"You don't understand what's inside this cave, kid. You're not getting through," The guard said bluntly, his shoulders stiffening as I stood in front of him, "You'll be able to enter after the Champion, Lance, returns to catch it."
The man looked to be in his mid-30s, with a stubbly beard as his eyes stared me down seriously, but I made a point of not meeting them.
"Yeah, yeah, there's a dangerous pokemon and stuff," I nodded, striding forward as I started to walk around him, "But, we're just going to look for rocks and some of the non-dangerous pokemon, so I'll just get past ya here…"
"Not happening," The guard said again as I started to just walk around him, and as he turned to me, I thought I was about to be in an actual physical confrontation. However, instead, he just grabbed a poke ball off his belt and then chucked it in front of me.
"Make sure he doesn't go in, Nidoking!" He shouted as he did, and a second later, a large, purple dinosaur-esque monster appeared in front of me.
"Nido!"
Honestly, he was a bit less intimidating than I thought, because Nidoking was kind of… short. Don't get me wrong, he was still a big-ass tank of a muscular monster, and his claws looked like they could tear through me in one go, but it was hard to feel intimidated when he was a good two feet shorter than me.
But, even as the Nidoking stood between me and the cave entrance, I decided to give this strategy one last try. It wasn't like the pokemon would just kill me on the spot, right? Joy had told me that attacking regular people with pokemon was illegal, so it would probably be fine.
So, I simply sprinted forward - throwing caution into the wind as I rushed past Nidoking, and… was promptly grabbed. Literally - the brick wall of a purple pokemon just casually reached over, grabbed my arm as I was rushing past, and lifted me. And by lifted me, that was all of me. As if I were just a child, Nidoking lifted me over his head by my arm and placed me back in front of him.
I was reminded just how terrifying pokemon could be, and that made me reconsider trying to catch Mewtwo for a moment. It would be a wild pokemon - not a trainer-owned one, which had to hold back in order not to get its trainer in trouble. There was a real chance that I could die to Mewtwo if my plan didn't work, so should I just turn around and give up?
…
I just shrugged. I probably wouldn't die, right?
"Let's have a battle!" I called back bluntly, to which the guard gave me a very eloquent response.
"Huh?"
"You're blocking the cave because the pokemon inside is too dangerous, right?" I asked, glancing back at the guard, who just nodded at my words, "Then, if I beat you in a pokemon battle, that'll prove I'm strong enough to handle it."
"Well… I guess that's true," The guard muttered, thinking about my words for a moment. I was glad that, despite being a guard, he was still a pokemon trainer - and as such, didn't see the very wide and blatant hole in my logic.
Unless this guard was a secret Champion, then me defeating him meant nothing for if I could handle the Mewtwo or not. If Lance couldn't catch him, then why would defeating a random guard make me able to?
"Then, let's battle," I pressed, pushing forward the conversation before he could think too heavily about what I was offering, "If I win, then you can't do anything when I go into the cave. If you win, then I'll leave and give up on entering."
I wouldn't really, because I was damn sure getting the Mewtwo! The fact that it wasn't just an unknown creature hiding in a cave in this world made the situation worse - if Lance knew about Mewtwo, then he'd be back to catch it. I didn't know how long it would be before he came to try again, but before that happened, I damn sure was going to catch him!
"There's no way he'll agree to that," Joy muttered as she walked up beside me, "He was hired to guard the cave, so he'll lose his job if he loses to you. Even if he does, that doesn't mean you're good enough to catch the dangerous pokemon, so he'd have to be an idiot to agree to that-"
"Alright! Let's do it!" Joy's warning words were instantly cut off as the guard spun around, grinning confidently as he looked at his Nidoking,, "I was hired by the Champion himself, so I won't lose to some punk trainer!"
"Alright! You got this, Red!" Jessie tacked on, letting out a cheer as I gave Joy a knowing look.
"Works every time," I hummed, as tricking trainers just seemed to get easier and easier every day. However, before I reached down to grab one of my poke balls and throw out my own pokemon, I turned to Misty.
