The cultivator's blade flickered. The Nightmare Beast's black fire surged forward, a tidal wave of molten death.
And Ahmed? Ahmed screamed like a dying goat and charged straight into the apocalypse, glowing faintly like a malfunctioning lantern.
🔊 [NOTICE: HOST IS ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING INCREDIBLY STUPID.]
The Leap Into Madness
The heat scorched his skin, singeing his hair as he dove through the flames. He flailed his arms wildly, not like a warrior, but like a drowning man trying to swim through fire. His mind was a blur of terror and adrenaline.
"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! YA RABBI, SAVE MEEEEE!"
His glowing hands smashed forward, colliding with the Nightmare Beast's burning chest. For a single, impossible heartbeat… something happened.
A shockwave blasted outward.
The flames split like curtains, hissing and retreating around his body. Ahmed's skin glowed with unstable qi, cracks of light spreading through his veins as if his body was a cracked vessel barely holding the energy inside.
The Nightmare Beast staggered back half a step, snarling in surprise.
The cultivator froze mid-strike, her blade trembling. Her eyes widened.
"This fool…" she whispered. "He actually—"
🔊 [NOTICE: HOST HAS INVENTED NEW TECHNIQUE: 'DUMB LUCK IMPACT.' EFFECTIVENESS: 0.01%. COMEDY VALUE: 100%.]
The System Keeps Score
Ahmed landed face-first in the dirt, twitching. Smoke rose from his clothes, his hair frizzled out like he'd been electrocuted.
He weakly raised one hand. "Did… did I kill it?"
🔊 [CORRECTION: HOST DID NOT KILL IT. HOST DID NOT EVEN SCRATCH IT. HOST ONLY MADE IT SLIGHTLY CONFUSED.]
Ahmed groaned. "Confused? That's good enough! Confusion means survival!"
The bear roared, shaking off its surprise, molten saliva dripping in rivers. Its eyes locked onto Ahmed with a new kind of fury — the fury reserved for flies that dared land on kings.
🔊 [NOTICE: HOST IS NOW TOP OF AGGRO LIST. SURVIVAL CHANCE: 0.0000000000000000001%.]
Ahmed coughed. "…I think the number got longer."
🔊 [CORRECT. HOST HAS ACHIEVED NEW RECORD IN USELESSNESS.]
The Cultivator Intervenes
The cultivator moved in a blur, her glowing blade slicing across the beast's face. Sparks and blood erupted, the monster howling in pain.
"Stay back!" she snapped at Ahmed. "Your presence is only—" She stopped mid-sentence, her eyes flicking to the faint glow still radiating from Ahmed's cracked veins. "…no. Perhaps… perhaps not entirely useless."
Ahmed, still twitching on the ground, gave a thumbs-up. "See? Not useless!"
🔊 [CORRECTION: STILL 99.9999999% USELESS.]
"Shut up, System!"
The woman leapt again, her sword dancing in blinding arcs. The beast swung its colossal claws, sparks raining as steel met scale. The battlefield became a storm of fire, steel, and earth-shattering roars.
Ahmed crawled backward, dragging himself behind a half-burnt tree trunk. His chest heaved. Every nerve screamed.
But… deep inside, under all the terror, he felt it. That faint spark. That insane, impossible moment where he had actually stood against the beast.
He muttered to himself, "Ya Ahmed… maybe… just maybe… you're not completely trash."
🔊 [NOTICE: DELUSION DETECTED.]
The Countdown
His head snapped up as the System chimed again.
🔊 [BEGINNER PACK UNLOCK IN: 1 HOUR, 53 MINUTES.]
Ahmed grabbed his hair and screamed. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I'M OUT HERE DYING AND YOU'RE MAKING ME WAIT TWO HOURS FOR A TUTORIAL GIFT BOX?!"
🔊 [CORRECT. PLEASE STRUGGLE MORE. ENTERTAINMENT VALUE INCREASING.]
"ENTERTAINMENT?! YOU'RE USING ME AS TV!"
🔊 [CORRECT AGAIN. HOST'S SUFFERING IS PEAK COMEDY.]
Ahmed slammed his forehead against the dirt repeatedly. "I hate my life… I hate my life… I hate my—"
A shadow loomed over him.
He froze. Slowly, painfully, he turned his head.
The Nightmare Beast's colossal foot hovered above him.
A Stupid Idea
Ahmed's mind blanked. He couldn't fight. He couldn't run.
