The clearing quaked as the Nightmare Beast lunged, flames spiraling outward in a storm of embers. Its roar split the sky, shaking branches loose from already scorched trees. The crimson glow in its eyes fixed upon Ahmed with a single, burning intention: erase this absurd little man from existence.
Ahmed screamed—a high-pitched, utterly unheroic sound that echoed off the trees like a goat being mugged.
"Ya ALLAH—why does it look angrier than before?!"
🔊 [NOTICE: BEAST HAS BEEN HUMILIATED. DIGNITY DAMAGE: 500%. KILL INTENT: MAXIMUM.]
Ahmed's legs moved before his brain did. He bolted sideways, arms flailing like windmills. The glowing residue of unstable fire still clung to his body, making him look less like a hero and more like a malfunctioning lantern sprinting for its life.
Liuyue, calm as ever, adjusted her stance. Her blade shimmered with silver light, poised to intercept the beast's charge.
"Ahmed," she said evenly, her voice cutting through the chaos, "control your fear. Do not run blindly."
Ahmed, mid-sprint, tripped over a half-burned log. "Too late for that, habibti!"
He tumbled head over heels, landing face-first in a patch of ash. The beast's claw raked the spot where he'd been standing a heartbeat earlier, gouging the earth in a shower of dirt and sparks.
The Beast's Dignity Problem
For a moment, the Nightmare Beast paused. It blinked its burning eyes, staring at the human who had just evaded certain death by… sheer accident.
It tilted its head, horns gleaming in the firelight. Was this… intentional? A strategy? Or just stupidity so profound it confused the laws of probability?
🔊 [NOTICE: BEAST CONFUSED. HOST CLASS: CHAOTIC JESTER.]
Ahmed scrambled to his feet, ash smeared across his face like bad war paint. He raised his fists weakly. "That's right! Fear me, you barbecue nightmare! This is all part of my master plan!"
His voice cracked on the word "plan."
The beast growled, low and guttural, as though insulted by the very concept of Ahmed existing. Liuyue leapt forward, her blade flashing. She struck the beast's flank, sparks flying as steel met flesh. The monster bellowed and staggered back a step, its focus momentarily split.
Ahmed took this chance to dive behind a tree stump. He peeked out, eyes wide. "Okay, okay, just thirty-two minutes… thirty-two minutes of not dying…"
🔊 [CORRECTION: STATISTICAL SURVIVAL WINDOW FOR HOST: 0.0004 MINUTES.]
Ahmed slapped his forehead. "Ya rabbi, why do you hate me so much?"
🔊 [SYSTEM DOES NOT HATE HOST. SYSTEM ENJOYS HOST'S SUFFERING.]
The Chaos Multiplies
The beast lunged again, this time swiping its massive claws toward Liuyue. She met the strike head-on, her blade clashing against its flaming talons. Sparks lit the clearing as their clash rang like thunder.
Ahmed, meanwhile, fumbled with his hands. The unstable fireball flickered back into existence, shimmering with dangerous energy. His eyes widened.
"No no no no—why did it come back?! I wasn't ready yet!"
🔊 [NOTICE: BEGINNER PACK AUTO-REPLENISH FEATURE ACTIVE. HOST NOW HOLDS ANOTHER FIREBALL. FAILURE CHANCE: STILL 99%.]
Ahmed stared at the glowing sphere of chaos in his palm. His hands shook. "If I throw this wrong, I'll roast myself… if I hold it too long, I'll roast myself… if I breathe wrong, I'll—"
The fireball twitched ominously.
"—I'll roast myself."
He peeked at Liuyue, who was locked in combat. Her strikes were elegant, precise, forcing the beast back one step at a time. But she couldn't land a decisive blow. Its scales were too thick, its fire too fierce.
And that's when Ahmed's brain—fueled by desperation and a little madness—sparked an idea.
Ahmed's Terrible Plan
"What if… what if I aim for its face?"
🔊 [NOTICE: HOST CANNOT AIM.]
"I can aim!"
