(Lucifer POV)
I used my magic to pick up the sleeping knight, and snapping my fingers, I sent him away to Charlie's room.
Once I had done that, I turned my attention to Satan. His eye was bleeding from the attack he had just received from the knight.
"Man, Satan! You really let yourself go, man! I mean, you just got stabbed by a child so much smaller than you!" I said, releasing his fist.
Satan growled in annoyance at me. Good, it's always so funny watching him get mad over the smallest things… literally.
"You try fighting something tiny and see how easy it is," he replied, his eye looking down on me.
"I mean, I could, but that wouldn't be fair for the kids now. But we all know if I did... I wouldn't lose, unlike you."
Satan's teeth began to grind as his anger began to swell up.
"Are you challenging me!? 'Cause if you are, I'm more than happy to throw down, Lucifer!"
"Oh please, you know I don't fight someone for silly things like that—but if you insist."
I transformed into a rubber duck and landed on his nose.
"Bring it, bitch."
Satan wasn't all too pleased with me. He tried to grab me off his nose, but I quickly turned into a snake and dodged his hand.
Moving quickly, I slid up his head and landed on top of him. I transformed back into my regular form to gloat some more.
"Hey Satan, you've really gotten slow. Maybe you need to take a nap, grandpa."
He roared in rage and jumped into the air, aiming for the ceiling. He planned to crush me with his head, but I teleported off him, and before he could react, I turned the ceiling into hard steel.
Once Satan's head connected with the ceiling, he screamed in agony and held on to his head, clutching it in pain.
"Ohh, does the big baby have a booboo? Don't worry, I'll fix that." Snapping my fingers, I teleported me and Satan to the ground.
Once there, I summoned a giant bathtub and teleported Satan into it. He felt the warm water hit him, and he opened his eyes to see that he was now inside a giant bathtub.
"Don't worry, wittle baby, I'll make the pain go away." I snapped my fingers, and Satan was now wearing a bib, and my rubber ducks were now floating around him.
Satan tried to escape, but the moment he tried to get up, the bib around his head would tighten, making his headache worse. He tried to push through, but something was holding him in place.
He looked around and saw the rubber duckies' eyes glowing red. He saw each one had my sigil, and below he could feel tentacles holding him in place.
I summoned a scrub and slowly approached him. His eyes locked onto the brush, and frantically he tried to escape, but each attempt failed.
Arriving near his head, I began scrubbing his head, much to his displeasure.
"Release me! I will not be humiliated like thi—" Before he could finish his sentence, a pacifier appeared in his mouth, stopping him from speaking.
"Now, now, we don't want soap getting in your mouth now," I said, making him even more furious.
Satan couldn't contain it anymore. His rage had reached a tipping point, and once it was reached, he exploded.
I teleported away and teleported the Goetic demons back to their homes. The other Sins though—well, they were enjoying the show.
Mammon, that asshole, was munching on five buckets of popcorn, laughing his ass off. Bee and Azzy seemed to be holding in laughs, trying to act composed, and finally, Levy and Bell—well, they couldn't care less.
"LUCIFER!" Satan yelled at me.
Turning my attention to Satan, his body was engulfed in flames. His eyes burned with a fire hotter than the sun.
"I will make you pay for this humiliation!" he screamed at me.
Satan charged at me with unbridled fury, and he threw a right hook directly at me.
And as the fist drew closer and closer, I had only one thought in my head... what should I get for lunch today?
Snapping my fingers, I used magic to lock Satan in time to stop his fist from reaching me.
Once I had done that, I flew over to Levy and asked her something.
"Hey Levy, could I get a small favor?" I said with my cheery smile.
She looked at me, annoyed that she had to talk to me.
"What is it, Lucy?" she replied.
"Well, I was wondering if I could... dump him in your realm to cool off?" I said to her while making puppy-dog eyes.
She looked at me with disgust before waving me off.
"Fine, just don't dump him anywhere near my castle. I don't want to deal with his tantrum."
"Thanks, Levy!" I said, teleporting back to Satan.
Using my power, I teleported me and him into the Ring of Envy. Once we were there, an endless vast ocean surrounded us, and I looked for the perfect spot to drop him.
Once I found it, I snapped my fingers, and Satan could finally move again.
He looked around, confused, before I pointed to the ground. He looked down, and he immediately started falling into the water.
He used his wings to stop the fall, but as soon as he looked up at me, a large anvil landed on his head, dazing the giant baby.
"LUCIFERRR!" he screamed as he fell into the waters of Envy.
"Man, that was fun... now what do I get for lunch? Oh, apple pie! Haven't had those in a while!"
Snapping my fingers, I teleported back to the room Charlie and the knight were staying in. Looking around, I found Charlie crying at the knight.
Moving quickly, I got closer to comfort my sweet princess.
"Oh, baby, what's wrong?" I asked my baby girl.
She sniffed and wiped some tears from her eyes before looking at me and speaking.
"Mr... knight... he's... gone... again," Charlie said, her eyes watering with each word she spoke.
"Oh, Charlie... you don't have to worry. Here, look—Daddy's gonna fix him right up, look." I tried to grab the knight into my arms and heal him, but the moment I did, his mask began to crack, and with a loud snap, it broke in half.
His body began to melt, and with his skull, it began to sink into the ground with black goop surrounding it.
"Oh... oh no." I looked at Charlie to see if she was alright.
She looked fine, then suddenly the waterworks started.
"Wahhh... Daddy killed Mr. Knight!" she cried, running out of the room.
"Shitttttt," I said, looking at the goop.