"Lead with Starmie," I said bluntly, causing Misty to blink and look at me confusedly.
"W-What?"
"Use Starmie first," I reiterated, gesturing at the Nidoking, "He's a ground and poison-type, so water moves will be super effective. You can at least spam water gun, right?"
"W-What are you talking about?! You're the one fighting him!" Misty shot back, gesturing at the Nidoking wearily, "W-Why are you telling me this?"
"I'll be the one fighting him, after you go," I told her bluntly, nodding at her words, "You don't have to win, but just take out that one at least, alright?"
"W-What? Why would I fight him?" Misty huffed, shaking her head lightly, "You're the one who wants to go into the cave!"
"And you're the one following me," I deadpanned, my eyes staring into hers as I was deathly serious, "Either chuck out Starmie, or just leave. If you're gonna stalk me, you at least gotta pull your weight!"
Misty stared back at me for a second, shifting uncertainly until, finally, she blushed and sighed.
"F-Fine, but you better have a good reason for this…" She stepped forward, reaching down to grab a poke ball in her pocket, and then chucked it forward, "Go Starmie!"
"W-Wait, I thought I was fighting you…" The guard muttered, glancing over at me and then to the Starmie confusedly.
"You will, but your eyes met, so you have to fight," I said casually, reaching up and placing my hand on Misty's head, and then gently tilting her face to look directly at the guard, "We can fight after. One more 'punk trainer' should be nothing for a guard hired by the Champion himself, right?"
"W-Well, you're not wrong… when trainers' eyes meet, they must battle!" The guard nodded rapidly in agreement, reiterating the rather stupid rule that trainers in this world lived by, "Fine, I'll defeat you first, girl, and then afterward, I'll show you-"
"Use Confuse Ray," I muttered casually to Misty as he was yelling, doing my best to hide my words from the guard, "I can't battle for you, but just do what I say, and this'll work out."
I did have a plan for taking down this guard, either with Misty's help or without it - but, if all three of these women were going to follow me around, then I would at least take advantage of it! This was just making my job easier!
"Starmie, Confuse Ray!" Misty shouted immediately, and I nodded approvingly.
I couldn't order Misty's Starmie for her, as that would break the rules of single battles, and we weren't up against crooks like Team Rocket. While I could technically cheat, and we could just quadruple team the guard to get past him, I didn't know the consequences that would come from doing so. I knew there were laws about using pokemon to attack humans, but I didn't know if the 'single battle' aspect of battling was a stupid trainer rule, like battling when your eyes met was, or if we would get in genuine law-related trouble for ganging up on the guard.
Either way, I wasn't going to risk ending up with Officer Jenny on my ass, and I didn't need to. After fighting two gyms and having Joy cheering for me in the process, I had quickly realized there was one part of battling you couldn't prevent: Outside help. I wasn't interfering with my own pokemon, but just like how Joy shouted words of encouragement to me mid-battle, I could offer words of 'advice' to Misty as she fought.
As Misty gave her order, the gem in the center of Starmie glowed, and then a beam of light shot forward - slamming into Nidoking, and causing the creature to stumble back awkwardly, looking confused.
"Gah, damn it! I was talking!" The guard shouted, caught off guard as Misty attacked mid-sentence, "Not cool! You have to wait until I'm finished to start the battle!"
"A-Ah, right, sorry. Red, you can't interrupt someone when they're speaking! You have to hear them out before the battle starts-"
"Use Minimize," I interrupted Misty as she started to look concerned about not letting the guard finish his sentence, and as she opened her mouth again to argue back, I stressed the word, "Minimize! Just use it quickly!"
"B-But I just went! He should go now! It's his turn!"
"No the hell he shouldn't! Just using fuckin' Minimize!"
"F-Fine! I didn't even know that was a move…" Misty crumbled under the pressure, finally nodding as she looked back to her Starmie, "Starmie! Use Minimize!"