But… something inside him whispered.
That spark.
He clenched his glowing, cracked fists. If one lucky strike had thrown it off balance… maybe, just maybe, another would keep him alive for a few more seconds.
He screamed, "ALLAHU YASTOR! TAKE THIS!" and threw a punch upward.
His fist connected with the beast's toe.
There was a dull thud. A ripple of unstable energy burst from his hand, sparking and sizzling.
The Nightmare Beast froze. Then… it howled.
Not in pain. In rage.
Because Ahmed had stubbed its toe.
The cultivator's blade faltered mid-swing. "…Did he… really just—"
🔊 [NOTICE: HOST HAS INVENTED NEW TECHNIQUE: TOE STUB STRIKE. EFFECTIVENESS: NEGATIVE DAMAGE. AGGRO LEVEL: MAXIMUM.]
Ahmed's jaw dropped. "NEGATIVE DAMAGE?! WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!"
🔊 [ANSWER: YOU MADE IT ANGRIER WITHOUT ACTUALLY HURTING IT.]
The Cultivator's Fury
The woman appeared beside him in a flash, grabbing Ahmed by the collar and dragging him out of the monster's stomp range.
"Are you insane?!" she snapped. "You provoke it with useless attacks and nearly get yourself killed again!"
Ahmed coughed. "Listen, habibti, I was TRYING, okay? Better than just crying in the dirt!"
Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Do not… call me that."
🔊 [NOTICE: HOST HAS ACTIVATED 'INSTANT DEATH FLAG.']
Ahmed squealed. "Sorry! Sorry! Respectful title only! Ya… ya Ustaadha of Blades!"
She sighed heavily, dropping him like a sack of potatoes. "Just… stay alive."
Ahmed gave her a shaky salute. "Yes ma'am! Staying alive is my number one specialty!"
🔊 [CORRECTION: HOST'S SPECIALTY IS ACTUALLY 'DYING SPECTACULARLY.']
The Beast's Last Gambit
The Nightmare Beast roared, its molten eyes blazing brighter than ever. It reared back, black fire gathering in its throat. The ground cracked, trees turned to ash.
The cultivator gripped her sword, summoning every last shred of qi. The blade flickered dangerously — her reserves nearly gone.
Ahmed's stomach gurgled violently. The unstable fruit's energy burned inside him, threatening to rip him apart. His skin glowed with cracks of light, steam hissing from his body.
"…if I don't do something… we're both dead," he whispered.
🔊 [NOTICE: HOST HAS REALIZED BASIC TRUTH. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ACHIEVED.]
"Shut up, System… just… for once, shut up."
🔊 [DENIED.]
Ahmed's Gamble
The beast roared, fire spilling toward them like a tidal wave.
The cultivator leapt forward, her blade rising for one desperate strike.
And Ahmed… charged straight into the flames again.
He screamed, every nerve burning, every bone shaking. The unstable energy in his veins surged wildly, threatening to explode.
"IF I DIE, I DIE LOUD!!!"
He slammed both glowing fists into the ground.
A shockwave erupted. The earth cracked, flames parted, and a burst of unstable qi shot upward into the monster's chest.
For the first time… the Nightmare Beast staggered back in pain.
The cultivator's eyes widened.
"He… actually landed a blow."
🔊 [NOTICE: HOST HAS INVENTED NEW TECHNIQUE: 'SUICIDE BURST ART.' COST: ALL ORGANS.]
Ahmed collapsed, coughing blood. His chest smoked, his body twitching. "Did… did I… do good?"
The Cliffhanger
The Nightmare Beast shrieked, blood dripping from its chest. But instead of falling… it grew angrier.
Its molten eyes locked onto Ahmed.
It ignored the cultivator completely.
And with a roar that shook the heavens, it charged straight at him.
Ahmed, broken and trembling, looked up weakly.
"…oh crap."
🔊 [NOTICE: HOST IS ABOUT TO DIE FOR REAL THIS TIME.]
The monster's claws descended —
And everything went black.
Epilogue Cliffhanger :
The clearing fell silent. Flames smoldered, ash drifted. Ahmed's body lay crumpled in the dirt, unmoving.
The cultivator gasped.
The System chimed.
🔊 [NOTICE: BEGINNER PACK UNLOCK IN… 1 HOUR, 48 MINUTES.]
[TO BE CONTINUED...]