"Well, that was a nice little detour, huh?" Joy hummed, walking casually to my right as we approached Cerulean City, "You got some battle experience in, and even found those two fossils!"
"If those were the only things I got, then it would've been worth it," I replied dryly, doing my best not to look to my right as another woman was more stiffly walking beside me. I leaned towards Joy, keeping my voice down, "So, how are we going to ditch her?"
"You're not ditching me at all!" Jessie huffed, puffing out her cheeks cutely as I sighed and glanced back at her.
"Look, having one stalker is already hard enough, y'know? If it's about the money, then I'll give it back!" I tried, reaching into my pocket and pulling out a wad of cash, "I'll even toss in some extra on top if you want!"
I had the funds to do so now, as after farming more Team Rocket grunts in Mt. Moon, I was pretty stacked. After defeating Jessie's 'partner,' who was more like her boss, the rest of the path had gone pretty well. I defeated a handful more of the grunts, ignored Jessie as she repeatedly demanded to take her with us, and then even found the fossils!
There was no 'Super Nerd' there to fight me for them, and in fact, no one at all to. In a situation I didn't understand, and which made me assume Team Rocket was even dumber than I already thought, the grunts had dug up the two fossils, but… didn't know what a fossil looked like.
Yup, the group that was blocking off the entirety of Mt. Moon to search for fossils had no idea what fossils looked like. It was extra incompetent because they were pretty damn obvious, as the fossils just looked like a bunch of bones and shells shoved into the middle of a thick slab of rock.
"I-I'm not a stalker! I just… don't have anywhere to go, a-and I need to follow you until I can get revenge!" Jessie huffed, glancing away with slightly red cheeks.
"Revenge?" I asked her dryly.
"R-Revenge with my pokemon! We need to get back at you for beating us, and for making me lose my job!" She said loudly, looking back at me as she tried her best to glare at me, "Until I'm strong enough to beat you, you're not leaving my sight!"
"See? I told you that you were handsome, Red," Joy sighed to my side, looking over at Jessie with a side-eye, "I should've scared her off when I had the chance…"
I ignored her words, just sighing as I accepted my fate, and glanced forward at the city looming over us. After a bit of trudging through Route 4 and a couple of fainted Spearow in our wake, we had arrived at Cerulean City.
Which, to my surprise, actually looked a lot bigger than I expected. Towering buildings loomed overhead, and there were numerous roads in front of us as we climbed up a set of stairs. Cars drove on the roads, and the streets were pretty crowded as I could see hundreds of people going about their day.
Overall, compared to Pewter City and Viridian City, which were both cities on the smaller side, Cerulean looked like a genuine big city. Not that it was New York or Tokyo, but considering Kanto was the least populated region, a town this size was pretty damn impressive.
"There are a lot of people here," I hummed, glancing around at the various people curiously.
"Cerulean is a pretty touristy city," Joy supplied helpfully as she stepped up next to me, "Most cities are mostly made up of people living there, and then the constant coming and going of trainers, but Cerulean's different. A lot of people live here, and even more non-trainers come here to see the shows!"
"The shows?" I blinked, raising an eyebrow at her.
"The whole city is themed around water, not just their gym," She nodded at me, "There's a lot of water-pokemon-themed shows held around the city, and the Cerulean City stadium even has the Sensational Sisters!"
I blinked again, my brain whirling a bit as I recognized that name as the group of Misty's sisters, who had given up on being gym leaders to instead perform water ballet. But they definitely didn't exist in the games. That, along with Jessie being here, meant that this world was a bit more complicated than I originally thought.
But I just shrugged and pushed those thoughts away. Maybe I could've been stressing about how to deal with all the varying aspects of this world, but things had been going well so far, so why would I worry about it? With how NPC-esque most of the trainers were, I didn't think I'd have much trouble with… pretty much anything, really.
"Cool," I just responded simply, glancing around the streets, "So, where's the gym at? If we finish here quickly, we might be able to head to Vermilion today."