Starmie obeyed immediately, its body glowing brightly, and then it became slightly smaller - literally. Its body just magically pulled into itself, shrinking down into a 0.9x version of the otherwise rather huge Starmie that had been in its place.
I nodded approvingly again, as I hadn't been sure if her Starmie would even be able to use this or not. Starmie learned the move at a pretty low level, but considering Misty was using Water Gun against me during the gym battle, she had definitely prematurely used a Water Stone on this pokemon. Luckily, she hadn't done it so prematurely that Starmie didn't even know Minimize.
"W-What?! Nidoking, Fury Attack!" The guard actually responded quicker than most, not lamenting on his ranting being taken advantage of, as he instead called out a move to Nidoking.
"NIDO!" Nidoking cried out, charging forward at Starmie with its claws raised, and then… missed by a dozen feet as it slammed into the hill-wall behind it - courtesy of Confused Ray, as Nidoking literally didn't even know which direction it was running in.
"Minimize again," I ordered quickly, but Misty looked at me doubtfully.
"B-But, Starmie just used that! To defeat that Nidoking, we need to attack-"
"This is why you keep losing," I interrupted her dryly, causing her to blush as I hit a nerve, but it was necessary, "Just trust me, alright?"
Misty stared at me for a moment and then begrudgingly nodded, "Fine… Starmie, Minimize!"
Starmie's body glowed again, and then it shrank down a bit more, looking shorter and narrower with each use.
"Nidoking! Use Fury Attack again!" The guard shouted as Nidoking stumbled away from the hill wall, spinning around as it charged forward in the right direction this time.
"After it misses, use another Minimize," I told Misty quickly, though I couldn't be certain that the Nidoking would miss. Fury Attack was a lower-accuracy move, and Starmie had +2 Evasion, so it was pretty much a 50-50 right now.
However, luck seemed to be on our side this time. The Nidoking charged forward, swinging out with his claws wildly, but the smaller Starmie rolled to the side as he missed entirely.
"Starmie, Minimize!" Misty called out immediately, and Starmie shrank again, becoming nearly half the size it had once been.
"Hah! You rookies really don't know how to battle! Aren't you the gym leader in this city, girl?" The guard called out as Starmie shrank again, smirking confidently, "I guess the rumors about the gym going out of business are true! If you don't use an attack, you'll never win! Nidoking, use Fury Attack again!"
"W-What did you say?!" Misty huffed at his rude words, "Starmie, it's time to attack! Use Water-"
"He's an idiot," I said bluntly, placing a hand on Misty's shoulder and stopping her as I looked dryly across the battlefield at the guard, "Just use Minimize again."
At this point, it was too late for the guard to come back in this situation, unless he had some insane luck. With Nidoking being confused and Starmie at +3 Evasion, the odds of his attack making contact were around 20%, and that would only get lower as Starmie continued to boost its Evasion.
Starmie was given that chance as Nidoking stumbled forward, his head spinning as, mid-charge, he fell flat onto his face instead of attacking. His head smacked into the ground with a rather painful-sounding 'conk,' and Misty called out the order again.
"Minimize again, Starmie!" She said, but then glanced over at me a bit nervously, "B-But he's right, Red, if we don't attack, then what's the point of all this?"
"It's called setting up. Essentially, we're stacking the odds in our favor because Starmie will only survive two or three attacks. This way, it's harder for the Nidoking to hit-" I paused my explanation as Misty was staring at me glossily, her head clearly spinning as she wasn't keeping up with my words at all, "Whatever, I'll explain it later! Just keep using Minimize!"
At this point, the odds were so heavily in our favor that Misty's Starmie might be able to take out more than just Nidoking. I didn't know the exact level difference, but I had to assume he was at least in the 30s, if not 40s, compared to the Starmie's roughly 20 in-game, which meant Starmie would only be able to tank two, possibly three attacks, at most. Staryu didn't learn Recover until a much higher level, so using that to completely stall out and defeat his entire team was out of the question.
