"Ta-da! You have been chosen as heroes to save the world!"
The announcement cut through the air without warning.
Mash found himself staring at a woman with long, fluffy, wavy blonde hair. Despite her casual manner of speaking, her beautiful features and pale skin radiated an air of elegance. She wore a shiny, sleeveless white garment that resembled a peplos—like a Greek sculpture of a goddess come to life. She appeared to be in her early twenties.
His gaze drifted to her cleavage.
"Where am I?"
He had been on the station platform moments ago, but now he stood in an unfamiliar place—a strange space surrounded by needlessly gorgeous stone pillars that resembled the interior of a temple.
"This is the space where God resides. This area is my office. And you have all been chosen as heroes to save the world, you know?"
"No, I think he was mistaken for a molester and got into a fight with a high school girl."
Mash looked around and spotted the long-haired woman in a sailor uniform who had been fighting with him earlier. She was examining their surroundings with the same confusion he felt.
Eventually, she noticed his presence.
"Molester! Don't run away!"
The woman shouted and came toward him.
"It wasn't me! Like I said many times, I was on my phone the whole time."
"You liar! I won't forgive you!"
Women never seemed to listen, Mash thought bitterly.
The victim hadn't actually been her. She had spotted a girl in the same school uniform being molested and suddenly grabbed his arm. He hadn't even known that anyone was being molested—that's what she claimed, anyway.
"Damn it, I want to hit you," he muttered under his breath.
He always got irritated when dealing with someone who refused to hear reason.
"After molestation, now violence? That's disgusting!"
Mash really did want to hit this woman.
"Umm, that person is not a molester."
The blonde woman seemed unable to bear watching the argument and came over to help.
"Well, you weren't there at the scene, were you?"
That was true, Mash realized. If a woman like this had been on the train, she would have been a prime target herself. She didn't have the luxury of defending him.
"Fufufu, I am a goddess. I know everything."
The woman who called herself a goddess raised her hand, and an image of a train's interior projected into the air.
The train was packed with tired-looking men in suits. Among them stood one particularly exhausted figure—himself from this morning. The man continued fiddling with his cell phone with both hands, occasionally grinning.
"Hey, don't film me. Film the victim," Mash protested.
He wanted to see evidence of the actual molestation.
"Bubu, if I do that, you'll be able to see the girl being... well, you know. It's an invasion of privacy."
"Damn, you're a useless woman too."
"I'm not a woman. Please call me Lady Lachsel with respect."
"What? You said you were a goddess. With your appearance, aren't you a woman?"
"My gender is female. So please don't call me 'woman' or 'you'—just Lady Lachsel."
As they engaged in this meaningless conversation, the video showed a woman in a sailor uniform pushing through the crowd and approaching him. The woman grabbed his wrist and started yelling that he was a molester. The train stopped at the station, and she dragged him off.
"He was standing in a position where he couldn't even see the victim, and he was holding his phone with both hands. This is false accusation at best," Lachsel concluded.
"Because he had the most lewd look on his face. He was grinning," the girl insisted.
Yeah, Mash admitted to himself, it probably looked a little gross, but he was innocent.
"That's terrible logic!"
"I thought for sure you would do it!"
"You're so persistent! I'm a pervert, but I've never acted on it."
The woman looked astonished.
The video ended and the monitor disappeared.
"No way... because you..." She left the intriguing line unfinished, collapsed to her knees, and put her hands on the floor. It was the first time Mash had ever seen someone actually collapse to their knees in defeat.
He thought she might apologize, but she stood up unsteadily instead.
"Do you know me?"
"I don't know..."
Although she denied it, it seemed possible they had met somewhere before.
"What do you think? He didn't do it, did he? He's innocent, isn't he?"
The woman gritted her teeth in frustration at Lachsel's words, like a boxer who had been knocked down but managed to get back up, only to lose by decision.
The way Lachsel spoke just seemed provocative, but since she had proven his innocence, Mash decided to keep quiet.
"It's over. I'm glad justice prevailed. Now, put me back where I was. No, put me back at the office. I don't want to be late."
"That's not possible."
Lachsel spoke with certainty.
"You are heroes summoned to save a certain world. You will now be transported to that world."
"What?" Both Mash and the girl in the sailor uniform spoke in unison.