The sun was still barely overhead, as we'd left for Mt. Moon so early that it was still dark outside, and the only trainers out that early had been the Lass's. Even after spending a couple of hours in Mt. Moon, if I handled Misty quickly enough, then we could head to Vermilion right away.
"You still have to sign up for the fight, remember?" Joy told me a bit blandly, shaking her head lightly, "Despite this being considered a more difficult gym than the Pewter City one, that doesn't mean there won't be a waiting list. Actually, because of tourists trying to take a shot at it while they're here, it'll probably be a longer wait if anything."
"Ooh! It'll also take even longer than that, because the gym leader is taking a break right now! She put off all the challenges to fish!" Jessie butted in, looking a bit proud as she was able to help. But, as I looked over at her with a raised eyebrow, she became a bit more doubtful, "W-What? I was staying here before someone got me fired, so I heard about it! It's a big deal!"
"Well, I'm glad you did. Good to know," I muttered, causing Jessie to blush lightly, though I didn't know why, as being glad she happened to stay in this city was barely a compliment.
But, seriously, what was up with gym leaders and not being available at their gym? In the game, things like this happened to prevent the player from progressing before doing a mission within the city, but there was no quest here! The gym leaders could just call off work to go fishing whenever they wanted?!
"But, this could work out better for us," I grinned lightly, glancing over at Jessie, "Do you know where she fishes at?"
"Huh? I was just staying here, how would I know that?" Jessie huffed, but then paused as she thought about it, "Actually… there's a river that runs past the north side of the city, and I think I saw a few fishermen there. She's probably there too!"
I looked at Jessie blandly, but didn't say anything as, despite huffing about how she wouldn't know where Misty was, she knew exactly where Misty was.
"Then, let's head there now," I decided, striding into Cerulean City as I started to head north, "Because I'm definitely not waiting!"
This could end up working out for us, as instead of having to pull some 'I'm actually Timmy' bullshit to skip the line, I could just talk to Misty personally and convince her to let me challenge her.
"How are you even going to convince her to battle you?" Joy asked curiously as she walked beside me, but then her eyes went wide as an idea came to her, "Y-You're not going to seduce her, are you?! Stop seducing all these women, when you should only be seducing me!"
"I'm not seducing anyone," I just sighed, and we spent roughly the next half-hour walking through the city.
Luckily, the entrance we came in through was on the west side, not the south side, so we didn't have to walk through the entire city. It still took a bit of time anyway, as the streets were pretty crowded, and as opposed to Viridian and Pewter City, there were a lot of stop lights and crosswalks to get through.
After trudging through the routes for the past couple of days, my legs and body had toughed up a bit, so it wasn't all that difficult, and we finally reached the river Jessie had mentioned. It was a long strip of water right on the side of a road, looking to be around a hundred feet wide before it ran into a steep hill on the other side, which had a small cave opening far to the west. Beyond that, it flowed down past the entire city and kept going for as far as my eyes could see.
I also quickly realized that Jessie was underselling the sheer number of fishermen that she had seen, as there were dozens, if not hundreds, of men wearing floppy hats standing on the riverbank with fishing rods. I had hoped that finding Misty would be quick and easy, but with this many people, I'd have to look through the entire riverbank. This portion of the road probably led to Nugget Bridge, which was essentially a trainer rush and money farm.
"I told you, this is my spot! Stop butting in! Don't you know who I am?!" My thoughts were cut cold instantly as I heard a faint female voice shout, and glanced down the stretch of river ahead of me, "You have the whole river to fish in! Go choose somewhere else!"
I stared a bit dryly as I quickly spotted the source. Well, I could search across the whole river, or she could just shout loud-as-hell so I could find her easily. That works too.