Instead, we just needed to tilt the odds in Starmie's favor as much as we could, and then take out as many pokemon as it could. Its weak attacks would make the process slow, and it would inevitably be hit a few times before taking down more than 2 or 3 pokemon, but it was weakening his team for me to clean up, and giving me information about the rest of his pokemon.
It wasn't like the guard's pokemon would be healed immediately after the battle, as if he went to the Pokemon Center, we could just go into the cave while he was gone. Misty just needed to weaken his team and get some information on what his other five pokemon were, and then I would defeat him in the next battle. And, even if we did get unlucky and Starmie got knocked out quickly, I could just pull this strategy again - putting the guard through three fights with Misty, Jessie, and Joy before I took my turn.
"Nidoking, switch it up! Use Double Kick!" The guard called out again, and I was a bit surprised that he actually switched up the attack. Mainly because he should've been doing this from the start - why the hell was he using Fury Attack when it was so much less accurate?!
Granted, Double Kick would only be half-effective against Starmie, but it had 100% accuracy and had a much higher base power. However, the switch-up was too late, as even the 100% accurate Double Kick would only hit around 20% of the time at this point. The ball had started to roll, and it would be very difficult for Nidoking to stop it.
Which was proven as the guard got pretty unlucky, and Nidoking charged forward, pulling back its leg to swipe at Starmie, and then… kicked far too early. It hit nothing but air, and in an almost cartoonish way, fell onto its back after overextending the kick - hurting itself in confusion again.
"Starmie, Minimize!" The song and dance repeated again, as Starmie used Minimize, shrank, and then avoided another Double Kick from Nidoking. With one final Minimize a moment after, Starmie reached +6 Evasion, and it was time to start the next portion of the plan.
"Harden now," I told Misty, who blinked, looking over at me confusedly.
"H-Harden? Like the move those Metapods use?" She asked me doubtfully, and this time, Joy chimed in.
"Red, I think you've really lost it this time…" She called out doubtfully, but I ignored both of them.
"Nidoking is a physical attacker, and he doesn't get any special moves," I told Misty, and then grinned as the woman's eyes widened a bit, the idea sinking in.
Nidorino wouldn't get a Special move until Earth Power, and if this Nidoking had gotten that high level before being evolved, then it would be the strongest pokemon in this region, so I doubted that. The pokemon also could've learned a Special move from a TM, but considering how incompetent the guard seemed, I highly doubted that. By spamming Harden, we were creating a situation that was damn-near impossible for Nidoking to win in - every attack would not only do a low amount of damage because of Harden, but would miss the majority of the time as it was both confused and against a +6 Evasion Starmie.
"I-I get it! Starmie, use Harden!" Misty shouted, and I almost felt like a proud teacher as Misty finally understood something besides spamming one attack over and over again.
Starmie's pruple crystal body shimmered, its body pulsing with light for a second as its shell took on a tougher sheen, shining slightly as it became harder. At this point, the battle was starting to become so tilted in our favor that I wondered if the Starmie might be able to wipe out his entire team. Honestly, I hadn't expected to be able to get 6 Minimize's off without taking any damage. The guard, however, clearly wasn't about to admit defeat just yet.
"What the hell is going on, Nidoking?! Just hit it! Use Horn Attack!" He barked, sweat starting to form on his forehead as he gave a very unhelpful order to his Nidoking. At the very least, the pressure of missing so often seemed to be getting to him, as he was using both a stronger move and one that Starmie didn't resist.
Granted, he was still an idiot for not using this from the start. If he had just started with Horn Attack, then he would've only needed to land one to take out Starmie, and he would've had a much better chance of doing so.
"Just keep using Harden," I told Misty as Nidoking's horn started to glow, and he rushed forward again.
"Starmie, Harden!" She ordered, not doubting my words anymore. Starmie's body pulsed again, growing sturdier as it reached +2 Defense. By now, it should tank a hit from the Horn Attack - not that Nidoking was going to manage to hit it anyway.
