The clearing lay in eerie silence. Charred trees smoldered, ash drifted through the air like snow in a windstorm. The Nightmare Beast had retreated for now, smoke curling from its claws and nostrils.
Ahmed lay crumpled in the dirt, twitching, half-breathing, and probably closer to death than anyone should ever be. His glowing veins had dimmed slightly, his skin smoked faintly.
The cultivator stood a few meters away, one hand gripping her blade, the other brushing back hair matted with soot. She exhaled heavily, her chest rising and falling as if she'd just run a marathon while simultaneously fighting a volcano.
"Are… are you still alive?" she asked in disbelief, her tone half-exasperated, half-impressed.
Ahmed coughed violently. "Yes… yes, I'm alive… barely… but alive!" He waved weakly, like a drowning man signaling a passing ship.
🔊 [SYSTEM NOTICE: BEGINNER PACK UNLOCK IN… 1 HOUR, 48 MINUTES.]
Ahmed groaned, clutching his head. "1 hour… 48 minutes?! SYSTEM! I'M LYING HERE DYING, AND YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WAIT?!"
🔊 [CORRECT. HOST NEEDS TO LEARN PATIENCE THROUGH SUFFERING.]
He rolled onto his back, looking up at the sky. "Ya rabbi… if I survive this… I swear I'm never eating another spiritual fruit again… unless it's free. Or has flavor."
Ahmed Tries to Make Conversation
Weakly sitting up, Ahmed glanced at the cultivator, smoke curling from his eyebrows. "…Ma'am… since we almost died together… may I know your name?"
The cultivator's glowing blade flickered in the dying sunlight, her expression unreadable. "…I am Liuyue," she said coldly. "Why do you care?"
Ahmed waved a shaky hand. "Well… you saved my useless butt, so I kinda owe you… a lot… or maybe… just a little… or at least a thank you!"
🔊 [SYSTEM NOTICE: HOST ATTEMPTS SOCIAL INTERACTION. SUCCESS RATE: MINUS 500.]
Ahmed winced. "Minus 500? I… I thought gratitude was universal!"
🔊 [CORRECT. HOST IS STILL EMBARRASSING.]
Liuyue's lips twitched slightly, as if she wanted to smile but refused. "Perhaps… you are not entirely useless."
Ahmed froze. "…Wait… did you just… compliment me?"
🔊 [NOTICE: SYSTEM HAS DETECTED RARE COMEDIC MIRACLE. 0.00001% CHANCE.]
"YES! COMPLIMENTED ME! THIS IS A HOLY DAY!" Ahmed shouted, raising his fists weakly.
Liuyue's eyes flicked toward him. "Do not get used to it, human. You are still an idiot."
Ahmed laughed nervously. "…Yes! But… an idiot with potential?"
🔊 [CORRECT. HOST IS NOW OFFICIALLY DELUSIONAL.]
Beginner Pack Arrival
Before the conversation could devolve further, a shimmer appeared in the air. A box, glowing faintly with golden inscriptions, descended slowly in front of Ahmed.
🔊 [SYSTEM NOTICE: BEGINNER PACK UNLOCKED. CONTENTS MAY CAUSE INSTANT DEATH.]
Ahmed blinked. "…It's… beautiful… Is it… mine?"
🔊 [CORRECT. HOST CLAIMED PACKAGE. RECOMMEND IMMEDIATE OPENING.]
Ahmed carefully opened the box, hands shaking. The air buzzed with a strange energy, and a small holographic display appeared above it, reading:
"Beginner Pack: Contents – Random. Probability of Survival Increase: 0.0001% – 5%."
Ahmed gasped. "0.0001%?! Wait… that's… oh, okay… better than my survival before!"
🔊 [CORRECT. HOST NOW HAS SLIGHTLY HIGHER CHANCE OF NOT DYING IMMEDIATELY.]
From the box floated a glowing scroll, a pair of leather gloves, and a tiny crystal that vibrated ominously.
Ahmed picked up the scroll. "…What does this do?"
🔊 [NOTICE: HOST HAS ACQUIRED 'BEGINNER TECHNIQUE: UNSTABLE FIREBALL.' EFFECTIVENESS: QUESTIONABLE. DEATH RATE: 30%.]
"30% DEATH RATE?! SYSTEM! WHY DO I GET EVERYTHING WITH A DEATH RATE?"
🔊 [CORRECT. HOST IS A SPECIAL CASE.]
Ahmed put on the gloves and held the crystal. Sparks flew from his hands immediately. "…Ya rabbi… I'm glowing again…"
Liuyue raised an eyebrow. "…Do not touch that yet."
Ahmed froze. "…Do not… touch it… yet? You mean… NOW?!"