The woman looked about how I remembered her, though a bit older, as she looked to be around 20. She had short orange hair, which was tied into a pony-tail-esque strand on the side, and had a beautiful face that was currently set in an annoyed scowl. She was wearing a short yellow shirt, which looked like it was a couple of sizes too small for her, as it clung tightly to her torso - showcasing her stomach as it rid up high, and hugging her decently sized breasts tightly.
Her shorts weren't much better, as they were tight jean-shorts that did nothing to cover her thick thighs, and looked like it was squeezing her hips as her large rear shoved against the back, which looked to be even bigger than Joy's. They were definitely a few sizes too small, as while she was bent over and angrily shoving her finger in a man's face, I could see the bottom of her cheeks hanging out, while simultaneously seeing her asscrack peeking out of the top.
"This here is the best spot for catchin' Gyarados! You gotta' share!" The person she was screaming at looked to be a pretty typical-looking fisherman, as he was wearing a large bucket hat, a vest with a bunch of pockets, and long cargo pants. He also looked to be on the older side, as he had a gray beard.
The contrast between their outfits was pretty extreme, as the fisherman looked like a veteran pro who was ready to be out here all day, while Misty's outfit was so revealing and tight that it wouldn't have been out of place in a strip club.
"No way! I've been sharing all week, and you guys keep taking them all because you have more expensive rods!" Misty shot back, not backing down as I approached the duo, "This is my spot!"
"Then, ya should get a betta' rod! Aren't you a gym leader?!"
"F-Funds have been tight lately, okay?! That's why I need to get the Gyarados!" Misty huffed, blushing lightly as she was called out.
"Then, we can just have a battle to see who gets the spot!" The fisherman smirked, clearly enjoying the way Misty's face fell at his proposition, "Come on! That's how we always settle things 'round here, and you're a gym leader! It's right up ya alley!"
"Y-You know I can't do that! Gah, you're all so annoying!" Misty groaned, rubbing a hand over her face.
"Why can't you?" I asked blandly as I strode up to the pair, finally interjecting, "You are Misty, right? The gym leader here?"
She was the gym leader in Cerulean City, so why wouldn't she be able to beat some random fisherman? If anything, this should be a perfect opportunity for her! Just beat this random fisherman, who's probably never even been in a real pokemon battle before, and take the spot for herself.
"Who are you?! Stay out of this!" Misty barked at me, but blushed deeper at my question, "I-It's because all you damn fishermen have a bunch of Gyarados! All I have is my Staryu and Starmie!"
"Well, that ain't my problem, is it? If ya won't battle me, then don't complain that I'm here!" The fisherman smirked, feeling victorious as he turned back to the river, and Misty's face fell as she stared at her feet.
I couldn't help but nod a bit approvingly at the older man. This was some me-level bullshitting he was pulling - having a party of six OP-ass pokemon, and refusing to have basic decency unless someone could beat you in a battle? I had to respect the hustle.
But, unfortunately for him, he was still a trainer in this world - even if that trainer class was fishermen - so I could safely assume he wasn't the brightest. He'd opened up the perfect opportunity for me.
"I'll battle him for you," I said bluntly, causing Misty to glance up at me, blinking in surprise, "You are really the gym leader here, right? I'll beat him for you, and in return, you have to let me challenge you right away and skip the waiting list. Deal?"
"W-Wait, ya can't just butt in here, kid!" The older fisherman interjected before Misty could answer, overhearing my proposition, "This is between me and her!"
"Then, I'll make it between us," I countered, raising my finger to point at the river, "I've decided that I want to fish here. So, battle me, and if I win, I get the spot. That's what you offered her, so you'll accept the same from me, right?"
"Um, Red, you need a fishing rod to fish…" Jessie muttered 'helpfully' behind me, and I glanced over my shoulder at her dryly as she lived up to the 'stupid trainer' trend that was going on in this world.
"We're not actually fishing! I'm just gonna take the spot and give it to her!"
"O-Oh! Good plan!"
"Bah, fine," The fisherman grunted, caught in a trap of his own making as he just nodded, then smirked lightly, "Don't think you can beat me easily! Try taking down this - go Gyarados!"