Nidoking charged at the glowing purple star, its horn gleaming as it charged… then promptly veered left and smashed into the hill wall again, embedding its horn halfway in as the Confuse Ray was paying dividends. I resisted flinching as the ground shook lightly from the impact, dust spilling around its head as it started to yank itself free. For how short he was, I was reminded that Nidoking was still a fuckin' tank.
"What are you doing, Nidoking?! Again! Don't stop, just use Horn Attack again, and hit it this time!" The guard grimaced, shouting loudly as he seemed very annoyed at the situation. I silently wondered if he even knew what Confuse Ray did, or if he just thought his Nidoking was stupid.
Meanwhile, Nidoking roared in frustration as it finally yanked its horn free from the rock, stone crumbling around it as a few rocks fell to the ground. Surely that wouldn't affect the stability of the cave, right?
While Nidoking pulled himself free, Misty's Starmie pulsed again, its body shimmering as another Harden stacked onto the previous 2. The starfish's crystal spikes gleamed with a metallic shine, and the surface looked more polished and tougher as it reached +3 Defense.
"Starmie, Harden again!" Misty echoed, her voice sounding steadier and more confident than before as she was grinning lightly. She wasn't fumbling or second-guessing me anymore, and I didn't even need to tell her this time. For once, she was following through without me having to prod every step - which I felt proud about, but I really shouldn't, considering she's a damn gym leader! She should be able to do this on her own!
However, Misty's confident grin became a bit strained as Nidoking charged forward with another shining horn, and this time, it hit. Even with Starmie's high Evasion and Nidoking being confused, missing 7 attacks in a row was pretty unlucky for the guard, and that luck finally caught up with us.
The gleaming horn caught Starmie square in the center jewel as it tried to roll out of the way, but failed, knocking the starfish back a good few feet with a loud crack. Starmie spun like a Beyblade across the ground for a moment before regaining its balance, looking a bit scratched but overall not too injured.
"Starmie!" Misty gasped, her eyes glancing over at me nervously, and I really couldn't believe the nervous woman in front of me was a real-deal gym leader.
"Relax," I told her bluntly, "This is why you're using Harden in the first place. It couldn't have done more than half, so just keep going."
"H-Half?" Jessie muttered behind me, not understanding the terminology, but I ignored her.
Sure enough, Starmie stood tall and didn't faint. The Harden boosts had done their job, and the Horn Attack that could've one-shot Starmie without any Defense boosts instead only caused it to hunch over a bit.
"R-Right! Starmie, Harden!" Misty called again, her face relaxing as she saw that Starmie wasn't too injured. The pokemon obeyed without hesitation, glowing and tightening its crystal body further as it hit +4 Defense.
"Gah, that Starmie is tough, huh? Use Horn Attack again!" The guard ordered, and Nidoking lunged forward, but missed again as Starmie jumped out of the way.
"Starmie, Harden!" Misty called again without me needing to tell her, and Starmie glowed lightly again, toughening it further just as Nidoking barreled past.
"What the fuck is this?! If you're not going to attack, then just stop wasting my time!" The guard cursed, clenching his fists as he glared at me and Misty, "Ugh, damn it! Nidoking, just hit it! Take it down for good with Horn Attack!"
For someone who was hired by Lance, he really didn't have a good understanding of battles - though, I guess most, if not all, trainers in this world don't seem to, so I couldn't fully blame him. At this point, he should've been trying literally anything but spamming one attacking move, but I certainly wasn't going to be the one to tell him that.
"Starmie, Harden again!" Misty ordered, and the Starmie glowed with a bright light as Nidoking charged forward, missing again as Starmie reached the pinnacle - its body becoming as hard as steel as it reached +6 Defense.
"Good job," I hummed, a grin slipping onto my face, "Now, we can start getting some damage in."
It was a lot of set-up, but right now, that Starmie was damn-near unkillable - it was still at least half-health, with +6 Evasion and +6 Defense. It needed to be for the rest of this strategy to work.
"Now, spam the fuck outta Water Gun," I told Misty, and her grin quickly matched mine.