"You two will join forces and defeat the Demon King."
"What do you mean, Demon King? Are you stupid?" Mash demanded.
"Brrr, I won't accept any objections. I'm pushing forward so we can move quickly. With the goddess's blessing, I will grant you both three special skills. Please make your choice quickly."
A monitor appeared in front of both Mash and the girl in the sailor uniform, displaying a long list.
"What's with this list? It's so long. I can't read it all," Mash complained.
"That's right! I can't keep up with what you're saying. Don't just go ahead without explaining," the woman in the sailor uniform protested.
"Isn't it your fault for starting a fight as soon as you got here? Humans only have a short time to stay here before they disappear. You two are lovers, so you need to get along, otherwise it'll be a mess."
"No, you saw the video just now. This is the first time we've met, and he thinks I'm a criminal," she said.
"I'm sorry for treating you like a criminal, but it's terrible to call this old man my lover!" Mash shot back.
"Are you still dissing me?"
"Uh, sorry, but I just can't do it physically."
When he glared at her, she looked away. This hurt him more than being treated like a molester.
"That can't be true. I have made the right choice. But we don't have time right now. Anyway, please choose your special skills."
Mash had no idea what force was at work, but the tips of his feet were starting to disappear. There really wasn't much time.
He looked at the list, but it seemed endless. There were simply too many items, most filled with incomprehensible keywords that even someone with chuunibyou syndrome would find excessive: Super Explosive Killing, Killing All, Suicide Sword, Raging Shout Annihilation Ray, Dark Death Wave, The Great Dark Demon Lord's Laughing Descent, Dark Smile.
"Hey, tell me what you recommend."
"I recommend them all."
"Damn, at least tell me what kind of world we're going to and what we need."
"You're going to a fantastic fantasy world of swords, magic, and adventure. We were actually planning to introduce it with a blockbuster video that took a year to plan and produce, but you asked for footage of that stuffy, cramped train..."
Mash would be in trouble if people looked at him with disapproval. Still, this was a fantasy world. Since there were so many aggressive-sounding options, there must be monsters or other enemies that needed defeating.
He noticed two skills whose effects he could understand:
• Increases experience points earned by all party members
• Increases the rate at which all party members obtain rare items
For his third choice, he spotted "Goddess Summon." Even though he knew there was nothing to be gained by summoning this stupid woman, he chose it anyway.
The woman in the sailor suit seemed to have finished choosing, so he took a look at her selections:
• Super Kill
• Super Save
• Super Expansion
"Supermarket? Are you a convenience store employee?" he asked.
"Huh? What's that?" she replied with a straight face.
Was this a generation gap? This woman had been naturally chipping away at his patience for a while now.
"Hehe, you've gathered all the special skills in the same category. The three skills will work together, and as you level up, higher-level skills will be activated," Lachsel explained.
"Seriously? You should have told me that information first!"
Should he have filled his selection with dark-themed skills as well? While he had been choosing skills, his body had disappeared down to his knees. He was surprised but felt no pain—he could still sense the disappeared areas and walk normally. It was a strange sensation.
"Now, I will create character sheets for you after the transfer. The names and some information will be visible to everyone, serving as identification. Please tell me your names."
This woman had summoned them without even knowing their names?
"I'm Yamase Mizuki," the woman in the sailor suit introduced herself.
Her name reminded Mash of the heroine from an erotic game he'd been obsessed with.
"Does it have to be my real name?"
"Hmm. It's not really ideal, but we're short on time, so I'll allow it."
"Then... Mash."
Mizuki burst out laughing beside him. When she noticed his gaze, she quickly bowed her head apologetically.
He wanted to tell her endless stories about how he'd saved countless game worlds with this name, but he kept quiet, afraid of being ridiculed further.
"Yes. I am the Goddess of Adventure, so your job is adventurer. It's a great job that focuses on fieldwork skills, allows you to fight reasonably well, and even lets you use a little magic."
"A jack of all trades, master of none, who becomes useless as his level increases," Mash muttered.
"Uuh, if you say so... please say 'Open Storage,'" Lachsel instructed.
"An embarrassing guy who won't get anything done," he continued.
Mizuki, standing next to him in disbelief, chanted "Open Storage." A storage space appeared in front of her.