The man chucked his poke ball into the river, causing it to pop open as a massive, blue, serpent-like creature popped out. I watched for a moment as the poke ball seemingly bounced off the water and then landed back on the riverbank. How the hell did he do that?! That ball should've been halfway to Mt. Moon already!
"GYARA!" The Gyarados roared, causing many nearby fishermen to flinch at the loud noise.
"Gyarados is a really powerful pokemon, Red," Joy muttered behind me, looking at me a bit doubtfully, "Are you sure you can handle this?"
"It's water," I deadpanned at Joy, "It's water, and I have a Pikachu and a Bulbasaur."
And, most importantly, the damn idiot threw his Gyarados into the river! For a fisherman, you would think he would know about how a certain liquid conducts lightning very well. If my Pikachu somehow missed, then this was becoming a Nuzlocke, and he was going to join the Weedle HM slave I had chucked away.
"But, your Bulbasaur is also water?" Jessie piped in, and I resisted groaning as I was starting to regret naming my Squirtle Bulbasaur. I ignored her as I pulled out Pikachu's poke ball and tossed it forward.
"Pikachu!" The mouse cheered as it appeared, and I quickly pointed at the water the Gyarados was in.
"Just shock the whole fuckin' river, Pikachu!"
"W-What?! The whole river?!" The fisherman shouted, his eyes going wide with shock, and I just stared at him blankly. The hell did he think was going to happen here?
"Pikachu!" Pikachu sparked with lightning, and then a massive bolt of lightning shot forward at the Gyarados, not even needing to hit him as it made contact with the large river.
"W-Wait, won't that…" I heard Joy murmur beside me, and I quickly found the cause for concern.
Pikachu's Thunder Shock did indeed light up the river and consume Gyarados in a yellow aura as it was shocked into fainting, but it did more than that. The electricity continued to flow, coursing down the river as the surface was struck with a bright light, and then it died out.
"Gyarados!" The fisherman shouted, raising his poke ball to recall Gyarados, and then reached down to pull out his next pokemon, before he paused, staring at the river blankly, "A-Another Gyarados? W-Wait, two Gyarados?!"
All along the river, in something I definitely didn't have planned when I told Pikachu to use Thunder Shock, countless Magikarp with X'ed out eyes floated to the surface. Beyond that, there were also various Staryu, a couple of Goldeens, Poliwags, and even a couple of full-on Gyarados.
Damn, maybe my Pikachu isn't the dumbest Pikachu to ever Pikachu? Well, he still might be the dumbest, but at least he's fuckin' good at using Thunder Shock!
"Pikachu!" Pikachu cheered happily, looking proud of the fainting-genocide it had just committed on all the water-types in the river.
"What the heck?! Where did all these pokemon come from?!" A voice called out, belonging to a fisherman a bit further down the riverbank.
"I don't know, but start catching them, idiot!" A female voice hissed, and as if her words had simultaneously awakened the brain of every fisherman on the bank, all hell broke loose.
"D-Don't catch that Magikarp! It's mine!"
"Move! I want that Goldeen!"
The fishermen rushed to the bank, and poke balls started to fly as the one I was battling also reached down, his eyes wide as he fished in his vest for an empty poke ball, "I wouldn't mind another Gyarado-"
"Too late," Luckily, I was faster, and my backpack was much easier to navigate and find the poke balls compared to his vest - mainly, because it wasn't organized at all, and all the poke balls were just lying in a pile at the bottom of it.
I chucked one forward, and it bounced off the Gyarados before sucking it into the ball with a flash of light.
"Start thinking of names, Jessie," I hummed, heading to pick up the poke ball.
"W-What? Why me?"
"Well, if you're going to be a part of the group, then you need to contribute," I said bluntly, "I'm the master trainer, Joy's the hot nurse, and you're the naming girl."
"Seriously?" Jessie stared at me flatly, to which, as per usual, I shrugged.