"Great, I can do that! Starmie, use Water Gun!" She ordered, and a burst of water shot forward from Starmie's center gem and slammed directly into Nidoking. In response, the purple muscular pokemon barely even flinched, just stumbling back a step from the force, but otherwise looking unaffected.
I suspected as much, as the level difference between the two pokemon was just too great. We'd need at least 8 or 9 Water Guns to finally take it down, but luckily, we could do exactly that.
The guard smirked at the lack of damage, "Hah, that didn't do anything to my Nidoking! Use Horn Attack again!"
He didn't get it, and I doubt he ever would - this wasn't about landing a one-hit knockout. This was about slowly, inevitability, taking out Nidoking.
"Water Gun again!" Misty shouted, her voice sharp with confidence this time, as spamming low-damage attacks was apparently her specialty.
Starmie's jewel glowed as it fired another tight jet of water, which Nidoking charged straight into carelessly, uncaring of the damage as its horn was shining again. However, as it got close to Starmie, it stumbled forward and then tripped from Confuse Ray.
"Again, Starmie!"
As Nidoking started to push itself to its feet, the spray of water smacked directly into its face, but it pushed through the damage. Nidoking finally rose to its feet, staggering slightly in a mixture of pain and confusion as the guard gave another order.
"It's barely doing anything to you, Nidoking! Push through and use Horn Attack!"
"Starmie, Water Gun!" Misty echoed again, and I was a bit impressed. During our gym battle, she had been on the back foot as she took far too long to call out orders, treating it as a back-and-forth instead of a dynamic battle. Right now, she had the guard in that very position, as she was getting off more attacks than he was.
The jet of water blasted into Nidoking's side as it let out a growl, charging forward with its horn glowing again. As much as the guard kept saying it was barely doing any damage and how Nidoking was pushing through the pain, the Water Guns were clearly stacking up - Nidoking was stumbling a bit, his face wincing in pain even as he ran at Starmie.
It barreled straight at Starmie, who darted aside, its Minimized body slipping right past the strike.
"Water Gun!" Misty shouted immediately after, throwing her arm forward dramatically, and another spray smacked into Nidoking's back, shoving the bulky monster forward onto its knees.
"Come on, Nidoking! You're stronger than some brat's starfish!" The guard shouted, his fist clenched as he started to look a bit nervous, "Take it out with Horn Attack! I was hired by the Champion himself! Even losing one pokemon against some punks would be an embarrassment!"
Seriously, was he running out of NPC dialogue? He could at least switch up the attack a bit! I know that Horn Attack's probably his highest damaging move, but he's used it like 10 times in a row! How much PP does this shit have?!
Unfortunately for the guard, Nidoking was only on its feet for a few seconds before it stumbled forward, its horn glowing as it tripped in confusion, and fell back to the ground.
"Water Gun!" The fifth jet slammed into Nidoking's side as it fell, and the pokemon let out a pained grunt.
"What the hell are you doing, Nidoking?! Get up and use Horn Attack!" The guard shouted, but it was too late.
"Water Gun," I said, giving Nidoking one final look, as I knew this would be it. It hadn't taken as many Water Guns as I suspected, but considering how many times Nidoking hit himself in confusion, it didn't need to.
"Starmie, Water Gun!" Misty shouted again, a bit of pride in her voice.
Starmie's gem glowed again, and the last burst of water hit Nidoking directly in the face as it tried to stand - instantly causing it to stumble backward. Finally, the pokemon collapsed backward, groaning once before going still, its horn half-buried in the soil, as X's filled its eyes. For a moment, the entire area was silent.
"I DID IT!" Then, Misty cheered, turning to me with bright eyes, "I-I can't believe it, Red! I really beat that Nidoking!"
I looked at her a bit dryly, "Yeah, you did it… But, good job."
I'd done all the strategy and pretty much everything besides giving Starmie the actual orders, but Misty had at least followed my instructions. That was probably a task too difficult for most trainers in this world.