Testing the Beginner Pack
Against his better judgment, Ahmed waved his hands experimentally. A tiny fireball flickered to life between his palms. It wobbled, fizzled, and exploded in a puff of smoke, sending him tumbling backward.
"AAAAHH! I AM A FIRE HAZARD!" he screamed, landing face-first in the dirt.
Liuyue pinched the bridge of her nose. "…You are worse than I imagined."
🔊 [SYSTEM NOTICE: HOST'S BEGINNER TECHNIQUE USAGE – DISASTER LEVEL: MAXIMUM. COMEDY LEVEL: 99.9%.]
Ahmed groaned, flames sputtering from his hair. "I… I swear I'll get better… eventually… maybe… in about… a hundred lifetimes."
Liuyue exhaled slowly, lowering her blade. "…Perhaps… you have a tiny spark. But it is buried under incompetence and stupidity."
Ahmed's face lit up. "…Tiny spark? I LIKE THAT! SYSTEM, DID YOU HEAR? I HAVE A TINY SPARK!"
🔊 [CORRECT. HOST IS DELUSIONALLY MOTIVATED.]
The System Roasts Non-Stop
As Ahmed attempted another unstable fireball, the System's voice rang.
🔊 [SYSTEM NOTICE: HOST ATTEMPTING NEW TECHNIQUE. FAILURE RATE: 99.9999%. COMEDY VALUE: MAXIMUM.]
"99.9999% FAILURE?!" Ahmed shouted. "…I LOVE THESE ODDS!"
The fireball exploded again, this time burning a small patch of grass and a conveniently placed bush. Ahmed coughed. "…Okay, maybe not love… maybe hate a little…"
🔊 [CORRECT. HOST'S FIREBALL TECHNIQUE IS NOW OFFICIALLY NAMED: 'BURNING IDIOCY.']
Liuyue glanced at him. "…Do not touch anything else until you learn control. Or die. Again."
Ahmed saluted weakly. "…Yes… controlling death… sounds like a good plan."
Relationship Evolution
For the first time, Ahmed noticed something new about Liuyue. She wasn't just stoic. She was analyzing him, assessing his potential, and — faintly — hoping he might survive longer than expected.
"…Wait…" Ahmed muttered. "Is she… rooting for me?"
🔊 [NOTICE: SYSTEM HAS DETECTED IMPOSSIBLE HUMAN INTERACTION: CULTIVATOR ROOTING FOR HOST. PROBABILITY: 0.00001%.]
"Impossible!" Ahmed shouted. "…I'M ACTUALLY IMPORTANT!"
Liuyue rolled her eyes. "…Do not misinterpret my assessment. You are still a liability."
Ahmed grinned weakly. "…Still counts as attention, right?"
🔊 [CORRECT. HOST IS DELUSIONALLY CONFIDENT.]
Cliffhanger Setup
As Ahmed practiced minor fireballs under Liuyue's strict supervision, the ground trembled again.
The Nightmare Beast had not retreated far. Its molten eyes glowed with renewed fury, and black smoke spiraled from its body like a storm.
Ahmed froze. "…Oh no… it's back."
Liuyue's expression hardened. "Stay close. Do not die before learning even a single technique."
Ahmed swallowed. "…System… Beginner Pack… anything… please?"
🔊 [NOTICE: BEGINNER PACK WILL GRANT UNSTABLE POWER IN 59 MINUTES.]
Ahmed groaned. "…Fifty-nine minutes?! THAT'S STILL TOO LONG!"
The Nightmare Beast roared in the distance, a reminder that death was never far behind.
Ahmed clutched the glowing crystal, fire flickering from his palms, and whispered, "…okay… maybe I can survive this. Maybe. Possibly. Probably not."
Liuyue glanced at him. "…Do not die."
Ahmed's response: a weak thumbs-up, glowing veins still flickering, hair smoking faintly.
🔊 [SYSTEM NOTICE: HOST CONTINUES TO BE COMEDICALLY USELESS. SURVIVAL CHANCE: SLIGHTLY INCREASED.]
The forest shivered. Shadows deepened. And Ahmed… took a deep breath.
"…let's try not dying, shall we?"
Epilogue Cliffhanger :
The clearing was silent but tense. Flames and ash swirled in the fading light. Ahmed's body, glowing faintly from the Beginner Pack's unstable power, trembled as he faced the distant roar of the Nightmare Beast.
The System chimed again.
🔊 [NOTICE: BEGINNER PACK FULL POWER AVAILABLE IN… 59 MINUTES.]
Ahmed groaned. "…Fifty-nine minutes… I might just survive… or explode… or die laughing. Either way, adventure continues."
[TO BE CONTINUED...]