"Joy earns her keep by constantly trying to seduce me, and by scaring the Poke Mart employees into giving me a discount," I laid out the terms for Jessie, "Either start mooning me everywhere we go, or get to naming."
And by 'everywhere' - I meant everywhere. Do you know how distracting it is to be mid-battle and look over to see Joy puffing her tits out at me? Very! Not to mention how she overly-swayed her hips, and always walked right in front of me! I was on this whole 'speedrun the gym badges' quest right now, but if she kept this up, we might need to have a sleepless night at a hotel. If Brock was any indication, the gyms were pretty easy anyway, so that would be fine, right?
Luckily, while Joy was a bit crazy in the head, Jessie seemed more normal, so I was sure she'd be a great help in coming up with a name for my new-
"I suck at naming pokemon, so…" I watched dryly as Jessie turned around, grabbing the back of her pitch-black Team Rocket pants, which she was still wearing, as they were pulling tightly against her plump rear, "I-Is it like this?"
"Stop, stop! Fine, I'll name him," I groaned as Jessie started to pull down her pants and give me a view of her round cheeks, which I usually wouldn't complain about, but there was a time and place - and outside, by a river, in a crowded city was not the time or place! This is how you get arrested!
"Hah, got it!" Meanwhile, the fisherman had finally found an empty poke ball and was turning to the other Gyarados floating at the surface of the river.
"W-Wait! I'm getting one too!" Misty quickly pulled out her own poke ball, chucking it forward at the second fainted Gyarados as the fisherman looked around panickedly.
"D-Damn it! I can't miss out on this!" He promptly turned around, starting to run down the river bank with an empty poke ball in his hand to not miss out on the free buffet of water pokemon, and to look for another Gyarados.
"I'm pretty good at fishing, huh?" I hummed, staring at the chaos ensuing as onlookers walking by on the sidewalk near the river started to come over to see what was going on, "Why doesn't everyone just do that?"
Seriously, what was the point of fishing all day when you could just tell your electric-type pokemon to shock the water? This seemed like a much faster method for catching water-types to me.
"Well, I don't have an electric-type, but… I guess I never thought about it," Jessie muttered, staring at the river, "So, maybe no one's ever thought about it?"
Oh, right - trainers here are all idiots who can't even read, much less use critical thinking. They probably wouldn't even know that water conducts electricity. Though Jessie said she went to school to become a Nurse, so she should've thought of it - maybe she wasn't 'trainer-stupid' but just 'stupid-stupid?'
"Joy, is selling pokemon legal?" I asked, an idea forming in my head as I remembered a certain old man in a Pokemon Center selling a Magikarp.
"Not stolen ones like they do," Joy said, gesturing to Jessie, who looked only slightly offended, "But if you catch it, then yes."
As I stared at all the fish-pokemon floating on the surface of the river, a slow, greedy grin formed on my face.
"...Why are you looking like that?" Joy asked dryly, already not liking whatever idea had come into my head.
"Nothing, nothing," I waved her off, but my grin didn't drop, "I just found the infinite money glitch. That's all."
If there were this many pokemon in one river, then how many would there be in the ocean? I didn't know, but after I became Champion, I was going to find out, and then buy the whole damn ocean with the profits!
"I actually got one!" Misty cheered, drawing my attention back to her as she stared at her new poke ball with excited eyes, "A Gyarados!"
"Yup, and I got you the spot," I made sure to remind her, gesturing at the empty part of the river, as the fisherman had run off in a panic, "He left, so that counts as a forfeit, right? W-Wait, my money! He didn't pay for losing!"
I hissed in annoyance, glancing down the riverbank to see if I could catch him, but with the massive crowd of similar-looking fishermen, I couldn't even tell him apart from the rest.
"Whatever," I just sighed, turning back to Misty, "So, I won you the spot. Now, you have to keep your side of the deal, and let me challenge the gym!"