Meanwhile, the guard was frozen, his jaw dropped with disbelief etched on his face. His mighty Nidoking, one of the strongest pokemon in this generation, was beaten down by a starfish spamming one of the weakest water-type attacks that even a level 5 Squirtle could use.
"D-Damn it! Come back, Nidoking!" He quickly recalled the purple pokemon, reaching down at his belt for another poke ball, "You just got lucky! This won't happen again!"
Unfortunately for the guard, that did, in fact, happen just a few minutes later. His second poke ball hit the field, and a large Arcanine appeared.
And then it was promptly spammed with a flurry of Water Guns. It was much less entertaining or dramatic than taking down Nidoking had been, as all the setup was already done, and Arcanine just missed a bunch of Take Downs - a move with 85% accuracy, and which the guard definitely shouldn't have been using, but was anyway. In a strange instance, I suspected that he knew fire-type moves were weak against water-type pokemon, as he never used any against Starmie, but didn't know that Take Down was a poor choice because of the accuracy.
It did give me a bit of information - this guard's pokemon were at least around the 40s in terms of level, as shown by both Horn Attack and Take Down, and he was at least a bit more competent than the average trainer. Not much more competent, but competent enough to know that he shouldn't use a fire-type move against Starmie. But, still not competent enough to do any damage to Starmie before Arcanine fell over, taken down by the flurry of Water Guns as it fainted.
"T-Two pokemon?! To think I'd be losing to a bunch of punks…" The guard practically growled, glaring over at us, while Misty was doing the exact opposite.
"H-How are we doing this, Red?! That was an Arcanine!" Misty gushed, looking up at me with stars in her eyes.
"Hmmph. I told you, Red's going to be the new Champion soon enough," Joy butted in, looking smugly down her nose at Misty, "He's the only smart trainer I've ever met!"
"Yeah, Red is super smart! Wait, the only one? W-What about me?" Jessie asked, only for Joy to give her a dry look and promptly not answer, "A-Are you saying I'm dumb?!"
"...I'm not saying that," Joy spoke after pausing for a moment, causing Jessie to relax a bit, but stressed her out again a moment later, "Though I'm also not saying that you're smart either…"
"Damn it! Go, Rhydon! Take out that Starmie!" The guard interrupted before Jessire could get upset, chucking forward another ball, and a Rhydon popped out of it.
Seriously, this guy was fuckin' stacked! A Nidoking, Arcanine, and then a Rhydon? If he weren't an idiot, and if he didn't have a glaring weakness to water - the exact pokemon he would be facing, considering he was guarding a cave in front of a river - then he would be a seriously tough trainer!
Unfortunately for him, he was an idiot, and his team did have a glaring weakness to water. As such, Rhydon was given the quick faint-by-Water-Gun treatment. It was actually pretty quick, too, as Rhydon was both a ground-type and rock-type - taking a page straight out of Brock's book, and being 4x weak to water. The level difference couldn't save him, and he fainted after only attempting one Take Down - which the guard seriously needed to stop using! It's 85% accuracy!
"Look, man, this is getting kind of embarrassing," I sighed as he recalled Rhydon, starting to sweat more as he looked actually nervous, "To be honest, I was planning to just have Misty act as an information-gatherer, and maybe take down a pokemon or two in the process, before I finished you off."
I had, once again, set my expectations too high - but could you blame me this time? This guy was hired by Lance, the literal Champion, to guard MEWTWO! He had a full team of overpowered-ass pokemon for this generation! I thought he'd for sure be a big-shot trainer, who wouldn't struggle to counter a very basic Confuse Ray + Evasion strategy!
Instead, his entire team was in the process of being wiped out by a single Starmie. A single Starmie, which my Buffasaur had one-shot literally seconds after it arrived on the field. On one hand, he could blame bad luck, as while he did have insanely low odds of ever hitting Starmie, he still probably should've hit one more by now- oh, wait, no, he shouldn't have, because he keeps using low-accuracy moves! And, he can't even get a lot of attempts in, because he's being out-called by Misty of all people, and has all pokemon that are weak to water so they faint to a low-level Water Gun!
