Chapter 237: Valentine's Day Dilemma
Mr. Channing's problem was finally resolved, and everyone was happy, except for Channing himself who was still in prison. Because of his news coverage, the whole world was discussing his private affairs.
But this had nothing to do with Ron anymore.
Because after spending a rare peaceful Christmas without any rogue terrorists causing chaos and no missions to deploy on, he had to face the thing that every player feared most.
That is, who should he spend Valentine's Day with?
Even Leonard and Howard, who finally didn't have to spend Valentine's Day alone for the first time, were discussing this issue.
"Hey, Howard, how are you and Bernadette going to spend your first Valentine's Day?" Leonard first brought up the topic of holiday celebration.
"I've been wracking my brain. I plan to take her to Golden Dragon for a special couple's meal for $39.95," Howard said excitedly. "The meal includes egg rolls, pot stickers, and unlimited stir-fries. The best part is you can take a photo with the decorative lion at the entrance. It's exciting just thinking about it, right?"
"I think you're probably the only one excited about this. To be honest, I now understand more and more why you've only found your first serious girlfriend now. Do you really think women would be interested in this?"
Ron replied while eating the food on his plate. Valentine's Day was approaching, and Gisele had been hinting that she could ask him out that day. Of course, the other women had no intention of letting him off the hook, so he could only hide at Caltech under the pretext of checking the progress of the drone project.
But in reality, Sheldon was far more of a buzzkill than he was. "Considering that Saint Valentine was a Roman priest who was stoned and beheaded in the third century, wouldn't it be more appropriate to celebrate on a night like this by taking your girlfriend to see a brutal slasher film?"
"I get your point, but given a choice, Jews always go for takeout," Howard protested.
"Honestly, Sheldon's suggestion today is actually brilliant. If you're willing to take Bernadette to a movie after dinner, it'll definitely help your relationship grow stronger."
"Really?" Howard asked skeptically. His doubt wasn't primarily directed at Ron. He took every word from Ron, the master pickup artist, as gospel, and judging by past experience, it always worked.
But as everyone knows, any dating advice becomes unreliable once Sheldon's influence is added to it.
"Of course it's true. Think about it—in a dimly lit movie theater, when a film shows a bloody and terrifying scene, how do women usually react?"
"Of course they'll start screaming in terror," Ron gave the correct answer without waiting for their response: "At that moment, nothing can make them feel safer than a warm embrace, do you understand what I mean?"
"But you need to consider one thing—Howard's girlfriend Bernadette is a microbiologist, and when Howard watches horror movies, he's often the one who screams the loudest,"
Rajesh pointed out.
"Well, I thought Sheldon was the one who screamed the loudest."
"No, Sheldon usually faints first," Rajesh complained bitterly. His frustration was mainly directed at everyone present, because among all of them, only he and Sheldon were still single.
Or rather, it was just him, because Sheldon was content with physics, and physicists didn't need women.
"If any of you are interested, I can tell you that this Valentine's Day, like every year, I'll buy a rotisserie chicken from Ralph's, bring it home, stand at the kitchen counter, and eat it straight from the container with my bare hands like a caveman."
"Ron, what about you?"
"Me? I'll probably do everything I can to keep all those women satisfied, and then spend the day completely drained. Honestly, I'd rather visit Jurassic World alone with only a pair of tweezers. Those women are no less dangerous than a T-Rex when they get pissed off."
Ron's expression darkened. Of course, women wouldn't devour him like a T-Rex, but they could exhaust all his energy. Just imagine how many women he would have to face that day?
In comparison, the T-Rex would be easier to handle. If he were in the right terrain, like a dense redwood forest with lots of trees, Ron could easily use the environment to his advantage and run circles until the T-Rex ran out of stamina.
Through the study of modern reptiles, we know that reptiles generally have stamina limitations. The animal with the best endurance in the world should be the "persistence hunter," and Ron and his girlfriends happened to belong to this category.
"Very good, so to sum it up—one involves a decorative lion, one is a bachelor going home alone to eat chicken, and one is going to Jurassic World to fight a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Let me see, who's left?"
"Yes, only my plan remains." Leonard laughed so hard his eyes nearly disappeared, but the situation suddenly became awkward. Everyone was eating their food and no one responded, so he had to prompt them himself: "Does anyone want to ask how I plan to spend my time?"
"Aren't you planning to have a massive argument with Penny at home while I'm not there?" Ron said boredly while picking at his food, "But I suggest you stock up on Viagra beforehand. From my usual experience as an unwilling eavesdropper, it's somewhat underwhelming."
"No, that's not what I'm talking about. That's just my usual routine, and now the situation has changed," Leonard quickly shifted away from discussing his performance: "Guess who the university plans to send to Switzerland to attend a conference and visit CERN's Large Hadron Collider?"
"Professor Norton, for reasons only God knows, hasn't published any significant papers since he won the Nobel Prize." Sheldon was practically green with envy.
"Actually, Professor Norton can't go. He threw out his back bouldering. They invited me to replace him, and I can also bring someone with me."
Leonard was afraid that Ron would say something unfavorable about him, so he quickly announced the answer.
"Oh, God!" "Congratulations." Everyone congratulated in unison, but Sheldon's way of congratulating was slightly different.
"It's absolutely incredible. I don't even want to question why they chose you!" Sheldon acted happier than Leonard. He pushed away his food and stood up hurriedly when he was only halfway through his meal: "I need to go home and pack my bags right now."
"I thought you were going to take Penny with you," Ron patted Leonard's shoulder in confusion: "How desperate are you to take Sheldon to Switzerland on Valentine's Day?"
(End of this chapter)
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