"Ah… I don't really need the spot anymore," Misty muttered, as she didn't need to fish since she had a Gyarados now, but I wasn't going to let her weasel her way out of this.
"Too bad. The deal was that I get you the spot, and you let me challenge the gym," I crossed my arms, not budging, "Tell her, Joy."
"Huh? What do you want me to do?"
"You're my backup! You were great at scaring all those female trainers!"
"That was different! They were trying to seduce you! She's trying to do the opposite and rip you off!"
"I-It's fine, you can challenge the gym now," Misty intervened as Joy started to argue back, holding up her hands placatingly, "A deals a deal, and you did help me get this Gyarados, so I owe you one!"
Well, at least someone has a sense of honor around here! I think, after robbing Jessie while she was on her knees, crying earlier that day.
"Thanks," I grinned at Misty, unintentionally causing her to blush lightly, as apparently I was pretty handsome, before I asked her a question, "But, why'd you even need one anyway?"
Misty was a gym leader, so I figured she'd have a ton of water-type pokemon to choose from. How did she not have a Gyarados yet?
"Ah… because I've been losing," Misty sighed, her shoulder slumping as a depressed aura came over her, "All I have is a Staryu and a Starmie, so I haven't won a gym battle in weeks, and we're running out of funds because of it…"
Well, that was certainly a reason to want a Gyarados. I hadn't thought about it, but I guess gyms do make their money off of taking Pokedollars from defeated trainers, and in the same vein, if they lost more than they won, then they wouldn't be making any profit, and would actually be losing money.
"But," I blinked, a thought coming into my head, "You only have a Staryu and Starmie? You don't have multiple teams?"
Gym leaders usually had multiple teams they could use, and would swap them out depending on the trainer that battled them. It was a method to keep the gym battles as a test of skill, and not just of pokemon. If Brock always only used a low-level Geodude and Onix, then any youngster could show up with their dad's high-level Beedrill and complete the gym by spamming one attacking move. In the same vein, it wouldn't make sense for someone with 7 gym badges to challenge Pewter City last and go up against the two rock-ground pokemon with a full team of six.
At least, that's how it was in the games, as there were even some where you could go back and rechallenge gyms to fight the leaders' stronger teams. Considering it made even more sense in this real-life world, I assumed the same would be true.
"Ah… most gym leaders do, but I don't," Misty blushed, rubbing the back of her head a bit sheepishly, "My sisters were the gym leaders until a couple of months ago, but they quit to start a water ballet group, so I had to take over. They took their pokemon with them, so…"
"You only actually have a Staryu and Starmie," I said a bit dryly, as I could quickly see the problem. If she didn't have a team for anything beyond trainers with just a few low-level pokemon, then she was just a money and badge farm for anyone who took the non-typical route and visited other gyms prior to Cerulean City.
"Yeah…" Misty sighed, but then brightened up, "Well, I did, but now I have a Gyarados! I'll be able to win a ton of battles now!"
I looked at her blandly, not sure if I had the heart to tell her that just one low-level Gyarados wasn't enough to defend the gym from trainers who had multiple gym badges already. But, as I shrugged, I didn't tell her - because it was none of my business! I was just here for a badge, and nothing more!
"Then, lead the way," I gestured at her, smirking lightly as I recalled my Pikachu, "Let's go have the gym battle."
"Right! I'll need to go to the Pokemon Center first for him," Misty held up her Gyarados' poke ball, "But then we can start right away!"
And so, we started heading to the Cerulean City gym so I could acquire my second gym badge. I had both Pikachu and actual-Bulbasaur to counter her water-types, but luckily, Misty seemed like a pretty competent trainer, so I was sure the gym battle would be action-packed, and that I would finally get a good battle! There was no way the first two gym battles would both be trivially easy, right?
…
…
…
As per usual, I would soon find out that I was never right. In fact, I couldn't have been more wrong if I had tried.
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AN: Thank you for reading! The next chapter will be posted in a few days!
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