To put it simply, this was the worst trainer I had ever seen. Or, he should've been, as he was really that bad, but somehow, someway, in this world, he was actually one of the best. Everyone else was just that bad.
"But, you're really about to lose to one Starmie. Can… can you just throw in the towel?" I asked him bluntly, causing the guard to blink, looking confusedly at me, "This is bad. Like, really bad. Your pokemon all have way more experience and are stronger overall, and yet, you're losing to one Starmie. So, let's just quit now, we'll go into the cave, and we don't have to tell anyone about this, alright?"
"W-What are you talking about?! You're just lucky you happen to have the powerful Starmie!" They guard countered, jutting his finger at Starmie, "I don't know where you found that thing, but it's the only reason you're winning!"
"It's a normal Starmie," I deadpanned at him, "When I fought it in my gym battle, it fainted within 10 seconds of being on the field. None of your pokemon will be able to defeat that Starmie, not because it's crazy powerful, but because my strategy and battle prowess is that much-ah, I mean, because Misty's just that much better of a trainer!"
That was a close one - I know he's been watching me tell Misty what to do for the entire battle, but if I outright admitted it, then that would probably be cheating!
"I-In 10 seconds? Damn it…" The guard's face twisted in uncertainty as he glanced at me, then to Starmie, and then back to the cave behind him, "B-But, if I give up, then I'll lose my job!"
"Then, how about this," I hummed, smirking lightly as I gave him an offer, "No one knows what the pokemon in there is besides Lance, right? Then, I won't tell anyone where I got it, and no one will ever know you let us in. If Lance comes back for it, you can just say you don't know anything - it's a mysterious ass pokemon! It's not your fault it vanished! In fact, once I become Champion, I'll even send you a little bonus for speeding this up."
I wasn't certain if this would work, as I didn't think I was as good at convincing people as I was at pokemon battling, but luckily, my offer did work.
"...Ah, fine," The guard sighed, raising his hand as he didn't grab another poke ball, "I know when I'm beat, so… don't forget what you said, alright? If you really do catch that pokemon, don't tell anyone what happened here!"
That was the first smart thing he said all battle, so I just gave him a nod in confirmation, "You have my word."
Then, I promptly started to walk towards the cave, intent on entering before he had a chance to change his mind. But, before I could reach it, I was yanked backward, and my head was suddenly engulfed in two decently-sized, and very soft pillows.
"We did it, Red! A Nidoking, Arcanine, and Rhydon! My Starmie beat them all!" Misty cheered, hugging me overly tightly as she shoved my face into her chest in the process, "You really are a great trainer, Red! I'm going to learn so much from you!"
"G-Going to?" I stuttered into her, suddenly having a bad feeling about her intentions. Two stalkers were more than enough for me, even if she was super hot!
"Y-Yeah, I thought your win at the two gyms was impressive, but…" Joy trailed off, her eyes crawling up and down my body as there was a glint in her eyes I didn't appreciate, "I think you could be even more than a Champion soon…"
More than a Champion?
"There's nothing like that," I said dryly, pulling my head out of Misty's breasts as I quickly turned to the cave and started to stride towards it. We had just wasted enough time fighting this guard, and I wasn't intent on wasting more by dealing with these crazy women! We were heading inside right now!
It was time to catch Mewtwo, damn it!
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…
Far behind me, as myself, Joy, Jessie, and Misty entered the cave, I didn't realize the thoughts going through the guard's head.
"H-He really took down that Starmie? In ten seconds?" He muttered, staring down at his feet with wide eyes, "He was telling the girl what to do, too. What he did with that Starmie… not even Lance could do that…"
As the guard witnessed the greatest trainer he had ever seen, he did what anyone in his position would. It was the natural progression of events and completely understandable for a man in his mid-30s to do.
"I need to go open a fan club!"
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AN: Thank you for reading! The next chapter will be posted in a weekish!
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