🔊 [COUNTER-EXAMPLES: ALL PREVIOUS ATTEMPTS.]
Ahmed grimaced. "Okay, fine, I can't aim. But maybe… maybe if I just throw it really hard?"
🔊 [RECALCULATION: NEW STRATEGY WILL FAIL FASTER.]
He ignored the System, wound back his arm like a professional cricketer who had no idea how cricket worked, and hurled the unstable fireball at the Nightmare Beast.
It soared—shakily, wobbling in the air like a drunk pigeon.
Liuyue's eyes widened. "Ahmed, no—!"
The fireball missed the beast's face by several meters.
Instead, it struck a massive boulder on the far side of the clearing.
EXPLOSION IMPACT !BOOOOOOM! "SFX"
The explosion shattered the rock into shards the size of wagons. Stone fragments rained down across the battlefield like meteors.
One particularly large shard smacked the Nightmare Beast squarely on the snout.
THUNK!
The monster staggered, eyes crossing momentarily.
Ahmed blinked from behind his stump. "…Did I just…?"
🔊 [NOTICE: HOST SUCCESSFULLY USED ENVIRONMENT. INTELLIGENCE SCORE: TEMPORARILY +1.]
The Beast's Humiliation
The Nightmare Beast shook its massive head, snorting smoke furiously. First its backside, now its snout—both disgraced by the idiot glowing like a dying lamp.
It roared louder than ever, flames spiraling into a vortex around its horns. Its fury was no longer directed at Liuyue, not even at survival. No, its pride demanded one thing: Ahmed must die.
Ahmed saw the fiery glow intensify and squealed. "Why me?! Go attack her, she's the strong one! I'm just the appetizer!"
Liuyue, calm even as the inferno swirled, called out: "Ahmed—focus!"
"Focus?! Sister, I can't even focus on my breakfast without burning the eggs!"
🔊 [FACT-CHECK: HOST ONCE BURNED WATER.]
Ahmed slapped his forehead. "That was one time!"
Countdown Tension
The ground shook as the beast charged again, eyes burning with humiliation-driven rage.
🔊 [NOTICE: BEGINNER PACK FULL POWER AVAILABLE IN… 29 MINUTES.]
Ahmed's jaw dropped. "Twenty-nine minutes?! Ya rabbi, that's forever! I'll be kebab by then!"
He bolted again, zigzagging wildly through the clearing. Fireballs spawned in his hands one after another, each one fumbled, dropped, or tossed in the wrong direction. The result?
—A half-burnt tree collapsed dramatically.
—A family of squirrels fled their nest screaming (or maybe chittering angrily).
—And somehow, Ahmed managed to set his own pants on fire.
"AAAAH! MY TROUSERS! WHY IS IT ALWAYS MY TROUSERS?!"
Liuyue, still clashing with the beast, didn't even look at him. "Stop running. Stand. Fight."
Ahmed flailed, slapping at his smoking trousers. "I am fighting! I'm fighting for my life!"
🔊 [NOTICE: HOST INVENTED NEW MARTIAL ART: PANIC STYLE.]
Epilogue Cliffhanger :– The Next Strike
The Nightmare Beast roared again, flames gathering in its maw. The air itself grew scorching, the smell of burning filling the clearing.
Liuyue braced, her blade glowing brighter, preparing to intercept.
Ahmed, still hopping around with half-burnt pants, froze as the fireball in his hand pulsed dangerously. His eyes widened.
"…Oh no. Oh no no no. This one feels… different."
The unstable sphere of chaos in his grip vibrated like a bomb ready to detonate.
🔊 [WARNING: FIREBALL INSTABILITY LEVEL: MAXIMUM. HOST'S CHANCE OF SURVIVAL: NEGATIVE.]
Ahmed screamed again, louder than before, as the Nightmare Beast unleashed its fiery breath.
The System chimed.
🔊 [NOTICE: BEGINNER PACK FULL POWER AVAILABLE IN… 28 MINUTES.]
And destiny, cruel and comedic, laughed once more.
[TO BE CONTINUED....]