"Amazing! Wow! Seriously!" Mizuki was excited. Mash was surprised too.
"I'll give you money, so please keep it in there. I'll also give you initial equipment—an iron sword and leather breastplate. Plus a copy of 'How to Travel the World,' which I specially supervised. It's quite voluminous, so please read it when you have time. I especially recommend the feature on great date spots at the beginning. Be sure to go there together. Oh, and if you want to see the character sheet I created, just think about it. It has a help function for anything you don't understand."
So much information was packed in that it was hard to process. Mash figured it was best to focus on the essentials.
The money given was 100 silver coins.
"How long can we live on this money?" Mizuki asked.
"About 10 days of normal inn life."
"That's not much."
It couldn't be helped since it was startup money. Mash called up his Storage and put in the silver coins and equipment he received. He also threw in his work bag and the smartphone from his suit pocket. He probably wouldn't have a chance to use it again.
Before he knew it, his body had disappeared down to his waist.
"Well, it's time to depart, though I'm reluctant to see you go. I'll make sure you're bilingual so you won't have trouble with the language. When you arrive, head to town first and stop by the Adventurer's Guild. Also, please pray in front of my statue in the temple from time to time. I'd appreciate any donations. Then, defeat the Demon King."
She'd been speaking at a rapid pace for a while now, even dropping the polite sentence endings.
"If we defeat the Demon King, will we be able to return to our original world?" Mizuki asked.
If she was going to speak politely to a woman like that, Mash wanted her to show him some respect too.
"That's... well, yes. I'll think about it once we've defeated him. But I don't have time right now."
"Wait, is anyone else being transported besides us?"
"This time, I only summoned you two. The other gods have also summoned pairs of heroes like me."
"This time? And there are other gods?"
There wasn't much information Mash had been able to organize. He could ask about the destination when he got there, but he wanted to hear about the gods now.
"Hey, tell me more about the gods."
"Hehe, what are my measurements?"
"That's not what I meant. But sure, tell me your measurements too. What I want to know is what you're all planning by summoning us."
"My measurements are a secret. Of course, I summoned you to defeat the Demon King. Defeat him before the other heroes. Now, let's set out on your journey."
Mash was filled with anxiety, but even if he returned to his original world, he'd be treated like a molester on the commuter train and his life would effectively be over. Even if that could be avoided, the days of being a tired office worker would just continue endlessly.
It might be good to start over in a new world.
"Wait."
Just as he was starting to feel ready to leave, Mizuki called out.
"What is it?"
"I'm truly sorry for treating you like a molester. I saw a girl wearing the same uniform as me being touched, and I wanted to help her, so I... If hitting me makes you feel better, then please do."
So it had been for the sake of a stranger? She had an extremely strong sense of justice.
"Why would I hit you?"
"Because you said earlier that you wanted to hit me."
It was just an expression, he thought.
"Okay. That'll be fine."
"Ugh. So you really want to hit me? Go ahead."
She probably thought that if she just apologized, she'd be forgiven and not actually get hit.
Mash was certainly angry about what she'd done, but there was no point in hitting her. In fact, he'd never hit anyone before. He felt bad that she'd seen right through him. He needed a different solution.
Mizuki, having steeled herself, turned toward him with her eyes closed, offering her lips defensively.
Was she inviting him?
He cupped her cheeks with both hands and pressed his lips against hers.
"Mmmmmmm!"
Mizuki groaned in surprise as her lips were covered. She tried to escape the kiss, but he didn't let her go. When he saw her mouth open, he slipped his tongue inside and explored.
Mizuki pushed him away and followed up with a slap.
"Wh-what are you doing?!"
"You looked like you wanted it. And you said I could punish you."
"I didn't! That was my first kiss!"
She glared at him while wiping her mouth.
That was surprising. She looked pure and innocent, but she seemed popular enough that he'd assumed she was experienced.
And for the record, it had been his first time too.
"You almost erased me from society," he pointed out.
"Well, well, since you went to the trouble of kissing each other to make up, I hope you continue to get along well as a couple."
Mizuki seemed to be responding to Lachsel's stupid comment, but Mash could barely hear anything. His body was almost completely gone, and his consciousness was fading.
"Well then, you two. Have a nice trip—bon voyage!"
Lachsel waved her hand as everything went dark.