knew what he had to do, he wasn't stupid… in fact he was very intelligent and he knew what action he performed to move on to the next death the last two times.
He simply had to remember something this body did not know about and experience more of his past life.
He had gotten the basics of his past life but it was all fractured like he did not know everything about himself… in fact he didn't remember his name from his past life either.
The only name the boy knew was the one his mother spoke as she lost her son.
The boy did not want to live in the past, he wanted to forget it all not wanting to go back so he tried… tried to find any other way to espace this darkness but there was nothing.
So the decided to remember who he was.
'Hmm let me think… does this body know about… hehe… porn?'
….Nothing.
Facepalm. 'Deadass?'
'There's porn in this world… of course there is! Fine. Uhh how about stocks?'
….Nothing.
'So this body knows about porn and stocks? What kind of fantasy world am I in?
Fine. How about the 1-parameter margules equation that models Gibbs free energy to mole fractions… Haha there's no way this body knows about chemical enginee- Fuck, that stings!'
As soon as he though about some complicated bullshit this body would not know about, his head started splitting open from the inside. Like countless burning needles were stabbing every part of his head.
But he did not feel the pain in this space… he felt a sting in his brain like something was pinching it and he knew the sensation he experienced but his pain meter had gotten dulled down to under 1%.
[Host you must remember]
As he heard that voice, his mind started getting bombarded memories… memories of his past life.
He saw parts of his life, the happy parts! The parts where he felt like he was on top of the world!
And the memory of first meeting his adoptive parents.
…
In a hospital room, beeping noise from the countless machines in the room. Sharp antiseptic smell throughout the air with the hint of something metallic. Countless noises coming from the outside while in the room is absolute calm except the beeping noises of machines.
The boy woke up thinking… a private room in the hospital? Isn't that expensive…
The next moments were a flash… a nurse saw him wake up then he was bombarded with doctors and nurses doing various test and administrating medicine. It was evening now with the sun going down, the room calm again.
Then the door opened and came in two adults, a man and a woman… both attractive looking and they looked like they were in their early 30s, maybe it was also the mature way they carried themselves.
The man had blonde hair and green eyes, clearly a foreigner for where he was… the only reason the boy knew was because he did not look like any of the staff at the hospital. He was tall and built wearing a black suit with his hair combed back neatly, his sharp facial features enhancing his already handsome appearance.
The woman next to him was even more beautiful, she was a native of the country but the way she carried herself was not anything of this world. She had long black hair and sky blue eyes, tall but still slim and fit. Her facial features were celestial making her look like a celebrity, she was wearing beige loose jeans with a tight top that hug her figure. Her hand were in the pockets of the jacket she had over her top showing her casual demeanor.
The boy looked at them with a straight face… an indifferent face. Where people might have been shocked or stared at the appearance of such a couple the boy simply looked at them like he expected them to show up.
The woman grinned and even the man's lips curved up slightly. Then the man asked…
"Boy, what's your name?"
"Lucien." The boy replied, his voice sweet but monotone.
"Last name?" The man inquired.
"I don't have one." The boy simply replied.
The man and the woman looked at each other, no emotion on their face. Then the woman simply nodded with the same carefree expression and slight grin as when she walked in, her hands never leaving her pocket.
Then the man asked with a serious expression, almost in cold calculated way…
"Do you want your last name to be Noir?"
The boy looked shocked for once… he almost couldn't answer his mouth looking for the words.
Then he simply said in a low whisper… "Yes…"
And so the boy was name Lucien Noir.